


Vermilion

by Nyxako



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Background Character Death, Creative use of sand jutsu, Developing Relationship, Enthusiastic Consent, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fighting, Gaara is a sweet sandy bean, Mystery, POV Haruno Sakura, Platonic Kankuro/Sakura, Poison, Slow Burn, Sunagakure | Hidden Sand Village, bisexual oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:06:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 102,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxako/pseuds/Nyxako
Summary: When one of Gaara's personal guards is murdered with a new and powerful poison, Sakura is sent to Suna to act as their replacement. While trying to create an antidote, she finds herself growing closer to Gaara than she ever expected. [GaaSaku]





	1. Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story takes place a few years after the end of the war. It’s rated M for overall theme and later content, and it’s going to be a pretty long slow-burn fic.

The sun was just barely beginning to touch the edges of the sky as Sakura walked through the gates of Konoha. The village was eerily quiet as it always was at the first break of dawn. A light breeze blew past her and she smiled, stretching her arms above her head to work out the kinks in her back. When she pulled her arms down, her hair caught on some of the mud caked onto her forearms, causing a groan to escape her lips. Her good mood was immediately ruined.

The mission she was returning from had not only been one of the most boring intelligence-gathering missions she'd ever been on, but it had also required her to literally bathe herself in mud and stay covered in it for a full week. She'd watched a home in a small village--one that just so happened to belong to their leader--to see if there was any evidence that the rumors of a new leader taking over were true. Sure, she'd gathered enough information to determine that there likely had been a shift in leadership, but she'd done it by laying in the mud with Sai for a week. She would have liked to have been able to throw a few punches at the very least; sitting around doing nothing had never really been her style.

"I still don't understand why you think it's logical to decide who fills out the mission report based on a game of rock-paper-scissors,” Sai said from where he stood just a few steps ahead. 

Sakura glanced at him and smiled as she fought back a yawn. He was watching her with his usual blank expression, though it was somehow almost funny to see him so calm and serene when he was just as covered in dried mud as she was, if not more so.

"At least I give you the chance to win. If you were still going on missions with Kakashi-sensei and Naruto, you know they would bail the moment you guys reached the village," Sakura replied easily with a shrug of her shoulders, grimacing as she felt the crust on her skin shift.

"They did fill out the paperwork twice, though."

"Yeah, and you were unconscious one of those times and had your fingers broken the other time. And then you had to rewrite the reports anyway because they refused to use any details."

"I suppose you're right," Sai murmured thoughtfully as he glanced down at the scroll in his hand. He shifted his fingers around it and Sakura watched as some of the dried mud fell to the ground, making her wonder exactly how bad she looked right now. She had no doubt that her bathroom would look absolutely horrible after she'd finally washed all of the mud off, and she definitely wasn't looking forward to having to scrub down the entire room after she was finally clean.

The sound of a door opening caught Sakura's attention. Her gaze shifted to the side only to find one of the nearby merchants beginning to set up their stall. It must have been later in the morning than she'd originally thought.

"I'm gonna head home to clean up," Sakura said, scowling as she turned to begin walking in the direction of her apartment and felt some of the mud fall off of her legs. She would no doubt leave a trail behind her.

Sai nodded his head in response and Sakura waved at him briefly before jumping onto a nearby rooftop. She didn't even have to think about her route as her feet instinctively carried her in the direction of home.

*****

Sakura plopped down onto her couch cushions, kicking her feet up to rest on the coffee table as she read through the letters that had arrived for her while she'd been away. She grabbed the letter from the top of the pile and shifted until she was more comfortable, ignoring the way her tank top bunched up to her waist as she took a sip of the relaxing tea she'd made.

It had taken almost an hour of showering to get the mud out of her hair, and even longer to get it feeling soft again. After that she'd had to scrub her bathroom clean and then shower again just to get the dirt from cleaning off of her skin. Next time, she would make sure to jump into a river to rinse off on the way home, even if it did add an extra day to her travel time.

She placed her tea cup onto the coffee table and was reaching out to grab another letter when a quick knock sounded from her front door. She frowned, her muscles immediately tensing as she cautiously stood. No one was supposed to know that she'd returned almost two days earlier than expected, and while she didn't expect a potential enemy to knock politely on the front door, it did very little to calm the nerves that had already begun standing on end.

Another knock sounded through her small apartment, but this time there was a pattern to it. Three knocks, two taps, followed by one more knock and the sound of a fingernail scratching lightly against the wooden door.

Sakura immediately felt a smile tug at her lips as she jumped toward her front door, not even bothering to make sure she looked presentable before undoing the locks and stepping back. The door swung open, and before she had a chance to look at the person entering her apartment, she was being picked up and squished into a hug that would have been unbearably tight if she had been anything but a ninja.

"I was told you'd be covered in mud. I'm kind of disappointed that you're not."

"Oh shut up, pervert," Sakura laughed, swinging her legs wildly in the air until she was finally allowed to drop back to the ground. She looked up to watch Kankuro's paint-covered face burst into a grin even as she punched him on the arm.

"Is that how you treat all of your friends that you haven't seen in a year?" Kankuro grumbled as he rubbed his arm where she'd punched him. Sakura watched his eyes narrow into a withering glare, but there was a twinkle of humor there that let her know he wasn't actually angry. Most people would have been shaken by that look and been unable to see the laughter threatening to burst through his lips, but she knew him much better than that.

"Only the ones who go an entire year without contacting me even once," Sakura replied, throwing as much snark into her voice as she possibly could, even though she knew the smile on her lips would give away the fact that she was just as excited to see him as he was to see her.

After Temari had moved to Konoha, Kankuro had visited her every month for the first year to make sure Shikamaru was treating her well. Everyone knew that Temari could take care of herself, including Kankuro, but that hadn't stopped him from being overprotective of his sister. Temari had taken it in stride for the first few months, but before long she'd begun kicking him out of the house during the day. He'd wandered around Konoha aimlessly, until the Rokudaime had given him special permission to visit and work with the poisons labs to keep him busy. Sakura had immediately bonded with Kankuro when he'd helped her figure out an antidote to one of the poisons she'd been having trouble with. Plus, there was that whole saving-his-life thing from a few years back.

"What brings you to Konoha, anyway?"

"Why, I'm here to seek out my favorite poisons expert, of course." Sakura watched the smirk grow across his lips and immediately felt herself perk up. It'd been far too long since she'd had a new poison to study, and after the horribly boring mission she'd just returned from, the prospect of analyzing something new was exciting enough to cause a tingle to run down her spine. "And before you turn into a smartass, I'm not talking about Shizune."

Sakura rolled her eyes, trying to feign an air of nonchalance, but she had been planning to say exactly that. It was both amusing and unnerving that there was someone out there who understood her sense of humor so well. "Fine, let me just go get changed first."

She waved her arm to beckon him into her apartment before turning to head toward her bedroom. She knew that Kankuro would shut the door behind him and wait in her living room, just like he'd always done when he'd come to visit in the past.

One she reached her bedroom, Sakura quickly dug out a pair of clean clothes that she'd packed for the mission but had never gotten a chance to wear and threw them on. She put her hair into a quick ponytail and double checked to make sure she hadn't forgotten to grab her pass for the hospital, then made her way back into the living room where Kankuro was standing by her bookshelf studying the spines of her books, just like she'd known he would be. It seemed like the year apart hadn't changed him at all.

"Let's go," Sakura hummed, smiling at Kankuro for a short moment before turning to exit her apartment. She didn't bother to wait for him so that she could lock the door after he'd left - at some point over the years, he'd figured out how to lock and unlock doors with his chakra strings.

When Sakura reached the middle of the street, she glanced behind her to see Kankuro standing at her door with a serious look on his face as his chakra strings worked on locking the door. There was an excitement she hadn't felt in a long time pulsing beneath her skin. Not only was she finally getting to see one of her closest friends again, but she was also getting to exercise her brain by studying the new poison he'd brought her. If Kankuro had come to Konoha for her help, that meant that it was more difficult than he could handle alone, and it had been a long time since she'd been properly challenged. Maybe this was exactly what she needed.

*****

"This is fascinating," Sakura breathed out, examining the poison that was currently surrounded by her chakra as it hovered above a large bowl. It had been a long time since she'd seen anything this complex, and it was especially interesting for a contact poison. If she had to guess, she would say that this could probably kill a fully-grown man in seconds. "Where is it from?"

"We don't know," Kankuro replied, his voice low enough that she almost didn't hear it. Sakura glanced up, noticing the way his shoulders had tensed and his lips had pulled into a hard line. Whatever had brought this poison to him couldn't have been good.

Kankuro shifted his eyes around the empty room cautiously for a moment before reaching his hand out toward the door to the room. He spread his fingers, and Sakura watched as chakra threads shot from his fingertips to close the door they'd left open. She placed the poison back into the bowl carefully, making sure that it didn't splash at all before stepping away from the table.

"This is the third time we've seen this poison in the last six months, and all three times when we studied the corpses, the poison was only used on our medics. The rest of the team was killed from regular attacks," Kankuro whispered, his eyes narrowing as if to relay the gravity of the situation. "That's why we need your help, Sakura. Whoever is behind this, it seems like they're targeting our medics."

Sakura felt her mouth open in surprise as she glanced away from Kankuro's face to look at the poison resting innocently in the bowl. It was hard to wrap her thoughts around the fact that a poison that was more complex and potent than anything she'd seen before was being used to specifically take out medic nin. It made sense for an enemy to target the medics first, and Sakura knew that not every medic was armed with enough combat skills to defend themselves like she could, but it was a dirty tactic. If someone was going around specifically targeting the medic nins from Suna, and if they managed to take out more than the three that had already died, the potential repercussions could be disastrous for their forces.

A loud knock sounded from the other side of the door that Kankuro was still keeping held firmly shut with his chakra. The sound was so loud and sudden that Sakura almost jumped in surprise, but years of training herself to not respond to pain or shock kept her from moving, even if it didn't stop her heart from feeling like it was about to leap out of her chest.

"Sakura-san, if you do not open this door I'll be forced to break through it."

Sakura frowned, immediately recognizing the voice that was on the other side of the door. It wasn't often that ANBU ever sought her out, and it was even more rare for Yamato to come find her personally. He was one of Kakashi's personal ANBU guards, so the fact that he'd left Kakashi's side was a red flag that indicated something serious had happened.

She turned to Kankuro and nodded her head to let him know that it was safe. He dropped the chakra strings and stepped to the side to allow the door to open fully just in time for Yamato to walk forward, his ANBU mask resting on his face.

"What can I do for you?" Sakura asked, keeping her voice as calm and distantly polite as she could. When Yamato was wearing the mask, she wasn't supposed to let on that she knew who it was, even if the people around them were allies.

"Hokage-sama has requested both of you in his office immediately," Yamato said, his tone the epitome of professional as he nodded toward Kankuro.

Sakura glanced over at Kankuro with a raised eyebrow, wondering what Kakashi would want with both of them at the same time. Kankuro only shrugged in response before quickly moving to return the poison to the flask he'd brought it in.

Yamato shifted from one foot to the other, causing Sakura to look up at him curiously. His shoulders were more tense than they normally were while he was on duty, and she had to fight back the urge to ask him what had happened. It had been years since she'd seen Yamato this nervous, and it took all of her self restraint to not reach out and try to calm him down or relax his muscles with healing chakra.

"Okay, everything's packed away," Kankuro murmured as he stepped up to stand beside her. Sakura could tell that he looked just as nervous as Yamato, but with everything that had been going on in Suna it was easy enough to understand why.

Yamato nodded curtly and turned on his heel, leading them away from the research lab and in the direction of the Hokage's office.

*****

When Sakura and Kankuro finally arrived at the Hokage's office, they found Kakashi sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. Sakura recognized that stance as one that he only ever used when he was trying to figure out how to fix something.

"You called for us, Hokage-sama?"

"Please don't call me that," Kakashi grumbled as he watched both of them closely, and Sakura could swear that she saw the cogs turning in his head. She stepped forward until she was almost at the desk, feeling Kankuro remain by her side the entire way. Behind her she heard Yamato close the door to the office, and a few seconds later the locks turned as well to keep anyone from wandering in and overhearing the conversation that was about to happen.

Sakura waited for someone to speak up, glancing around the room that hadn't changed much from when Tsunade had been Hokage. She had the feeling that the hidden compartment in the bookcase no longer had bottles of sake in it and were instead lined with backup copies of Icha Icha, but other than that everything seemed the same.

Her eyes shifted back to Kakashi with confusion when she glanced back at the clock and realized it'd been more than five minutes of silence already. It wasn't like him to delay for this long, since he usually wanted things to be done as quickly as possible if he couldn't avoid it completely.

"Kakashi-sensei, why did you call for both of us?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied Kakashi's face. He didn't answer right away and instead looked away, which only caused her curiosity to flare to life. She went through the potential reasons for calling both of them in her mind; if Kakashi wasn't willing to speak up first, she would have to figure it out herself.

"You only ever call me to your office when you need my healing abilities, or when there's a highly sensitive mission to give me. You sent one of your personal ANBU to get us, which is almost unheard of unless there's an emergency, and the fact that you sent for Kankuro as well means that something must have happened in Suna. Something that may require my abilities."

Kakashi watched quietly for a long moment before letting out a long sigh. He leaned forward and placed his elbows onto the desk, folding his fingers together and resting his chin on them.

"You always were my smartest student, Sakura-chan," Kakashi mumbled, shifting his eyes to Kankuro before closing them. "There's been an attack on one of your brother’s personal guards. I'm told that the attacker used the same poison that you came here to seek our assistance with."

For a long moment, no one spoke. Sakura felt her mouth gape open slightly as she took in Kakashi's words. The fact that someone had gotten close enough to Gaara to attack one of his personal guard was unsettling enough, but the fact that they'd used the poison she'd been looking at earlier meant that whoever the guard was must have died. Kankuro had mentioned that there was no antidote or any way to counter it yet, which was why he'd come to her for help. Sakura gulped and felt her stomach drop. 

"The guard that was attacked was Chouko-san, wasn't it?" Kankuro asked. Sakura could practically feel the tension rolling off of him in waves, and felt a pang of worry settle into her throat. She reached out and grabbed one of his hands with her own, keeping her shoulders squared and her eyes trained forward even as she felt the way his hand was shaking. Kakashi nodded his head slowly, and Sakura squeezed her hand tighter around Kankuro's as a hiss escaped his lips. "Shit, of course."

Sakura didn't have to ask anything to understand what was going on. The guard who had been attacked with the poison had died, and from the way Kankuro had known who it was immediately, Sakura could easily deduce that they'd been a medic, just like all of the others who had been attacked with the poison.

"What the hell is going on over there?" Sakura breathed out, more to herself than anything else. Her fingers tightened around Kankuro's hand as she heard him sniffle, but she kept her eyes forward, knowing that he wouldn't want anyone to see the tears that were no doubt falling down his cheeks. If this person had been someone Gaara trusted enough to make a personal guard, they would have no doubt been close to Kankuro as well.

"That's what I would like to find out," Kakashi replied, and Sakura immediately noticed the change in his demeanor. The expression he wore now was all business, his official Hokage expression for when things had gotten serious. "Kankuro, your brother has requested that you return to Suna immediately. Sakura, I would like for you to go with him and act as a replacement for the personal guard that was lost."

Sakura felt her eyes widen in surprise - she had been expecting an order to focus on making an antidote for the poison. It wouldn't have been surprising for her to be sent to Suna to study it more closely, but being sent as a guard?

"With all due respect, Kakashi-sensei, I've never been a personal guard for anyone before. Why would you choose me to act as a replacement?"

"You're the best option right now," Kakashi replied. "You're intelligent, with a working knowledge of poisons that rivals Tsunade, and your particular combat style would work well in a situation where you needed to defend someone. The Kazekage just had one of his personal guards attacked but did not mention the attacker being apprehended, which means that the culprit was able to get through their defenses and get away cleanly. It's going to be hard for him to trust any of the people around him right now."

"But why me?" Sakura asked, letting the confusion she felt slip into her voice. She had never been particularly close to Gaara and only knew anything about him other than his status because of his friendship with Naruto. If it was difficult for him to trust anyone right now, why did Kakashi seem to think that he would trust her to be one of his personal guards when she was practically a stranger?

"You're Naruto's best friend," Kankuro spoke up, his voice sounding surprisingly calm. Sakura glanced over to him, only to see his eyes on her and slightly bloodshot. There was a small smile on his lips despite the way his hand was still shaking slightly. "That alone makes you trustworthy to him, but there's also the fact that you saved my life when Sasori poisoned me. You helped in the rescue efforts to save him, and by extension, helped save the entire village. He trusts you."

Sakura blinked owlishly at him, wondering if perhaps Kankuro had gone temporarily crazy.

"Well, there you have it." Sakura shifted her eyes back to Kakashi as he spoke, and noticed that he had already begun searching for a new scroll to no doubt send Gaara a reply. "You'll leave tomorrow for an undetermined amount of time. I'll make sure to speak to your landlord and your mother about the situation so that they can determine what to do with your belongings while you're gone. You shouldn't need your jounin gear, as you'll likely be given a Suna uniform when you arrive to help you blend in."

Kakashi's tone of voice left no room for negotiation, and for a moment Sakura wondered if she should at least try to argue for more time to get her affairs settled. Leaving the apartment she had worked so hard to get, along with all of the furniture she'd had to purchase to go with it, left a bad taste in her mouth.

As if sensing her hesitation, she felt Kankuro lace their fingers together and squeeze. She glanced over at him, and immediately felt the uncertainty melt away as guilt bubbled to the surface. He had a reassuring smile on his lips, but it was overshadowed by the haunted look hiding in his eyes. He had just lost a friend, someone he probably regarded as family. Suna’s medics were being systematically murdered, and here she was worrying about material possessions. She shifted her eyes to the floor, unable to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry for making you leave on another mission right away, Sakura-chan."

Sakura lifted her eyes to Kakashi and studied his expression. There was something akin to remorse for sending her away again so quickly, as his voice conveyed, but underneath that was something else that she hadn't seen from him in a very long time. He was afraid.

"It's okay," she replied, forcing a smile to her lips that she hoped was convincing enough. "You said that I was the best option right now, and I don't want to wait around while I settle things here and risk more people dying--not when I could be helping figure out an antidote and helping to protect people."

“I should have-” Kankuro began, but quickly cut himself off as his fingers tightened around hers enough that it was almost painful, but she just ignored the pain and squeezed back. 

There was no doubt in Sakura’s mind about how that sentence would have ended if he’d kept going. _I should have been there to prevent it, I should have stayed by their side, I should have figured out an antidote sooner to save them_ ; these were all things that Sakura had told herself time and time again. Every time she lost a patient, every time one of her friends was injured, she would repeat those same words to herself like a mantra. It never helped.

Sakura leaned to her side and nudged Kankuro with her shoulder, offering him a comforting smile when he finally looked her way. She was still embarrassed that she’d thought about her apartment and all the stuff inside of it for even a moment, but right now was not the time to focus on that. Right now, her friend was hurt, and being there for him was so much more important than berating herself.

"Thank you," Kankuro whispered before looking away. Sakura watched him for a moment longer before turning to face Kakashi once again. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. There was no more time for her to hesitate, not if she wanted to help. She pushed the last of her uncertainty aside and nodded her head once, ready to accept her mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur, cosipotente, and k_waifu for beta’ing and cheering me on when I got discouraged.  
> I plan on updating once a week for the first 5 chapters, and once every two weeks after that. If I won’t be posting on schedule, I’ll leave an update about it on my [writing tumblr](https://nyxako-writing.tumblr.com). Comments are always appreciated, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. ♥


	2. Black Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING!** This chapter gets a little bit gross. It's not _too_ bad, but I figured it deserved a warning anyway just in case.

It had already been four days, and Sakura was getting tired of traveling.

The last time she’d gone to Suna it had only taken three days. It had been spring time, which made traveling through the harsh desert much easier. Unfortunately for her, right now it was the middle of summer, which meant that it was nearly impossible to travel during the day.

Instead of trekking straight through until they arrived, they'd decided to periodically escape the searing daylight and rest in the small caves that were scattered throughout the desert. Traveling between dusk and early morning saved them from potentially having to deal with heat stroke. It made their trip much longer than she'd originally anticipated, but luckily Kankuro had assured her that they only had one more day of sleeping in caves left before they finally reached Suna. They'd passed a few landmarks that he apparently recognized, but how he managed to distinguish one cactus from another was a complete mystery to her.

"There's a cave up ahead that we can rest in for the day," Kankuro called over his shoulder as he continued to walk. Sakura glanced at the sky, noticing that the sun had already risen halfway to the point of noon. If they didn't rest in the upcoming cave, they would be stuck traveling in the desert through the worst of the heat.

Sakura shifted her eyes to the cave Kankuro had mentioned. It was nestled in the side of a large rock formation and even from this distance, she could tell that the cave itself was man-made. Someone had likely made it to escape the daylight just like they were going to do, though there was no telling how long it had been there.

As they drew closer to the entrance however, she couldn't help but feel like something about it was just... off. She felt a shiver run down her spine and glanced over at Kankuro, only to see him watching her with the same suspicious look that she was likely wearing. There was a feeling settling beneath her skin that was telling her to turn away, to find somewhere else to rest for the day, but noon was fast approaching and there was nothing in sight that would allow for her to build them a cave to rest in for the day. There was just a seemingly endless expanse of sand.

Sakura began running toward the cave at an angle so that if anyone was watching from the entrance, it would look like she had simply disappeared. Subconsciously, she noticed Kankuro following her, but her attention remained focused on suppressing her chakra as much as possible and pulling a kunai out of the pouch on her hip. Sakura quickened her pace and reached the side of the rock formation in record time, shuddering as she felt her nerves begin tingling, though she couldn't tell if it was in anticipation or fear. Perhaps it was both.

Kankuro shifted so that he was closer to the entrance than she was and cautiously began moving toward the cave. Sakura quietly followed him while glancing around to make sure that no one was trying to sneak up on them. The desert around them remained blissfully empty and before she knew it, they had almost reached the entrance.

Kankuro stopped moving forward, holding a hand out to stop her body from passing his. He glanced in her direction and Sakura met his eyes, immediately feeling a frown tug at her lips. The look in his eyes wasn't the look she had been expecting. She'd expected him to look serious and ready for a fight--instead, he looked nervous, and a little bit scared. She tilted her head to the side slightly, wondering why he was reacting like that when they hadn't even reached the cave yet, and then she smelled it. It was a horrible, putrid odor that she hadn't been around in years, but it was also one that she would never be able to truly forget, no matter how hard she tried.

She felt her chakra suppression falter as she lost her focus, the smell startling her more than it probably should have. Sakura hissed in frustration at her mistake, knowing that if there were enemies in the cave, they could have very easily been alerted to her presence. She was about to fall back, until she noticed Kankuro digging out two scrolls from his hip pouch to summon his puppets. He wasn't suppressing his chakra any longer and was instead preparing for battle.

Sakura was beginning to grow nervous; she hadn't properly fought anyone outside of a spar in a very long time, and the nausea that had begun setting in when she recognized the smell wasn't helping her any. Still, they needed to escape the sun and the enemy would have no doubt noticed them already. This wasn't something they could just run away from.

Sakura lifted her over-shirt to cover her nose and block as much of the smell as she could before taking a deep breath, feeling her nerves relax as she exhaled. She repeated this three more times until she finally felt steady and then let her eyes open, noticing that Kankuro's eyes were on her questioningly. She quickly tied the shirt over her face and nodded her head slowly, letting him know that she was ready. It was now or never.

Kankuro nodded back and lifted his hands, his fingers twitching as he sent his puppets to the entrance. Sakura watched with bated breath, waiting to see if the puppets were attacked. Nothing happened.

Almost a full minute passed before Kankuro decided it was safe and jumped up to the cave entrance. Sakura immediately followed him, and the sight that met her vision made her stomach churn as the nausea threatened to overtake her and spill out through her mouth.

There was no one in the cave--no one alive, at least.

Sakura glanced around the cave carefully, determined to look anywhere except for the bodies strewn about the hard rock floor. She kept her eyes peeled for any movement indicating that someone else was in there with them, but after a while it was hard to ignore the fact that there was no one else in the cave except for her, Kankuro, and three dead Suna-nin. She would have to look at them sooner or later.

Kankuro moved further into the cave, catching Sakura's attention and dragging her eyes to the three people she'd been trying desperately not to see since she first reached the entrance. One of the men was laid down next to a wall, blood spattered onto the rock from the gash on his throat. The man next to him had a gaping hole in his chest where he'd obviously been stabbed through the heart. The third Suna-nin was further into the cave, and Sakura struggled to see the wound that had caused their death through Kankuro's body. He was crouched beside them, and the only thing that Sakura could see from her current location was that they were laying face down on the cave floor.

After a moment of standing around awkwardly, Sakura moved toward the two men that were closest to her, doing her best to ignore the smell that lingered in the cave as she got closer to them. Both of them had yellow marbling on their skin, which meant that they'd been here for a while, but their facial features were still pretty clear. She was grateful that the bloating process hadn't started yet, or the smell that was already bad would have been enough to make her vomit.

"Sakura, can you come here?" Kankuro called from across the cave, his voice more strained than she'd heard it in years. Immediately, Sakura felt her nerves stand on end--something was definitely wrong.

After taking one last look at the two men, Sakura made her way toward Kankuro. He stood and waved an arm out toward the third body before stepping around their feet so that he could watch Sakura examine them. She crouched down where he had been a moment ago, and the first thing she noticed was the lack of blood staining the rock around the body. Sakura immediately felt her eyebrows furrow in confusion as she looked over the body. There weren't any visible wounds, but their skin was just as yellowed and marbled as the others.

Her eyes scanned every piece of skin until she finally noticed the small puncture wound at the back of their neck, resting just above the mark on their shirt that showed they were a medic. It was certainly high enough up the neck that it could have caused death if it reached their spine, but she could tell even with just a glance that the wound wasn't nearly deep enough to cause irreparable damage.

"Look closer," Kankuro said, obviously noticing her confusion and where her eyes had fallen. Sakura glanced at him once before shifting her eyes back to the puncture wound, holding her breath as she leaned closer. There was definitely something off about the injury besides the depth, and it took her a few more seconds to realize that there was a slight shine at the edge of the perforation.

Without saying anything, Sakura lifted her hands and hovered them above the wound. She gently touched the shining area with her chakra, closing her eyes as she tried to feel the chemical composition of it. Carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen... She felt a frown tug at her lips as she realized that this was a poison she had seen very recently. It was the same one Kankuro had brought with him to Konoha, the poison that was currently being used to murder Suna's medics.

Sakura lifted her eyes to Kankuro, opening her mouth to tell him what she'd discovered, but the look on his face stopped her before the words left her lips. He had known what it was when he asked her to look at it; he'd just wanted confirmation. She let her mouth close and looked away, wincing slightly as she heard his fist pound repeatedly against the wall.

The medic side of her wanted nothing more than to grab Kankuro's arm and stop him from injuring himself further. She wanted to heal his fist, which would no doubt be bruised and possibly bloody, and then have him sit and calm down until his breathing returned to normal. She did none of that.

Sakura could only imagine how much pain he must be in right now, but the physical pain in his hand would be nothing compared to the turmoil raging inside of him. The only reason she was traveling to Suna with him was because one of his friends had been murdered. On the way there, they'd discovered three more people who had died, people he had likely known at least in passing. Before this, enough people had died from this poison for him to travel to Konoha through the blazing desert heat to seek her help. He'd lost more people in the span of a few months than she had in her entire life.

Sakura sat quietly and listened as Kankuro's fists slowly began to hit the wall less aggressively until she heard the sound of material scraping against rock. She didn't have to look up to know that he had leaned against the wall and slid down when he no longer had the strength to stand. She knew that there was nothing she could do to ease his pain right now, but maybe there was something she could do to help make this a little bit easier on him.

After waiting a moment longer, Sakura stood up and walked over to her backpack, digging inside of the main compartment until she found one of her older shirts. It had been one of the first jounin shirts she'd received, but it had been worn down until there were enough holes to make it impossible to wear on missions anymore. She'd been using it as a pajama shirt for over a year and it was still one of her favorite articles of clothing, but there were some things that were more important than nostalgia.

She gazed at the shirt for a second longer and then grabbed her water canister, pouring just enough water onto the shirt to make it damp. She squared her shoulders and moved toward the man who'd been stabbed in the chest, tightening the shirt around her face as she tried to push the smell coming from the body toward the back of her mind.

Sakura knelt down beside the man and began wiping down his body with her damp jounin shirt so that his body no longer smelled of his own fecal matter and urine. Once the visible patches of skin were clean, or at least more presentable, she gathered some chakra into her hands and let them hover over the Suna-nin’s half-closed eyes. She relaxed the muscles surrounding their eyelids and gently pushed them down until they were fully closed.

On the other side of the cave, Kankuro had gathered himself and torn his undershirt off so that he could clean the medic's body. Sakura let her eyes fall to the man who'd had his neck slashed open and moved to wipe down his body as well, letting her mind go blank as she and Kankuro worked in silence. She closed the eyes of the man she'd been cleaning off and then moved to do the same for the medic.

"How long do you think it'll take for them to..." Kankuro trailed off. Sakura could hear the hesitation in his voice, and knew that he was wondering how long these people would look like themselves. How long it would take until their bodies began to swell and they became almost unrecognizable even to their own families. She watched him for a moment longer before glancing at the body in front of her, frowning as she tried to gauge the approximate time of death. Putrefaction had yet to set in, which was always a good sign, but judging from the marbling on the skin she knew it would be sooner rather than later.

"Normally, I would say anywhere between eighteen and twenty four hours. In this heat though, it will probably take around twelve hours, maybe less. It's hard to tell exactly."

Sakura shifted her eyes to Kankuro and watched as he wandered to the entrance of the cave and looked out. She could only assume that he was looking for location markers, anything to indicate where they were, but from what she remembered there was approximately one cactus and then nothing but sand.

"From here, we have about ten hours of travel until we reach Suna," Kankuro said, his voice quiet as if he were talking to himself. Sakura could practically hear the thoughts running around his mind. She knew he would want to somehow get his people back home to their families, but if they waited out the day and left at dusk, their bodies would almost definitely have started bloating by the time they reached Suna, which would bring about a whole slew of new problems. They could contact Suna and send out a request for a retrieval team, but that would take even more time.

The only way to get these people back before the putrefaction process started would be for them to travel during the day. In these temperatures, heat exhaustion would be inevitable and they would definitely be risking heat stroke. If they both fainted from heat stroke before reaching Suna, and if no one found them in time, death was almost guaranteed.

Despite knowing this, there was a small voice in the back of her mind telling her that they could do this. Maybe it was the years of working alongside Naruto and seeing him accomplish so many things everyone else had thought impossible, but she wanted to try. She wanted to help Kankuro bring his people home, and she wanted to believe that they would survive doing it.

"Do you have an extra set of clothes?" Sakura asked, watching the confusion on Kankuro's face as he nodded his head slowly. "Can I have them?"

Kankuro watched her suspiciously for a moment longer before tossing his backpack toward her. She immediately began digging through the main compartment, searching for the signature black clothing she'd come to associate with Kankuro. Once she had the garments in hand, she dug a little deeper into the pack until she found the chakra transmission communication device they'd brought along just in case anything happened. If they were going to reach their destination sooner than expected, it'd be a good idea to let them know, especially if they were going to be returning with the bodies.

Sakura turned the device on and found the channel for Suna's headquarters, telling them that she and Kankuro would be returning to Suna in about ten hours with the bodies of three dead Suna-nin once she'd finally reached someone on the other line. After the brief conversation was over, she returned the device to the pack and quickly undressed down to her undergarments. She then threw on Kankuro's clothing, ignoring the bewildered looks he was throwing her way while she adjusted the hood onto her head.

"I should have enough water to get through the day, and I know that you have more than me. Your clothing is baggy on me and the fabric is breathable, so there will be enough air flow to help keep my body cool. We'll be able to make it through ten hours if we pace ourselves well," Sakura explained, forcing herself to not look at Kankuro. Her nerves were already standing on end, her medic side screaming at her not to risk herself like this, but she had already made her decision. She didn't need to see Kankuro's expression to know that what she was about to do was dangerous.

After a long moment, Kankuro seemed to give in, knowing first-hand how stubborn Sakura could be when she had set her mind on something. He took out a scroll and summoned a third puppet, using his chakra strings to gently move the bodies into the puppets. Sakura went through a quick checklist in her head as she prepared to leave. She placed her water canisters near the side of her backpack so that she could reach it more easily while walking, then made sure that every possible inch of her skin was covered. The spots that couldn't be covered with fabric were smeared with a thick coating of sunscreen.

Once that was taken care of, she glanced around the cave one more time and then realized one thing she'd forgotten to factor in. She stared at her dirty jounin shirt laying on the cave floor, trying to figure out what she should do with it. On one hand, she knew that there was no way that she would ever rid the fabric of the smell or the memory of today, but on the other hand it wouldn't be wise to leave anything behind that could potentially be used to identify her if the culprits decided to come back for the bodies. Kankuro seemed to notice her hesitation because after a moment he began kicking his own ruined shirt toward hers until they created a small pile. When she glanced at him curiously, he just held out a match and waved her over.

Sakura took a moment to try and calm her nerves before following him to stand by the entrance. She grabbed one of the puppets by its arms and lifted it onto her back, letting the wooden arms drape over her shoulders as she held them. She knew that Kankuro could handle controlling all three puppets while they traveled, but since they were going to be traveling during the day, they both needed to conserve as much chakra and energy as possible.

Sakura kept quiet as she looked out into the seemingly endless expanse of desert they would be traversing. The sun had already risen to the point of noon, and it was hot enough that the sand appeared to shimmer in front of her. The air was completely still, and she frowned when she realized that she couldn't rely on the wind to help alleviate some of the heat.

Beside her, Kankuro struck the match against the cave wall. She heard him send out chakra strings to attach to his puppets just before throwing the match onto the small pile of clothing. The smell of burning fluids and feces began to fill the cave, causing the nausea that had somewhat subsided to flare to life again. There was no way for her to tighten the shirt around her face or mitigate any of the smell, and between that and the heat, Sakura felt herself growing light-headed.

After the shirts had burned beyond recognition, Kankuro stomped the fire out and turned to face the open expanse of desert once again. Sakura listened to him gather his breath to prepare himself for the heat they were about to endure and did the same. She breathed in deeply and willed herself to remain calm, knowing that she would need to conserve as much energy as possible if she was going to make it through the day.

Sakura and Kankuro glanced at each other one last time before they headed out, leaving the remains of their shirts behind along with their hopes of escaping the heat for the day.

*****

Sakura was almost at her limit.

She had run out of water over an hour ago and was beginning to teeter on the edge of heat exhaustion, heading toward heat stroke with every passing moment. Her thoughts were fuzzy at best, but even through the dizziness she could tell that she had almost completely stopped sweating and her breathing had sped up too much to be considered safe.

"Shit!" She cried out weakly as her leg muscles cramped suddenly, causing her to stumble forward until her knees hit the sand. She massaged the muscles gently with her chakra, soothing them enough for her to stand again, noticing in the back of her mind that Kankuro had taken the puppet she'd been carrying, but her thoughts weren't clear enough for her to really think about it. Kankuro reached a hand out toward her, which she grabbed gratefully as she pulled herself back to her feet, hissing at the pain that shot through her legs.

It took her a moment longer than it should have for her to realize that Kankuro's hand was still cool and clammy. She glanced up toward his face, noting with satisfaction that he was still sweating profusely; although he was exhibiting the symptoms of heat exhaustion, he didn't seem nearly as close to heat stroke as she felt. If things got worse and she passed out, he would likely be able to finish the journey to Suna and send someone out to get her. She just hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

"Hang in there, we're not too far now," Kankuro said, his voice sounding strangely calm as he turned back around to face the direction they were supposed to be going. She could have easily been imagining his tone of voice though, since she currently felt like everything was existing through a filter, as if there was a soft barrier between her and the rest of the world.

Still, Sakura shoved the pain in her legs to the back of her mind as she started walking once again. It was hard to keep going forward in a straight line when her perception of everything was off, but she focused as much as she could on Kankuro's back and picked herself back up every time she stumbled or swayed. The nausea twisting and turning in her stomach threatened to spill up through her mouth, but she fought it back, knowing that she needed every ounce of fluid that her body could keep right now.

Sakura continued to push forward, forcing her way through the dizziness that threatened to overtake her until finally she saw something in the distance. At first she couldn't make anything out through her bleary vision, but after a few more minutes, she began to make out shapes. There was a tall rock formation in front of her that stretched as far as she could see with what seemed like large crack stretching from the bottom almost to the top. In front of it were smaller shapes that she knew were people, but she couldn't figure out what they looked like or what they were wearing no matter how hard she tried or how close she got.

She didn’t notice when she stumbled and fell to the sand again. She just kept staring at the vague blurs of whites and reds, her hazy mind wondering why the shapes were suddenly moving. In the back of her mind she heard someone yelling her name, but it didn't fully register as she kept her eyes trained on the shapes moving toward her, trying to figure out what they were.

Sakura only realized that she was laying down when her vision became obscured by sand. She had a moment to wonder why she was there, and then suddenly she was floating in the air and all she could see was a bright shock of red that she somehow managed to recognize even through the fog that laid over her thoughts. It was the last thing she saw before she passed out.

_Gaara..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to TipsyRaconteur, k waifu, and cospitente for helping beta this. ♥ Especially cosipotente this time around for helping me with all her random dead body knowledge.
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who left a review/comment on the last chapter. It really means a lot to me, and I appreciate the feedback. ♥


	3. Alive

When Sakura came to, it wasn't immediate. It was instead a slow and vague feeling of waking up, and the first thing she noticed was that everything felt somehow wrong. She could faintly hear the sound of many hushed voices, but it was like her ears were clogged with a viscous liquid, as if the things around her weren't quite real. She tried to figure out where she was, but the last thing she remembered was being surrounded by sand that was softer than any she had ever felt before.

It felt like a fog had settled into her mind and made itself at home, because she couldn't figure out anything around her. There was another sound somewhere in the background that never seemed to stop, something other than the voices, and a feeling as if something incredibly large was on top of her and covering her entire body. She tried to lift her arm to get the heavy object off of her, but found herself unable to do anything but lift her fingers, and even that seemed to require more energy than she was able to exert.

Sakura didn't know how much time passed, but the next time she became aware of her surroundings the voices around her had changed. It seemed like there were only two voices now, and they no longer sounded far away or as if she was trapped inside of a fish bowl. She opened her eyes slowly, only to realize that her vision was fuzzy and black around the edges. She could see vague shapes and colors, but she couldn't make out any details to indicate what they were.

She shifted her eyes around slowly until they landed on an oddly familiar shade of bright red. For some reason her focus immediately gravitated toward it, until it was the only thing she could see in the entire room. There was a strange feeling in the back of her mind, as if she had seen it recently and as if it was something important. Sakura blinked a few times until her vision began to clear and sharpen, beginning at the red she was so focused on and slowly working its way out.

Once her vision cleared, her mind began to follow suit as she finally became aware of the things around her. The heaviness she'd felt on her body was a damp blanket and her body was aching desperately, especially around the bend of her arm where there was an IV inserted into her skin. There were fans pointed toward her where she lay in a bed, and she was relieved when she realized a moment later that the blanket that had been placed on top of her was cool in temperature. If it had been too cold, her body would have shivered and generated more heat; whoever had taken care of her after she'd passed out had obviously known the proper way to handle someone with heat stroke.

Sakura again focused on the red beside her, this time finding herself able to recognize it as the hair of none other than the Godaime Kazekage, Gaara. He was currently sitting in a chair beside the bed, facing away from her as he spoke quietly to the second voice from earlier. She felt a small smile tug at her lips as she let her body relax further into the bed. The fact that Gaara was beside her meant that she had made it to Suna safely after all.

"You're finally awake," a deep voice said quietly, and Sakura was able to place it as the second voice she'd heard speaking a moment ago. "How are you feeling?"

Sakura shifted her eyes to the man who had moved to stand closer to the bed. He was wearing robes that Sakura vaguely recognized as Suna's medic robes from when she'd worked with them before, but he had no headband which likely meant that he was a civilian doctor. He had dark violet eyes that were currently moving across her face as if studying her, and Sakura knew that he was likely looking for any visible sign that she hadn't recovered from the heat stroke.

Sakura licked her lips and opened her mouth to reply, noticing immediately that she could feel the saliva that now coated her lips. The fact that her body was generating saliva again meant that she wasn't too badly dehydrated anymore.

"My body is sore, but I'll be fine," Sakura replied. The doctor immediately slumped his shoulders and let out a sigh of relief. Sakura wondered for a moment how she got here, but then realized that Kankuro had probably carried her the rest of the way. "What about Kankuro? Is he okay?"

"He'll be fine," The doctor grinned, and Sakura noticed the faint twinkle of what looked like amusement in his eyes. "He's in his room recovering, but he'll be back to normal by tomorrow. _You_ , however, should probably rest in bed for at least two days to be safe. You very nearly had to deal with damage to your organs because of the heat stroke."

Sakura nodded her head slowly as she shifted in bed to get more comfortable. Knowing that Kankuro was going to be alright lifted a huge weight off of her shoulders, and she was grateful that neither of them had been caught in the desert long enough to suffer permanent damage. It had been a huge risk to travel during the day in the height of summer, and they were lucky that nothing worse had happened.

"What about--" Sakura began as she remembered the reason they had traveled during the day to begin with, but she stopped herself before she could reveal any potentially sensitive information. Her eyes glanced hesitantly over to Gaara, who was shaking his head slowly as if telling her not to speak. Sakura shrank further into the covers. She hadn't even technically started her mission, and she'd already almost messed up.

Gaara placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder and narrowed his eyes slightly. Sakura watched as the doctor turned toward him and nodded; she found it kind of fascinating how Gaara seemed to be able to speak volumes without actually speaking at all.

"Please call on me if you require my services again, Kazekage-sama," The doctor spoke, his voice serious and respectful as he bowed before turning to leave the room.

As the door closed, Sakura became aware of just how quiet the room was without the doctor speaking. The only sound she could hear now was the soft hum of the fans, but she found that the silence somehow wasn't uncomfortable. It was a little awkward, sure, but for some reason Sakura didn't feel the need to fill it. 

Instead, she closed her eyes and focused on trying to feel her body, examining it as much as she could without actually using chakra. She was still dehydrated, but that much was to be expected. The muscles in her legs were especially strained because of how far she'd pushed herself even after losing so much water, but she was relieved when she tried to feel her internal organs and noticed that there didn't seem to be any permanent damage.

"Thank you."

The quiet voice brought her attention back to the world around her. Sakura opened her eyes and glanced over at Gaara curiously, finding the lack of expression on his face a little unnerving. It made her doubt if she'd really heard him speak, or if she had somehow imagined it, but then he cleared his throat and fixed his eyes on her more seriously, and she knew she hadn't hallucinated.

"Thank you for helping bring our people home, Sakura-san. I'm sorry that you had to risk yourself to do so."

Sakura felt the smile curling at the edges of her lips and turned onto her side so that she could see him better without having her neck at such an odd angle. It was difficult to do and even slight movements hurt, but once she’d finally found a comfortable position, the lack of strain on her neck was worth it.

"It's the least I could do, Gaa-," Sakura started, but quickly cut herself off. "I mean, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara grimaced so slightly that Sakura was surprised she caught it. She felt her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she tried to figure out his reaction. Her mind flashed back to when Kakashi had reacted the same way to Kankuro calling him by his official title just days ago. She wondered if maybe Gaara also didn't like people using his Kage title, but she decided not to push the matter. 

"Can I know what happened to the people we brought back?" Sakura asked.

"We informed their families once they were properly identified," Gaara spoke softly, his eyes closing for a moment in a slow blink before they fixed on her once again. "Kankuro said that you used chakra to close their eyes. It seemed to make the situation easier on their families."

Sakura smiled sadly and looked away, letting her eyes focus on one of the fans that was resting on a table not too far from where Gaara sat. "I have a lot of experience with breaking bad news to people because of my position in the hospital back home. It always seemed to help a little bit when their loved one's eyes were closed. I figured it would have a similar effect here."

"I wonder why that is," Gaara murmured. Sakura only shrugged in response, that one motion setting off pain in her muscles that reminded her of how much her body ached in that moment. Normally she would have healed the muscles by now, but this conversation made her want to keep the pain just a little bit longer. It was inconvenient, but it was also a sign that she was still alive. The people she'd helped bring back to Suna hadn't been so lucky.

"There's a saying in Konoha. It says that the eyes are the window to the soul," Sakura said softly. "There's so much that you can understand about someone's personality and emotions just by looking into their eyes. When someone passes on, their eyes are one of the first things to change. They slowly lose their color and their shine... They lose their life."

Gaara hummed in acknowledgement, nodding his head once. Sakura waited for more of a response, but he didn't say anything else and the room soon fell into awkward yet comfortable silence once again.

Sakura closed her eyes and curled into the covers, letting her mind go over everything that had happened recently. Just a few days ago, the only thing she'd been worried about had been the mud caked onto her body and having to clean her bathroom after the mud was finally gone. Now, she was laying in a bed in Suna with the Kazekage beside her after she'd passed out from heat stroke. The only reason she was in Suna to begin with was because she was supposed to try and catch the person who'd been murdering their medic-nins. So much had changed, and it hadn't even been a week.

Suddenly, a loud knock sounded throughout the room, breaking the silence and making Sakura jump slightly. She scowled, knowing that she should never let herself be caught off guard. From the corner of her eyes she thought she saw a flicker of amusement pass through Gaara's eyes, but it was gone before she had the chance to really see it. Maybe she'd imagined it.

Gaara stood from his chair, and Sakura watched as he seemed to float toward the door that the doctor had disappeared from earlier. He moved with a sense of poise and grace that she knew she could never replicate without years of practice.

"Kazekage-sama, you're needed in the office," Someone spoke in a hushed whisper, so quietly that Sakura almost didn't catch it.

Gaara nodded his head once and turned back to Sakura. He watched her quietly for a moment, his gaze unwavering and eerily calm. So far, every emotion she thought she'd seen on his face had been so small and slight that she easily could have been mistaken. It was going to be hard to get used to his lack of expression, especially since she was used to Naruto and his overabundance of just about every emotion possible.

"I will send someone to check in with you soon. Would you like them to bring food?"

At the mention of food, Sakura felt her stomach grumble. She nodded her head immediately, smiling sheepishly as Gaara continued to just watch her quietly. "Something cold and not spicy, if it's at all possible, please."

Gaara nodded his head once in acknowledgement before turning and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him quietly. Sakura heard voices on the other side of the door for only a few seconds longer before the sounds disappeared.

The silence that had been comfortable before was all of a sudden almost deafening as she was left with nothing but the sound of fans humming softly and her own thoughts. She glanced around the room and immediately she could tell that she wasn't in Konoha anymore. She had known it before, logically at least, but being able to visibly notice the difference made it more apparent.

Most of Konoha always seemed to be decorated to reflect the vibrant and earthy feeling that emanated throughout the entire village. There were bright colors and lighter woods everywhere, as well as indoor plants in almost every room. This room, however, was filled with muted yellows and deep reds. The wood was a deeper hue with a red undertone, and there wasn't a single plant in sight. If Konoha was full of energy, then Suna was quiet and serene. It almost felt like another world.

As Sakura glanced around the room, she realized for the first time that this seemed like someone's personal bedroom. She wondered whose it was for a moment, before her thoughts shifted and she wondered where she would be staying while she was here. She knew that villages usually offered hotel rooms for longer missions, but there was no way of knowing how long she would be in Suna this time. It could be weeks, or it could be months. If the mission took longer to complete than that, she could even be here for years. For the foreseeable future, Suna was going to be her home.

Sakura frowned as she realized for the first time what she'd really gotten herself into. She had only been concerned with helping them out before and hadn't stopped to think about what would happen if she was there longer than a few months. Would she ever see her friends again? What about her parents?

Before her thoughts could spiral downward any more, Sakura quickly shook her head to get rid of them, wincing at the pain that immediately spread through her neck and her shoulders. If she didn't want to be in Suna for the rest of her life, all she had to do was complete the mission and return home. There was no point in worrying about anything else right now.

When she'd calmed herself down a little bit, Sakura took in a deep breath and felt herself begin to yawn. Her thoughts shifted to Gaara for a moment as she wondered why he'd been by her side, and why she had felt so comfortable around him. Logically she knew that he'd probably been there in case something happened, given the current situation with medics in Suna, but she couldn't quite figure out the answer to the second question. 

Her mind shifted through various thoughts as she laid there, but before long the soothing hum of the fans helped her body give way to the exhaustion that had settled in her bones like an old friend. She tried to fight it, but it was too tough of an opponent and before she knew it, she'd fallen back to sleep.

*****

"So, how does it feel to finally be outside again?" Kankuro asked, not even bothering to try and hide the playful lilt to his voice.

Sakura only scowled in response as she felt the heat pressing down on her uncomfortably. The weather in Suna was a completely different beast from that of Konoha summers, and while she knew she should be grateful for the lack of suffocating humidity, it was just so _hot_. The fact that she was still technically recovering from heat stroke probably didn't help.

Several days had passed since she'd woken up in Suna, and she'd finally been given permission from the doctors to officially start her mission. Sakura adjusted her new uniform, grateful for the fact that the fabric was a lot more breathable than her Konoha uniform had been, and adjusted the ribbon she'd tied on her head where her Konoha headband had always been. She'd been given a Suna headband to help her blend in, but she'd decided to keep it in her hip pouch unless she really needed it. No one really wore their headbands after the war unless they were still Genin, anyway.

"Why did we wait until it was this late in the day to leave, again?" Sakura questioned as she glanced up at the sky, which had darkened and started to bleed red as the sun began to set.

"Unless there's a foreign diplomat visiting or something, Gaara usually works through the night. That's when businesses here open, too, especially during the summer. The days can be kind of brutal."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed," Sakura replied, making sure to pour as much sarcasm into her tone as she possibly could. She heard Kankuro snort with laughter and she grinned. If she was going to pass out from heat stroke, the very least she could do was joke about it afterwards.

"Gaara's Anbu will protect him while he's in his office during the week, and his other personal guard will be in charge of protecting him during patrols most weekends. For the most part you'll only be expected to guard him during the day time, so you're free to work on the poison at night or explore the village to try and gather information," Kankuro said, his pace quickening as they began to near the center of the village. "Well, Gaara will explain everything in more detail tonight."

Sakura tilted her head to the side curiously as she watched Kankuro, who had a sly grin tugging at the edge of his lips. She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, but before she had a chance to speak, she heard someone speak from nearby in a calm and even tone that she recognized easily from only a few days ago. Her eyes glanced toward the voice, only to realize belatedly that Kankuro had lead her directly to the center of the village, right outside of the Kazekage tower.

"Haruno-san."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: All of my chapter titles are going to be named after songs by Kpop artists since it's what I listen to 90% of the time when I write. The other 10% is made up of Jrock and silence.  
> Thanks as always to the lovely TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing and cheering me on, and thank you to everyone who has been leaving reviews. I really appreciate them. ♥


	4. Wind

"Haruno-san."

Sakura's eyes fell to the two men who were standing in front of the Kazekage tower, immediately recognizing the voice that had spoken as Gaara. She smiled at him even as she felt her eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion. She could have sworn that during their conversation a few days ago, he'd called her by her first name. Sakura glanced at the man standing beside him, taking in the way his eyes seemed to glare at her as if wondering how big of a threat she was.

"Kazekage-sama," Sakura said softly as she bowed. She found herself fighting back a smirk of satisfaction when she stood straight and noticed the way that Gaara nodded slightly. She had guessed correctly; he was keeping up appearances while in public.

"Are you sure she can be trusted, Kazekage-sama?" The man beside Gaara asked, his voice low but not quite low enough for Sakura not to hear him. She bit back a scowl and looked him up and down, wondering if maybe this man was Gaara's main personal guard. He was tall and well built with light brown hair and slightly tanned skin. His face was surprisingly asymmetrical, with half of his face appearing open and boyish while the other half was more pinched and serious-looking. When he turned his head to the side to whisper something into Gaara’s ear, Sakura found herself thinking that he would probably look like a completely different person if he'd turned the other direction.

"Thank you, Shin," Gaara said quietly as he nodded his head. 

Sakura watched as the tall man, who was apparently named Shin, turned to leave without saying another word. Kankuro quickly ran after him, yelling something Sakura couldn't quite make out, but when the other man didn't stop, Kankuro took his hands out of his pockets and shot out a few chakra strings. He attached them to Shin, making Sakura snicker as Gaara’s personal guard quickly stopped moving and started yelling obscenities at Kankuro for using his chakra strings to control people.

Sakura was wondering how many times Kankuro had used his strings to stop people from running away, when the sound of Gaara clearing his throat brought her attention back to the present. She glanced over at him, only to belatedly realize that they were now alone.

"I trust that Kankuro explained what we’re doing today?" Gaara asked, sighing slightly when Sakura immediately shook her head no. "I would like to give you a tour of the village."

For a moment, Sakura considered telling him that a tour wasn't necessary. It wasn't her first visit to Suna, and she remembered the village's layout being relatively easy to figure out. 

Still, she was supposed to be gathering information, and it would be a lot easier to do that if she knew where everything was and could blend in with the locals. If she had to figure out where everything was on her own, she would no doubt look like a tourist and have people questioning whether or not she belonged, which defeated the purpose of trying to blend in as a Suna-nin. She got the feeling that most people would be unwilling to talk about things like their village's medics being murdered with someone they didn't feel like they knew.

"I'd like that very much," Sakura responded. She noticed that there was the vaguest of smiles on Gaara's lips, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. She wondered if that was the extent of how Gaara showed emotion, in bits and pieces for brief and fleeting moments. At this point, she hadn't seen anything to convince her otherwise, but she found it intriguing. None of the people around her expressed their emotions like this, and she found herself thinking that his reactions were kind of refreshing. He wasn’t loud and boisterous like Naruto, or blunt and hard to understand like Sai. Gaara managed to show his emotions and thoughts, however brief they were, and seemed to always have a comfortable and respectful air about him.

Gaara turned and began walking down a small side street, and Sakura quickly caught up so that she could fall into step beside him. As they traveled the streets quietly, Sakura noticed all of the villagers who seemed to smile when they realized he was there. Some of them waved at him or called out to him, and he answered each person with a small nod.

Seeing Gaara like this was so strange when she thought about what he'd been like when they'd first met ten years ago. If anyone had told her back then that the bloodthirsty Suna-nin that everyone, even his own siblings, was afraid of, would one day become a beloved and respected leader of his village, she would have probably laughed. Then again, she never would have expected her lazy pervert of a teacher to become Hokage, and she never expected for Naruto to become someone who the entire village of Konoha loved and relied on, either. It was crazy how much time could change things. She was no exception.

As they walked through the darkening streets of Suna, Gaara made a point to show her a few locations that would be important for her to know, along with any nearby landmarks that could help her distinguish one road from another. He showed her how to get to the hospital and research labs first, and after that he took her to the road that lead to the training grounds. He paused at the end of the road, his calm and unreadable face taking on a thoughtful expression for a split second before he spoke.

“Our training grounds aren’t nearly as interesting as the ones in Konoha, but that’s to be expected. We have very few choices of terrain to work with, so it’s mostly just sand and rock,” Gaara explained.

Sakura tilted her head to the side as she watched Gaara, wondering why his voice sounded almost hesitant. Everything he’d said was pretty obvious and something she could have easily guessed… Unless that was the point. Was he trying to make a joke?

Sakura couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea of Gaara trying to make a joke with such a serious expression, but when he responded with a small pleased smile, she felt the laughter fall away as surprise took its place. She gaped at him slightly, unable to hide her bewilderment even after he’d turned and begun to walk away. Was this really the same socially awkward man she’d met ten years ago?

When Sakura realized that he’d turned onto another street out of sight, she forced herself to snap out of her temporary stupor to catch up to him. Gaara lead her through the district full of civilian businesses, and then into the section designated for ninja shops. He let her know that if she wanted to buy anything from any of the stores containing weapons or scrolls, the only thing she needed besides money was the headband they'd given her. The Suna headband worked as another form of identification here. It was something that let people know you could be trusted.

The next area they wandered through was the pub district, and although Sakura didn't have much interest in drinking, she knew that it might be necessary later for gathering information. She tried to remember which ones seemed the most seedy, as they usually had the best leads, but they left the area too fast for her to remember the names of the more promising bars.

Sakura opened her mouth to ask if they could go back for a moment, but before the words left her lips she noticed something she hadn't realized before. The smells in the air had changed into something positively delicious, something both savory and sweet, and suddenly her stomach let out a loud growl as she remembered she hadn't eaten yet today.

Sakura felt her face flush as she looked up at Gaara, who was watching her curiously, and the only thing she could think to do was offer him an embarrassed smile. He looked away and quickly stepped backward a few paces before turning down a road they'd passed just moments ago. 

Sakura blinked in confusion before falling into step beside him once again. They traveled straight down the road, and she felt her stomach rumbling again as the smells around them grew stronger with every passing second. She kept her eyes on the buildings around them to keep track of their location from the various identifying markers hanging from the adobe walls that were designed to keep travelers from getting lost.

They turned another corner, and the sight that suddenly appeared in front of her was enough to take her breath away. They'd stepped into a large circular courtyard that shone brightly despite the dark night sky. There were lanterns of every color imaginable dangling from strings that stretched between the surrounding buildings. No two lanterns looked the same; some were in the shape of flowers, others in the shape of animals, and the bright light they emitted was such a perfect contrast to the sky that she couldn't help but smile. It was beautiful.

In the center of the courtyard was a tall circular building with several floors, each one set with a single large window that circled almost the entire level of the structure. Each floor was filled with tables and chairs, where it seemed like most of Suna had gathered to eat together.

Sakura forced her eyes away from the lanterns and center building to glance around the rest of the courtyard, only to realize that the area was filled with more outdoor food vendors than she could count. Gaara had heard her stomach grumble and, without a word, taken her to the food court. She turned her head to thank him, but at some point when she'd been entranced by the lanterns, he'd disappeared.

Sakura inwardly cursed at herself for losing sight of Gaara, and was preparing to go look for him when the sound of a throat being cleared came from behind her. Sakura whipped her head around, gaping slightly when she saw Gaara standing there, his Kazekage hat tipped back a little to show his face better. She watched him curiously, and then glanced down when she noticed one of his hands moving closer to her. Clasped in his fist were three skewers, each with a different type of food on them. 

Gaara had seemingly left her to gaze at the lanterns while he went to get food, and had returned with yakitori, grilled squid, and sausage. Sakura stood there, unsure of what to do with the hand that was being offered to her, blinking at him with surprise when he took another step closer to her and held the food directly in her line of sight.

Sakura reached out hesitantly, hovering over the skewer with the yakitori for a moment before taking it. Gaara pulled his arm back and began to eat from one of the skewers in his other hand.

"Thank you," Sakura said quietly, taking a small bite of the food and finding herself amazed at how _good_ it was. She’d never had yakitori that was this juicy or full of flavor before. She took another bite and bounced happily, barely catching the faint smile that quirked at the edge of Gaara's lips before he turned and began walking in the direction they had come from.

Sakura followed silently, chewing on the yakitori as she walked. Almost as soon as she’d finished it, Gaara held out the skewer with the grilled squid, and then the skewer with the sausage once she’d finished eating the squid. For a brief moment, Sakura wondered if Gaara had eyes in the back of his head that let him watch her, but then she remembered hearing about his Third Eye technique and decided she'd rather not know the details about why he seemed to know these things.

When they turned the next corner, Sakura immediately noticed the shift in the air that came with the quiet that had begun to surround them. They'd entered what seemed like a residential district, and even though she knew that the residents were probably all out because the sun had set long ago, it was still unsettling to see the streets darker than any of the ones they'd traveled down so far.

The strange feeling only grew as they continued through the empty street. Sakura had a vague feeling in the back of her mind like she'd been here before, but she couldn't quite figure out when, or why she recognized it. She kept her eyes peeled for any signs of movement and kept her fingers by her kunai holster just in case the strange feeling was actually of them being watched. It was possible that she was just imagining it, but trusting her instincts had kept her alive thus far, and she wasn’t willing to relax completely just yet.

After walking a little while longer, they seemed to reach their destination. They’d stopped in front of the largest building in the area, and it was also the only one with a fence around it. Sakura watched as Gaara pushed some chakra into a seal on the front door, barely hearing the quiet click that sounded from a mechanism in the door just before it opened slowly. Gaara stepped to the side to let her enter first, which she did with a small bow and a whisper of thanks.

When Sakura stepped inside of the building, the first thing she noticed was the large twin wooden staircases that seemed to hug the walls on either side of her and then met in the center where the second floor began. The staircases were made of a dark red wood, similar to the furniture she'd seen in the room she'd recovered in, and it was covered in small and intricate carvings. She was so entranced that she barely noticed when Gaara took the empty skewers from her hand and tossed them in a nearby trash can.

"Add your chakra to the seal while it's still active," Gaara said quietly from behind her.

Sakura nodded and turned to step toward the seal, watching the glowing red markings that were beginning to fade slightly. She pressed a little bit of her chakra into it, watching curiously as it flared to life for a moment in a shade of pink identical to her hair color before it stopped glowing completely.

Gaara closed the door behind them and began walking further into the building. Sakura followed him silently through the strangely familiar hallway, letting her eyes graze over each painting that hung on the walls as they moved. Most of the paintings had some depiction of the desert; there were some of the desert sunset, others of flourishing cacti, and many of the seemingly endless expanse of sand.

Sakura let her eyes linger on the painting depicting one of Suna’s rare rainstorms before turning her gaze forward again. They continued a few more paces in silence until they passed through an engraved archway to step into a large living room. There were two sofas and one chair situated around a low coffee table that seemed to be made of the same wood as the staircase. The color scheme was full of the same deep reds and muted yellows that she had already started getting used to, and the desert themed paintings continued to line the walls here as well. 

After a few moments, Gaara moved to seat himself on one of the sofas, gesturing with a single hand motion for Sakura to take the seat opposite of him. She followed his lead and sat down, but continued to let her eyes roam around the room.

“I’d like to go over the mission details now, if you’re alright with that,” Gaara said, his voice calm yet authoritative. It was the same tone Sakura had heard him use when he’d visited Konoha on Kage business. She nodded her head and straightened her shoulders, barely noticing the hint of amusement in his eyes before his expression returned to business mode.

“While in Suna, you will be staying here in the Kazekage residence with me. Your primary mission will be to help solve the murders, not to act as my personal guard. You’re free to help with the poison research or collect information, and I’ll leave which one you choose to do each day to your own discretion. You may also take free time whenever you wish.”

“Wait, did you say this is the Kazekage residence?” Sakura balked, turning to look around the room again when Gaara merely nodded his head in response. Now that she knew this was the Kazekage residence, it made sense why everything about the room and the staircase in the foyer seemed so luxe. She’d expected to be staying in a hotel, but the longer she thought about it, the more logical it seemed for her to stay here instead. She’d be closer to the person she was supposed to protect, and there was no way of knowing how long she’d be in Suna.

Sakura turned back to Gaara and bit the inside of her lip as she let the rest of his words roll around in her mind. Learning that her primary role was to work on the poison and try to figure out what was going on wasn't too surprising. What _was_ surprising was the last bit about being able to take free time whenever she wanted. She’d never been given this much freedom to decide her own actions to this degree while on a mission. Gaara was giving her complete control over her schedule, even if her actions had nothing to do with the mission. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking. 

“What if I chose to take every day as free time?” Sakura asked.

Gaara didn’t reply, and instead just watched her closely. Sakura fought back the urge to squirm under such an intense gaze, and the only thing that kept her from looking away was her curiosity. There was a look in his eyes that said he knew she wouldn’t do that.

“Your main responsibility while in the residence will be setting up hidden seals in your bedroom here that will alert you and wake you if anyone with unauthorized chakra enters the building. We will rest here while the sun is out and leave just before dusk every day. If the schedule changes, I will try to inform you as soon as possible,” Gaara continued easily, his tone of voice leaving no room for her to ask why he'd ignored her previous question.

“Seals aren’t my area of expertise, though,” Sakura replied. Seals were one of her weaker areas, and she'd only learned a few basic seals from Shizune a few years ago.

“Kakashi-san assured me that you would be able to create a sufficient seal if the task was simple enough.”

Sakura scowled, wanting to argue and say that her seals were better than what Kakashi had lead on, but it had been years since she’d properly practiced creating new seals and she wasn’t sure if she could handle anything complicated, so she kept her argument to herself.

“Dawn is approaching,” Gaara said quietly. Sakura turned to face the window behind the sofa she was seated at and noticed that the darkness that had surrounded them earlier was indeed beginning to fade. “I’ll show you to your room so you can set up the seals before day breaks.”

When Sakura turned to face Gaara again, he had already begun moving toward the hallway they’d taken to get to the living room. Sakura stood and hurried to catch up to him, keeping silent until they reached the foyer by the front door. She followed him up the large ornate stairs she'd noticed earlier, then again when they turned into another hallway.

Sakura again let her eyes lazily glance over the decorations on the walls, but there were no paintings of sand this time. Instead, the walls were mostly bare except for a few scattered picture frames. Sakura continued to walk forward, but as she looked closer she realized that most of the picture frames were completely empty.

She wasn't sure why the sight of so many empty picture frames made a shudder run down her spine, but there was something so inherently disturbing about it. It gave off a cold and empty feeling, as if the people whose pictures should have been in the pictures frames were no longer wanted. 

They turned down another hallway, and Sakura felt the creepy feeling from earlier begin to fade away almost immediately. There was a warmer energy here, as if this area was one where people actually lived. Once they'd traveled further down the hallway, Sakura caught something out of the corner of her eyes that confirmed why the feeling here was so different from the energy from before.

There were picture frames on these walls as well, but unlike the ones before, these actually had photographs in them. The first photograph she noticed was of Gaara and his siblings standing by the Kazekage tower with Gaara wearing his official robes looking embarrassed. Sakura smiled and let her eyes study each photograph she passed. Photographs of just Kankuro and Temari, one of Naruto and Hinata from their wedding, another with the guard she'd seen earlier, Shin, with a woman who looked a bit like Temari. The rest were of various people and faces she'd never met, but the one thing that was the same in every picture was that everyone was smiling.

The last photograph on the wall made Sakura stop in her tracks. It was a picture of Chiyo standing beside her brother, Ebizo. She looked younger than Sakura remembered, and her face was set in a familiar grumpy expression that caused a sad smile to pull at Sakura's lips. She would have to find time to pay her respects while she was here in Suna.

After realizing that Gaara had moved a good distance down the hall without her, Sakura forcibly pulled herself away from her thoughts. She ducked her head, embarrassed that she'd let herself get so distracted, and moved to where Gaara stood in front of a set of simple doors. They were spaced far enough apart that Sakura wondered if they were two separate rooms, but before she could ask, Gaara had opened the one on the left and she immediately lost her words.

The first thing she noticed was that the color scheme was different from everything she had seen in Suna thus far. Instead of muted yellows and deep reds, everything seemed to be decorated with bright and earthy shades that should have seemed out of place against the dark wood but didn't. The sheets on the bed were a beautiful shade of green that immediately reminded her of Konoha’s leaves, and the drapes and small sofa were made of a soft blue fabric that gave off the same calm feeling as the large lakes back home. Her backpack had already been brought to the room at some point and was resting at the foot of the bed.

Sakura walked further into the room, immediately noticing the coffee pot resting on a small table near another door which lead to a private bathroom. If she was going to have to get used to being awake at night for the duration of her stay in Suna, she was definitely going to need the caffeine for the first few weeks at least, so she was grateful that they'd thought to include it in her room.

When she turned to face the windows so that she could begin figuring out what kind of seal to use, she noticed something she hadn't caught earlier. Resting between two large windows was a glass door that seemed to lead out to a balcony. As if sensing where her attention was, Gaara chose that moment to step into the room beside her.

"The balcony is attached to the room I will be using while you're in Suna." Gaara's voice was calm and even, as if the idea of sleeping so close to her didn't phase him at all. Sakura blinked at him owlishly, unable to keep the surprise from showing on her face. "In the case of an emergency, it would be best if we could reach each other quickly."

Sakura thought about his words, realizing that having their rooms so closely connected really would help in the event that something went terribly wrong. It'd be hard to defend him quickly if they were even a few minutes from each other, and with the poison being so strong, she was glad that she would be close by in case he was attacked and she had to extract it.

Sakura nodded her head in understanding and then moved toward the balcony, stepping onto it and taking a moment to look out over the village. She knew that it was going to take her a while to get used to waking up in a village other than Konoha, but the view from her room might help make the transition easier. Suna just before sunrise was absolutely beautiful.

After letting herself linger for a moment longer, Sakura turned to the windows so that she could begin to formulate a plan. She moved to the glass door that lead to Gaara's room to make sure it had the same type of lock as the door to her room, and felt herself frown as her eyes caught sight of the bed through a small gap in the curtains. 

The sense of deja vu that had been so strong while she'd traveled through the street earlier returned. There was something about the bed, and specifically the pattern of the blanket, that was sending the neurons in her hippocampus into overdrive, but no matter how long she looked, she just couldn't figure out _why_ it felt so familiar.

Growing frustrated at her inability to figure out what it reminded her of, Sakura forced her curiosity to the side for the time being. She had a limited amount of time before the sun rose, and she knew that she needed to focus on the task at hand. Luckily, the windows and doors had the same type of simple locks, so it wouldn't be too hard to create a basic seal that allowed only her and Gaara to open them.

Once she'd decided on the type of seal to make, Sakura moved back into her room and began rummaging through her backpack for the seal paper she'd been told to bring with her. She tried to keep her focus, but she couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of familiarity that had been clinging to her since before they stepped foot into the residence.

"Is something wrong?"

Sakura whipped her head to where Gaara stood by the door. She opened her mouth to tell him that nothing was wrong, but the concern she'd heard in his voice made her stop before the words left her lips. 

"I just... I have this strange feeling like I've been here before, and I don't know why," Sakura said quietly, hiding behind her hair as she continued to move things around in her backpack until she finally found the seal paper.

She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but it felt like several minutes had passed and Gaara still hadn't said anything in response. Sakura looked up, half expecting for him to have left the room by how silent he was, but he was still standing by the door with a contemplative look on his face. Then, suddenly, he turned to leave the room.

"Follow me."

Sakura stared at the doorway Gaara had disappeared from with a dumbfounded expression for a long moment, before shoving the seal paper under the bed and moving quickly to follow him. She passed a set of stairs that lead down as she quickened her pace, until she finally caught up to him in front of a large door at the very end of the hall. Gaara glanced at her once, and then reached forward and opened the door without saying anything else.

Sakura felt the nerves that had been running under her skin suddenly falter as she looked past the door and realized that the door just lead to another bedroom. It was a very large bedroom even compared to the room she would be staying in, sure, but there wasn't anything really special about it when she considered that all of the furniture in the Kazekage residence was beautiful.

Still, the longer she looked into the room, the more she felt like she had almost definitely seen it before. She glanced around at all of the furniture, from the large mirror hanging on the wall to the bed which didn't have any sheets. There was a bookshelf near the corner of the room, and beside it were several fans lined up against the wall.

Her brows furrowed in confusion as she stared at the fans, feeling the memories begin to come back slowly, and then everything clicked. This was the room she'd recovered in. The entire time, she had been recovering from heat stroke in the Kazekage residence.

Sakura felt the bewilderment grow as she turned to look at Gaara, her mouth opening and closing as she tried and failed to put the questions swimming in her mind into words. How had she only vaguely recognized the things around her until now? She hadn't left the room while she'd recovered, but she should have remembered the picture frames on the walls or the large staircase at least, right?

"Kankuro must have had you leave from the back door earlier," Gaara said, watching her for a moment longer before closing the door to the large room and turning to begin walking in the direction of their linked bedrooms again.

Sakura followed him silently, this time noticing the stairs they passed and recognizing it immediately. She'd figured out the cause of the strange feeling she'd been having, but with that realization came more questions.

Why was Gaara using the room with the attached balcony, when this room was so much larger and obviously intended to be the Kazekage's bedroom? She knew that it made sense for them to be close, but this small distance wouldn't make much of a difference in the long run. Had he been using the room with the balcony already before she arrived? 

The longer she thought about it, the more her curiosity continued to grow. Nothing about this made sense.

Then she remembered the sheets that had been in Gaara's room, the ones she'd seen through the curtains and recognized from somewhere, and realized why she'd recognized them. They were slightly different, but had the same pattern as the sheets she'd been using while she recovered.

Maybe Gaara _had_ been staying in the larger room before she arrived. Maybe he had let her recover from the heat stroke in his room. 

Sakura felt her eyes fix on the bright red hair in front of her. It had been the last thing she'd seen before passing out in the desert, and the first thing she'd seen when she'd woken up. She'd left Konoha less than a week ago, and already Gaara had saved her life and watched over her. Maybe the reason he'd let her stay in his room was to make sure that she was somewhere he knew she would be safe.

Before she’d left Konoha, Sakura had been sure that Gaara didn’t trust her. Even though she had helped save Kankuro before, ninja as a whole tended to be distrustful of almost everyone, and Gaara had more reason than most to be wary of people’s hidden intentions. Still, he’d let her recover in his personal bedroom and had decided to have her stay in a room that was directly connected to his. Maybe Kankuro was right--maybe Gaara _did_ trust her.

“I’ll be resting in my room if you have any questions or need assistance with the seals.”

“Thank you,” Sakura whispered, feeling a smile pull at her lips as she watched Gaara stop in front of the door to his room and turn toward her once again. He didn’t say anything in response and instead offered her a small smile, nodding his head slightly before opening the door to his room and disappearing.

Sakura let her eyes linger on the closed door where Gaara had disappeared before reaching into her hip pouch and grabbing a hair tie. She pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail and dragged the seal paper from underneath the bed so that she could get to work creating the seals. Her thoughts shifted into focus as she drew one seal after another, pushing chakra into each one before linking them together, the smile never leaving her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I let my beloved cosipotente create Shin's physical appearance as thanks for all of the help she's given me while writing this story, so I have some reference pics! [This](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/409149128430321674/495008287394365440/C_8_sBQUwAA2GIw.jpg) is more or less what he looks like, and [this](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/409149128430321674/495007759423766529/tumblr_inline_p8itx8yriN1umgpey_1280.jpg) is what I mean by the asymmetrical face. Yes, that is the same guy in the same frame. 
> 
> Okay, now that I have that out, I want to say thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for always helping me out. ♥ Also thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! Reading your comments honestly makes my days so much better and I really appreciate them ♥


	5. Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I originally began posting this, I was planning on updating once every 2 weeks starting with this chapter. However, I just finished writing chapter 9 and so I’ve decided to keep posting once a week. 
> 
> If this changes for any reason, I will give plenty of notice on my writing tumblr ([nyxako-writing](https://nyxako-writing.tumblr.com)).  
> And as always, eternal thanks to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing and cheerleading. I love you guys.

When Sakura woke the next day, the first thing she noticed was that her head felt as if it was stuffed with cotton balls. Her body ached in a way that only exhaustion could cause, and she would have tried to figure out why she'd woken up if her body hadn't been silently pleading with her to go back to sleep.

Just as she nuzzled her pillow with the intention of sleeping a bit longer, a knock sounded from across the room. She let her eyes crack open blearily and glared at the door to her bedroom until the knocking finally stopped.

She hadn't been able to fall asleep until late afternoon, because setting up the seals had taken longer than she'd expected. She'd had to make enough seals for every door and window in the residence, and then had had to link them either to the ones in her room that only allowed her or Gaara to pass, or to the one attached to the front door that let more people through, based on who would be allowed access to each area. It had been exhausting.

There was another knock on the door, and Sakura let out a groan loud enough that they would hopefully hear her. She couldn't muster up the energy to speak just yet. The knocking stopped almost immediately, and after a pause she heard a voice from the other side of the door that she recognized easily as Gaara.

"Sakura-san, breakfast is being prepared. I'll return in thirty minutes if you would like to join me, but please sleep more if you need to."

"Okay," Sakura called back, knowing that the word was barely discernible and instead just sounded like another groan, but she was hoping he would understand anyway. After a moment of silence, she vaguely heard the sound of footsteps walking away from the room.

Sakura rolled over in bed a few times until she'd moved around enough to feel slightly awake, and then sat up and pressed her face into her hands. A yawn escaped her lips as she pushed her chest out to crack her back, belatedly realizing that Gaara's footsteps being loud enough for her to hear had probably been intentional on his part. Most ninja just didn't make audible footsteps without trying.

After moving around a bit more to wake up, Sakura rolled out of bed and grabbed a change of clothes before moving to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day.

_Or should that be 'ready for the night'?_ Sakura wondered to herself, frowning as she glanced out of the window at the slowly setting sun. It was going to take a long time to get used to waking up and having breakfast just before the sun went down.

By the time Gaara returned and knocked on the door, Sakura had finally started to feel a little more alive. She quickly wrapped her thigh with bindings over her pants, slipping the kunai holster through the bindings before sealing them together with chakra to keep them in place. After a quick check in the mirror to make sure her hair was behaving, she walked over and opened the door.

"Good morning," Sakura said, smiling at Gaara politely before slipping into the hallway, shutting the door behind her and pushing her chakra into the seal to lock it. Gaara simply nodded his head in response before leading her through the hallway and down the large staircase. They walked past the living room and through an archway that she hadn't noticed the night before, which lead to a large yet somehow cozy dining room. There were three meals already set and prepared on either side of the table, and Sakura felt her stomach begin to growl when the pleasant smells hit her.

“Why do you _always_ take so long to get ready, Sakura?”

Sakura let her gaze fall to Kankuro and made a show of rolling her eyes at him to match the playful smirk on his lips. When he pulled out the chair next to him and motioned her closer, she smiled at him before sitting down in the offered seat, which left Gaara with the seat across from them. 

After saying a quick thanks for the meal, Sakura picked up the small bowl of miso soup and took a sip, humming happily as she felt the warmth begin to spread through her. It had been years since she’d had homemade miso soup that was this good; the tamagoyaki and the rice with seaweed that accompanied the soup looked equally delicious. 

Sakura lifted her eyes to find Gaara eating his rice silently, looking as calm as ever. She then glanced at Kankuro, who was the polar opposite of calm and was quickly devouring the rice that had been left in a larger bowl for him. Sakura watched him for a moment and then tilted her head to the side as she realized that she hadn't seen or heard him at all when she’d been setting up the seals. 

"Do you live in the residence, too?" She asked.

"No, I live next door. All of the homes on this street are set aside for the current Kazekage's family and friends," Kankuro replied, pausing a moment to take another bite of rice before continuing. "Shin lives in the house beside mine, and Temari lived across the street before she moved to Konoha. The only people living in the residence right now are you and Gaara."

Sakura hummed to herself, nodding as she took another sip of the miso soup. In Konoha, everyone was allowed to live wherever they wanted to, but in a village like Suna where the layout of the streets was confusing and the weather was more vicious, it made sense to have as many important people close by as possible.

Just then, there was a knock on the wall that connected the dining room to the hallway, and Sakura looked up to see Shin standing in the entryway. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously, and he was watching her as if he expected her to stand up and attack him. "Should you really be revealing such sensitive information to an outsider?"

"Sakura isn't an outsider," Kankuro laughed as he stood, immediately going to Shin's side and wrapping his arm around the taller man's shoulders. Shin grumbled something under his breath and tried to shake Kankuro off, but his attempts were thwarted easily. Sakura had the sneaking suspicion that Shin wasn't really putting a lot of effort into escaping. "Are you finally going to stay for breakfast? We miss you, man."

Sakura watched as Shin stared at her for a long moment. She knew that the polite thing to do would be to look away or smile, but she did neither. She kept her eyes focused on Shin's, narrowing her own as she internally _dared_ him to test her. He may have been tall and obviously fit, but she'd taken on men larger than him and won simply because they'd underestimated her.

"No, I'd like to go home for the night," Shin replied, and Sakura let the smirk of satisfaction show as she watched him look away first.

"Fine, fine. Be that way," Kankuro grumbled as he rolled his eyes, shoving Shin against the wall lightly before moving to the open door on the other side of the dining room. "Yori-chan! Shin's here!"

Sakura wondered for a moment who Kankuro was yelling for, but she was having too much fun watching Shin's eyes determinedly look everywhere in the room except for at her. Shin glanced toward Gaara and nodded his head slightly, and Sakura caught Gaara returning the gesture from the corner of her eye just as she heard footsteps nearing from behind her. She tore her gaze away from Shin to watch the doorway that Kankuro had yelled into, feeling her eyes widen slightly at the woman who was now standing there.

She was possibly one of the most beautiful women Sakura had ever seen, almost as beautiful as Ino, but in a completely different way. She had long black hair swept to one side, with bangs that just barely covered her eyebrows. Her eyes were so dark that they looked black, and everything about her expression and body language reminded Sakura of the women in Konoha who were usually referred to as ice princesses.

Sakura watched the woman curiously and fought back the urge to flinch when her sharp gaze shifted to watch Sakura. The woman who must have been Yori bowed in Sakura's direction and then turned to bow toward Gaara without waiting for Sakura to return the gesture.

Yori paused for a moment before she walked around the table behind Sakura to stand beside Shin quietly. The bright smile that immediately appeared on Shin's lips seemed so out of place, and Sakura was surprised that he was even capable of making an expression like that. She'd thought until this point that he was only capable of glaring, but when his eyes focused on Yori, they were so soft that the love he felt for her practically radiated through the room.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kazekage-sama," Shin said as he wrapped his arm around Yori's shoulders, clearing his throat before turning on his heel to leave. He glanced over his shoulder and shot one last suspicious glare toward Sakura before exiting through the adjacent living room, causing a scowl to fall on Sakura's lips. 

It always aggravated her when people seemed to be infuriating on purpose, especially when that attitude could potentially hinder the mission. She could have been gathering information from him to try and figure out what was happening to Suna's medics, but it was going to be nearly impossible if he refused to look at her as anything but an outsider.

"Don't worry about him, he's just a hinedere. He'll warm up to you eventually," Kankuro snickered as he plopped back into his seat beside Sakura, immediately picking up his chopsticks and stealing a piece of tamagoyaki from her plate.

"He's a... what? What the hell is a hinedere?" Sakura sputtered, feeling her eyebrows furrow with confusion. She quickly picked up her chopsticks and stole back the piece of tamagoyaki just before Kankuro could eat it, shoving it into her mouth and smirking around her chopsticks.

"What, you don't even know about character archetypes? How uncultured," Kankuro scoffed as he reached over and grabbed more food from Sakura's plate again, grinning when he managed to swallow it before she had a chance to stop him. Sakura groaned with frustration before taking the tea that she knew Kankuro had been saving for last and drinking more than half of it.

The screech Kankuro let out was so loud and ridiculous that Sakura had to fight not to choke on the tea she'd just swallowed. Laughter bubbled from her throat as she handed the tea back to Kankuro, sticking her tongue out at him when he glared at her. She would buy him lunch later to make up for it, if you could call it lunch in the middle of the night, but his reaction had definitely been worth the extra expense.

From across the table, Gaara stayed silent as he finished his meal without any sort of reaction to their shenanigans. Sakura turned to watch him curiously as she began working on her rice, smiling when she saw the amusement flickering in his eyes.

*****

The room was eerily quiet, and the only things Sakura could hear were the sound of Kankuro carefully moving beakers from the other side of the room and her own breathing. Sakura added a drop of the composition she’d been working on all day into the petri dish under the microscope, frowning when there was no reaction. That was the fifth mixture of potential antidotes she'd tried today, and she was starting to realize that the poison was going to be much harder to find an antidote for than she’d anticipated.

Sakura moved away from the table and let herself lean into the back of her chair, squeezing her eyes shut to try and minimize the strain she'd started feeling from looking through a microscope all day. She was so used to being able to figure out how to counter poisons easily, and the fact that she’d had no luck yet was disheartening to say the least. She didn't even have a clue of where to start looking for a solution, and she was starting to wonder if it was even possible. Tsunade had told her years ago about the poisons even she’d never been able to find an antidote for, but they’d been few and far between.

The sound of scraping caught her attention and she opened her eyes slowly, looking around the nearly empty research laboratory until she saw Kankuro now standing near the herbs, grinding up something with a mortar and pestle. He was the only other person in the room besides her, and she'd assumed that more people would join them after some time. Several hours had already passed since they'd gotten here though, and she was beginning to grow suspicious.

"Why have none of the other researchers come in today?" Sakura finally asked.

Kankuro's hand stopped moving as he lifted his eyes to hers, and Sakura felt her stomach drop slightly at the serious expression that had begun to pull at his face. He watched her for a long moment before finally looking away, remaining silent as he went back to grinding the herbs. Sakura could tell that her question had hit on something major by how tense his shoulders were now. She was about to tell him not to worry about answering her when he suddenly looked up at her again, his gaze sharp enough to stop her words before they left her lips.

"It may have been an inside job," Kankuro whispered, his voice low and dark enough that Sakura almost didn't hear him.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, but deep down she already knew the answer to her question. The tension in the air was almost palpable as she licked her lips, feeling a shudder run down her spine.

"The person who attacked and murdered Chouko-san somehow managed to get into the Kazekage tower and escape without anyone noticing them. No one was seen leaving Suna afterward, either," Kankuro said quietly. "Whoever is responsible for what happened was able to get into the Kazekage tower and move around without drawing attention to themselves, and they also had access to the poison that was being held exclusively in this room." 

Sakura opened and closed her mouth a few times, but found her words failing her. There were few things that hurt worse than betrayal, and she found that she couldn't think of anything to say to comfort or reassure Kankuro. It had been hard enough for her to deal with things when Sasuke had betrayed Konoha, and he hadn't even been around for her to witness the things he did. She couldn't imagine what it must feel like for Kankuro to see the people he worked with so closely, the people he loved and trusted, and wonder which of them was responsible for his friends’ death.

Just then a knock came from the entrance, startling Sakura out of her thoughts and making her jump. Normally, Kankuro would have teased her for that, but he said nothing and instead went to open the door. Once it was open, Sakura realized that she could only see the other person's legs, as the rest of their body was completely hidden behind a large basket filled with herbs.

"Thank you," Kankuro whispered, and Sakura watched as he took the basket to reveal a girl with short auburn hair that could only be described as fluffy. She smiled brightly in his direction and then turned to face Sakura. Her grin stayed just as warm and friendly as it was for Kankuro as she bowed, her hair seeming to float around her shoulders before she picked herself back up. Sakura responded with a small bow of her own, blinking in surprise when the girl giggled before turning on her heel and literally bouncing away.

Sakura glanced at Kankuro to ask who the girl was, but he was turned away from her and digging through the basket of herbs. Sakura let out a small sigh and stood, walking toward the wall of chemicals and trying to think of a mixture she had yet to try. There may have been nothing she could say to comfort Kankuro, but the least she could do was keep trying to figure out a way to stop the poison from taking more lives of the people he loved.

*****

Daytime was fast approaching as Sakura walked through the streets of Suna. The sun had risen a few hours ago, but the tall rock walls surrounding the village managed to keep the worst of the heat away until the sun was high in the sky. The air was definitely warmer though, and Sakura felt a pleasant tingle on her face from the morning light.

She rolled her neck from one side to the other, being careful to avoid hitting Gaara as she lifted her arms above her head to stretch her muscles. After finishing up at the research lab with Kankuro, she'd waited around the Kazekage tower until it was time to head back to the residence for the day.

"Would you be willing to accompany me this weekend, Sakura-san?" Gaara asked, his quiet voice breaking through the silence that surrounded them so suddenly that it caught Sakura off guard. She blinked and turned her gaze to him, frowning slightly when she noticed that he was still watching the path in front of them.

"Seeing as I don't have any plans, I can probably join you. Why?"

"Shin asked for the weekend off so that he could spend time with Yori-san, so I'd like for you to act as my personal guard for one night," Gaara answered, his voice as calm and easy as ever. Sakura continued to walk beside him, following him as they turned a corner into the residential district. "It seems that Kankuro resorted to drastic measures to convince Shin of your trustworthiness, though he was unwilling to tell me exactly what transpired."

Sakura's mind immediately flashed to the image of Kankuro immobilizing Shin with his chakra strings in the street, and she decided that she really didn't want to know what had happened between them. The fact that Kankuro had had to do something he couldn't even tell Gaara about just to get the guy to trust Sakura for a day kind of stung. She'd always been the person people came to with their problems, the person who'd earned the trust of everyone in Konoha. She understood his reasons, but it hurt to suddenly be viewed as someone suspicious.

"He really is a cynical person, isn't he?" Sakura scoffed, immediately hating how vicious the words sounded coming out of her mouth. Gaara seemed to catch on to her tone because he finally turned his gaze to look at her, his eyes seeming to study her calmly.

"I believe that you would be wary of most people if you were in his position as well, Sakura-san."

Sakura immediately let her gaze fall to the ground as she felt Gaara's words pierce into her skin, knowing that the reason it hurt to hear wasn't because of the way Gaara had said it, but because she knew it was true. Shin had lost just as many people as Kankuro and Gaara recently, and with the murder of Gaara's other personal guard likely being an inside job, she knew that everyone was likely on their toes looking for danger around every corner. Shin may have come off as a prickly cactus so far, but he was hurting just as much as everyone else.

"You're right. I'm sorry," Sakura whispered.

Gaara said nothing in response, letting the silence stretch as they continued walking down the empty streets until they finally reached the residence. Sakura kept her head down as he unlocked the front door with his chakra, following him through the halls until they reached their bedrooms.

"Sakura-san," Gaara said quietly, causing Sakura's hand to stop and hover over the seal to her room. She chewed the inside of her lip and made a small sound of acknowledgement, not wanting to look up and see the disappointed expression he must have been wearing. "Shin will come around once he gets to know you the way Kankuro and I do."

Sakura blinked in surprise and lifted her eyes to ask Gaara why he was still being kind to her when she'd insulted his friend, but the words disappeared silently when she realized he'd already gone into his room. She turned her attention back to her door and opened the seal with her chakra, whispering a soft "goodnight" before entering her room to sleep for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yori’s appearance was inspired by the Japanese actress, [Fukada Kyoko.](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/409149128430321674/497548396861587456/kyoko-fukada-23c81b43-0b0f-4330-a206-13e249df8c7-resize-750.jpeg)
> 
> For those who don’t know, -dere’s are character archetypes commonly found in anime. Hinederes are normally icy, arrogant, cynical, and sarcastic until a character breaks through their shell, which is when they show a softer side.   
> Also, I had no idea that Hinedere’s were even a thing until I wrote this chapter because they’re a pretty new archetype, so I’m sorry if I upset anyone. I just really wanted to show Kankuro being a snarky brat.


	6. Moonlight

The light of the moon danced along the sides of the adobe buildings, adding a soft sheen that practically glowed in the otherwise dark street. From several streets over, Sakura could faintly hear the sound of people moving around and talking as Suna came to life. 

She leaned against the Kazekage tower and let her eyes drift to the full moon, feeling a sense of calm sink into her skin until she could finally breathe easily again. She had been working on the poison for over a week now, and she hadn't made any progress in figuring out an antidote. It had been years since she'd struggled so much, and it was starting to make her wonder if it was even possible to counter this poison.

Suddenly, the door to the Kazekage tower opened beside her. Sakura caught a glimpse of bright red hair out of the corner of her eye, but found herself unable to look away from the soft moon's light. There was movement beside her as she heard Gaara lean against the wall, his robes scraping against the rough building exterior.

"It's strange," Gaara murmured, his voice suddenly breaking Sakura from the trance the moon had held over her. 

"What is?" She asked, glancing over toward Gaara and tilting her head to the side curiously. For a long moment Gaara remained silent, as if he was trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words.

"Watching the moon like this now… It’s peaceful, somehow," Gaara said thoughtfully.

“Is it not normally peaceful?” Sakura asked, watching the small and almost sad smile that appeared on Gaara’s lips. She waited for a long moment for him to reply, but when he said nothing, she turned her attention back to the sky. She took in a deep breath and let her thoughts disappear, feeling the sense of peace pull into her body and seep down into her bones.

"Shall we go, then?" Gaara asked a few moments later, drawing Sakura's eyes to him as he pushed himself off of the wall. Sakura nodded her head and fell into step beside him wordlessly, wondering where they would be going for the night. All she knew was that Gaara had wanted her to accompany him.

Gaara lead them through the empty streets until they took a turn into the restaurant district, and Sakura felt her breath catch in surprise when they were suddenly surrounded. More than a dozen Suna residents had crowded the street corner as if they'd known that Gaara would be arriving there, and had quickly rushed toward them once he’d made an appearance. Sakura felt her hands twitch against her kunai holster, but she ignored the initial instinct to draw her weapon when Gaara locked eyes with her. His gaze was calm and comforting, as if he was trying to tell her that everything was okay without speaking.

Sakura nodded her head slowly, watching as Gaara turned to greet the people who'd gathered to meet him. Her fingers stayed poised beside her kunai and her attention remained vigilant, but she let her fingers relax ever so slightly as her eyes darted around the area to look for any suspicious movements. She kept her attention on Gaara out of the corner of her eye while scanning the area for danger until she realized that everything was fine.

For all intents and purposes, it seemed like the civilians of Sunagakure had simply gathered to speak to their leader. The old man who stood closest to them was complaining about some of the water lines being broken in the restaurant district, while the middle-aged woman beside him asked about using one of the courtyards for her wedding. Sakura watched as Gaara replied to each person with short and simple responses, sometimes nodding but never seeking out more information than they were willing to provide. It was unexpected, but somehow it didn’t seem very strange or out of place, either. 

As the crowd of people began to thin, Sakura's eyes caught a young girl off to the side hiding behind a lamp post. The girl waited until the last person had finally disappeared, and then walked toward Gaara quietly with her head bowed so low that Sakura could barely see her eyes behind her bangs. Her fingers twisted together in a nervous gesture, but Gaara didn't urge the girl to talk. He just waited silently until she finally gathered enough courage to speak.

"Th-thank you, Kazekage-sama," The girl stuttered, her voice high and sounding as if it would give out at any moment from fear. "F-for sending your s-sensors to our district."

"Did they manage to catch the bike thief?" Gaara asked, causing Sakura to blink owlishly at him, surprised that he'd finally asked a question. When the young girl nodded her head enthusiastically, Gaara let a small smile cross his lips. "I'm glad."

The young girl beamed at him and then, as if remembering that she was speaking to the leader of her village, suddenly ran back to hide behind the lamp post once more. Gaara seemed unphased as he simply glanced around the almost empty street, and Sakura briefly wondered if this was something that happened often.

Before she had the chance to think about it for too long, Gaara turned to leave the district and moved in the direction she knew lead to the food courtyard. Sakura kept her place beside him, even as he was once more surrounded by a swarm of people. Again, Sakura felt her heart rate speed up and her fingers tense beside her kunai, but this group also seemed to only want to speak to him.

When they reached the third district and the same thing happened again, Sakura realized that the reason these people seemed to know that Gaara was going to be there was because they _did_. Every single person that surrounded Gaara did so with the intention of talking to him about something going on in the village. Except for the occasional nervous person, everyone who spoke to Gaara seemed so comfortable speaking to him, and Sakura found herself wondering if this was something Gaara did often.

They continued through the same areas Gaara had shown her on the tour of the village a week ago, and before Sakura knew it, dawn was fast approaching and they'd traveled through almost the entire village. She felt a yawn pull itself from her lips as they reached the Kazekage tower, stretching her arms above her head until her back cracked.

In front of her, Gaara had begun to work his chakra into the seal that kept the tower locked. Once the seal began to glow bright red, the door opened inward and he went inside, motioning for her to follow him. Sakura stepped forward, and quickly found herself unnerved by the darkness that began to surround them.

"You may want to wear the headband we gave you," Gaara whispered, and Sakura glanced in his direction. In the darkness, the only things she could really see were the whites of his eyes, and she found the effect kind of creepy.

"Are there a lot of people here at this time?" Sakura asked as she pulled the Suna headband out of the pouch on her hip. She tied it around her neck and left it to hang loosely in the same way Hinata used to wear her Konoha headband.

"No, but it would be best not to risk it," Gaara replied before turning and beginning to walk away.

Sakura followed the sound of his footsteps until they reached another door. She watched as Gaara's chakra pushed its way into yet another sealed lock, causing a bright red light to pulse into the dark corridor. It flared to life and disappeared a second later with the sound of a click, and suddenly they were bathed in soft light from the other side of the door when it opened. 

Gaara walked through the doorway and stepped to the side, holding the door open for Sakura once again. For a moment, Sakura wondered if he always held doors to be a gentleman or if it was because of some trap set up to ward off intruders who touched the doors. 

She decided it didn't really matter as she bowed slightly and followed him through the doorway, her eyes immediately lifting to the large spiral staircase that hugged the outside walls of the circular building. It reminded her faintly of a castle tower she'd seen in a movie when she was a child, but there was a large pillar that stood against the staircase in the center so that there was no possible room for anyone to fall.

After a few seconds had passed, Gaara began to make his way up the staircase, glancing over his shoulder once and tilting his head as if asking her to follow. Sakura scrambled to catch up to him, keeping herself a few steps behind him as she let her eyes wander. She realized that the soft light was coming from lanterns that hung from the outer walls, and after a little while of walking she finally turned her eyes toward the pillar in the center. They passed several levels within the pillar, and each landing had a single large archway leading to a hallway with doors on either side.

Gaara continued walking forward until they came to the very end of the staircase, which ended at a large and ornate door with multiple seals running along the edges. Sakura waited patiently as he opened each individual seal in order from the top to the bottom and then opened the door, stepping to the side to let her enter first.

The first thing Sakura noticed about the large room was that it was almost definitely the Kazekage office. There was a large painting along one wall with the symbol of Suna painted in dark red, and there was a large window beside it with a balcony that he could likely use to oversee the village. The desk that sat near the center of the room was large and ornate, made of the same dark wood with red undertones that she'd noticed in the Kazekage residence.

The second thing she noticed was that the room was somehow sparse and cozy at the same time. There was a plush circular rug that covered most of the floor and bookshelves lining the walls. Other than that, decorations and furniture were kept to a minimum.

"Feel free to look around and read anything you'd like," Gaara spoke softly as the door shut behind them. Sakura watched as he moved to the large desk in the center of the room and sat down, a bright red light glowing from the other side of the desk as he unsealed the drawers to the desk.

Sakura hummed softly to herself and moved to the bookshelves, running her fingers along the spines of the books as she read the titles in her head. She passed by the bookshelves dedicated to foreign policy and diplomacy and made her way around the room until she reached the bookshelf that was filled to the brim with medical texts. She looked over the titles until she found one that she'd never seen before.

Sakura immediately grabbed the book on rare plants and animals with potential medical uses and turned to lean her back against the bookshelf. She slid down until she was seated on the soft rug, pulling her eyes away from the book long enough to glance at Gaara again. He was seated at his desk writing things down onto a scroll, and Sakura found herself wondering what he was writing with such an intent look on his face.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked almost immediately after the thought popped into her mind, feeling a blush rise on her cheeks when Gaara looked over at her and tilted his head to the side. She pressed her lips together to keep her mouth from asking anything else before she had a chance to think about it, and found herself pulling her legs up to her chest as if she was subconsciously trying to hide.

"Writing letters of thanks to the people who helped catch the bike thief," Gaara replied, a small smile pulling at his lips for a moment before his eyes turned back to the scroll in front of him.

"Why do you do this?" Sakura asked, pulling her legs closer to her chest as Gaara looked back at her with confusion.

"What are you referring to?"

"That," Sakura replied, pointing in the direction of the paper on his desk. When his look of confusion deepened, she felt a sigh pull from her lips. "I've never met another Kage who goes out on their day off and just... walks around the village talking to people. They usually take the time to stay home and relax or train."

Sakura watched as Gaara leaned back in his chair, his eyes lifting toward the ceiling thoughtfully. When he didn't reply immediately, she wondered for the first time if maybe she'd overstepped some sort of boundary. She was so used to asking Tsunade and Kakashi anything and having her questions answered, but she needed to remember that she wasn't in Konoha anymore. Gaara hadn't refused any of her questions so far, but that didn't mean she wasn't asking more of a Kage than she should.

"I can’t understand what my people need if I never interact with them," Gaara replied suddenly, his voice quiet and relaxed. "This village has experienced much suffering because of the decisions made by the previous leaders. I don't want to make the same mistakes."

Sakura stared at Gaara for a long moment, finding herself unable to think of a proper reply. After a while, Gaara returned to writing on the scroll in front of him, and Sakura knew she'd lost the chance to continue the conversation. 

With a sigh, she opened the book she'd grabbed earlier and began skimming through the pages until her eyes landed on a picture of a plant she’d never seen or heard of before. She felt her attention being pulled in until she saw nothing but the words and images in front of her. Apparently, the stem of the plant had been used to create a rare poison that could stop the flow of chakra completely for several minutes at a time. It originated somewhere between Earth Country and Wind Country, but had been seemingly eradicated near the end of the First Ninja World War.

Sakura flipped through the pages and devoured every piece of information she could get her hands on. It was fascinating to read about the chemical properties of something she’d never seen before, and it was starting to give her ideas about what she could use to potentially create an antidote for the poison. That wasn’t the only interesting thing, however. The more she read into it, the more suspicious it seemed that the plant had suddenly just _disappeared_ from existence.

"Sakura-san?"

Sakura jumped, banging the back of her head against the bookshelf and wincing at the sudden burst of pain. Her eyes darted from the page to where the sound had come from, a small gasp escaping her lips when her eyes finally fixed themselves on Gaara. He was standing directly in front of her and leaning over, the concern showing easily through his expression as he frowned.

"I'm sorry," Sakura breathed out, grinning sheepishly as she closed the book. "I just found something really interesting in this book and I kind of forgot where I was."

Sakura watched as amusement flashed through Gaara's eyes, his frown disappearing as a small smirk quirked at the edges of his lips.

"You can bring the book with you, if you'd like," Gaara said softly as he stood fully once again.

"Really?" Sakura asked, unable to contain the excitement that rushed into her voice.

Gaara nodded his head, and Sakura beamed at him. She shifted her legs to stand and immediately winced as she finally felt the ache from sitting in the same position for too long.

Sakura turned her head to look through the window, finding herself wondering exactly how long she'd been reading for. The sun had been out for at least an hour if she had to guess from the amount of light in the sky. 

When she turned to face the room again, she noticed that Gaara had stretched out a hand to help her stand. For a moment she considered standing on her own, but the ache in her legs was getting worse now that she was aware of it, and there was really no reason for her to refuse except for her pride.

After watching his hand a bit longer, she reached out and grabbed it, allowing herself to be pulled up. Once she was standing, she pulled her hand away and stretched her arms above her head to work out the kinks in her back that had built up from hunching over for a few hours. 

They exited the office together, neither one of them speaking as they started down the spiral staircase. Sakura moved to follow behind Gaara after they accidentally bumped shoulders a few times, letting herself silently yawn once she was out of sight. They continued past several floors like this, and then suddenly a sound from the center pillar rang throughout the stairwell as someone came running out of one of the hallways.

Sakura watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Gaara’s sand that had been floating by his head immediately hardened to form a barrier for a second and then suddenly dispersed. The man that had entered the stairwell bumped hard into Gaara’s shoulder, and Sakura frowned as she eyed the loose sand particles suspiciously. She had always known his sand shield to be something he couldn’t control, so why had it suddenly stopped?

“I’m so sorry, Kazekage-sama!” 

The man immediately bowed his head, his eyes wide with panic, but Gaara remained as pleasant and unphased as ever.

“It’s quite alright, Amano-san.”

Sakura watched as the man finally looked up, his expression quickly shifting into one of relief when he noticed that Gaara wasn’t mad. He was quite old, and Sakura wondered briefly if he’d worked in the Kazekage tower when Gaara’s father was still the leader of the village. From the bits of information she’d gathered so far, she’d learned that almost all of the citizens had been afraid of him for one reason or another. Given how comfortable and happy everyone in Suna seemed to be with Gaara as the Kazekage, she could only assume that the fear was left over from the previous regime.

The man visibly relaxed and moved until his back was against the center pillar to allow them to pass. He smiled as they continued down the stairway, and Sakura returned the smile with a small nod of her head. 

It wasn’t long before they’d reached the end of the stairwell and exited the Kazekage tower. Once they were out on the streets once again, Sakura moved to stand beside Gaara once again, her eyes occasionally drifting to the sand floating idly by his head. 

They remained silent the rest of the way back to the Kazekage residence as Sakura found herself thinking about the way his sand had behaved once again, trying to figure out what exactly had happened. When they reached the front door, Gaara once again held the door open for her even though her chakra was attached to the seal. She thought back to her previous question and realized that Gaara likely held the doors open as an act of kindness, rather than one of protection. She smiled and moved past him, waiting until the door was shut and they were alone to speak up. 

“Can I ask you something?” Sakura asked, and Gaara nodded his head almost immediately. “I thought your sand automatically protected you, so why didn’t it stop the man from bumping into you earlier?”

Gaara turned to watch her for a moment, his eyes flashing with surprise briefly before he began making his way up the large staircase, a small smile quirking at the edges of his lips. “It only protects me from things I view as a threat, and I’ve learned to manipulate my perspective for situations like that. I don’t want the sand to accidentally injure someone who means no harm.”

Sakura hummed softly in acknowledgement as she followed him up the stairs, moving the book she’d taken from the Kazekage office from one hand to the other. An image of the plant she’d been reading about flashed into her mind, raising more questions about the workings of Gaara’s sand.

“What would happen if you ran out of chakra, or if it was cut off, theoretically? Would the sand still protect you?”

“Yes, because I don’t control it with my chakra,” Gaara replied, his eyes glancing toward her before they turned down the hallway. “I’m sure you remember that it isn’t perfect, though. It can be bypassed if the opponent is quick enough.”

Sakura nodded her head slowly as she remembered the fight he’d had with Lee during the Chuunin exams. It was the fight where Lee had almost lost his ability to fight forever, and when she’d first learned how terrifying Gaara’s sand manipulation could be. Still… 

“What would happen if your opponent was quick enough, and somehow managed to cut off your ability to use chakra? Could you fight them with taijutsu?” Sakura asked, her hands tightening around the book as she thought back to the poison that could stop someone’s chakra flow completely. 

It was thought to have been eliminated, but there was no proof that it’d been destroyed, and the person targeting Suna’s medics obviously had a wealth of knowledge when it came to poisons. Sakura wasn’t sure why, but she had a feeling that the plant was still growing somewhere, and if it somehow managed to get into the hands of the enemy when Suna’s forces were already weakened because of the lack of medics, everyone would be in danger.

Gaara stopped moving forward and turned to watch her closely, and it was only then that Sakura realized they were already in front of the doors to their rooms. His eyes narrowed curiously, and Sakura felt herself begin to squirm under his gaze. 

“Why are you asking all of this?” 

Sakura shifted her eyes to the floor at Gaara’s question. She knew logically that her worries were probably irrational, but she also knew that Gaara wasn’t invincible. He’d already died once when the Akatsuki had attacked, and if the sinking feeling that was gradually growing inside of her turned out to be true, there was a possibility that it would happen again. Only this time, no one would be able to bring him back.

“I’m worried,” she began, closing her eyes and gathering her breath and courage all at once. “The best way to make sure that your target is taken out is to first get rid of the people who could save them. If someone is taking measures to eliminate many, if not all, of Suna’s medics, it could mean that their true target is someone very important to the village, someone the people depend on.”

Sakura opened her eyes and raised her chin, locking her gaze with Gaara’s and trying her best to convey the sinking feeling in her chest to him. The fact that he hadn’t responded saying he was proficient with taijutsu meant that he likely wasn’t strong enough to take on someone who would theoretically be quick enough to get through his sand barriers. If the people behind the murders were truly after Gaara like she suspected, and if they could counter his abilities, he could be in very real danger.

Gaara’s eyes studied her closely, as if he were trying to read everything she was trying to silently tell him. For a long and tense moment he didn't respond, until finally he let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“I will begin looking for a taijutsu expert tomorrow night.”

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated as she realized that she could very well be stepping over the invisible boundaries laid out between them. She watched him quietly, and then decided that the risk of speaking up far outweighed the risk that could come with saying nothing.

“If you want, I could help with your taijutsu training,” Sakura said, smiling when Gaara’s eyes focused onto her once again. He tilted his head to the side curiously. “I’m assuming you have a training area, either near the residence or in it, and we’re here together for most of the day anyway.”

“The basement could be used for training,” Gaara said thoughtfully. Sakura nodded her head, realizing that the cool basement made sense for a village as hot as Suna. “I would appreciate that, but are you sure?”

“Completely. I’ve been getting pretty restless since I haven’t been able to train much, so this would be good for me, too.” Sakura grinned, suddenly excited at the idea of being able to work out her muscles properly again. Gaara nodded his head in agreement, a soft smile edging its way into his expression. “When would you want to start?”

Gaara glanced toward the window further down the hallway, seeming to think about his answer for a moment before speaking up. “Late afternoon would give us enough time to sleep, I believe.”

“Sounds perfect,” Sakura replied, the mention of sleep immediately causing a yawn to leave her mouth. 

“Goodnight, Sakura-san.”

Sakura smiled and nodded her head once, watching as Gaara walked into his room with the same elegance he always seemed to hold. Her eyes stayed on the closed door for a moment longer before she entered her own room, placing the book beside her bed and changing into her pajamas without much thought. 

The pull of sleep was too strong, and before she realized it she had already crawled into bed. She snuggled into the soft pillows and drew the covers up to her chin, eternally grateful for whoever had thought to invent air conditioning. Her mind lazily skimmed through the events of that day, from the patrol of the village to discovering the poison that hadn’t been seen in decades. She felt her thoughts begin to slow down as she started thinking about their training tomorrow, and managed to figure out some semblance of a plan just seconds before she passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to the usual suspects: TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing, and to everyone who has been leaving reviews. They help keep me going more than you know. ♥
> 
> The next few chapters are some of my favorites so far, so I hope you guys will enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them.


	7. Chemistry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things are moving slowly, but would you believe me if I said it’s gonna be worth it? XD
> 
> Also since several people mentioned how quickly I update, I figured I’d mention that I didn't start posting this until I had several chapters ready, and I’m still a few chapters ahead of this (I’m about halfway done writing chapter 11) which is how I’m able to post once a week without fail. :D

Sakura took a sip of her coffee as she sat down on the small blue sofa in her room, her fingers running along the edges of the ceramic mug thoughtfully. She had managed to come up with a small plan for today’s training session with Gaara, and she was going over the list of things to do for maybe the tenth time since she’d first woken up. She knew that she was probably over-thinking it, but she hadn’t trained anyone in taijutsu in years, and to be honest, she was nervous.

She continued to go over the plan of action in her head, and before she knew it she’d finished her coffee. She rinsed the mug in the sink, placing it beside the coffee machine to dry just as a knock sounded from her bedroom door. Sakura took a deep breath and went to open it, quickly smiling in Gaara’s direction before moving to stand beside him in the hallway. She shut the door behind her and pressed her chakra into the seal to lock the door before finally turning to face Gaara fully.

"Good morning," She said, shaking off the strange feeling that still accompanied her every time she said that when it was well past noon.

"Good morning," Gaara replied with a slight nod of his head. Sakura looked him over to make sure he wasn't wearing anything crazy for their training session, and was relieved when she noticed the small gourd that was wrapped around his waist with a rope. She'd half expected him to wear his usual heavy gourd and vest to hold it, but he'd opted for a black t-shirt with mesh sleeves and standard ninja pants. It suited him.

When she glanced up toward his face once again, he offered her a small smile which she returned before he turned and began walking away. She followed him through the hallways and down the large staircase until they reached a section of the residence she'd only been to when setting up the seals. They passed the large kitchen and attached sitting room before they arrived at the door to the basement.

Gaara unlocked it wordlessly and began walking down the steps first, leaving Sakura to shut the door behind her. After the door was shut she paused at the top of the stairs as she realized that the basement was pitch black, but a few moments later the room beneath her became engulfed in a soft light. She began to move down the steps now that she could see, grateful that Gaara had gone first. 

She reached the last step and looked around the room, realizing that it really just looked like every other basement she'd ever been in. It was large and mostly empty, and the only real difference was the color of the walls since they were likely made of adobe instead of concrete.

Sakura moved closer to the end of the room where Gaara was standing somewhat awkwardly, his gourd placed on the ground beside him. It was a bit strange to see him in such simple clothing, and she wondered briefly how much more strange it must be for him to be standing there without his gourd attached to his body. The thought made her smile sympathetically for a moment before she remembered the reason they were there.

"Okay, first thing's first. Have you already stretched and warmed up?" Sakura asked, to which Gaara replied with a shake of his head. "Let's do that first. If you have your own routine, you can do that, but otherwise just follow my lead."

Sakura began her pre-stretch warm-ups, starting with simple jumping jacks and lunges, and then moving to leg lifts and plies. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Gaara was following her moves with his eyes on her the entire time. 

When her body was warm enough to increase the blood flow, she moved into her stretching routine. She sat on the floor and stretched her legs to the side as far as she could, then leaned to touch her toes on each side in turn. She went through a few more stretches until her body felt limber and ready to move, then quickly stood and moved into a defensive fighting stance with her arms raised to block.

"Alright, come at me with everything you've got. No chakra."

Sakura tensed her muscles as she braced for impact, frowning when she realized that Gaara wasn't moving. He was standing in the same place he'd started at, watching her with confusion.

"I thought we were going to train, not just spar."

"I need to see how you fight before I can come up with a training plan," Sakura replied, expecting that to be the end of the conversation. Gaara didn't move, though, and still looked almost hesitant, like he didn't want to attack her. 

Sakura wondered if maybe he was worried about using his full strength and hurting her, especially since he _had_ attacked her and almost killed her all those years ago. "I'll be using chakra to protect myself from being hurt too badly, and I'm sure you know that I can heal just about any injury that regular taijutsu can cause. I'll be fine."

Gaara seemed to think about her words for a moment before nodding his head in understanding. Sakura watched as he dropped down into an offensive stance and smiled at him reassuringly while bracing herself for his attack.

Gaara's entire demeanor changed as his expression slipped into something more dangerous. Sakura gasped softly, her body shuddering as she saw a flash of the memory of his sand pinning her to the tree, and then suddenly Gaara was moving toward her.

Sakura fought back a hiss as Gaara's fist came flying and crashed into her side, causing pain to surge through her body. She internally cursed herself for getting distracted and quickly recovered, watching his body movement to determine where the next blow would come from and managing to concentrate her chakra into that area just before he attacked again.

It didn't take long to fall into a rhythm, and Sakura managed to keep up with his attacks and block each one without moving away from the spot she'd started in. After a few minutes, Gaara seemed to realize this as well, and Sakura watched as his eyes narrowed on her just before he suddenly kicked toward her side.

_Shit!_ she thought to herself as she dodged to the side. If Gaara's kick had landed, he would have hit her liver with enough strength to go through some of her chakra barrier. Her eyes locked with his from where he stood just across from her, his body still in his fighting stance. The moment stretched for what seemed like ages until Sakura felt a smile pull at her lips at the same time as Gaara.

They smiled at each other for a moment longer before Gaara darted forward again, his fist flying toward her. They danced around each other, breathing heavily with sweat trickling down each of their faces. Sakura let herself move around the room more freely to evade and block like she would if this was an actual fight, wanting to see what Gaara would do and if he could take advantage of the openings she purposefully left for him.

Sakura kept moving, finding that after a while she could easily predict what Gaara was going to do next. His attack pattern was fairly consistent and predictable, and he only seemed to notice and take advantage of about half of the openings she intentionally created.

As Sakura continued to study Gaara's form, she began making a list in her head of the different things that they would have to work on. Gaara seemed to notice her distraction and moved to take advantage of the situation, but Sakura already knew what he was going to do. She blocked the right hook with her forearm and shifted her torso to evade the body shot he threw with his other fist. Her palm was already out before his shin attempted to connect with her shoulder and she parried the attack easily, watching with a satisfied smirk as he stumbled backward.

The sight of Gaara stumbling around and missing shots was something Sakura never thought she would ever see. The same man who moved around every room with elegance and poise, who seemed to be calm and unphased even in the most frustrating and loud situations, was suddenly almost... _normal_. She wasn't sure why, but she found the idea of Gaara being a normal person and not just a Kage to be somehow comforting.

*****

"Why is nothing working?" Sakura groaned, shoving the petri dish to the side and banging her head on the lab table.

Another week had passed, and she still hadn't made any progress on creating an antidote for the poison. Across the lab, Kankuro let out a string of curse words, and Sakura knew that he was having just as much trouble as she was.

_There has to be something I'm missing,_ Sakura thought to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair roughly, trying to think of things she possibly hadn't considered before. What would she have done years ago when she was still learning how to create antidotes, when she was still open to experimenting with new ideas? What would Tsunade or Shizune do in this situation?

Sakura groaned again as her mind drew a blank, finding herself almost grateful for the knock that suddenly sounded from the door to the lab. She was the closest one to the entrance so she got up and peered through the small window on the door, taking a few seconds to recognize the girl with fluffy auburn hair that had brought them herbs last time. Sakura glanced toward Kankuro, who shifted his eyes from the clock on the wall to her and nodded to show that he was expecting her.

Sakura opened the door just as the girl began to stumble backward from the weight of the basket, somehow managing to grab onto her wrists to keep her steady just in time. Sakura grabbed the basket and placed it on the table beside the door, noticing immediately that it had at least twice as many ingredients as last time. 

When Sakura glanced back to thank the girl, her brows furrowed as she noticed the expression on the girl's face. She was staring up at Sakura with wide and sparkling eyes in the same way she remembered Naruto looking at Ichiraku’s ramen after a long mission away when they were kids.

"Can I help you with anything?" Sakura asked, not expecting the bright smile that quickly stretched across the girl's face. It was so wide that her eyes crinkled at the edges.

"You're Haruno Sakura-san, right?" Sakura blinked at the girl's question and nodded her head slowly. She knew she wasn't exactly supposed to be undercover, but for some reason she was still uncomfortable. "I knew it!"

"Have we met before?"

"No, but I immediately recognized you from the last time you were in Suna. I never forget a pretty kunoichi," the girl replied, and Sakura could swear that she was practically bouncing on her feet. Then she held her hand out, tilting her head and sending her fluffy hair bobbing to the side. "My name is Kitagawa Tsubaki. I hope we can get along while you're here in Suna."

Sakura offered the girl a polite smile and held out her hand awkwardly, remembering somewhere in the back of her mind that the people in Suna sometimes introduced themselves with handshakes. She opened her mouth to respond, but before she had the chance, a gruff and annoyed voice rang over the hospital's intercom, calling for the girl to return to the greenhouse.

"I better go. Let's talk more next time, Haruno-san!" Tsubaki yelled as she began running backward through the hallway, waving once and then turning down a corner and disappearing.

Sakura blinked, finding herself dumbfounded and a little bit weary. She hadn't run into someone with that much energy since the last time she'd been around Naruto, and even he had calmed down considerably over the years. Maybe she was getting too used to being around Gaara and his eternally calm presence.

When Sakura shut the door and turned back to the room, she immediately noticed the way Kankuro's eyes were lingering on the door and the faint blush that was spread across his cheeks. As if feeling the eyes on him, Kankuro glanced toward Sakura and then quickly looked back at the concoction he'd been working on. Sakura’s interest was immediately piqued. 

"Isn't she the girl who delivered the herbs to us last week?" Sakura asked, a small smirk tugging at her lips when she noticed the way he immediately tensed. She had only seen him behave like this one other time in the past, and it was when he'd been absolutely smitten with Ino during one of his trips to Konoha.

"You can't use this against me," Kankuro warned as he lifted his gaze finally, his eyes narrowed in an attempt to look dangerous. Sakura had seen this expression enough times to know that it was basically just for show, but he also never showed it unless he was serious about something.

"We both know that I have better blackmail material on you than your crush on the girl who delivers herbs," Sakura chuckled as she moved toward the basket, curious about why they suddenly had so many ingredients and if there was anything new. "Don't you think she's a bit young for you though?"

"She's older than you, Sakura."

Sakura’s mouth gaped open as her attention whipped back to Kankuro, who still hovered over the table he was working at. His attention was completely on the materials in front of him, but there was a smirk on his lips that let her know he was aware of her reaction without having to look. She debated telling him he was a filthy liar, but he obviously knew more about the girl than she did, and she wasn’t about to start up a fruitless argument for Kankuro to yell ‘I told you so’ about later. 

She turned back to the basket and began sorting the herbs based on their medical properties, placing them into small piles to further organize later. There was a lot more variety this time around, but it still seemed like she'd already tried to use everything here. Was she really going to be stuck on this antidote forever?

Sakura sighed as she began sifting through the poisonous herbs, her gaze locking onto a new one that she immediately recognized as foxglove. She reached out and grabbed the tube-like flower petals, the wheels in her mind beginning to turn.

Before her thoughts were even fully formed, she had grabbed the flower and practically run over to the wall of supplies. She tossed it inside of a mortar and began grinding it up, her pulse racing excitedly as she wondered why she'd never thought of this before.

She knew that foxglove was poisonous, but she also knew that it was possible to extract the good parts of it and use them to treat heart failure, which just so happened to be the final cause of death of every person affected by the poison so far. She had never done it herself, but Tsunade had taught her about it years ago when she'd first begun her apprenticeship. Maybe this was the break she’d been looking for.

Once the foxglove was ground up, Sakura hovered her hands above the mortar, licking her lips as she focused on trying to find the pieces of the flower that she knew could be used for medicine. When she finally located the chemical composition she was looking for, she carefully pulled it out and placed it in a small bowl by itself.

Sakura could feel Kankuro's eyes on her as she ran to the other side of the lab to grab a dropper, but she paid him no mind. She hurried back to her station and pulled a small amount of the synthesized poison replica into the dropper, her heart racing rapidly in her chest. Time seemed to stretch from one moment to the next, but before she knew it, her fingers had pressed down on the dropper to release the poison into the foxglove.

For the first time in two weeks, the chemicals reacted to each other.

"Kankuro, come here!" Sakura screeched, her heart beating so hard that she could practically feel it in her ears.

Kankuro came racing over, saying something that she couldn't quite understand. Her mind was too far gone as she stared into the bowl below her, her hands trembling almost as much as her breath.

When Kankuro reached her side, he let out a gasp that was loud enough to break Sakura out of her trance. She finally tore her eyes away from the mixture in front of her to look at him. For a moment they both just stared at each other, but then suddenly they were grinning and moving around the room to gather more materials to work on actually making an antidote without having to say another word to each other.

For the first time in two weeks, they had made progress.

*****

Sakura tilted her head back to face the sky, letting out a content sigh as the heat tingled against her skin. The sun had been out for hours at this point and had risen far past the edge of the rock wall to press down on the village. She knew that most of Suna would be asleep at this time of day, and she fought back a yawn that reminded her that she should be asleep right now, too.

"Come on, hurry up," Kankuro grumbled from in front of her. At some point while she'd been distracted by the heat, Kankuro had finished unlocking the seals to the Kazekage tower.

Sakura grinned sheepishly, stepping inside of the building and closing the door behind her, shuddering at the sudden cool air that swept against the layer of sweat on her body. She watched as Kankuro began working on the seals to the second door, following behind him when that one was opened as well.

She shut the door behind her and began to follow Kankuro as he headed up the spiral stairwell leading to the Kazekage office. Sakura knew that she wasn't moving as fast as she normally would, but that didn't stop the tired smile from pulling at her lips as she touched her hip pouch.

They continued up the stairwell until they finally reached the Kazekage office. Sakura leaned against the wall as Kankuro began knocking on the door in a complicated pattern of knocks, pounds, and taps. Not even a full second after the last tap, the door flew open to reveal Shin standing there, his eyes glowering and furious. Sakura could practically see the vein pulsing on his forehead.

"Where have you been?" Shin hissed, his eyes narrowing in a hard glare that would have probably scared Sakura when she was still a genin. Now, though, it didn't even break the smile that was still on her lips.

"Dude. Chill," Kankuro said lazily, clapping one hand onto Shin's shoulder as he walked into the Kazekage office. Sakura followed behind him, bowing slightly toward Shin as she passed him, her smile stretching when she noticed his glare darkening. Apparently he didn't like people being polite to him when he was angry at them. She _did_ feel bad for not contacting him and asking him to escort Gaara back to the residence, but hopefully the reason would be enough to make up for it.

Sakura shifted her attention to the office, her eyes immediately locking onto the familiar tuft of bright red hair. Gaara's head was carefully propped onto his arms at his desk, his breathing slightly heavy as he slept, and she found herself thinking that his sleeping face was kind of cute. She moved to stand in front of the desk beside Kankuro and watched as he leaned over the desk, his fingers tapping against the dark wood.

"Gaara, wake up."

Almost instantaneously, Gaara lifted his head and looked up at them sleepily. He blinked a few times to clear his vision and shifted his gaze from Kankuro to Sakura, and then back to Kankuro.

"What happened?" Gaara asked, just before leaning back in his chair and rubbing one of his eyes. Sakura watched carefully to see if the dark circles around his eyes smudged--they didn't. So that got rid of the theory that Gaara was wearing eyeliner.

Sakura turned to watch Kankuro answer, finding herself only mildly surprised when he burst into a grin that took up half of his face. He didn't say anything in response and instead stepped to the side and lifted his arms, gesturing toward Sakura in a large and exaggerated manner. She was confused at first, but when she saw Gaara's eyes shift back to her, she realized that Kankuro was giving her a chance to answer in his place.

She opened her mouth to reply, but quickly snapped it shut as the smile that had been on her lips transformed into a smirk. Actions always spoke louder than words, right?

Sakura quickly undid the clasp on her hip pouch and grabbed a fistful of capped syringes, placing them onto Gaara's desk with a flourish. Gaara just looked at her, his bewilderment showing through every feature on his face and only deepening when Kankuro reached into his pocket to grab more capped syringes, placing them onto the desk in the same dramatic way that Sakura had.

"What's going on?" Gaara asked, his voice tinged with confusion. Sakura felt a swell of pride rise in her chest as she took a deep breath, the excitement from earlier beginning to bubble underneath her skin again.

"Give these to your medics who are going on missions soon," Sakura smirked, watching as Gaara's eyes widened slightly. "It won't negate the poison completely, but it'll stop it from spreading for several minutes. That might be enough time for them to use a teleport scroll to get back to Suna. It might be enough time for someone to extract the poison and save them." 

Sakura sensed movement beside her and turned to face Shin, who had moved to stand next to Kankuro. His arms were folded across his chest as he stared at the syringes on the desk. Sakura wasn't sure if it was an effect of the sunlight shining through the window, but he seemed less rough and irritable than he had every time she’d seen him so far.

"How did you manage it?" Shin asked, his eyes shifting to Kankuro as he spoke. "You've been saying that it seemed impossible to counter this poison for months."

"Well, let me tell you something," Kankuro drawled out dramatically as he draped an arm heavily around Sakura's shoulder, the sudden impact enough to make her stumble a little. "It was all Sakura over here. She's the one who thought to use freaking foxglove."

Sakura watched as Shin looked her over, his expression serious and contemplative like he was trying to figure something out in his head. Just as Sakura was beginning to grow impatient and tired of being studied, Shin uncrossed his arms and lifted his eyes to hers.

“Was it really you?” He asked. Sakura just stared at him for a moment before nodding her head, and he hummed thoughtfully in response. "It seems that you possess a modicum of talent after all."

Sakura wasn't sure whether to scowl or smirk. On one hand, she had managed to get Shin to admit that she had talent even though he’d seemed determined to hate her; on the other hand, he had still managed to say it in a way that sounded sarcastic and rude.

Gaara cleared his throat from the other side of his desk, causing Sakura's attention to snap from her thoughts and turn to him. He'd stood up at some point, and other than a small clump of hair that was sticking up awkwardly, he didn't look at all like he'd been sleeping just moments ago.

"I will hand these out to our medics tomorrow," Gaara said, his voice quiet but still rough around the edges with sleep. Sakura beamed, her pride coursing through her when Gaara smiled at her. "Thank you."

Sakura watched Gaara quietly for a moment before smiling softly and shaking her head. “You don't need to thank me. This is part of my mission, and I just hope that it helps.”

“What she means is, ‘You're welcome’,” Kankuro snickered. Sakura began to reach out to punch him lightly, but squealed when he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of rice before she had a chance. 

“Let me go!”

“Hush, you look like you're about to drop I'm carrying you back to the residence whether you like it or not.”

Sakura groaned in frustration as she kicked her legs wildly to try and escape, but her reflexes were slow from exhaustion and before she could really do any damage, Kankuro had tied her ankles together with his chakra strings.

“If you keep going I'm gonna hog tie you and carry you in the streets like a pig about to be roasted,” Kankuro warned as he began walking down the stairwell.

Images flashed through Sakura's mind and she shuddered. If they were in Konoha, she would break his face here and now and just help fix the buildings later. Unfortunately for her, they were in Suna, where the guilt would haunt her forever if she destroyed their streets or their Kazekage tower.

“I'll get you for this,” she growled, glaring at his back with enough hatred to burn the sun.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Sakura frowned and lifted her torso so that she was horizontal as she heard movement from behind them. Shin and Gaara had begun to follow them out of the Kazekage tower, and Sakura narrowed her eyes in Shin’s direction, just warning him to laugh at her. He managed to keep his expression neutral somehow, and she wondered if maybe he didn't find it funny because he knew the struggle. She’d laughed when Kankuro had tied Shin up in the streets to stop him from walking away, but she was starting to think that maybe next time she would be a little more sympathetic.

She shifted her eyes to Gaara, fully expecting him to seem as calm and serene as ever. Sakura’s mouth dropped open when she saw that, to her surprise, his lips had pressed together in a hard line as if he was trying to stop himself from laughing. The blatant amusement that flickered through his eyes caught her completely off guard, and the feeling of being thrown off only grew when their eyes met.

Sakura stared at Gaara for a long moment before pulling her eyes away, shifting them to the ground where they stayed the rest of the way back to the residence. She normally would have been angry to see someone so amused by her suffering, but for some reason, seeing Gaara let his amusement show so obviously on his face seemed to embarrass her more than anything. The entire way back, right up until she fell asleep in her bed, she found herself fighting off an embarrassed flush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's finally progress! I know, I know, it's taking forever, but the slow burn is gonna be worth it. I promise.
> 
> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente, as well as everyone who has left reviews. I love seeing what you guys think of the story so far and seeing your predictions. :D


	8. Symptoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing and cheering me on, as well as everyone who has been leaving reviews. It honestly means the world to me, and I really appreciate it.

Sakura kept her eyes on Gaara from across the mat, her breaths coming in harsh pants as the sweat trickled down her body. She hesitated for a moment, watching the nerves flash across his otherwise calm expression, and offered him a smile in hopes of helping him calm down. He nodded his head once and Sakura took a deep breath, preparing herself before she moved.

She lunged forward and lifted her arms to attack, her hands reaching right for his neck. Gaara placed one hand on each of her shoulders and brought his foot up to her stomach, kicking hard and trying to throw her off balance. Sakura grunted from the impact but otherwise kept herself steady, her hands managing to reach out and touch his neck. If she had been trying, she could have easily choked him out and maybe even snapped his neck by now.

"You're lifting your leg too much. In this position, if your opponent has good control of their balance, you'll end up giving them the advantage," Sakura instructed, wondering how she was supposed to teach him this move. The only person she'd really taught anything had been Naruto, and she'd always had to knock him around for a while before he understood. Maybe Gaara was the same way. "Okay, let go and attack me so I can show you what it's supposed to look like. I'll try not to throw you too hard." 

When Gaara nodded and let go of her shirt, Sakura took a few steps back and shifted so that she was crouching slightly. Gaara hesitated for a moment, but then he was running toward her with his fist pulled back. The second his fist began closing in on her, Sakura reached out and grabbed his shirt near the collar with one hand, and grabbed the arm that was trying to punch with her other hand.

Before Gaara had a chance to try and slip away, Sakura had stepped in close to him with her right leg and simultaneously moved her left foot to press flat against his hip bone. There was a split second where she saw the surprise on his face, but she quickly tugged at his shirt while letting herself fall with her back to the mat. His momentum propelled him forward, and she used that to her advantage and pushed up with her leg to send him flying over her head.

Sakura heard Gaara land flat on his back with an audible 'thud' and winced, belatedly realizing that she had used more strength than she'd intended to.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she rolled over and moved so that she was hovering above him, her eyes darting over his body to check for any immediate signs of injury.

"I'm alright," Gaara groaned. He pushed his body up with his arms, turning his eyes to her and lifting his hand reassuringly. He seemed a bit winded, but otherwise didn't seem to be in any pain.

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and stood, extending a hand to Gaara to help him stand. "Do you understand how the move works now?"

Gaara took the hand that had been offered to him and nodded his head once. When Sakura noticed his eyes shift to the clock on the wall, she let her gaze follow and let out a groan. She didn't want to cut training off short, but if they left now they would _barely_ have time to shower before breakfast, and she wasn't exactly keen on the idea of walking around to gather information when she smelled so badly.

"We can continue tomorrow, if you like," Gaara said on cue, as if he was reading her mind. Sakura glanced back at him and nodded her head.

"You can take time to analyze the move this way, too. Make sure you try to figure out how to use their momentum instead of using your own strength."

Sakura began to move toward the stairs as Gaara grabbed his gourd and reattached it to his belt. He caught up to her quickly, and they moved through the residence together in comfortable silence until they reached their rooms.

"I'll see you in a bit," Sakura said, turning to smile toward Gaara. Her smile turned into a frown when she realized that he'd already gone into his room and closed the door without saying anything to her first.

She walked into her room and began moving toward the bathroom, shedding her clothes as she went, all while trying to figure out why he'd left her without saying anything. Gaara had never been a talkative person to begin with, but he was always polite. Maybe he was just tired and had forgotten to say something, or maybe he had and she just didn't hear it.

Suddenly, Sakura shuddered as she realized she'd been standing under the cold water of her shower for a few minutes already. She turned the heat up as quickly as she could until it was a comfortable temperature and grabbed her shampoo, letting her thoughts drift away with the water down the drain.

*****

Sakura didn't gather much information that night, but she did manage to make friends with some of the local business owners, which was always a good start. Nine times out of ten, the people who knew the most gossip were the people who worked with the public a lot. Bar owners and employees always seemed to know the most, but the people who ran the ninja shops would likely help her the most on this mission.

As she leaned against the Kazekage tower, she hugged the paper bag full of new workout gear to her chest. She'd already placed the new shuriken into her hip pouch, and had plans to visit the bookstore the next day. Now that she'd created a counter to the poison, she figured it was time to start focusing on the other part of her mission here while Kankuro worked on extending the time that the poison could be extracted.

Beside her, the door to the Kazekage tower opened and she turned her head as Gaara stepped out into the faint light of dawn with Shin following behind him. Shin's eyes locked onto hers, and Sakura could practically feel him struggling not to glare at her. After a moment, he sighed and nodded his head to greet her begrudgingly. Sakura just smiled sweetly.

"Please remind Yori-san about tomorrow," Gaara spoke softly while looking at Shin, his voice sounding somehow strained.

Sakura's eyebrows knit together as she watched Gaara more closely, her medic intuition immediately telling her that something was wrong. She couldn't quite tell what it was, but Gaara seemed weaker than he normally did somehow, and his already pale skin seemed to have only become more pale. It could have been a trick of the light, and maybe she had imagined the strain in his voice, but her gut instinct told her that she hadn't.

Once Shin had left them, they began walking in the direction of the Kazekage residence together in silence. Sakura had to fight her instinct to ask him if he was okay, knowing that asking something like that in a public space could be highly dangerous, especially if something really was wrong. Someone in his position couldn't afford to be seen as weak in any way, not when there was someone out there that she suspected wanted him dead.

That didn't keep her from studying him, though. His normally elegant walk now seemed stiff, as if he was in pain somewhere, and his skin looked like it had a thin sheen of sweat over it. The signs were all there, but they wouldn't be noticeable to anyone who wasn't looking for them.

Almost the second the door to the residence closed behind them, Sakura grabbed Gaara by the arm, forcing him to look her in the eyes. His normally calm demeanor had shifted into something almost nervous, but the second she noticed it, he managed to get it under control.

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Sakura-san," Gaara replied, his voice tightly controlled as he pulled his arm from her grip and began walking up the large staircase.

Sakura followed him closely, watching his every move like a hawk as they moved toward their bedrooms. She knew he hadn't been moving like this yesterday, so whatever was affecting him had to have been something that happened today. He'd seemed slightly off at breakfast and she hadn't thought about it much because she'd assumed he was just tired from training, but...

 _Shit, training,_ she thought to herself, cursing under her breath when she realized that she was likely the cause of Gaara's behavior. She'd thrown him too hard on accident because she was so used to sparring with Naruto and his crazy healing abilities, but those were healing abilities that Gaara didn't have.

When she looked back at Gaara and studied him under this new revelation, she realized that everything fit with the symptoms of someone experiencing severe back pain. The giant gourd probably wasn't helping anything, either.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" She asked once they reached their bedrooms, managing to catch Gaara's attention before he touched his chakra to the lock on his door.

"I'm fine," Gaara replied, but this time his eyes narrowed slightly when he looked at her, as if telling her to drop the subject. Sakura narrowed her eyes right back in challenge, knowing better than to give up. If Gaara really was in pain, it was almost certainly her fault. If anything happened to him because he couldn't fight to the best of his abilities, she would never forgive herself.

Without warning, Sakura pulled her leg back and kicked his gourd as hard as she could without using chakra, and her lips pressed together when she noticed the way his jaw immediately clenched in pain.

"I knew it," Sakura hissed, her glare darkening as she lowered her leg back to it's normal standing position. "Look, I know you're in pain from our training this morning and there's no use hiding it from me anymore. I know you probably just didn't want to make me feel guilty, but I would feel more guilty if I didn't fix the damage I caused. Please, let me heal you."

Sakura watched the hesitation flutter across Gaara's expression and began formulating a plan to force him into letting her heal him if he didn't agree to it. She got up to the part where she would steal a tranquilizer from the lab, when Gaara let out a long sigh and she realized that he'd given in. Without thinking much, Sakura pressed her chakra into the seal on her door and quickly opened it, grabbing Gaara by the hand and pulling him into her room.

"Do you want me to help you take the gourd off?" She asked as she let go of his hand, wondering for a moment why her hand felt slightly tingly.

Gaara shook his head no, pulling her attention back to the task at hand as she watched him reach up to undo the buckles on his vest. Judging from the angles his body was making when he seemed to tense up, Sakura figured that most of the pain was in the mid-to-lower back area. The fact that she could narrow it down was definitely a good sign, and meant that healing him probably wouldn't take too long.

He finished undoing the buckles, causing the straps that held the gourd to loosen. When they were loose enough, Gaara leaned back to let the gourd fall to the floor and slowly slid himself out of the vest. Once he was standing straight again, Sakura moved to grab two pillows from her bed and placed them gently on the floor.

"I'm gonna have you lay down on your stomach with one of these under your abdomen. The other is to rest your head on, if the change in angle doesn't hurt your back too much."

Gaara nodded his head slowly in understanding, and Sakura smiled at him gently before turning to move toward the bathroom. When she reached the doorway she paused, turning her head back to look at him. She watched his carefully blank expression for a moment longer before sighing, realizing that there would be no harm in speaking her thoughts.

"It would be easier for me to heal you if you weren't so... covered," Sakura said, waving a hand to gesture toward his overcoat and looking away as she felt a slight blush begin to burn at her cheeks. "If you're not comfortable with taking your shirt off, don't worry about it, though. I can heal you through the fabric. It'll take a bit more time, but it's really not a big deal."

Sakura moved quickly into the bathroom without waiting for a response from Gaara, shutting the door behind her and leaning against the door. She furrowed her brows in confusion as she lifted her hands to her cheeks, feeling the heat there and wondering where _that_ reaction had come from. She'd told many men over the years to remove their clothing when performing exams in the hospital, so why had she reacted this time?

She let her thoughts wander as she moved to the sink to wash her hands and arms. In Konoha, she'd known almost every person who came into the hospital very well, and had more often than not been on missions with them where they'd been in life-and-death situations together. Maybe the reason she'd reacted when she'd had to tell Gaara the same thing was because she still didn't know him that well yet. It could have also been the fact that they were doing this in her bedroom and not a hospital exam room or a battlefield. Not to mention, she still wasn't completely comfortable in this bedroom--or in Suna--yet.

Sakura sighed and shut the water off, staring at herself in the mirror as she dried her hands. Yes, there were many logical explanations for her reaction earlier. The fact that she'd blushed didn't necessarily mean that there was any deep or hidden meaning behind it.

When she re-entered the bedroom, Gaara was laying on the floor with the pillow under his abdomen just like she'd asked, and he'd also placed the second pillow under his head. He'd taken off the red overcoat to reveal a basic black t-shirt, and Sakura felt a smile pull at her lips when she noticed that it was lifted to reveal a small patch of skin. The fact that he'd lifted his shirt at all showed her that he trusted her, even if he wasn't completely comfortable with her yet.

Sakura moved to kneel beside him, lifting her hands to hover over his back, making sure not to touch him. She could practically feel the tension rolling off of his body in waves and frowned, shifting her eyes to the back of his head. Was he nervous at being exposed like this? Or was he just unused to being in any kind of pain?

"I need you to relax as much as you can," Sakura said quietly. Gaara nodded his head slightly and she watched as he breathed in deeply and held it, then released it in one heavy exhale. The tension in his body lessened, and by the time he released the third breath, he'd finally relaxed to a point that she could work with.

Sakura gently pushed her chakra into his system, closing her eyes as she began to poke around. It was always interesting to work on someone for the first time, because everyone had distinct chakra signatures. When healing someone whose main chakra affinity was fire, she could feel the heat push against her chakra. When the person had an affinity to lightning, her palms would tingle as if being touched by the most gentle currents of electricity.

Gaara's chakra was on a completely different scale. There was still a feeling of moving her chakra through the earth, but more than that there was a lingering feeling of danger that seemed to pulse through his entire body. It was a feeling she'd only really noticed with Naruto before, and she knew that it must have been because of the fact that they were both jinchuuriki, but Gaara's felt calmer than Naruto's ever had. Maybe it was because his tailed beast had been extracted, but it was interesting that the feeling was still there.

While she'd been distracted by her thoughts, her chakra had continued to move around under his skin. When her hands moved to hover over his lower back, the feeling of moving her chakra through the earth suddenly changed into something harder. She moved around until she found the area that felt like her chakra was running into a boulder instead of soft dirt and sand and shifted her focus there. There was a large muscle contusion near his lumbar spine, and she winced when she realized how close she’d come to actually dealing damage to his spine. 

Sakura focused on healing the muscle fibers that had been crushed, making sure that none of the connective tissue was too badly torn. After she'd healed the main cause of the pain, she sent her chakra out to look for anything else she could fix. There was a bunch of knotted muscle near his shoulders that she healed easily, but that was the only other thing that seemed to need her attention.

Sakura opened her eyes and gently pulled her chakra from his system as she sat back to lean on her arms. "You can get up now if you want to."

Gaara nodded his head once and moved to stand up, his movements fluid and elegant just like before he'd been injured. Sakura stayed where she was, her eyes following him as he stood, frowning as the guilt began to pool in her stomach. The way he moved now was so different from earlier, and there was no denying the fact that she'd been the cause of his pain. Not only that, but she hadn't taken the time to make sure he was alright. She had taken him at his word, when she would have forced anyone else into letting her look them over.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, chewing on the inside of her lip as she watched for his reaction. He paused in pulling his shirt back down and glanced toward her, his head tilting to the side for a moment before he smiled slightly.

"It's quite alright, Sakura-san."

"No, it isn't," she replied instantly, ducking her head and looking away. "I should have checked to make sure you were alright before we left the basement. I was too focused on the time, and that injury could have gotten you killed if you'd been attacked and hadn't been able to move away in time because of the pain."

"Nothing happened, though."

"But it could have," Sakura grumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear as she looked back at Gaara. "I promise that this won't happen again. I'll check you over after every session, no matter what."

Sakura watched as Gaara seemed to think her words over for a bit before nodding.

"I understand, but please don't go easy on me during training," Gaara said, lifting a hand to stop her when Sakura opened her mouth to retort. "I'm aware that you would not do it knowingly, but you are kind. You may subconsciously go easier on me, unless you are actively reminding yourself not to, and I rather enjoy the fact that you aren't afraid to spar with me seriously."

Sakura snapped her jaw shut, knowing that she couldn't argue with him. He was right, she _would_ have gone easier on him. She had already hurt him and didn't want to accidentally injure him again, but it wouldn't do him any good if she went easy on him during training. The person out there killing Suna's medics certainly wouldn't go easy on him, and he needed to be prepared to fight with his life on the line.

Gaara seemed to notice the moment that she understood what he was saying, because he smiled at her softly for a second before his expression returned to its normal calm state. Her eyes followed him as he picked up the overcoat that he'd laid on the sofa and then the large gourd and vest that he'd left on the floor by the door. Just before he began to unlock the door, he stopped and turned to face her again.

"Thank you, Sakura-san. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sakura watched him leave, waiting until she heard his bedroom door shut to stand and undress. She stripped down to her sports bra and underwear, too sleepy to really care about throwing on her pajamas, and then threw the pillows back onto the bed and crawled under the covers.

A yawn pulled at her lips as she snuggled under the covers, closing her eyes and blindly pulling one of the pillows to her chest to hug it. After a few moments, she realized that the pillow she grabbed must have been one of the ones Gaara had used, because his smell lingered on it. She debated moving it to the other side of the bed and grabbing a different pillow, but there was something about Gaara's smell that was just as comforting as his presence normally was. It was earthy and somehow light at the same time, just like sand drifting in the wind. Sakura felt herself smile as she finally drifted off to sleep.

When she woke the next day, she found that her arms hadn't let go of the pillow that smelled like Gaara, and at some point during the night, she'd also moved her head to rest on the second pillow that he’d used. Her face was buried into it as if inhaling his comforting scent, and she had no idea why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. There’s _finally_ some progress lmao.  
>  Also, I made a spotify playlist for Vermilion. You can find it [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/b711v05n5cyadr4mlprkpgd9s/playlist/7KDy0J0WtZ0Ls8kmz0Pajf?si=j4CW0IKySVWDcpX3hGAUWQ) or search for it. My username there is the same as here, and it’s the only public playlist I have. It’s mostly Kpop, but the songs are in order by chapter name, so it might give you hints about what’s to come~


	9. Please Don't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for being the best betas in the world.

Sakura crawled out of bed slowly, placing the pillow she'd hugged to her chest--the one that smelled like Gaara--back in its rightful place, chewing on her lower lip as an embarrassed flush rose on her cheeks. She moved to the coffee pot, flipping the switch to turn it on and then stretching her arms over her head to crack her back. Her eyes squeezed shut as she felt her muscles pull in just the right way, and smiled when she realized that this was the most refreshed she'd felt after waking up in a very long time, possibly since coming to Suna.

She pulled the curtains covering the balcony doors to the side and quickly unlocked them with her chakra, a frown pulling at her lips as she realized that it was already after dusk. She had assumed that Gaara wouldn't wake her up early for training after what had happened yesterday, but him waiting this long was definitely new.

Sakura turned to go back into her room when she noticed something eerie about the streets of Suna below her window. Or rather, it was something she _didn't_ notice that sent a strange chill down her spine. The village was silent. Normally, she would be able to hear voices and movement from the next district over as people went about their night, but there was nothing.

She frowned and closed the balcony doors behind her, locking them before heading to the bathroom to grab a shower and get dressed. The sooner she got ready for the day, the sooner she could go ask Gaara what was going on.

It didn't take her long to get ready, and when she dressed she chose to forgo her thigh bindings and kunai holster. She still wore her hip pouch and kept her shuriken in it, but she was planning on going to the civilian book store today, and she didn't want to scare anyone when she was supposed to be making a good impression and gathering information.

Sakura tugged the strings of her hair ribbon until it was securely in place and then poured her coffee into a travel mug before leaving her room and walking over to Gaara's door. She knocked on the wood gently a few times as she sipped at her coffee idly, waiting for a response.

After almost a full minute, Gaara still hadn't come to the door or made any noise. Sakura knocked again, drinking down more of her coffee as she tried to keep her patience intact.

"If you don't answer, I'm coming in!" Sakura yelled as she rapped her fist on the door one more time, this time less gently. When she was met with silence yet again, she pushed her chakra into the lock on his door and walked in, her brows furrowing when she looked around and didn't see him anywhere.

The bathroom door was open, so she knocked on the wooden door frame before peeking into the bathroom with one eye closed in case she saw anything she wasn't supposed to. Her eyes fully opened when she noticed that he wasn't in there, either. The shower was still slightly damp, which meant that he'd likely already gotten ready for the day, but then why hadn't he woken her up?

Sakura finished her coffee and returned the mug to her room, locking both of their bedroom doors before wandering through the hallways and down the large staircase. The eerie feeling stayed with her as she walked around the residence, but she knew that it was because this was her first time going through these hallways alone. She'd always had Gaara or Kankuro by her side, and it felt strange to suddenly be by herself, like she was intruding in someone else's home.

When Sakura reached the bottom of the staircase, her senses went on high alert almost immediately. There was a vague sound coming from the direction of the kitchens, and Sakura felt a whoosh of relief as she realized that she wasn't alone. If nothing else, maybe the chef, Yori-san, would know where Gaara had gone.

Sakura walked in the direction of the kitchens, listening to the clatter that Yori-san was making with a calm smile on her lips. It reminded her faintly of the sounds her mother made in the kitchen when she was growing up, and she hadn't realized that she'd missed the sound of someone cooking so much.

As she closed in on the archway to the kitchen, a loud crash sounded. Sakura darted forward and ran into the kitchen, opening her mouth as she was about to ask Yori-san if she was okay, but the sight she was met with was definitely not what she'd been expecting.

Gaara was standing over the stove, one hand gripping the handle of a pan while the other was open next to the counter, just hovering in thin air. Sakura looked to the floor and was relieved when she saw that the loud banging she'd heard moments ago had just been from a container of utensils that Gaara had apparently tried and failed to catch before it fell off the counter.

Gaara cleared his throat awkwardly, bringing Sakura's attention back to his face. "I wasn't sure if you'd made plans for breakfast with today being a holiday."

Sakura blinked stupidly for a moment, tilting her head to the side in confusion. Did that mean he was currently making breakfast _for her_? "There's a holiday today?" she asked instead, figuring that asking him if he was cooking for her might be a bit too presumptuous.

"It's the anniversary of the day Sunagakure was founded," Gaara replied before turning his attention back to the stove. "Over the years, it has become a day of rest where the citizens spend time at home with their families."

Sakura nodded her head slowly as she thought it over, realizing that that must have been the reason she'd been able to sleep in and the reason she hadn't heard anyone outside. Everyone was inside, spending time with their loved ones. The eerie feeling she’d had earlier slowly dissipated with that realization.

Gaara dropped the pan back onto the stove with a slight clatter that was loud enough to break Sakura out of her thoughts. Her eyes followed him as he moved around the kitchen, grabbing plates and bowls before moving back toward the stove. Sakura noticed the way he kept his left side as far away from the counters as possible, and she suddenly realized that the small gourd of sand on his hip must have been what knocked over the utensils earlier.

"I'll join you in the dining room momentarily," Gaara said as he turned to face her again, holding out a plate of sausage and grilled fish in one hand, and a bowl of steaming white rice with flecks of seaweed in the other. Sakura took the plate and bowl gratefully, watching as Gaara turned to the stove to finish making his plate for a moment before she moved into the dining room.

Sakura took her place at the dining room table, the same place where she'd first eaten breakfast here over two weeks ago, and poured herself a small cup of tea from the pot that had been left to steep in the center of the table next to two small bowls of miso soup. When Gaara joined her, he handed her an egg to crack into her rice before sitting down across from her. They both said their quick thanks for the food and picked up their chopsticks, but Sakura paused as she glanced up at Gaara.

"Thank you for cooking breakfast for me," Sakura said quietly. Her gaze moved to his lips when he smiled kindly at her, a frown tugging at her own lips when she realized a few seconds later that her eyes were still locked onto the same place. She forced her eyes to look away, her eyes darting to the empty plate next to her as she searched for anything to distract her thoughts.

"Where is Kankuro?" she asked, keeping her eyes deliberately on the food in front of her as she cracked her egg into the bowl of rice.

"He usually spends most of the day catching up on his sleep," Gaara replied, his voice quiet and deliberately calm. Sakura hummed softly in response as she chewed her rice slowly, wondering what Gaara normally did on these days if Kankuro wasn't around. As far as she knew, his only other family that was still alive was Temari, and she'd moved to Konoha years ago. Did he normally spend his holidays alone now? "I apologize for not telling you about the holiday earlier. I hope you didn't have any important plans for the day."

"I was planning on going to a bookstore to try and gather information, but I can do it tomorrow," Sakura replied as she shook her head slowly.

"You could use the library, if you'd like."

"Wait, there's a library here?" Sakura asked, blinking in surprise as she looked back at Gaara, who was smiling softly.

"It's at the other end of the residence. There are no windows or doors, so I never showed it to you while you were creating the seals."

Sakura frowned, wondering what kind of library didn’t have a single window or door, but she pushed her questions aside as she finished her breakfast. She would no doubt see for herself soon enough anyway.

Once they’d finished eating, Sakura cleaned their dishes in the kitchen--something she’d insisted on doing, as thanks for him cooking breakfast--and they began to move toward the library. It was upstairs and in the opposite direction of their bedrooms, but it didn’t take very long to reach it.

Sakura stepped through the archway at the end of the hall and felt her breath catch in her throat as she got her first look at the library. There were bookshelves lining every inch of the walls, from the floor to the ceiling, and there was not a single empty space on the shelves. A large coffee table sat in the center of the room with three couches surrounding it, and the room was engulfed in a soft light from the chandelier hanging above the table.

"I believe you'll enjoy the content of that bookshelf the most," Gaara suggested, pointing to the far end of the room.

Sakura moved to the bookshelf in question, and instantly smiled when she realized that the books were all about medical theories and techniques. She scanned the spines until she found one that seemed to have a focus on poisons and different methods of extraction.

She grabbed the book and moved toward the couches in the center of the room, taking a seat in the one across from Gaara. He was leaning back comfortably and reading a book of his own, so Sakura took his cue and made herself comfortable as she opened to the first page.

The hours passed in near-silence as Sakura became absorbed in the book, the only sounds in the room coming when one of them turned a page or shifted on the couch they were on. As time went by, Sakura found herself getting more and more comfortable on the couch until she was laying down. Her head was propped up on the arm of the couch and one of her legs was resting atop the back of it, her other leg bent to help prop the book up.

Sakura reached the end of the chapter and glanced over to Gaara, who was still in a sitting position, but was now at least leaning on the arm of the couch with his legs crossed. As she watched him, she became aware of the way her body felt both stiff and relaxed at once, as if she was on high alert but also calm at the same time. It was a strange feeling, and she wasn't quite sure what to think of it, especially since she’d only felt it when looking at Gaara.

Suddenly, she caught movement out of the corner of her eyes. She shifted her gaze to see Kankuro standing in the archway, one finger over his lips while his other hand was held out straight in front of him. He'd attached his chakra to another book, and had moved it to hover high above Gaara's head. And then without warning, his chakra strings released the book, sending the thick volume falling toward Gaara.

Gaara's sand automatically blocked the book, and Sakura watched as the sand formed into the shape of a hand to grab the book and bring it down to Gaara's eye level.

"'The Art of Love'?" Gaara asked curiously, shifting his eyes to where Kankuro had moved to hide in the hallway. Sakura fought back a snort when she heard the book’s title, wondering how Gaara was managing to keep such a straight face right now. "Why?"

"I thought you might need it eventually," Kankuro snickered, sliding into the library and plopping himself onto the empty couch. "What have you guys been up to all day?"

"We've been reading," Gaara replied calmly as his sand gently placed the book beside him.

"What? All day?" Kankuro balked, his eyes widening when Sakura and Gaara both nodded. "Why would you spend all day _reading_ when you could be sleeping or playing video games?"

"There are video games here?" Sakura asked, her interest immediately piqued as she sat up on the couch. Kankuro looked over at her and grinned, his eyes darkening dangerously.

"I still have my save file from last time. Shall we go settle the score?"

Sakura smirked and snapped her book shut, not even bothering to reply before moving to put the book back where it belonged. Kankuro had already left the library and begun heading down the hallway when she glanced back at Gaara who was still sitting on the couch, looking much more awkward than he had a few moments ago.

"Are you going to join us?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. Gaara looked up at her, his eyes wide as if he were surprised she'd spoken to him.

"I won't be in the way?"

Sakura blinked in confusion, watching Gaara for a moment before smiling and shaking her head. Whatever reason he had for thinking he wasn't automatically welcome to join them didn't matter. Today was supposed to be a day to spend time with friends and family, and there was no way she was going to leave him behind. "Of course not. Come on."

Gaara hesitated for a moment before nodding once and standing on his feet. Sakura watched as he placed the book he'd been reading under his arm and, amusingly, grabbed the book that Kankuro had dropped on his head to take with him.

They moved toward Kankuro's loud voice through the otherwise quiet hallway, and Sakura frowned when she realized how tense she suddenly was now that they were alone and standing close to each other. Being around Gaara had been easy and comfortable until yesterday, but now she was suddenly aware of everything, even her own breathing, around him.

"Aha! I found you!"

Sakura followed the voice and poked her head through the open doorway, into the den where Kankuro was hunched over and digging in a cabinet. He pulled himself back and began to stand, groaning when he smacked the top of his head on the shelf above the one he was practically laying in. Sakura quickly threw her hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle.

"Will you stop laughing at my misery and help me set this up?" Kankuro whined. He pulled himself fully out of the shelf and began rubbing the back of his head as he tossed the disc in Sakura's direction.

"You make it so easy, though," Sakura teased, sticking her tongue out and ducking when Kankuro threw the TV remote at her.

She snickered and rushed to the entertainment center, her eyes landing on the gaming consoles she'd somehow missed when she'd created the seals for this room. She turned it on and pushed the disc into the slot, grabbing the two controllers and moving to sit on one of the cushions Kankuro had set up on the floor in front of the tv.

Behind her, she heard the sound of couch cushions moving. She turned her head and frowned when she noticed Gaara sitting on the couch instead of the open places on the floor with them. He placed one book beside him and cracked open the other one, obviously intending to continue reading while she and Kankuro played games.

_Does he have no interest in video games?_ Sakura wondered to herself briefly, her attention shifting when Kankuro dramatically plopped onto one of the cushions beside her. He grabbed one of the controllers from her hands and signed in, pushing his shoulder against hers impatiently.

Sakura sighed and turned around fully to face the TV again, signing into her account that she'd saved on Kankuro's console ages ago, feeling a small thrill of excitement run along her spine when the opening music for the game began playing.

"I can't believe you're still using Ivy because of her boobs," Sakura teased as Kankuro moved them to the character select screen.

"I play her for her superior fighting style," Kankuro argued, his voice haughty as he glared at her as if he was offended.

Sakura rolled her eyes, choosing not to tell Kankuro that she'd heard that same argument from many men who could never seem to use Ivy's skills correctly. She selected her favorite character and shifted on the cushion to get more comfortable, smiling as the music began playing.

As soon as the battle began, Sakura hit the button to block, knowing that Kankuro always tried to get the first hit in. She blocked the his attack and quickly moved in, slicing his character with her large chakram weapon. Before he had a chance to respond, she entered in her favorite combo and watched as her character sliced into his rapidly before sending him flying into the air and crashing back down. 

The first match didn’t last very long, and the second one wasn’t much better. Kankuro managed to get a few hits in with his whip blade, but his button mashing was no match for Sakura’s knowledge. 

"Noooo!" Kankuro wailed as he bent over, his head slamming into the cushion in front of him. Sakura smirked and fell back to lay on the ground, knowing that Kankuro would be dramatically whining for a while after being beaten so badly.

Her eyes moved to glance at Gaara, watching him curiously when she noticed that he wasn't reading his book anymore. His eyes were fixed on the TV screen curiously, and the book was closed and resting on his lap. Had she been wrong in assuming that he wasn't interested in games?

Kankuro began grumbling beside her, but Sakura ignored him and instead stood up to stretch, keeping the controller in her hands. When Gaara's eyes stayed fixed on the TV as if he was lost in thought, Sakura took a few steps backward and fell back onto the couch.

Gaara's eyes finally moved away from the TV screen to look at her curiously. From the corner of her vision she noticed Kankuro sitting up and getting ready to start another battle. Sakura grinned and placed the controller into Gaara's hands.

"Your turn."

"But, I've never..." Gaara began, letting his protest trail off as his gaze shifted to the TV once again as the character select music began playing.

"Pick whatever character looks interesting to you," Sakura said, glancing at the screen just in time to see Gaara select the only male character with red hair.

Sakura turned back to him and pointed out each button, explaining as quickly as possible what each one did as the intro scene played on the screen in front of them. She just barely managed to show him which button was used for blocking when the fight began.

Gaara was easily defeated in the first round, but after a little while he seemed to get a feel for the game and began to deal as much damage as he took. By the third round, Gaara had started leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. His eyes were squinted in concentration, and he’d subconsciously sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

Sakura smiled as she watched him, her eyes lingering on the different expressions he was making much longer than she should have been comfortable with. After a few minutes, she started to wonder _why_ exactly she was feeling so... happy, just from watching Gaara play video games.

Her gaze shifted back to Kankuro on the cushions, and her vague smile turned into a frown when she realized that the feeling she had while watching Kankuro was definitely closer to the feeling she always got when she was around Naruto and Sai. She loved all of them dearly, and there was definitely a sense of fondness there, but it was a more solid feeling. The love was perfectly definable, and fit into the same box.

When she looked at Gaara once again, that solid and heavy feeling gave way to something that seemed more delicate and wispy. The more she focused on trying to figure out what it was, the more she became aware of the way her heart rate was steadily increasing and the way her breathing seemed to be more shallow than normal. It was such a different feeling for her to feel, and the only time she could think of where she had felt anything similar was when she was young and in love with Sasuke...

_No way,_ she thought to herself, chewing on the inside of her lip as she shifted her eyes determinedly back to the TV screen. There was absolutely no way that she was beginning to fall for Gaara, and there was no way that she would allow herself to even consider the possibility.

*****

The next day, Sakura was on her way to the bookstore to gather information when Kankuro found her. His breathing was harsh and his eyes were panicked, and he’d barely managed to get the words ‘medic’ and ‘teleported’ out of his mouth before they’d started running toward the hospital. Sakura ran behind Kankuro as fast as her feet would carry her, her heart beating frantically in her chest.

"How long have they been there?" Sakura asked.

"Only a minute or two, but their condition... It isn't good, Sakura."

"What does that mean?"

"The poison managed to spread far enough to do damage before they injected the counter," Kankuro replied from in front of her, his voice quiet as if he didn't want to say it. Sakura cursed under her breath. "If you can extract the poison quickly enough, there may still be a chance to save him."

Sakura nodded her head, knowing that Kankuro wouldn't be able to see her but also knowing that he likely wasn't expecting her to respond at all.

When they reached the hospital, she followed as Kankuro began running up the outside wall until they reached a balcony on the seventh floor with the doors left open for them. They rushed through the hospital, running past the nurse's station until they came close to a room that seemed to be filled to the brim with people.

"Move!" Kankuro yelled.

The people huddling around the room immediately parted to make a path, and Sakura quickly ran to the medic laying on the hospital bed. She recognized him as someone she’d worked with during the war, but she knew there was no time for pleasantries when she noticed the condition he was in. His skin was clammy and his breathing was rapid. Someone had cut off the sleeve of his shirt to reveal the large gash where the poisoned blade had dug into and through his skin.

Sakura began to roll up her sleeves as someone placed a bowl beside her to drop the poison into and moved her hands to hover over the wound. The medic--Aiji, that was his name--smiled weakly at her and she nodded her head once, wanting to reassure him that she would save him, but being unable to offer a smile in return. When this was all over, she would smile as much as he wanted, maybe catch up over a cup of coffee, but until then she needed to concentrate every ounce of effort into extracting this poison immediately.

She pushed her chakra into the open wound, hearing Kankuro apologize for her as Aiji hissed from the sudden intrusion. Sakura normally tried to be more gentle, but there wasn't enough time for gentle right now.

After a short moment of searching, Sakura finally found the poison lingering in his veins. It had reached much further than she'd expected, and she had to fight back her frustration when she realized that his heart had already been affected by it and begun to fail.

She desperately pulled as much of the poison out of his body as she could, knowing that she could heal the damage to his heart, but only after the poison was completely gone. Any amount of poison left in his body, even something as small as a grain of table salt, would kill him almost instantly.

"Aiji, please, hold on for me," Sakura murmured loud enough for him to hear, not caring if the people in the room heard her. "I can fix your heart once the poison is extracted, but I need you to hold on until then."

"Thank you," Aiji whispered through labored breathing, the pain in his voice sending Sakura's focus into overdrive as she desperately pulled the poison from his body. She cursed under her breath when she found more poison hidden near his heart and quickly began to pull that out as well until there was finally nothing left.

Sakura moved to stand above Aiji, pressing her hands to his chest just over his heart. She pushed her chakra into his system, trying to unbind the IVS6 segment of the voltage-gated sodium channels as quickly as she possibly could, but she wasn’t quick enough. Before she could heal him fully, she felt Aiji's body going stiff beneath her as the counter wore off and paralysis began to set in faster than she could heal.

"No. No, no, no, no, no," Sakura whispered, her eyes wide and frantic as she pushed her chakra through his system, feeling her stomach drop when his body began to reject her chakra. His body was giving in to the damage the poison had caused; he was going to die.

"No!" Sakura screamed, shoving as much chakra toward his body as she possibly could. She could barely feel the tears streaming down her face as she screamed again, desperately pushing every last bit of chakra toward Aiji's body.

And then suddenly, his body stopped accepting any foreign chakra. His eyes closed slightly as his body stiffened completely from the paralysis the poison caused.

He was dead.

She could hear the voices whispering behind her as she kept trying to force her chakra into his body, but they barely registered. The only thing she could think about was trying to save him, trying to bring him back. She kept going, until the voices behind her stopped and her chakra ran out.

Sakura collapsed onto the hospital floor, her knees smashing into the floor hard enough to bruise, but she didn't notice. Her hands stayed on Aiji’s chest as her head fell onto the bed, sobs wracking her body as she broke down.


	10. Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing and being amazing, as always. ♥

Sakura stared at the wall of beakers and microscopes, her vision blurry as she yawned. She nestled her head more comfortably on her arms as she rested at one of the tables in the research lab. She wasn't sure how long she'd been staring at the wall; the passage of time was so slow and yet before she knew it, the hours were flying by while she was in a daze.

From the other side of the room, she heard the door to the lab open and lifted her head to see Kankuro watching her, the door shutting behind him quietly. His expression was cautious and suspicious, and she tried to smile at him brightly to reassure him, but she knew that her smile was weak. Her eyes were burning from exhaustion, and her body was aching from a combination of lack of sleep and awkward resting positions.

Kankuro sighed and moved further into the room, grabbing a random chair and pulling it up to sit on the other side of the table where she was currently resting. Belatedly, she realized that at some point her chin had lowered to rest on her arms again. She cleared her throat and sat up, leaning her body heavily against the back of the chair.

"Are these your notes from yesterday?" Kankuro asked as he grabbed the stack of papers on the table. Sakura nodded her head once and tried to force her eyes to stay open, finding that it took a lot more effort to lift her chin from her chest than normal.

Kankuro skimmed through the notes, his eyebrows furrowed as he flipped through them. When he reached the fifth page, he raised his eyes and narrowed them on Sakura.

"This is a lot of notes for one day. Did you even go back to the residence for the weekend?" Kankuro asked, placing the papers back onto the table when Sakura didn't respond immediately. "How long has it been since you left the hospital?"

Sakura opened her mouth to reply, but then let it close when she realized that she wasn't entirely sure how long it had been. There were no windows in the lab, so it was almost impossible to figure out the passage of time, especially since the analog clock on the wall didn't tell her whether it was daytime or nighttime. Sure, she'd been out of the lab a few times to go to the cafeteria or use the bathroom, but she hadn't really paid close attention to the windows in the hallways.

"What day is it?"

"It's Monday, Sakura."

Sakura hummed, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to do the math in her head. She'd come back to the lab on a Friday, but even though time had been passing strangely for her, she could still tell that it'd been more than three days. Which meant...

"Ten days, I think?" Sakura asked rather than answered, unsure of her answer even though it made the most sense. Kankuro's lips pressed into a thin line and she offered him an apologetic smile, wanting to change the subject before he could get angry at her. "How has your study of anatomy been going?"

"Muscles are complicated but it's going fine," Kankuro replied passively before leaning his arms on the table, his eyes locking onto her. "Sakura, you need to sleep."

Sakura immediately tensed, her crossed arms tightening over her chest as she glared at him. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"I'm serious," Kankuro responded. "You haven't properly slept in over a week, not since--"

"I know since when," Sakura growled, the exhaustion that had seeped down to her bones pulling at her patience and ripping it apart. "And trust me, I would if I could."

"That's bullshit and we both know it."

"It isn't bullshit," Sakura protested, her voice coming out much weaker than she'd wanted it to. Her chest tightened as everything inside of her began to break, but at this point she was too tired to understand what that breaking feeling meant. "I've tried to sleep, but every time I do, I dream. I see his face and hear his voice THANKING me, as if I did anything to be thanked for. I couldn't save him. He died because I wasn't good enough, but he still THANKED me, Kankuro!"

Sakura’s voice cracked as the tension inside of her burst and spread to every muscle in her body. Her shoulders hunched as the memory of her dreams flashed through her mind, sending a piercing pain straight to her heart. "I hear it every time I try to sleep, and it reminds me of what happened, and I just can't..."

Kankuro moved to her side of the table and wrapped his arms around her without saying anything. There was nothing he could say to make the situation better, and they both knew it.

Sakura looked at all of the papers scattered on the table, her gaze darkening as she realized that these notes, too, would likely be for nothing. None of her notes would help extend the time that the poison wouldn't spread, and nothing could be used to create an actual antidote to make sure no one died again. Maybe her discovering the foxglove was just a random lucky shot that would never happen again. Maybe this was the best that she could do.

"I think you should return to the residence," Kankuro said softly, his arms tightening around her shoulders comfortingly. "These white walls can't be helping you think clearly, and I'm sure you've already gone through all the medical texts here. There are books in the library that we don't have here. Maybe something there will help."

Sakura lifted her eyes to look around the lab, blinking a few times to clear her blurry vision. She really had extended all of her options here, and the bright white walls were beginning to drive her mad. She was stuck, and she knew that she had to look elsewhere to have even the smallest chance of having a breakthrough.

Maybe Kankuro was right. There could be something in the residence that would help. It wasn't exactly likely, but she had overcome worse odds before. Finding a way to delay the poison even for such a short time was something almost everyone around her had deemed impossible. If she could do that, then maybe there was still hope after all...

As if noticing the shift in her, Kankuro pulled back and began to pack her things in the backpack she'd brought with her. Sakura opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly lost track of her thought when a new wave of exhaustion crashed over her. She tried to remember what she’d been trying to say, but before she could, Kankuro had already gathered everything and extended a hand toward her.

"Come on, let's get you back," Kankuro said quietly. Sakura watched him for a moment, and even through her exhaustion she could see the concern that was lining his features despite the fact that he was trying to hide it with a smile.

She grabbed his hand and stood, smiling weakly when he linked their arms together and lead them out of the lab. As they made their way to the residence, it occurred to her that he'd linked their arms so that he'd be able to catch her every time she almost fell--which was more than a few times--without making her feel like she couldn't walk by herself. He'd managed to save her pride while making sure she wouldn't injure herself at the same time.

Sakura turned to watch Kankuro as they walked, which resulted in her tripping over her own feet, but he easily pulled her back upright through their linked arms. He was looking out for her, and beneath the exhaustion that had taken over, she was grateful.

*****

_”So, how are the wife and kids?” Sakura asked, moving into her medic tent from the war. She glanced around the tent for the person she’d asked the question to, smiling when Aiji suddenly appeared in front of her._

_He answered her, but his words didn’t register to her as the tent suddenly went dark. Her vision was completely cut off, and the only thing she could smell was the horrible, rotting stench of dead bodies. Her stomach began to churn just as the scene around her shifted again, this time to the cave she and Kankuro had stopped in when they were traveling to Suna._

_Time seemed to slow as she looked around the cave. It was so dark except for a small section where she could see Kankuro laying by the dead medic’s body. Sakura stepped forward and kept her eyes on the medic, her vision focused on the small puncture wound in the back of their neck where the poison had entered their system._

_Sakura took another step forward just as the trace of poison on the back of the medic’s neck suddenly started flowing onto the ground. She looked down at her feet as the poison spilled over them, and then suddenly the sound of someone choking echoed against the cave walls._

_Her eyes shifted to where the medic and Kankuro had been just a moment ago, but they had both disappeared. In their place was Aiji, laying on a hospital bed like the ones they’d used in the war. He was staring at her with lifeless eyes, his body stiff and pale._

_“Save me,” Aiji said in a weak and broken voice, but his lips never moved. He stayed paralyzed, and then suddenly his skin began marbling and decaying before her eyes. As his body began to bloat, his voice echoed through the cave once more._

_“Thank you, Sakura.”_

_She screamed._

Sakura woke suddenly, her breaths sharp and shallow, feeling as if her heart was being ripped out of her chest. Her eyes darted around the dim room, trying to figure out where she was until her vision locked onto the chandelier above her. She glanced around a little more calmly, her breathing slowing down as she realized that she was in the library of the Kazekage residence.

She pulled herself into a sitting position, groaning as her head pounded against her skull. The clock resting on the coffee table beside the couch she'd been sleeping on revealed that she'd only slept for about two hours, and she could certainly feel it. Every muscle in her body ached desperately, and she was even more drained than she had before she'd fallen asleep. These nightmares were going to be the death of her.

Sakura glanced at the book she'd been reading when she fell asleep and picked it up from the floor, frowning when it took her longer than it should have to understand the words on the cover. There was no way that she was going to be able to focus on reading like this, but she was still restless despite being exhausted. She couldn't just lay here and do nothing, but maybe a short workout would help her wake up enough that she could begin her research again.

She lifted herself from the couch, sending chakra to her feet to keep her balance when she immediately began to sway.

_Get yourself together_ , she told herself, smacking her face a few times in hopes that the pain would wake her up enough to get to the basement.

Sakura kept the chakra in her feet for good measure as she began moving through the hallways and down the stairs, leaning a little more heavily on the banister than she normally would. When she reached the door to the basement, she undid the lock and began to walk down the stairs carefully, keeping her chakra in her hands and feet to keep her stable. She was grateful that her chakra control was still almost flawless even when she was this tired, because the last thing she would want to do was fall down the stairs because the sudden darkness threw her equilibrium off.

She reached the bottom of the stairs safely and began to move along the wall toward the direction she vaguely remembered the light switch being. Granted, she had never actually looked for the light switch, but she was hoping that it would be near where Gaara had always stood after turning the lights on.

_I wonder if he's gotten another taijutsu teacher by now_ , Sakura thought to herself.

She had already been back in the residence for a few days, but she hadn't seen him even once since she'd first locked herself in the lab at the hospital. Most of her time these days was spent holed up in the library, and there were a few times where she'd been visited by the residence's chef and Shin's girlfriend, Yori. She'd continued to make Sakura's portions for breakfast and had brought them up to her before she left for the day more than once, saying that it would be bad to waste food. 

After a few moments of blindly searching for the light switch, her fingers finally touched it and flipped the switch. The basement was quickly engulfed in a soft light and she glanced around, noticing that not much had changed in the last two weeks.

Sakura ran through her routine of pre-workout stretches, taking extra care to not let her lack of balance cause her to fall. After that was done, her body felt good enough to start working out and she felt more alert than she had in ages. She grabbed the punching bag hanging on a stand and moved the entire contraption to the center of the room. 

After giving a few experimental punches to test her strength, she frowned when she realized that the exhaustion was affecting her more than she'd thought it was. Her punches had about half the amount of strength they usually did, but maybe that was a good thing right now. She didn’t have a lot of control over her strength, so being unable to accidentally break the punching bag was probably a good thing.

It wasn’t long before Sakura’s barrage of punches and kicks had worked her into a sweat. When her muscles began to burn uncomfortably, she decided to let herself take a break and slumped to the floor, glancing at the stairs leading to the basement. Working out by herself was never as much fun as working out with someone else. 

She wished Gaara was there.

*****

Sakura blinked hard twice, frowning when the words on the pages in front of her continued to stay out of focus. She squinted and tried to focus on the individual black lines on the white paper, but it was nearly impossible to do so in her current state. She was so exhausted.

Another week had passed since she'd returned to the residence, which made it three full weeks since she'd slept properly. She'd passed out occasionally, but the sleep was always short-lived. The few times she’d managed to sleep longer than an hour, she’d ended up waking up in a cold sweat after another nightmare.

Being a medical ninja, she should have been used to death by now, and she was... to an extent. She was used to people dying before she had a chance to save them, and she was used to people dying because there was literally no way to save them. She’d never experienced the feeling of _almost_ saving someone before.

The poison counter that she'd created had lasted almost long enough to save Aiji. She had almost drawn the poison out in time, and had almost managed to heal the damage to his heart before his body gave in to the poison. _Almost, almost, almost._ She knew that most people would tell her that she tried her best, that it was a valiant attempt, that there was always next time. While she knew that it was logically true, it didn't change what had happened.

She had _almost_ saved him, yes, but he had still died because her poison counter didn't work long enough, because she hadn't drawn the poison out quickly enough. Almost didn't count, because almost wouldn't bring Aiji back to life. His life had slipped away beneath her fingers, and she’d felt the moment his body began rejecting her chakra. He had died because she wasn't good enough. Almost just didn't matter to her anymore.

Sakura bit down hard on her lower lip, the sudden shooting pain enough to bring her out of her downward spiral of thoughts. That was when she noticed the sound of someone knocking near the entrance to the library and lifted her gaze. She'd been expecting Yori-san, since she'd been the only one to visit Sakura in the library so far, so she was surprised when she saw a familiar shock of red hair instead.

Gaara stood in the archway, his demeanor as calm as ever. Sakura felt her body immediately begin to relax in his calming presence as a smile pulled at her lips. She saw a flash of concern enter his expression before it became serene again, as if he was trying not to let her know that he was worried about her.

The moment stretched for a few seconds before Gaara moved further into the library. He paused by the couch across from her before moving around the coffee table and instead sitting beside her. Sakura watched him curiously, her eyes dragging along his face as if drinking him in. Maybe it was the fact that he always seemed to have a calming effect on her, or maybe it was because he had been such a constant presence before she'd disappeared into her research suddenly, but she found her smile pulling more at her lips as the worries in the back of her mind dulled to a low whisper. She had missed him.

"Sakura-san," Gaara began, and Sakura felt her body fully relax as his voice sunk into her skin. Her eyes continued to move over his face, and she wondered if his hair was a little longer, or if she was just imagining it. "The housekeeper informed me today that you haven't slept in your room since you've returned, and I've been instructed to make sure that you sleep today."

Sakura blinked, her mind slowly wrapping itself around his words until she understood them. Her eyebrows knit together as she tilted her head to the side. "No one can order a Kage to do anything, though."

Gaara watched her for a moment before sighing and shaking his head. "I'm concerned about you, Sakura-san."

Sakura blinked owlishly at him, her mouth dropping slightly in surprise. She had never expected Gaara to say something like that in such a straightforward way; he'd always struck her as the type of person to show his concern in subtle ways without actually saying anything. She was so caught off guard that when Gaara stood and extended a hand toward her, she took it and let him help her stand without thinking about it.

Sakura continued to watch him as he turned away and began to walk through the hallways toward her bedroom. She followed him automatically, a faint blush rising on her cheeks when she realized that he hadn't let go of her hand. His fingers were soft and stayed loosely wrapped around her own, as if giving her the option to pull away at any time if she wanted to. She didn't.

When they reached her room, Gaara opened the chakra seal with his other hand and then lead them inside. Sakura sat onto her bed heavily, her bleary vision following him as he let go of her hand and moved toward the bathroom.

The soft bed beneath her combined with Gaara's calming presence was enough to pull a yawn from deep in her lungs. Her eyes squeezed shut, and it took serious effort to force them open again when she heard the bathroom door shut.

Gaara moved toward her, a glass of water in one hand and a tablet of some sort in the other. She frowned, eyeing the tablet curiously before glancing back to Gaara's face, trying to figure out what he was thinking through his expression. It was a futile effort, of course, but she had the feeling she wouldn't have been able to figure it out even if she _had_ been sleeping properly.

"This will give you a dreamless and restful sleep," Gaara said as he held the tablet out to her. Sakura took it cautiously and stared at it, not quite convinced that something so convenient could actually exist. "Kankuro worked with our medicinal department to create it several years ago."

"Why have I never heard about this before?" Sakura asked, taking the glass of water but still unsure of whether or not to trust it. If Kankuro helped make it then it was likely safe, she still hesitated.

"It's quite difficult to create and takes about a week for just one tablet," Gaara replied. Sakura blinked up at him when she heard a hesitation in his voice, her curiosity overriding her sleepiness when she realized that he was looking away from her. "Originally, Kankuro created it for me. It was... difficult, learning how to sleep, at first."

Sakura tilted her head to the side. She had never heard of someone having to _learn_ how to sleep, and she could only guess that it'd happened when he was older since Kankuro had been old enough to help make it. Maybe she would ask more about it later.

Sakura sighed and popped the tablet into her mouth, drinking it down with the glass of water. When she finished the entire glass, she placed it onto the coaster on the bedside table and looked back to Gaara. There was a small and almost sad smile at the edge of his lips as he watched her.

Before she had a chance to think about the meaning of his smile, Sakura yawned again as her body began to grow heavy. The tablet had started to take effect almost immediately, and she stood to pull the covers back and flop onto the bed with a thud before the medicine made her fall asleep completely.

Once she had maneuvered her body to a sleeping position and grabbed the closest pillow to rest her head on, she lifted her eyes to find Gaara staring at her. His gaze was serious and uncertain, and the blush from earlier threaten to rise on her cheeks again when she realized that she'd reached for the pillow that still smelled a little bit like him, as if it were completely natural.

_It's because he calms me down,_ Sakura reasoned with herself, even as she pulled the pillow closer to her face.

"I will be in my room all day, so if you wake up hungry or if you need anything, please come get me," Gaara said quietly.

Sakura nodded her head and smiled before she yawned again. Sleep began edging ever closer, but she stubbornly forced herself to stay awake. She didn't want to fall asleep while Gaara was still in the room, partially because it would be rude, and partially for another reason she couldn't quite figure out. It was lingering in the back of her mind, but the sleepiness made it hard for her to understand it.

Gaara seemed to realize that he was the reason she wasn't sleeping yet, because he grabbed the glass from the bedside table and placed it back by the coffee maker to dry. He moved to the door and undid the seal, opening the door before stopping and turning back to look at her once again.

"Sakura-san?" Gaara asked, his voice tentative. Sakura hummed in response, her eyes watching him through half-closed lids. "Thank you for what you did at the hospital."

Sakura felt a shadow of the frustration that had stayed with her for the last three weeks make itself known. A scowl fell on her lips as she debated telling Gaara the same thing she'd told Kankuro, that she hadn't done anything worth being thanked for, but she found that speaking required far more energy than she could muster.

"I understand why this has affected you so deeply, but you are the reason he made it back alive at all. You are the reason there is hope for next time. Please, don’t forget that."

It was several moments before Sakura realized that Gaara had left the room. Her eyes stayed locked on the door, but her vision was unfocused and she barely noticed anything in front of her. Gaara's words floated through her mind for several minutes before they slowly began to sink in.

Suddenly, Sakura found it hard to breathe. She curled into the covers as a sob broke itself from her throat, and she realized belatedly that tears were streaming down her face for the first time since she'd left the hospital three weeks ago. She sniffled as images of Aiji flashed through her mind, sobbing louder when she heard him in her mind thanking her. The same image that had haunted her for all this time suddenly seemed less horrific as she let Gaara's words mix in with it.

Sakura pulled the covers over her head as the dam of emotions that she'd closed off for three weeks so that she could focus on the poison finally spilled over, bursting as her body trembled. Her fingers clenched the blanket tightly as she finally let herself cry. There was a small voice in the back of her mind telling her that maybe it was okay to begin to forgive herself for what happened to Aiji. The small voice grew louder until it finally poured over her, her sobs growing louder and louder as the physical and mental exhaustion took hold of her.

For the first time in three weeks, Sakura fell asleep and she didn't dream.


	11. Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to the amazing TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing and cheering.

Sakura scanned the books in front of her, making a mental checklist of which ones she hadn't read yet. She pulled out the ones that seemed like they would be useful immediately, but even after searching for an hour, she’d only taken two books. It didn’t seem likely that she would find any answers here, but it definitely beat staying in the lab.

The sound of rustling paper behind her caught her attention and she turned her head to see Gaara placing his paperwork onto the coffee table face down and pick up the book he had started reading, ‘The Art of Love’. He’d decided to take a day away from the office and work from the residence instead, and Sakura had the sneaking suspicion that he was doing it to keep an eye on her. It had only been two days since he’d given her the tablet that helped her sleep, and she was sure that he wanted to make sure she didn’t overwork herself again.

She felt bad for making everyone worry so much, especially since _she_ was supposed to be in Suna to help _them_ , not the other way around. She’d thrown herself into research to avoid having to face what had happened, instead of taking care of herself and dealing with her grief over Aiji’s death in a healthy way. 

If Gaara hadn’t been there to tell her the words she’d needed to hear so much, she would have probably continued to spiral downward. He’d been there for her when she’d most needed support, and she was grateful.

There was a knock from the large archway, and Sakura looked up to see Yori enter the library with a tray of onigiri balanced on one hand, her kitchen apron still tied around her waist. She placed the tray onto the coffee table and straightened her shoulders, sweeping her long black hair to one side as she bowed slightly toward the room.

"Thank you for doing this, Yori-san," Gaara spoke from his place on the couch. Yori simply nodded her head in response.

Sakura placed the books she'd gathered down and moved to the coffee table, picking up an onigiri and taking a bite, grinning when she realized that the filling was sweet honey-coated umeboshi. One of her favorites.

"This is delicious, Yori-chan. Thank you," Sakura beamed, turning her attention to Yori and smiling kindly at her. "I'm sorry that you had to bring food to the library again for me, even though that’s not supposed to be the chef’s job."

"It's quite alright, Sakura-san," Yori replied, the faintest of smiles appearing on her lips.

Sakura’s eyes moved down as she saw something glinting against the light from where Yori stood. Her eyebrows furrowed as she realized that there was a necklace with multiple keys on the chain around Yori's neck.

"What are those for?" Sakura asked, pointing toward the keys when she noticed that Yori's brows were drawn together with confusion.

"Ah, these?" Yori asked, lifting the chain between her fingers and letting the keys jingle against each other pleasantly. "I have to use regular keys to gain access to buildings because I can't use chakra."

Sakura hummed thoughtfully, wondering if maybe Yori's inability to use chakra was similar to Lee's. "That must be inconvenient."

"I don't mind," Yori replied, smiling lightly. Sakura thought that she detected something sad in Yori's voice, but before she had time to think on it, Yori spoke up again. "If you're all right here, I have a few things to finish before I leave for the day."

Sakura nodded her head and smiled, thanking Yori for the food again before moving back to the bookshelf, chewing thoughtfully on the onigiri. Being unable to use chakra in a ninja village, especially one like Suna where they used seals for locks more often than not, must have been tough. Maybe that was why Yori had seemed so cold at first, because she was different from most people. 

It was something Sakura had experienced often when she was younger and constantly being compared to the rest of Team Seven. She'd always been seen as the weak one--the outsider who didn't belong on a team full of raw talent. After Tsunade had taken her under her wing, Sakura had managed to blossom and become someone who could go toe-to-toe with her teammates. Things definitely got easier from then on, but she never quite forgot the feeling of being an outcast.

"You know, I originally thought that Yori-chan was a total ice princess," Sakura said, more to herself than anything.

"What's that?" Gaara asked. She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain it.

"I guess it's someone who's very beautiful, but also very cold and unsociable," Sakura finally answered as she crouched down to look at the bottom shelf of books. "She's actually really sweet though."

"She is," Gaara agreed, his voice sounding mostly indifferent. Sakura's chest tightened suddenly and she frowned, lifting her empty hand and rubbing at the ache, wondering what _that_ was all about.

After a few moments the pain dissipated and she shoved all thoughts of it to the side as she continued to look through the books. She chewed on her lower lip, stubbornly fighting the urge to glance back at Gaara to make sure he didn't notice her reaction. The way she'd been reacting to him recently was certainly suspicious, and she had an idea of why she was reacting like this, but she hoped she was wrong.

She took a deep breath to clear her thoughts, realizing a moment later that she’d been staring blankly at a book that seemed completely out of place in the otherwise organized bookshelf. Curiously, she reacted out to grab the book that had seemingly been shoved as far back into the corner as possibly, pulling it out and coughing at the dust that came with it.

Sakura softly blew the dust covering the cover away, covering her mouth and nose afterward to keep from breathing too much in. She went to read the title of the book and frowned when she realized that the cover was completely blank. Inspection of the spine--which was also blank--revealed that it wasn't an actual book, but a journal bound in brown leather.

She flipped the journal open and glanced behind the front cover, frowning at the simple ‘H. K.’ that had been written neatly in the top left corner. As far as she knew from the history she'd learned while in Suna, there had never been a Kazekage with those initials. So why was this in the library of the Kazekage residence, then?

Sakura’s curiosity overrode the urge to put it back and she began flipping through the pages as she stuffed the rest of the onigiri into her mouth. She made sure not to actively read through it, to respect the privacy of whoever had written this, but she stopped when she noticed a drawing of a chemical structure on one of the pages. The only word written above the drawing was ‘batrachotoxin’, but beneath the drawing was a list of properties. It had 31 carbon atoms, 42 hydrogen atoms, 2 nitrogen atoms, and 6 oxygen atoms.

Sakura frowned as she read over the chemical structure multiple times, her heart dropping in her stomach and nerves standing on edge as she slowly realized that this was the poison she'd been working on for so long. She'd never heard of this poison by name, but she had definitely seen it.

Almost immediately, Sakura sat on the floor where she'd been crouching, folding her legs underneath her and hunching over as she flipped to the next page. Most of the information about its effects were things she already knew, and there was even a mention of foxglove being able to stop the poison temporarily, but it was the next words that sparked her interest the most.

"A possible antidote is tetrodotoxin. It’s also deadly, but it has the opposite effect and works on the same binding site on the voltage-gated sodium channel. More research is needed," Sakura read out loud, her heart leaping out of her chest. She read it over again, tingles of excitement running beneath her skin as she began to go through the rest of the journal.

Only, there was nothing else in the journal about tetrodotoxin. Not a single mention of it, and as she flipped through the journal, she realized that several pages had been ripped out.

Sakura whipped her head around to ask Gaara if he knew anything about the journal, but when her eyes landed on him she noticed something strange. The book was open in his lap as if he'd been reading it and his body was turned to face her, but he was determinedly looking away. Sakura's eyes followed his line of sight, frowning when she realized that he was seemingly just staring at the carpet. She flicked her eyes back to his face, her head tilting to the side when she realized that his body seemed incredibly tense all of a sudden, and his cheeks seemed slightly flushed.

Her eyes lingered on Gaara's cheeks for a moment before she shook her head stubbornly. She could figure out what was going on with Gaara later; this was more important.

"Would you know anyone who previously lived here, or at least had access to get inside, with the initials ‘H. K.’?" Sakura asked, watching carefully as Gaara turned his eyes toward her. He seemed almost... embarrassed.

Gaara shook his head no, his embarrassment seeming to filter away as he became more curious. "Why are you asking?"

Sakura opened her mouth to reply and the immediately snapped it shut, choosing to instead get up from the floor and move to sit beside him on the couch. She scooted closer to him and opened the journal to the page that had caught her attention.

"This is the poison Kankuro and I have been working on for weeks, and this"--she flipped to the next page--"is a list of potential antidotes. It mentions foxglove, which we already used to create the temporary counter, but then it mentions another poison that could be used as a full antidote."

Sakura pointed excitedly at the name of the new poison, smiling as she lifted her gaze to see Gaara's reaction. He wasn't curious or interested like she'd expected, and instead seemed tense and awkward. Sakura frowned, and then realized belatedly that she'd gotten close enough for their arms and legs to touch without meaning to.

She moved away from him and noticed his body immediately begin to relax. Kankuro had mentioned before that Gaara didn't grow up with a lot of human contact, so maybe he was just uncomfortable with someone being so close to him. Sakura smiled apologetically as he looked back at her.

"I'm glad that you've found a lead, but what does this have to do with the person you asked about?"

"This is their journal," Sakura replied, flipping to the first page so that she could show him the initials written in the corner. "I've never heard of this poison before and there's no more information on it in the journal, so I _need_ to find them."

Gaara hummed thoughtfully as he looked at the initials, a frown pulling at his lips as he shook his head. "I don't know this person, but it may have been someone that worked with my father. I'll begin asking around tomorrow."

"Thank you," Sakura grinned, tilting her head to the side when Gaara immediately looked away from her and began to rifle through the pages of his book. For a moment she wondered what he found so interesting about that book in particular, but she quickly cast the thought aside. It wasn't her place to understand why he seemed to enjoy reading 'The Art of Love' so much.

Sakura sighed and leaned back against the couch, preparing to look over the journal more thoroughly when she noticed the extra paper Gaara had been using to write his official Kazekage letters. A thought popped into her mind as she realized that she'd forgotten that there was someone else beside the person who'd written the journal who could potentially help her.

"Do you mind if I use some of your extra paper to write a letter?" Sakura asked. Gaara merely nodded his head in response.

Sakura grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen before moving to sit on the floor, leaning on the coffee table to write. She would have to keep the letter short, because after years of going through paperwork as Hokage, Tsunade had decided to ignore any letters to her that didn't get straight to the point.

_"What do you know about tetrodotoxin and batrachotoxin?"_

Sakura leaned back to look at her simple letter again, fighting the urge to add unnecessary formalities. She sighed and folded the paper into quarters before biting her thumb and forming the hand signals to summon Katsuyu, pressing her hand into the carpet as Katsuyu suddenly appeared.

"Hello, Sakura-sama."

"Hello, Katsuyu-sama," Sakura replied, smiling at the little slug. "Would you mind getting a letter to Tsunade-sama for me?"

"Of course not, Sakura-sama."

Sakura held the neatly folded letter out toward Katsuyu's body, watching with fascination as Katsuyu molded her body around the letter and slowly absorbed it. No matter how many times Sakura saw it happen, it never ceased to amaze her.

"Thank you." Sakura smiled again one last time before Katsuyu poofed away. She then turned her attention back to Gaara. "Thank you for letting me use your materials."

Gaara nodded his head once without looking away from his book. Sakura stood slowly, grabbing another onigiri and the journal before moving to the sofa on the other side of the coffee table. She gracelessly flopped onto it, laying down and taking a bite of the onigiri as she cracked the journal open with the intention of reading it more thoroughly. When she went back to the lab tomorrow, she would need to know as much as possible so she would have something to worth on with Kankuro. She just hoped that Tsunade would have an answer for her by then.

As the hours passed, Sakura went through the journal and found information on more poisons than the ones she was looking for. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything she hadn't known beforehand except for the names of them, but that wasn't exactly going to help her in this situation.

She let out a sigh, leaning her head back against the arm rest and letting her eyes close. Suddenly, the skin on her neck began to tingle as she felt someone looking at her, and she curiously glanced to the side to see Gaara's gaze on her. He had a curious look on his face that Sakura couldn't quite figure out, and 'The Art of Love' open in his lap.

Sakura placed the journal down onto her chest, her confusion growing when she realized that Gaara wasn't looking away. His eyes were locked onto hers, thoughtful, inquisitive, and unwavering. She wasn't sure how to respond to this situation, so she did the only thing she could think of--she smiled.

A long moment passed, and Sakura wondered if maybe the awkwardness in her smile was throwing him off, but then he replied with a smile of his own. Sakura blinked in surprise at how open and inviting this smile was, especially compared to all of the small smiles he'd given her so far. Her body relaxed into the couch as her heart began to flutter... a feeling that stayed with her for the rest of the day.

*****

Sakura shivered, rubbing her hands against her arms to try and generate some heat. She looked away from Kankuro, who was reading through the journal, to glance around the lab in search of a thermostat.

"By the door," Kankuro said gruffly. Sakura glanced toward the door and immediately made a beeline around the tables to the thermostat, patting his shoulder as she passed him.

"Thank you," she whispered, not wanting to speak too loudly and distract him from the notes. She reached the wall and immediately turned the air conditioning down, wondering if the lab being cold was an effect of the seasons slowly changing. Summer was almost over, and even though Suna didn't exactly have a cold autumn and winter, there was still enough of a difference for her to notice the change.

"Why the fuck are there so many fancy names in these notes?" Kankuro grumbled, snapping the journal shut and banging his head against the table. "I feel so dumb right now."

"I'd never heard of those names, either," Sakura replied, sighing with relief when she heard the air conditioning stop. "Neither had Tsunade-sama. If she doesn't know something about a poison, it's definitely not considered common knowledge."

Kankuro groaned in frustration and turned his head to look at her, keeping his head resting on the table. "So you found an awesome lead, but we still don't know anything new?"

"I wouldn't say that," Sakura hummed thoughtfully as she leaned against the wall. "We know that the poison that could possibly be used to cancel the effects of _our_ poison affects the sodium-ion channels. We can start from there, trying to find something that matches that description."

Kankuro returned to banging his head against the table just as someone began knocking on the door. Sakura blinked, glancing through the window and noticing that it was the fluffy-haired girl with the usual basket of herbs. She could see Kankuro waving his hand passively through her peripheral vision, so she opened the door and grabbed the basket before the girl could lose her balance.

"Haruno-san!" the girl squealed, and Sakura stumbled backward at the force of her excitement. "I didn't know you were working in the lab again!"

"It's my first day back," Sakura replied cautiously as she placed the basket onto the table. She stared at the girl for a moment, trying to remember her name and frowning when she realized she couldn't.

"Perfect timing then! Have you eaten lunch yet?" Sakura replied by shaking her head no, blinking in surprise at the bright grin that pulled at the girls lips. "Kankuro-kun!"

Sakura watched as the girl peeked her head into the lab, her voice light and playful. Kankuro replied in the same gruff tone he'd been using since he'd started reading through the journal, replying with a simple, "What, Tsubaki-chan?"

"I'm going to steal Haruno-san for lunch," she replied, and Sakura looked down with confusion, wondering when that had been decided. Kankuro grumbled something inaudible from behind her, which Tsubaki apparently took as a good sign because she grabbed Sakura by the wrist with a surprising amount of strength and began moving down the hallway. "Don't worry, Haruno-san. I'm paying."

Sakura glanced back at Kankuro as the door shut behind her. He still looked grumpy and frustrated, but beneath the purple face paint was a faint blush as his eyes stayed locked on Tsubaki's retreating form. Sakura hummed thoughtfully, smirking to herself as she figured out a way to finally get revenge on Kankuro for tossing her onto his shoulder like a sack of rice all those weeks ago.

Her steps were suddenly lighter as she moved forward, the promise of getting back at Kankuro and the prospect of free food from somewhere other than the cafeteria making the situation much more appealing. She followed Tsubaki through the hospital and into the streets, allowing herself to be swept away by an energetic ball of fluffy auburn hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tetrodotoxin and batrachotoxin are real poisons that I’ve been basing all of my poison stuff on so far while writing this. And I think I forgot to mention this before, but Tsubaki’s appearance is based on Haru Okumura from Persona 5.  
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter~


	12. Everybody Has Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for being amazing friends and betas <3

She had always thought that Naruto was a bit over-dramatic whenever he would declare his love of ramen, but right now, Sakura understood. She slurped down the noodles and groaned with pleasure, wondering how it was possible that there was ramen in Suna that was almost as good as Ichiraku’s. 

Sakura was currently sitting in the back corner of a small restaurant at a table that was cut off from the rest of the dining area. Tsubaki was sitting across from her, eating her own ramen with just as much enthusiasm as she’d had when delivering the herbs to the lab. It hadn’t taken them long to get from the hospital to the restaurant, so they’d made it in time for lunch.

"This is the only place in Suna that has ramen, but it's supposed to be a secret item for regular customers," Tsubaki explained after swallowing her noodles, pausing to take a sip of broth before continuing. "Water for the broth isn't exactly an abundant resource in the desert, you know?"

Sakura nodded her head as she chewed on a piece of pork, letting the quiet settle around them as they continued to eat. She could hear the restaurant's chef yelling from the kitchen since they were right next to the doors, accompanied by the soft hum of other patrons as the lunch rush began to die out.

"What exactly do you do in the hospital, besides delivering herbs?" Sakura asked, blinking in surprise when Tsubaki suddenly grinned.

"I'm a botanist, one of the lead botanists actually," Tsubaki replied, tucking her fluffy auburn hair behind her ears. "I don't like being cooped up in the greenhouse all the time, so I'm always the one who runs the errands."

Sakura hummed in acknowledgement, making a note in the back of her mind to remember that. She sipped at her broth and then noticed someone moving out of the corner of her eyes, her muscles immediately tensing. The man who’d been behind the coffee bar was moving toward them slowly, holding a small plate with a coffee cup on top in each of his hands.

"Oooh, perfect!" Tsubaki squealed, clapping her hands before reaching out to grab one of the cups. "Which beans did you use?"

"Batch B-57, of course," the man replied, smiling gently as he handed Sakura the other cup. Sakura bowed slightly as thanks as she looked him over, wondering if she would be able to pick him out of a crowd. There was nothing about him that stood out except for the kindness in his eyes and a missing canine tooth.

"That's perfect. Thanks Dad," Tsubaki beamed just before taking a sip of the coffee and letting out a contented sigh. Sakura blinked in surprise and glanced between them, but before she could really see the resemblance, the man had walked away and returned to his place behind the coffee bar.

After watching Tsubaki drink for a moment, Sakura brought the cup to her nose and breathed in, almost melting as the scent hit her nose. She could tell that this coffee was strong just from the smell, and when she took a sip her eyes widened in surprise. It was ridiculously smooth and had a flavor profile she'd never experienced in coffee before. There was a hint of vanilla and... was that citrus?

Tsubaki giggled from across the table, bringing Sakura's attention back to the girls face. She was still smiling, but she'd finished her coffee already. "That batch is my favorite, and it's one of the only ones Kankuro-kun will drink from here. He normally complains that our coffee is too bitter."

Sakura thought back to the way Kankuro had been staring at Tsubaki as they'd left the lab and hummed thoughtfully. She could tell that Kankuro liked Tsubaki, and judging from the honorifics they'd both used, she could only assume that there was more to them than just a poisons researcher and a girl who delivered the herbs.

"So... you guys are close, huh?" Sakura asked awkwardly, coughing as she choked on the sip of coffee she'd just taken. She wasn't used to prying information from people in a casual setting--she lacked the subtlety for it, and was usually given the task of punching people instead.

Tsubaki seemed to notice the awkwardness because she tilted her head to the side, her smile faltering as she watched Sakura hesitantly. "We aren't dating, if that's what you mean."

"No, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that," Sakura sputtered as she placed the coffee cup down onto the table harder than she'd intended, shaking her head vehemently and waving her free hand in front of her face. "Kankuro is like a brother to me. I could never see him that way."

Sakura watched as Tsubaki's smile returned to her face, noticing curiously that the other girl seemed almost relieved. She quickly examined the coffee cup to make sure she hadn't damaged it before turning her attention back to Tsubaki's now-relaxed expression.

"I've known Kankuro-kun for most of my life," Tsubaki said softly, a light flush on her cheeks as her smile turned shy. "We were in the academy together until I realized that I'd rather have my hands covered in dirt than have them coated in blood. I left the academy, but we reunited when our families started working together a few years later... He's a good guy."

Sakura smiled gently as she nodded her head, grateful that it seemed like Tsubaki genuinely cared about Kankuro. She'd meant it when she'd said that Kankuro was like a brother to her. Sometimes she wanted to murder him and tie him up with his own damn strings, but most of the time she just wanted him to be happy.

"You know, I really did think you guys were dating because you’re so close," Tsubaki began, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she leaned forward until her body was stretched halfway across the table. "So, is there anyone you _are_ interested in? Maybe I can help you out if they're from Suna."

A flash of red popped into her mind for a split second, but Sakura quickly shook her head in denial, choosing to ignore the way her cheeks immediately began to heat up. "There isn't anyone."

"You're a horrible liar, Haruno-san," Tsubaki giggled, leaning back against her chair and smirking like the cat that ate the canary.

Sakura couldn't think of a proper response, so she just picked up her coffee and finished the last sip, hiding her embarrassed flush behind the ceramic cup. She really had to get a better hold of herself. There was no reason for her to react like that since she really _wasn’t_ interested in anyone. The flash of red that popped into her mind didn’t mean anything, even if it did happen to be the same shade as Gaara’s hair.

After a few long moments of awkward silence--well, awkward for Sakura at least--they finished their food and moved to leave the restaurant. As they reached the front door, Sakura noticed a picture hung on the wall in a fancy gold frame. It seemed out of place in the otherwise cozy establishment, and Sakura was immediately drawn to it.

The picture was of a family, and Sakura realized after a second that it was a picture of Tsubaki's family. She was standing in the center beside her dad and an older woman who was obviously her mother. Off to the side was another woman with the same beautiful auburn hair, but hers was long and curly. She was tall and elegant, almost the complete opposite of Tsubaki's petite and cute build.

"Is that your sister?" Sakura asked as she glanced over at Tsubaki, who merely nodded. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she was."

"Was?" Sakura asked automatically, even though she knew the answer already. No one ever referred to a loved one in past tense if the person was still around. She opened her mouth to apologize for bringing up a sensitive subject, but her words failed her when she noticed Tsubaki’s reaction.

Tsubaki's gaze darkened as her body went stiff. "My sister was murdered while protecting Gaara-san."

Sakura blinked in surprise, immediately noticing the sinister glower on the normally cheerful girl's face. Her voice had almost been a growl, and it was so strange to hear coming from someone who'd been giggling just moments ago.

"Your sister..." Sakura trailed off as she began to piece things together. Tsubaki had mentioned earlier that her and Kankuro's family had begun to work together, and she was comfortable calling Gaara with the -san honorific instead of the usual 'Kazekage-sama' that everyone else seemed to use. That meant...

"Yeah, she was Gaara-san's personal guard. Her death is the entire reason you're here, Haruno-san."

"I'm so--" Sakura began, but Tsubaki quickly cut her off and glared in her direction. Sakura could tell that the vengeful look on her face wasn't being directed at Sakura, but instead at the unseen enemy who'd taken her sister from her.

"I don't need your pity," Tsubaki cut in. "Just please promise me that when you catch the bastard that murdered my sister, you'll make sure they suffer a fate worse than death. I want them to regret everything they've done in their life that lead them to even going near her. I want them to pay."

Sakura couldn't do anything but blink and nod her head. She was so caught off guard by the sudden change in Tsubaki that she didn't know what response she could give except for a confirmation. There were plenty of people around her who tried to be scary and failed, and there were many times where she should have been afraid of someone and wasn't, but the look in Tsubaki's eyes right now was positively terrifying.

"Thank you," Tsubaki whispered, giving off a forced smile and opening the door that lead out of the restaurant. They stepped out into the streets, and Sakura stopped in her tracks when Tsubaki suddenly turned back to her. "Now, let's get you back to the lab before Kankuro-kun loses his mind."

*****

"Do you think we could try mixing the foxglove with other ingredients to increase the duration that it stops the poison?" Sakura asked, frowning as she cautiously touched the petals of the flower in question. They knew now where to focus their experiments because of the journal, but without the knowledge they needed about the tetrodotoxin, it was nearly impossible to truly move forward.

"We could try," Kankuro grumbled, shrugging his shoulder as he pored over the medical texts, looking for any information they'd possibly overlooked. "Tsubaki-chan is supposed to be bringing us new herbs soon, so maybe something there will help."

Sakura straightened her back and glanced in Kankuro's direction. "When is she supposed to deliver the herbs, again?"

"Tomorrow," Kankuro answered, almost immediately. Sakura smirked as she watched him--he was so transparent that she was surprised she could still see him. Kankuro almost never remembered what day of the week it was, and was horrible at remembering anyone else's schedule unless it was something _really_ important to him.

He seemed to sense her eyes on him because he looked up and frowned. "What's that look for?"

"You really have it bad for her, don't you?" Sakura teased, her smirk only growing when Kankuro glared at her. He didn't say anything to deny it though, and instead just went back to flipping through the pages of medical texts with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

Sakura fiddled with an empty petri dish as she let her mind wander, knowing that they wouldn't be able to make any progress until they got the new ingredients they hadn't tried yet. She'd gone to lunch with Tsubaki with the intention of telling her something embarrassing about Kankuro to get revenge on him, but she hadn't been able to do it when she'd realized that Tsubaki probably liked him back. She needed to find another way to get revenge.

The usual methods she used for Naruto, Sai, and Ino wouldn't work with Kankuro. He wasn't squeamish or easily scared, and he was more resilient than a cockroach when it came to almost everything else. The only thing that ever seemed to embarrass him were his own feelings, even more so if they were related to love.

She continued fiddling with the petri dish as she began to formulate a plan that would allow her to get revenge without making herself look like a bad guy. She would have to get Shin to agree to work with her, but he'd been a lot less prickly recently and it wasn't like he'd be inconvenienced by this plan in any way. In fact, he'd probably appreciate it...

Sakura glanced up at the wall and realized that it was almost time for her to go and meet Gaara in front of the Kazekage tower. She began packing her things, placing the journal into her backpack and cleaning up her area before moving to leave. As she reached the door she paused, turning back to face Kankuro with a carefully neutral expression on her face.

"I won't be in the lab tomorrow."

"Why?" Kankuro asked, his voice suspicious as he looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I still feel bad about Shin-san having to cover for me when we figured out the first temporary antidote, so I figured I'd offer to go on patrol tomorrow instead of him," Sakura explained easily, keeping her demeanor as nonchalant as she could make it, but it was getting more difficult. She saw the panic flash through Kankuro's eyes and desperately fought back a grin.

"But tomorrow--"

"That's the point," Sakura said. She stared at him for a moment before finally breaking her calm demeanor and smiling at him as sweetly as possible. "I should probably tell you that Tsubaki-san usually goes out to lunch right after she brings us the herbs and she likes hamburger steak, same as you. One of her biggest pet peeves is when someone stinks, so make sure you smell nice before you ask her out, okay?"

"I can't just ask her out!" Kankuro yelped, his eyes wide.

Sakura let her smile drop and narrowed her eyes, dropping her tone to something much more threatening. "She's a sweet girl, and I wouldn't do this if I thought you had no chance, Kankuro. If you mess this one up, you're going to end up alone with no one but your puppets for the rest of your life."

She watched Kankuro's jaw drop and smirked before turning and walking out of the lab. The door shut dramatically behind her, and she shoved her hands in her pockets as she began moving in the direction of the Kazekage tower. She had a plan to carry out.

*****

Sakura looked out over the village of Suna, leaning against the railing in front of her as she watched the street below her. The sun was just about to rise, and although it was hard to see because of the wall surrounding the village, she was able to see the horizon through the large crack in the wall. Everything was quiet and peaceful, as most of the villagers had already headed inside for the day.

Gaara stood directly to her right, just close enough that she could still see him in her peripheral vision. They'd ended the patrol relatively quickly and returned to the Kazekage tower, where he'd finished his paperwork before asking her if she’d like to watch the sun rise with him. If she'd been with almost anyone else, she would have thought that they were trying to be romantic, but there was no way Gaara would harbor those kinds of feelings for her. He was probably just proud of how beautiful his village was.

"That's interesting," Gaara said quietly, breaking Sakura out of her train of thoughts and drawing her attention to the streets below them. She followed his eyes and saw Kankuro and Tsubaki walking down the otherwise empty streets leisurely. Both of them seemed nervous, but they were also both smiling.

"I can't believe he actually worked up the courage to ask her out. Good for him," Sakura spoke softly, humming as she watched them. She would absolutely tease him relentlessly when she saw him in the lab next week, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t happy for him.

Sakura could feel Gaara's eyes on her as the silence stretched between them. She turned her eyes to meet his, her breath catching slightly when she saw his eyes locked onto her curiously. He didn’t have to speak for her to understand the question in his gaze. Fighting off the sudden burst of nervousness, she smiled at him sheepishly.

"So… First of all, I’m sorry. The real reason I asked to accompany you today in Shin’s place is because I wanted Kankuro to ask her out, since they seemed to like each other. I know that I shouldn’t have come here with selfish reasons, and I’m sorry for that."

Sakura bowed slightly, and when she straightened her shoulders again, Gaara had returned his eyes to the streets below them. A small smile appeared on his lips when Tsubaki giggled loudly enough for them to hear it, even from so far away.

"That doesn't seem like a selfish reason to me, Sakura-san," Gaara said softly, and Sakura felt her mouth gape open slightly as he turned to look at her. There was a sound from the streets below them, but Sakura found herself unable to look away from Gaara.

Time seemed to slow down as she watched him. His gaze was so gentle, and the smile on his lips was so open and honest and perfect that she felt like she could drown in it. There was a fluttering in her chest, and the way his red hair contrasted against the rising sun was enough to take her breath away. She licked her lips absent-mindedly and forced herself to finally look away.

Her eyes fell onto Tsubaki and Kankuro, who had traveled far enough down the street that she couldn’t see them well. Even so, she could easily remember the embarrassed expressions Kankuro had showed her when he talked about Tsubaki, and she wondered how similar his expressions back then would be to the one she was wearing right now. She frowned as she glanced back at Gaara, the gentle fluttering in her chest returning as she let her eyes slowly take in his features as if she was seeing him for the first time.

Was it possible? Did she like Gaara?


	13. Obvious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few things. I know this will disappoint a few people, but just to let you guys know, I don’t plan on writing Gaara’s POV in this story. Writing from just one POV fits my writing style a bit better, and it probably wouldn’t turn out well if I tried to include Gaara’s POV.  
> If anyone is interested, I wrote and posted a smutty Kankuro/Sakura one-shot the other day :D  
> And as always, thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing~

"So, how long do these meetings with his ANBU usually last again?" Sakura asked as she polished her kunai. 

She was currently leaning against the outside of the Kazekage tower, waiting for Gaara to finish speaking with his ANBU about some village bordering Earth Country. That was all she'd managed to hear before he'd asked her and Shin to leave the office and wait outside. That was more than thirty minutes ago.

"Stop complaining. He's not going to leave us out here all day to fry in the sun," Shin scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as he leaned on the wall beside her. "It shouldn't be too much longer."

Sakura sighed and nodded her head, going back to idly playing with her kunai as she let her thoughts drift. She and Kankuro had almost managed to extend the length of the temporary poison counter, and she'd received a letter from Ino telling her to get her butt back to Konoha so that she could be there when Ino finally married Sai, but despite having more important things to think about, her mind always seemed to go back to Gaara these days.

Did she like him? Or was she just grateful for everything he'd done for her? He'd saved her from the desert when she'd gotten heat stroke, and he'd stayed by her side until she’d woken up so that she wouldn't wake up alone in a strange place. When she'd been unable to sleep for weeks without a nightmare, he'd given her the tablet to help give her the first dreamless sleep she'd had in ages, and he'd told her the words she’d needed to hear to heal her heart so that the nightmares would subside on their own. 

There was no doubt in her mind that she was grateful for the things he'd done, but it didn't quite feel like that was all there was to it. Gratitude wouldn't make her eyes linger on him a bit longer than they did on everyone else, and it wouldn't make her heart flutter in her chest any time he smiled in her direction. Gratitude alone didn't explain why she'd clung to the pillows that smelled like him, and it didn't explain this desire to be by his side so that she could see him.

Suddenly a loud noise sounded beside her, making her jump and snapping her out of her thoughts. She gripped onto the kunai she'd been polishing, hissing when the metal bit into her skin and drew blood.

"If I'd been an enemy, you would be dead right now," Shin scolded, clicking his tongue and lowering his hands. The loud sound she'd heard must have been him clapping. "What were you thinking about that was so important that you stopped paying attention to your surroundings?"

"I wasn't thinking about anything," Sakura grumbled as she put her kunai back in her thigh holster, examining the wound on her finger to determine if it was worth healing before deciding that it wasn’t.

"Well, that's a fantastic vote of confidence."

Sakura scowled and glared in Shin's direction, wishing with all of her might that she could punch him without potentially causing more issues for herself. She still had to figure out who was behind the poisonings, and it'd be hard to gather information if Gaara's main personal guard was laid up in the hospital. Maybe instead of the payment she'd receive for helping them catch the person responsible for all of this, she would ask for permission to deck Shin just once. A nice right hook to the jaw sounded fantastic right about now.

"As I was trying to say," Shin continued, his voice calm and undeterred, which just annoyed Sakura even more. "When are you planning on resuming your taijutsu training with Gaara-sama?"

Sakura blinked in surprise, her frustration dissipating as confusion took its place. She tilted her head to the side and asked, "What do you mean?"

"You were training Gaara-sama in taijutsu until a few weeks ago, weren't you?" Shin asked. Sakura nodded her head. "So, when are you planning on resuming the training?"

"I figured he'd have gotten another taijutsu teacher by now," Sakura replied honestly.

"See, that's what he _should_ have done, but he only let me help him practice the throw you were teaching him. He insisted that he didn't need a new teacher because he already had you."

Shin sighed as if the entire situation exhausted him, and Sakura was trying to figure out what to say in response when the man in question emerged from the Kazekage tower. Gaara was as calm and elegant as ever, and Sakura chewed on the inside of her lip as her earlier thoughts came back to her all at once.

Sakura watched as Gaara said something to Shin before turning his gaze to hers. He smiled softly, and Sakura’s lips parted as she stared at him. Had his eyes always been such a nice color?

"Sakura-san? Are you alright?"

Sakura finally managed to look away from Gaara's eyes and instead focused her vision on his shoulder. She would still be able to see his reactions without making a complete fool of herself, but the fact that she had to do this to keep from watching him too closely...

"I'm fine," Sakura replied, shoving her thoughts aside and grinning wide enough that her eyes almost closed. It was impossible to become entranced by something she couldn't see, right?

Gaara didn't respond at first. Sakura could feel him watching her, like he was measuring her reaction and trying to figure something out, before he finally nodded his head, as if accepting her answer. He began moving in the direction of the residence, and Sakura chose to follow slightly behind him instead of walking beside him like she normally would have. Her reactions to him were making it pretty clear where she stood in regards to her feelings toward him, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to really face them yet.

When they reached the Kazekage residence, Gaara opened the door for her and held it open, in the same way he had since she'd first arrived at Suna. This time, however, Sakura was more aware of their close proximity when she passed him. She held her breath as she stepped into the residence, suddenly afraid to know how she would react to his comforting smell.

"I apologize for making you wait outside of the tower for so long," Gaara said as he moved past her toward the staircase. His voice ran along her skin as she became fully aware of what his voice sounded like--it was soft, but with an underlying firmness, like velvet over steel. She'd known before, of course, but for some reason it felt completely different now. "I hope that your conversation with Shin wasn't too frustrating, seeing as the two of you don't get along very well."

Sakura thought about replying and telling him that Shin was a prickly bastard, but she thought better of it. Instead, she let her mind shift to the conversation she'd had with him instead.

"I heard that you never got another taijutsu teacher. Is that true?" She asked, her eyes widening slightly as he nodded his head. "Why?"

"I didn't see the need. I already have a teacher," Gaara replied easily, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sakura watched the back of his head as they began moving through the residence, her thoughts spinning. 

On one hand, she felt bad that she'd dropped the ball on training him for such a long time, but in the back of her mind she was almost happy about it. He could have chosen any other teacher in the span of three weeks, and he'd even asked Shin for help for a short time, but in the end he only wanted her to teach him. Did that maybe mean she was special? Was it possible that he just wanted a reason to be around her more often?

Sakura shook her head quickly from side to side, trying to snap herself out of it. There was no point in reading further into things like that.

"Does that mean you don't want to resume training?" Gaara questioned. Sakura looked up, confused, until she realized that he'd taken her shaking her head as a 'no, you don't already have a teacher’.

"I'm sorry, I was just... thinking about something else," Sakura said quietly, her eyes moving to watch the pictures in the hallway as they began nearing their rooms.

Her gaze locked onto the picture of Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari on the day of Gaara's inauguration and she smiled softly. She hadn't been able to read his expression in the picture before, but now she could tell that he'd been both proud and embarrassed at the time. It was strange how just a few weeks could change so much.

Sakura cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, looking back to Gaara and smiling at him as they paused outside of their rooms. There was no point in over-thinking things right now. No matter what her feelings toward him were, she still wanted to help him.

"I'd be happy to continue with the training whenever you want to start again."

Gaara hummed thoughtfully, and Sakura watched as he looked out of the window before turning his eyes back to her. "It's already quite late, but would tomorrow work for you?"

Sakura nodded her head a little too enthusiastically, her breath catching as he smiled at her once more. She didn't know what was worse for her heart, his eyes or his smile.

"Goodnight, Sakura-san," Gaara said softly as he pressed his chakra into the seal on his door.

"Goodnight," she replied, fully aware of how difficult it was to keep her voice even. If he noticed the tight control she was keeping over her emotions, he didn't say anything and instead just nodded slightly before disappearing into his room.

Sakura followed suit and shut the door to her bedroom behind her, leaning her full body weight against the wood. She took a deep breath to steady herself and then began to go through the routine she usually followed before sleeping. Her limbs seemed more shaky than normal and her nerves were standing on end as her mind went through everything that had happened recently.

By the time Sakura finally laid down in bed, she hadn't calmed down at all. If anything, without moving around and expending energy, she was even more jittery than she had been before. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, wide and alert and yet seeing nothing. There was _no_ way she was going to sleep well tonight.

She thought back to the way Gaara had looked the other day at the Kazekage tower, with his features softly illuminated by the sunrise behind him. She thought back to the way he'd looked when playing video games, his lip sucked into his mouth and eyes narrowed in concentration. She remembered when she'd woken up in Suna and he was beside her as calm and soothing as ever, and she remembered when they’d started training and he'd looked like a normal person for the first time.

As every scene played out in her mind, Sakura felt the heat rise on her face. There was no doubt in her mind that her feelings had definitely evolved, and it was getting more and more difficult to deny what kind of change had started within her.

When she grew tired of the thoughts flowing through her mind, Sakura rolled over so that she was face-down on the bed. She pushed her face into a pillow and screamed, hoping that it would ease the tension and allow her to sleep.

*****

Sakura was a mess.

Screaming hadn't helped her fall asleep at all, so she'd given up and gone to the labs to try and do _something_ productive instead of just staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. Her nerves had resulted in her accidentally breaking three things in the lab before being kicked out by Kankuro, only to end up back where she’d started, unable to sleep for several hours as she thought about starting to train with Gaara again.

Sakura was sitting on the bed, glaring at the door as she tried to reassure herself. There was still the possibility that she'd just been latching onto the kindness he'd shown her, which meant that her feelings for Gaara weren't necessarily romantic. She could have easily just been imagining things, and was probably nervous for nothing.

Just then she heard Gaara clear his throat from the other side of the door, seconds before he knocked. Sakura stared at the door for a moment before taking a deep breath to calm herself down, doing her best to remember that she was probably working herself up for no reason.

Once she was a bit more relaxed, she got up and unlocked the door, slipping into the hallway and shutting the door behind her before uttering a soft, "Good morning."

Sakura watched Gaara's reaction carefully as she smiled at him, relaxing a bit when her heart didn't immediately burst out of her chest. Sure, when he returned her smile she felt her chest flutter, but that was easily explainable. Gaara was an attractive man with an attractive smile; reacting to that didn't automatically mean that she was romantically attracted to him.

“Good morning,” Gaara replied. Sakura watched him for a moment before she realized that he was staring right back. She coughed awkwardly, forcing her eyes to the floor as he spoke up. “Shall we go?”

Sakura nodded her head and followed Gaara through the residence and to the basement, watching the elegant way he moved with fascination. Her eyes moved back to him repeatedly as they began warming up, and she found herself thinking again that casual clothes really did suit him. When she’d first had the thought, it had been a purely innocent observation. Now, however, she was noticing things she never would have paid attention to before, like the way the black t-shirt emphasized his lean chest muscles, and the way the slight flush of his cheeks made it seem like he was blushing.

Sakura forcefully pulled herself away from her thoughts as they finished warming up, determined not to let herself get in the way of their training.

“Let me see what you’ve been working on,” Sakura said, relaxing as Gaara immediately moved into a defensive stance. If there was one thing that always distracted her from her thoughts, it was fighting.

She ran forward, waiting until the last possible second to pull her fist back, sending it flying toward him. He managed to dodge and grab her just in time to avoid her punch. With one hand gripping her arm and the other gripping the front of her shirt, he moved to fall backward, using her momentum to throw her.

Sakura flew over his head, managing to place protective chakra on her back and skull just before she landed on the ground. The force of her fall caused the breath to leave her lungs, and she realized that if she hadn't used her chakra in time, she would have definitely gotten hurt. She waited a few moments to gather her breath before sitting up, looking toward him to find that he'd already stood up.

“You're a very fast learner. I'm impressed,” Sakura said, smiling up at Gaara. 

“I have a good teacher,” he replied, mirroring her smile, and suddenly her heart rate sped up for reasons she knew had nothing to do with training.

When Gaara offered her a hand to help her up, she took it, trying desperately not to think about how she'd much rather he held her hand for other reasons.

“Let's keep going then,” Sakura said. Gaara nodded his head in response before shifting into a defensive stance.

Sakura attacked again, this time moving as if she had a weapon in her hand that she planned to strike with. She moved in, and before her imaginary weapon would have hit him, he'd blocked her arm completely and thrown her once again. 

When Sakura got back up, she didn't give him time to move into a defensive stance before attacking. She sent a flurry of kicks and punches in his direction, forcing him to fight back. She needed to see how he would fight when he didn't know what was going to happen.

Gaara stepped back and Sakura followed him, aiming a punch at his side. She realized a moment too late that she'd moved too far into his zone, and before she knew it he was using the small opening she'd left. 

Sakura went flying over his head once again, but this time he followed her momentum after throwing her to the ground. His fist still gripped the front of her shirt as he landed on top of her, straddling her chest with his second hand outstretched toward her neck. If this had been an actual fight, he could have ended it right then.

“I didn't teach you that,” was the only thing Sakura could think to say.

“You mentioned it when you taught me the throw initially.”

“Did you practice it with Shin?” Sakura asked, knowing that the surprise was showing through her voice. Gaara nodded. “I have to say, I was not expecting this.”

Gaara didn't answer and instead smiled knowingly, and if Sakura's cheeks weren't already flushed from the physical activity, they definitely would have turned bright red. His smile was apparently a weakness of hers, and as she became aware of this, she also became aware of the fact that he was still straddling her.

Sakura coughed awkwardly. “Let's take a small break.”

Gaara nodded and climbed off of her, again holding a hand out to help her stand. She took it, and this time she was keenly aware of how soft and warm his skin really was. 

Sakura moved to the other side of the room and leaned heavily against the wall. She slid down it, noticing Gaara do the same to her right as she grabbed both of their water bottles from her left. After figuring out which one was Gaara's, she handed it to him, wondering for a moment if he was sitting closer than he usually did or if it was just her imagination. Given how conscious she'd been of him recently, it was very likely the latter option.

"Thank you," Gaara said quietly as he took the water bottle. Sakura watched as he opened it and took a sip before doing the same, all the while keeping her eyes locked onto him.

Sakura couldn't stop herself from watching the small beads of sweat that slid down his neck. When they gathered in the collar of his shirt, she lifted her eyes just in time to see him push his hair back with his fingers. There was something about the flush on his cheeks and the sweat on his forehead that made it hard for her to tear her eyes away from him.

Gaara took his fingers out of his hair, and Sakura watched as almost all of it fell back over his forehead in a messy but attractive way. Then she noticed the small clump of hair that hadn't fallen back down the way it was supposed to and was now sticking out awkwardly. It was so out of place on him that she immediately burst into laughter, hiding her lips behind her hand.

"What's so funny?" Gaara asked. Sakura took a moment to gather herself, only starting to reply once she'd finally stopped laughing.

"Most of the time, you seem so elegant and graceful, as if you're untouchable or something. But now"--Sakura reached out to fix the pieces of hair that were standing up--"you seem almost like a normal person."

The silence that fell around them was heavy, and Sakura drew her hand back quickly when she realized what she'd done. She was grateful that they'd been sparring just moments ago, because it would be easy to explain the blush on her cheeks away as a flush from the workout.

"Is that really how I come off?" Gaara asked after a moment, his voice quiet and contemplative.

Sakura nodded her head. "Yeah. I mean, a lot of times I find myself wishing that I could be as graceful as you are. I tend to just kind of barrel through everything."

Gaara was quiet for a moment, but then he turned to look at her once again and smiled gently. Sakura could feel her heart rate speeding up. "You're graceful in your own way, Sakura-san."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"When you fight, it becomes quite obvious how much time and effort you've put into your form. Your movements are always fluid and elegant, and it's really quite beautiful to watch," Gaara replied simply, his voice unaffected as if he handed out compliments like those all the time. He was still watching her, his eyes as kind and gentle as ever, but it almost felt like there was something else hiding beneath his gaze now.

Sakura forced herself to look away, quickly drinking down the rest of her water as she felt her body heat with embarrassment. No one had ever called her fighting beautiful, and most of the time the people around her seemed to focus on her chakra-enhanced abilities when complimenting her. Not many people noticed the amount of work she put into her form, so to hear it coming from someone as strong as Gaara was as gratifying as it was unexpected. 

She glanced toward Gaara subtly, studying his profile and paying close attention to her reactions. As she looked him up and down, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach begin to dance, gently at first but quickening their pace with every moment that passed. Slowly, the realization began to sink in that she wasn't reacting just to his words, or his actions, or his appearance. She was reacting to everything that made Gaara who he was; there was just something about him that kept pulling her in.

_Maybe I really do like him,_ Sakura thought to herself, and when she felt the smile pull at her lips at the thought, she realized that there was no ‘maybe' about it. She liked him.

The idea of liking Gaara was less awkward once it fully sank in than she'd expected. She realized that along with the butterflies now fluttering wildly in her stomach, there was also a sense of calm that had begun to settle in. Gaara was one of the kindest people she'd ever known, so even though she knew that nothing would ever come of her feelings for him, she also knew that she could be content with who her mind and heart had chosen. 

"Well, let's continue training," Sakura said as she stood up, stretching her arms over her head and smiling in Gaara's direction. 

Gaara watched her curiously for a moment before he smiled back, nodding his head and moving to stand beside her. Looking at his smile, Sakura wasn’t sure why it had taken her so long to admit what her feelings toward Gaara were, when they were so obvious.


	14. False Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing~ and thank you to everyone who has been leaving reviews/comments. They honestly help keep me writing this, and if it wasn't for you guys, I probably would have given up by now.

A week had passed since Sakura finally realized what her feelings toward Gaara really were. It had been a struggle to keep her reactions from showing it, especially since they’d resumed their daily training. She knew that she wasn't the greatest at hiding her emotions from others, but she was determined to keep Gaara from finding out.

Since coming to Suna, they'd started developing a friendship of sorts. She'd come to trust him and enjoy his company more than she'd ever thought possible, and he seemed to smile more openly around her as well. The last thing Sakura wanted to do was destroy that by making her feelings obvious and making things awkward.

She let out a yawn as she continued grinding the foxglove in the mortar, her thoughts drifting as she worked on the mindless task. They were getting close to extending the time of the temporary poison counter, but hadn't quite had success yet.

"Hey, Sakura-chan," Kankuro sang from across the room, his voice playful and mischievous. Sakura stopped what she was doing and looked up, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. He almost never used the -chan honorific for her unless he had something up his sleeve that he knew she wouldn't like. "What's going on with you and Gaara recently?"

Sakura almost dropped the mortar she was holding, the question taking her by surprise. She fought to keep a straight face, but she knew that Kankuro would be able to read her embarrassment even from across the room. He was the type of person who thrived on making other people uncomfortable--but that didn't mean she had to let him win so easily. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," She responded tersely as she began to grind the foxglove again, making sure she didn't let the extra tension in her body break the pestle she was holding.

"You guys just seem much closer recently. I thought there may be something you weren't telling me, that's all," Kankuro answered, his voice as innocent as a murderer.

"There's nothing."

"Is that so?" Kankuro asked, humming mischievously, the smirk stretching across his lips as he watched her. "Maybe I'll have to ask Gaara what he thinks, since _you_ still seem to be swimming in denial river."

"He would say the same thing," Sakura bit out, looking away from Kankuro to glare into the mortar. "There's nothing going on. We're just training again."

Kankuro clicked his tongue and sighed dramatically. "After I went through the effort of finding that book for him and literally dropping it onto his head, too. What a waste."

Sakura frowned as she added another foxglove flower to the mortar and began grinding it with the others. She had seen Gaara reading 'The Art of Love' again recently, but she didn't think that had anything to do with her.

Of course, it wasn't hard to figure out what Kankuro was trying to imply, but she quickly shoved the idea aside when she realized how ridiculous it was. There was no way that Gaara would feel anything even remotely romantic toward her. He was kind to everyone, and he’d never shown any interest in her as anything but a friend. She didn't want to get her hopes up to be crushed later on because of something Kankuro decided to say as a joke.

Before Kankuro had the chance to say anything else meant to fluster her, she quickly fired off with, "What about you and Tsubaki-san, hmm?" 

Sakura smirked as she looked up to see Kankuro glaring at her with one of his most deadly looks. He didn't answer her.

"Should I just ask Tsubaki-san what's going on with you two when she comes to deliver the herbs in an hour?"

"Don't you dare," Kankuro growled, his eyes darkening.

"Oh?" Sakura snickered. "Maybe I'll go out to lunch with her again today. I'm sure she'd be open to some girl talk, and I _am_ pretty curious about that giggle I heard you make when you were with her a week ago..."

"Fine, fine, fine!" Kankuro yelled, slamming his fist onto the work table, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I won't say anything to Gaara if you don't ask her anything either."

"Deal."

Sakura grinned, choosing not to tell Kankuro that she'd already gotten all of the dirty details from Tsubaki a few days ago. Having more blackmail on Kankuro was never a bad thing.

"How's your study of medical jutsu going?" She asked after a long moment of silence. 

"Faster than expected, apparently," Kankuro replied easily, shrugging his shoulders. Sakura watched as he dropped a bit of synthesized poison into the chemical composition he'd been working on. 

"You already have impeccable chakra control because of your puppeteer jutsu, and you have a good understanding of anatomy because of your poison knowledge. I'm honestly just surprised that no one suggested that you learn medical jutsu before this."

“Not everyone thinks outside the box like you,” Kankuro said, and for a second Sakura thought he was actually complimenting her until he looked up with a wolfish grin. “By that, I mean you're weird.”

Sakura threw the closest non-lethal thing at her disposal in his direction, laughing as the book smacked him right in the face. She ducked as he threw it right back at her, sticking her tongue out at him before returning to her work.

*****

Sakura placed her coffee mug down to dry after she finished rinsing it off. She was just about ready to head to the basement to train with Gaara for the day, even though it had taken her longer than normal to get ready. Kankuro asking her what was going on with them the other day had messed her up more than she thought it would, and she couldn't help but feel nervous. As she began to reach for her baggy workout shirt, she heard a knock from the door and moved to answer it.

"Good morning," Sakura said as she opened the door, her brow furrowing in confusion when she realized that Gaara was wearing his long coat over his usual workout shirt.

"Good morning," Gaara replied calmly. "Sakura-san, would you mind if we canceled training for the day?"

"I don't mind," Sakura murmured, her eyes quickly darting up and down Gaara's form. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm well," Gaara said, hesitating before he spoke again. "I believe I may have found someone who knows the original owner of your poison journal."

"Really?!" Sakura gasped, her lips quickly pulling into a wide grin. Maybe this was finally the break they'd been looking for.

"They're waiting for us at Shin-san's house right now." Gaara smiled softly, his eyes flickering with amusement as he watched her. 

Sakura's chest tightened as her eyes lingered on his smile that she'd grown to enjoy so much, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. She lifted her eyes to meet his, and froze when she noticed the curiosity in his gaze, as if he'd noticed her reaction and was trying to figure it out.

"I-I'll be right back," Sakura stammered before darting back into her room, leaning against the door and taking a deep and calming breath.

_So much for not being obvious_ , Sakura thought to herself, scowling a little as she pressed her face into her hands. Once she'd calmed down a bit, she quickly moved around the room and threw on clothes that were less revealing than her workout gear.

She took an extra moment to make sure she was calm, and then returned to the hallway and locked her bedroom door behind her. After exchanging small smiles, they began walking through the residence until they were outside.

Sakura followed Gaara as they walked two houses down to Shin's. The entire time, it felt like little bolts of electricity were running under her skin as Sakura began to wonder who they were going to meet, and if they would be able to introduce her to the person who wrote the journal.

When they reached Shin's home, Gaara unlocked and opened the door for her. Sakura stepped inside and began toeing off her shoes when she noticed Gaara doing the same to her side, and then followed him through the halls, her eyes wandering around Shin's home. It was filled with the same dark wood and muted yellows as most of Suna, but it was much more cozy than the Kazekage residence was. The same wood and color scheme somehow managed to seem comforting here, while at the residence it always gave off a more regal and rich feeling.

There were pictures hanging all over the walls of what she could only assume was Shin's family. They all shared the same tan skin and brown hair, and their smiles immediately reminded her of the one she’d seen Shin wearing almost two months ago while greeting his girlfriend, Yori. Sakura hadn’t seen him smile even once since then, but she still remembered it because of how out of place it’d seemed.

When they finally reached the living room, Sakura’s eyes scanned the room full of the same color pattern, instantly locking onto the plants by the window. The bright green stood out against the otherwise soothing colors, and she noticed Yori standing by the window, gazing out of it calmly.

As if sensing eyes on her, Yori looked up and they caught each other's gaze. Sakura smiled and held her hand up to wave slightly, watching as Yori did the same after tucking her long black hair behind her ear.

Sakura's attention was pulled away when she heard the sound of quiet laughter. She shifted her eyes to the center of the room where Shin was talking quietly with an older man with grey hair. Sakura frowned as her eyes narrowed in on the man--she knew she recognized him, but from where?

"Amano-san, thank you for coming," Gaara said, his voice calm and professional as he bowed.

Sakura let the name roll around in her mind as she tried to figure out where she'd heard it before, until the man turned to face them and she suddenly remembered who he was. 

Amano-san was the man who'd bumped into Gaara six weeks ago in the stairwell of the Kazekage tower. It had been right after the first time she'd gone around the village with Gaara as he talked to his people. That was when she'd first found out that Gaara could manipulate his sand at will, since he'd stopped it from putting a barrier between himself and Amano-san in case it hurt him. It was the day before they'd started training together, and it felt like a lifetime ago.

She remembered thinking that he may have worked in the Kazekage tower during the previous regime because of the way he'd immediately reacted in fear when he'd bumped into Gaara. If he was here as a possible lead on the mysterious journal, then maybe she'd been right. 

"Of course, Kazekage-sama," Amano said, bowing toward them. When he lifted his head, he caught Sakura's eye and smiled. "Haruno-san, it's an honor to meet you. I apologize for not properly greeting you last time."

"Please don't worry about it, Amano-san. I didn't greet you properly back then, either," Sakura replied, bowing slightly and observing him as she stood straight again. He was definitely up there in age, possibly in his 60's or 70’s, and he didn't seem to be an active duty ninja, if his build was anything to go by.

Amano smiled kindly and then sat back in his chair beside Shin. Sakura nodded slightly toward Shin who returned the gesture, before she took one of the only open seats on a small loveseat, fighting the urge to squirm awkwardly when Gaara sat beside her.

Not only was it strange to be inside of Shin's house when he was still cold toward her more often than not, but she was sitting _way_ too close to Gaara. She could faintly smell his familiar and comforting scent, and their legs were so close together that she could practically feel his body heat pressing against her. It was distracting, to say the least.

Shin cleared his throat loudly, and Sakura watched as Yori began to leave the room. They waved slightly at each other once more before Sakura turned her attention back to the other people in the room.

"I hear you have questions about the Yondaime Kazekage and the people around him?" Amano asked. 

Sakura nodded her head slowly and shifted her leg so that it was further away from Gaara's, so that she wouldn't become distracted. This was a moment that could make or break her entire mission; she needed to focus.

"Would you happen to know of anyone who would have had access to the Kazekage residence with the initials H.K.?" Sakura asked, choosing to omit any information about the journal or why she was asking about them. 

She knew that her first instinct was always to try people at face value, but she had to remind herself that Amano was a potential suspect. He seemed friendly enough, but he was able to move around the Kazekage tower easily and probably knew the layout inside and out.

"H.K.?" Amano questioned, humming thoughtfully when Sakura nodded. She watched as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. "The only person I can think of would be Hoki Katsuo."

Sakura fought off a smile and somehow managed to keep her expression carefully neutral despite the excitement that had begun tingling against her skin. She immediately recognized the Hoki name as one of the most infamous clans in Suna. They were known for being well-versed in medical jutsu, so it wasn't a far stretch to think that someone from their clan could have a wealth of knowledge on poisons.

"Would it be possible to meet him?" Sakura asked, after clearing her throat. It was so hard to stay relaxed right now--she finally had the name of the person who had likely written the journal. If she could meet them, they could tell her more about the tetrodotoxin, and use that information to create an actual antidote.

"I'm afraid not," Amano said quietly, shaking his head.

Sakura frowned, the hopeful feelings inside of her quickly deflating. "Why?"

She watched as Amano glanced toward Gaara, and saw Gaara nod once out of the corner of her eye. Amano sighed and leaned forward, his brows furrowed as if he was trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words.

"Hoki Katsuo was one of the closest bodyguards to the Yondaime Kazekage, but after the failed attack on Konoha, people found out that he'd had a major role in convincing the Kazekage to order the attack. He was also the only bodyguard to survive when Orochimaru murdered the other guards, but after the failed invasion he just... disappeared."

"How does someone like that disappear?" Sakura asked, her frown deepening.

"The Council ordered for him to be executed for treason," Gaara spoke softly from beside her. Sakura glanced toward him. "I became aware of the situation after taking up the title of Kazekage, but I never knew the name of the guard until now."

Sakura watched Gaara for a moment before sighing, lowering her chin as she stared at the coffee table in front of her. Her hands slowly clenched into fists so tight she could feel her nails biting into her skin. This was the biggest potential lead they'd had since she'd come to Suna, but it had only lead to yet another dead end.

"Do you have any more questions, Haruno-san?" Amano asked from across the table. Sakura knew that she couldn't unveil more information about the poison to someone she didn't know if she could trust, which meant she couldn't ask about the thing that really mattered--the poison. 

Sakura shook her head and took a deep breath to steady herself before looking up and plastering a smile onto her lips. "No. Thank you, Amano-san."

"I'm very sorry that I could not help more," Amano said softly, a gentle smile on his lips as he stood from his chair and bowed. "If you'll forgive me, I must be off now."

Sakura nodded her head and stood to return Amano's bow, keeping the fake smile on her lips until he'd left the room. She wasn't sure how long she stood there silently lost in her thoughts, but after some measure of time had passed, she heard Gaara's voice hum quietly from beside her.

"We should be going as well."

"Alright," Shin replied, pausing for a moment as his eyes shifted to Sakura, his gaze cautious and thoughtful. He didn't say anything else though, and instead just watched as they left the room.

Sakura followed Gaara through the unfamiliar house quietly as she became lost in her own thoughts, barely recognizing what she was doing. She managed to put her shoes back on and walk back to the residence without thinking about it, remaining quiet the entire way back to the residence.

“Are you alright?”

Sakura blinked, lifting her head to see Gaara's eyes on her. They'd reached their bedroom doors at some point while she'd been distracted.

“I'm okay,” she responded, but she knew from the worried look in Gaara's eyes that he didn't believe her. She smiled weakly. “It's just… frustrating.”

Gaara regarded her quietly for a moment, and then his gaze softened. “I understand.”

Sakura watched him press his chakra into the seal on his door, before realizing that there was something she’d forgotten to tell him. She’d been so focused on the results--or lackthereof--of the meeting that it’d completely slipped her mind. 

“Thank you, for setting the meeting up.”

Gaara turned to her and smiled softly, his presence as calm as ever and helping her relax. “You’re quite welcome, Sakura-san.” He paused and seemed to consider his words before speaking up again, “If you need anything, please contact me. There are still a few hours until I go around the village with Shin.”

Sakura nodded and watched as he went into his room, sighing softly as she opened the door to her room and entered. She sat down on the small sofa in her room and leaned forward, her elbows digging into her knees and face pressed into her hands. She'd been so excited to learn more about the poison, to learn more about the person who knew more about poisons than she did, but everything she'd heard tonight had begun to slowly crush the hopes she'd had since finding the journal.

Sakura sighed and closed her eyes as the frustration poured into her. The original owner of the journal was dead. If she couldn't find anyone else who knew anything about tetrodotoxin, then a full antidote would probably be impossible to create. The only thing that she could do at this point was continue to work on extending the temporary poison counter and hope that it would be enough.

She was right back where she’d started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know there wasn't a lot of Gaara in this chapter but I promise that there will be plenty of him in the next chapter.  
> Amano was from chapter 6 (because I like to have everything tie in and have more importance than I make obvious) and the Hoki clan is an actual clan from Gaara Hiden. I think that's basically all I had to say about this chapter so I hope you guys enjoyed it.


	15. Can't Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur and cospitente for beta’ing.

It was late afternoon when Sakura finally returned to the residence after spending all night and most of the day in the lab with Kankuro. She was surprised that she'd remembered to contact Shin and asked him to escort Gaara back home, considering how exhausted she was.

Sakura entered her bedroom and flipped the switch to her coffee pot on, listening to the water gurgle as she lazily undressed and then threw on her workout gear, leaving her hip pouch on. There was only about an hour until she had to meet Gaara for training, and she didn't think she'd be able to wake up if she laid down for a nap right now. She could always take a nap later on if she was too tired to properly function, but for now she would be fine after having some caffeine.

She added a bit of sugar to the coffee once it had finished brewing and drank it down, humming as the rush of caffeine kicked in. After cleaning the coffee mug and placing it upside-down to dry, she glanced toward the clock on the wall and wondered if she should go wake Gaara up. There was only a half hour until he usually woke her up, so maybe he would be awake already.

Sakura moved into the hallway and knocked on Gaara's bedroom door, frowning when she heard him groan through the door. She barely made out the sound of a light switch being flipped and chewed on her lower lip, wondering if maybe she'd woken him up too early after all.

A few moments later, the door to Gaara's room opened and Sakura's mouth opened slightly as she stared. She could tell from the little bit of exposed skin under his burgundy robe that he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath of it, though it seemed like he was at least wearing pants. Her eyes moved up and down his form, wondering what he would look like if he wasn't wearing the robe.

"Sakura-san?"

Sakura blinked when she heard her name, her eyes darting up to Gaara's face and her cheeks flushing from embarrassment. Maybe she was more tired than she thought, if she was openly staring at Gaara while de-robing him in her mind when he was literally right in front of her.

"Sorry," she mumbled, licking her lips and smiling awkwardly. "I'm sorry I didn't escort you back last night."

"It's quite alright," Gaara replied easily, yawning at the end of his words and rubbing his eyes.

The flush on Sakura's face deepened as she realized how attractive he was to her right now. Gaara looked the best when he was relaxed, and she found it both endearing and amusing that behind him, she could see that he'd arranged his bed sheets neatly before opening the door, despite how tired he obviously was.

As Gaara combed his hair with his fingers, Sakura remembered the way she'd tried to fix it when they'd taken a break from training the other day. It looked just as soft right now as it had felt back then, and she clenched her hand into a fist to keep herself from reaching up and touching it again.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Sakura managed to tear her eyes away from Gaara's hair. Her gaze shifted back to his face, and a small shiver ran down her spine when she realized that he'd been staring at her. The look in his eyes was curious, as if he was trying to figure out why she'd been reacting so strangely.

"I-Um... Right! The poison counter! We doubled the time it would stop the poison from spreading," Sakura began, digging into her hip pouch to grab a capped syringe, trying to ignore the way her hands were shaking slightly. "Kankuro already brought the rest of them to your office, and there were more than enough for your medics this time, so please take this one for yourself."

"I'm sure I'll be alright without it, Sakura-san."

"I know, but it would really make me feel better if you kept one with you just in case," Sakura said quietly, chewing the inside of her lip as she watched him carefully. "Please, take it."

Gaara kept his eyes on her for a long moment before nodding his head. He reached out to take the capped syringe from her hand, and Sakura felt a small jolt of electricity run through her as his fingertips touched her hand. It almost felt like his fingertips lingered on her skin, but she quickly threw that thought away and stepped back so that she was in the center of the hallway. Her eyes slipped down to his exposed collarbone and she gulped, knowing that she had to get out of there and fast.

"I'll be in the basement warming up, but please take your time getting ready, okay?"

Gaara had barely finished nodding when Sakura turned and began heading down the hallway, pressing her hands against her face to cool down her heated cheeks. She was suddenly regretting not taking the nap when she'd had the chance, because it seemed like being tired was amplifying every emotion that passed through her. At least, that was the only explanation she could come up with without thinking about it too deeply.

As she neared the end of the hallway, Sakura glanced back and immediately froze when she noticed that Gaara was still standing by his bedroom door. His eyes were watching her closely, with that same curious look in them. Did he know? Was he starting to figure it out?

Sakura tore her eyes away and turned down the corner, lightly smacking her face a few times when she was out of sight to gather her wits about her. She couldn’t let Gaara figure out how she felt about him. She was here on a mission, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her working relationship with the person she was supposed to be protecting. 

Sakura reached the basement quickly, having speed-walked through the rest of the residence in her haste to get away from the current source of her embarrassment. After turning the light on, she began to start her normal warm-up exercises, grateful to get her body moving so that she could focus on that instead of the thoughts running through her mind.

It didn't take long for Gaara to join her, and when her eyes moved to the bottom of the stairs where he stood, a smile slowly pulled itself across her lips. His hair was still messy and his clothing looked like it'd been pulled on haphazardly, as if he'd rushed to get ready so that he could join her more quickly. Her heart began to flutter in her chest as he smiled awkwardly in her direction, and she realized that there was really no going back from here.

"You should start warming up," Sakura said in the calmest voice she could muster. She watched as Gaara did what she suggested, fighting back a giggle when he stumbled a little bit.

_Stop it, already,_ she told herself. No matter how normal he seemed right now, he was still the Kazekage of Suna. Yeah, maybe he was within reach, but that was only literally. Their places in life would never match up, and there was nowhere for her feelings to go.

When all of this was over, she would go back to Konoha. It was her home, and it was where her family and friends were. There was no way she would be able to stay in Suna permanently, and Gaara obviously wouldn't be able to leave Suna because of his obligation to the village. Even if she revealed her feelings and he somehow, miraculously, reciprocated, there was no way for anything between them to last long-term.

If her feelings were just a playful crush, and if Gaara wasn't such a serious person, maybe things would be different. Maybe she'd be able to have a relationship with him while she was in Suna and then go their separate ways when the mission was solved. But that wasn't the situation, and she knew that there was no way for her to reasonably act on her feelings without having it end horribly.

Sakura wouldn't deny her feelings, but she wouldn't reveal them, either. She would just like him quietly while staying by his side and never let him, or anyone else, know.

*****

Sakura woke up suddenly, sitting up in bed, her eyes wide and breaths quick, with no idea why she'd woken up.

Her eyes scanned her bedroom quickly, landing on the connected seals and breathing a sigh of relief when she realized that they hadn't been activated. There wasn't an intruder, so maybe she'd just been having a bad dream that she couldn't remember. Maybe there was a loud sound from outside that had woken her up.

Sakura continued to look around the room a little more calmly, frowning when she noticed the sunlight coming into the room from a small crack in her curtains. Judging from how much sunlight there was, she could only assume that it was still afternoon but definitely before she usually woke up for training.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling, the crease between her eyebrows only deepening. She wanted to go back to sleep, but her stomach felt like it was coated in lead and there was a strange prickling sensation on her arms that she couldn't seem to shake. Something was wrong.

Sakura tossed the blankets aside and jumped out of bed, quickly pulling on a pair of pants. Her t-shirt for sleeping was across the room on the small sofa, so she didn't bother covering her tank top and instead pulled the curtains back to look out of the window.

It was definitely early afternoon right now, and Suna was completely silent as the sunlight beat down on the village. She couldn't see any movement and didn't notice anything suspicious, so she moved to turn back to her room. Just as she began to pull the curtain back over the window, her eyes caught a glimpse of movement from the balcony near Gaara's room.

Sakura's frown deepened as she slowly reached down to grab her kunai that was resting on the table beside the balcony door, gripping it tight in her fist as she slipped onto the balcony quietly. Her senses were on high alert as she shut and locked her door behind her, the heavy lead feeling in her stomach growing worse when she realized that the movement she'd seen was Gaara's balcony door open and moving in the wind.

Sakura crouched low and kept her back to the wall as she slowly moved toward Gaara's room, licking her lips as she peeked her head into the room, hoping that he'd just opened the door to enjoy some wind and sun. She quickly scanned his room and felt her heart leap into her throat when she realized that he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Shit," Sakura cursed quietly as she moved into his room, staying as low to the ground as she possibly could. At first, she didn't notice anything suspicious about the room other than the door left open, but a quick double take drew her eyes to the blankets on the bed.

Gaara was the type of person who always made his bed after getting out of it, even if it was just tossing the blanket back into place. She'd seen it just a few days ago when he'd answered the door in his robe, and she'd seen it several times before then. So, why were his blankets strewn all over the place, and why did they look like they'd been forcefully pulled toward the balcony door?

"Gaara?" Sakura called out, looking around the room more as she waited for a response. Her eyes landed on his bedside table lamp, fallen onto the floor and shattered into several pieces with the cord ripped out of the wall and dragged almost all the way to the balcony door. She felt her heart rise into her throat, threatening to choke her as she began to move through the room. "Gaara, if you're here, answer me!"

Sakura ran to the bathroom and forced the door open, hearing the hinges creak against the wood as the door was almost ripped from the wall. She paid it no mind and frantically opened the door to the shower, her heart dropping as she realized he wasn't there, either.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Sakura cried out, running back into the bedroom and double checking every single corner and closed off space, even looking under the bed, her eyes wide and panic-stricken as she realized that Gaara wasn't there.

Her eyes moved back to the bed covers, realizing that they weren't just messy. It looked like someone had forcefully dragged Gaara out of bed, and like the lamp was on the floor because he'd tried to grab it as he’d been pulled out of his bed. His small sand gourd was resting on the other bedside dresser, just beside the large gourd that he normally wore. 

Gaara was gone--and not by choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, would this be a bad time to say that I’m going to be traveling next week and *might* not be able to update? ^^;; I’ll make sure to keep you guys posted on my writing Tumblr (nyxako-writing) or the Twitter I just set up (Nyxako), or both, and I’ll try to have a solid answer out at least 24 hours before my normal posting time. But if I can’t update on time, I’ll definitely be around the week after.


	16. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Distant Voice on FF for reasons I'll explain in the notes at the end.  
> Thanks as always to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing. ♥

Sakura’s heart beat wildly in her chest as she darted out of Gaara's room and jumped onto the roof. She didn't realize that she wasn't wearing shoes until her feet hit the metal bar closing off the balcony on Kankuro's house, the brutal Suna heat causing the soles of her feet to burn.

She let out a hiss as she jumped away from Kankuro's house and toward Shin's, knowing that Kankuro hadn't gotten very much sleep, and he was one of the most difficult people to wake up if he hadn't gotten at least five hours of sleep. She pushed through the pain in her feet as much as she could as she ran toward Shin's house, hoping that it'd be easier to get his attention.

"Shin!" Sakura screamed as she jumped onto his balcony and began to pound on the door to his bedroom. "Open up!"

Sakura continued banging against his door as she screamed for him, barely noticing the small spiderweb cracks in the glass that appeared where her fist repeatedly smashed into it. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to regulate her breathing, knowing that she was close to hyperventilating.

"Haruno!" Her eyes flew up, wide and startled as she finally saw Shin standing in front of her. He'd caught her wrist in his hand to keep her from breaking the door, and was currently watching her through narrowed eyes. "What's wrong?"

"It's Gaara. He's... gone," Sakura replied, images of the messy blankets and table lamp smashed onto the floor flashing through her mind. "I don't know how, but someone got past my seals and broke into his bedroom. His gourds are still there, and it looks like he was dragged out of bed and the lamp is shattered on the floor and I don't know why he didn't fight back, what if he couldn't? What if they poisoned him and he's already dea--"

"Haruno!" Shin yelled again. Sakura immediately stopped speaking as her breath caught in her throat. "Go get Kankuro. We're going to find him."

Sakura nodded her head fervently, her burning feet carrying her to Kankuro's balcony before she even thought about it. He was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, yawning.

"Gaara's missing. We need to find him," Sakura breathed out before her feet had fully landed on the balcony.

"I'll grab some stuff while Shin's summons sniff out his trail," Kankuro replied before moving back into his home.

Sakura watched Kankuro disappear for a moment, leaning back against the balcony and hissing when her hands touched the hot metal of the railing. The pain lingered even as she pulled her hand away, which only increased her realization of what was going on with the rest of her body. The soles of her feet were stinging against the cooler material of Kankuro’s balcony floor, and her breathing was far too quick. 

Sakura took a deep breath as she stared vacantly through Kankuro's open door. There was no way she would be of any help to anyone if she was so panicked. She needed to get herself together and stay calm, so that she could help save Gaara. She healed the soles of her feet so that she wouldn’t hold anyone back, hoping that they wouldn't be too late.

"Here," Kankuro mumbled. Sakura barely managed to catch the extra pair of shoes that he'd thrown at her, quickly sliding them on and grabbing the travel cloak he was holding out toward her. The daytime heat in Suna wasn't nearly as bad as it'd been when she first left Konoha, but that didn't mean it was safe to travel in it without taking proper measures.

After she'd finally gotten situated, Sakura followed Kankuro and jumped down from the balcony to the ground level, moving to where Shin was kneeling behind his house. Three large cougars stood beside him, standing at attention so stiff that Sakura wasn't sure if they were real at first.

"It'll be okay. We'll find him," Kankuro whispered as he wrapped an arm around Sakura's shoulders. Sakura wondered for a moment if he was saying that to comfort himself more than her, but when he squeezed her shoulder she realized that her body was trembling from head to toe, despite the heat that surrounded her. She was scared.

Just then her attention was brought back to Shin as one of his cougars roared. She watched as Shin climbed onto the back of the largest cougar, glancing toward her and Kankuro before speaking.

"They found his trail. Let's go."

Kankuro climbed onto the second largest cougar, leaving Sakura with the smallest. She swung her leg over its back, apologizing for her weight quietly and blinking in surprise when the cougar let out a sound that resembled the meow of a house cat.

Shin whistled loudly and the cougars began to run, racing through the village until they reached the crack in the wall that surrounded Suna. They ran through the large crack into the desert, taking a sharp left once their paws hit the sand. Sakura stared out into the endless expanse of desert, trying to force herself to calm down even though her nerves were making her stomach roil. 

As they traveled through the desert, images flashed through her mind of Gaara laying in the sand, his body pale and lifeless. She pushed her thoughts to the side, desperately trying to tell herself that the images in her head weren’t real. They would save Gaara--they _had_ to.

A full minute had passed before the scenery in front of them changed, and it wasn't long until they began to approach a tall rock formation. There was a small cougar, easily half the size of the ones they were riding, hiding just outside of the entrance to a small man-made cave. Sakura felt her breath catch as they neared the cave, her heart-rate speeding up as her fears came crashing back over her. Gaara was in that cave, and she didn't know if he was alive.

They reached the side of the cave and climbed off of the cougars’ backs. Kankuro summoned his puppets as Shin and Sakura both gripped their kunai, all of them looking at each other and nodding before running into the cave.

The entire scene inside of the cave hit Sakura at once. She saw a small body with long black hair curled against the wall of the cave, a bloody dagger in their hand, but her eyes immediately focused on the bright red hair further into the cave.

"Gaara!" she yelled, pouring chakra into her feet as she ran toward his body, the hood covering her head falling back with the speed. He was lying face-up on the ground further into the cave, two long gashes along his arm and his eyes closed.

Sakura felt the panic rush into her body as she fell to the cave floor, immediately pressing her chakra against the wounds on his arm. She bit down hard on her lower lip to keep herself from losing focus as she searched his system, a choked sound escaping her throat as she recognized the poison in his system as the one that had already taken the lives of so many Suna nin. It had stopped spreading, but there was no telling how long it'd been in his system.

Behind her, she could hear Kankuro and Shin yelling, but she kept her attention on Gaara, trusting that they would be able to handle anything that was going on. Even if it meant turning her back to the enemy, she needed to do everything she could to save Gaara.

Sakura gathered as much of the poison as she could and pulled it out, her eyes narrowing in concentration as she worked her chakra through his veins. There was another poison flowing through his system that she didn't recognize, so she gathered as much of that as she could as well.

The seconds stretched as she pulled the poisons out of his system, her heart racing as she dumped them onto the cave floor beside her, over and over until the last traces were finally gone. Sakura immediately moved to heal the damage the poison had caused, her hands pressed against his bare chest as she gently relaxed and healed the muscles around his heart.

Even after all of the poison was gone and the damage was healed, Gaara's eyes remained closed and his body stayed unmoving. Sakura’s hands began to tremble as she looked him over, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Gaara?" she asked quietly, hesitantly.

"Is it done?" Gaara murmured, his voice hoarse.

"Yes, the poison's gone," Sakura whispered, her breath catching on the last word.

Slowly, Gaara's eyes cracked open to reveal soft turquoise orbs. He blinked once as if to clear his vision before lifting his eyes to lock with hers, a soft and tired smile on his lips. Sakura smiled back weakly, the tears that had formed in her eyes finally falling as the the relief spread through her entire being.

Sakura's breath hitched as she collapsed onto his chest, gripping his arms as sobs wracked her body. His body tensed, but after a few seconds he seemed to relax. His hand lifted to pet the back of her head gently, which only caused her to cry even harder.

She'd almost lost him. If she’d tried to go back to sleep instead of investigating the sounds, or if Shin’s cougars hadn’t picked up his trail, or if she hadn’t given him the poison counter… 

Sakura didn’t want to think about what could have happened. She didn’t want to imagine the worst, so instead she just clung to Gaara as if her life depended on it, her fingers gripping him tightly and not letting go.

Sakura wasn't sure how much time passed, but by the time Kankuro placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention, she was exhausted. Her entire body ached and she knew that her eyes probably looked absolutely horrible right now.

"We need to go before nightfall so the ANBU don't freak out," Kankuro said quietly.

Sakura lifted her body into a sitting position, a flush on her cheeks when she realized that she'd been crying into Gaara's bare chest for who knew how long. Gaara didn't seem to mind as he looked over her shoulder and nodded his head weakly toward Kankuro. His hand that had been gently caressing her hair had fallen onto the floor when she’d sat up, the tips of his fingers touching her hand.

"Do you think you can walk?" Kankuro asked from behind her, and she watched as Gaara seemed to think for a moment. He moved his legs experimentally, wincing as he spoke up.

"I'm not sure."

"You should have someone help you, just to be safe," Sakura said, her eyes watching his reactions closely. He shouldn't have been feeling much pain right now, but it may have been a side effect of the poison she hadn't recognized. She would have to keep a close eye on him.

"I'll leave it to you then, Sakura," Kankuro replied, tossing an extra travel cloak onto her shoulder before moving away from them. She heard him whispering something to Shin, but didn't pay too much attention to it as her eyes stayed focused on Gaara's.

Sakura's eyes moved along Gaara's face, drinking in the features she'd thought she'd lost forever. His turquoise eyes were watching her just as intently, and when he smiled softly at her, she smiled back. She lifted the hand that Gaara's fingers weren't touching to her face, wiping away the remnants of her tears.

The blush on her cheeks only deepened when she glanced to the floor where their hands touched, her eyes darting curiously back up to his. She knew that it had likely been an accident, but as she looked into his eyes, she could have sworn that there was something hidden there, something that meant he knew what he was doing. Sakura felt her eyebrows furrow in confusion, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Was it possible...?

"Come on, we have to go!" Kankuro yelled from the cave entrance.

Sakura cleared her throat and moved to help Gaara sit up, fighting the urge to stare at his torso as she handed the travel cloak to him. Once he'd put it on--and closed the front, thankfully--Sakura pulled her hood back over her head and stood. She held out a hand to him to help him stand, frowning when she noticed how much pain he seemed to be in. When they returned to Suna, she would have to check him again.

Once Gaara was standing, Sakura placed her arm around his waist for support while they walked, licking her lips when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She knew that she was definitely still blushing, but it wasn't the sudden close contact that was doing it. When she glanced toward him, he was watching her, but there was an affection in his eyes that was much stronger than the little hints she’d noticed before. 

Sakura shifted her eyes to look in front of them, not sure if she could handle the awkward atmosphere for much longer. When she finally looked to the people walking in front of them, her eyes narrowed as she realized how much tension seemed to be radiating from Kankuro, Shin, and the person trapped in one of Kankuro's puppets.

Shin was walking far ahead of the group, one hand resting on the head of the only cougar summon that hadn't disappeared. Kankuro was following behind him, his shoulders tense and hand outstretched so that his puppet was far away from him, as if he didn't want to see it.

Sakura felt her curiosity grow as her eyes shifted to the person in the puppet who was still crying. If she hadn't been helping Gaara walk, she probably would have gone over there and decked them, but she somehow felt like she recognized their long black hair, which was ridiculous. Lots of people had long black hair.

As if sensing eyes on them, the person in Kankuro's puppet suddenly turned their head and Sakura felt her mouth gape as she stared. She'd seen this person almost every day since she'd started living in the Kazekage residence. The long black hair and inky black eyes, the beautiful face that reminded her of an ice princess. There was no mistaking it.

Sakura glanced back at Shin, her heart breaking for him as she realized why he was walking so far away from the group. He couldn't stand to be near the person who'd betrayed him and tried to kill his friend and his Kazekage, even if that person _was_ his girlfriend, Yori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is for Distant Voice because they were the first person to suspect Yori, all the way back in chapter 5 when her character was first introduced. :D  
> But don't worry guys, there's plenty of GaaSaku goodness still to come. This is not the end. Not even close.


	17. More and More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TipsyRaconteur, cosipotente, and k_waifu for beta'ing and being awesome. ♥

A small sliver of light peeked through the curtains, hitting Sakura's eyelids and forcing her brain to wake up. With a groan, she turned her head away from the light and slowly opened her eyes, taking a few moments to gather her surroundings.

She was in Gaara's original bedroom, the one she'd been in while recovering from heat stroke so many weeks ago, resting in a chair bedside his bed while he slept. No one had felt comfortable letting him recover in his old room, so she'd taken it upon herself to stay by his side while Kankuro and Shin went through the village for the weekend patrol.

The current cover story for why Gaara was at home was that he had more paperwork piled up than normal. The Daimyo of Wind Country was coming to visit around the same time Suna switched back to operating during the daytime. None of the villagers would doubt how busy he was, and they'd all decided to keep his kidnapping and attempted murder quiet while his interrogation team figured out the reasoning behind Yori's actions.

Sakura watched Gaara's sleeping face, her hand resting gently on top of his where it laid palm-up on the bed. She fought the urge to brush his hair away from his face in fear of waking him, but it seemed like just thinking about him waking up caused it to happen. Gaara's eyes opened slowly and stared at the ceiling for a moment before shifting to hers. There was a moment where Sakura could tell he was trying to remember what had happened, but then a small smile graced his lips. 

"Thank you for coming to my rescue, Sakura," Gaara murmured.

"Please don't thank me," Sakura replied, unable to return his smile despite the relief flooding her senses. "It's my fault you were kidnapped to begin with. My seals..."

"There's nothing wrong with your seals," Gaara said, seriousness edging into his voice. "I'm not sure how she managed to get into my bedroom, but the only reason I'm alive is because you thought to give me the poison counter, and because you came after me and extracted the poison. I'm grateful."

Sakura frowned, lowering her eyes. She knew that he was technically right, but she also knew that she wasn't very good at making seals. It was very likely that there'd been something wrong with them, and that she was the reason Yori had been able to get past them. Yes, she had saved him, but she'd also been the cause of it happening to begin with.

There was a sudden pressure around her hand, interrupting her thoughts as she shifted her gaze to it. Sakura flushed bright red as she realized that, not only had she never let go of Gaara's hand, but he'd now wrapped his fingers around her hand. His grip was loose and gentle, something that she could easily slip out of if she wanted to.

Sakura looked back to Gaara's eyes curiously, wondering what was going through his mind right now. He seemed composed enough, but when she looked into his eyes, she could see the uncertainty hiding beneath his calm exterior. She'd made up her mind to keep her feelings to herself, but the look in Gaara's eyes combined with the feeling of his fingers gently holding her hand made her wonder if that was what she really wanted.

Even if Gaara cared for her in the same way that she cared for him, it wouldn't change any of the things she'd thought about before deciding not to act on her feelings. It didn't change the fact that he was the Kazekage of Suna, and it didn't change the fact that Konoha was always going to be her home. They were worlds apart, and once this mission was over, they would return to seeing each other about once a year or so.

As much as she tried to convince herself that all of those things were hard unchangeable facts, she'd learned that nothing was ever really guaranteed. When she’d realized that Gaara had been kidnapped, she’d assumed he would die and had regretted never telling him anything. He hadn’t died, but that was only by the skin of his teeth. 

The main thing she’d learned from this situation was that there was no way of knowing what would happen in the future. Logically she knew that any kind of relationship they could potentially form would be unlikely to last, but there was always the off chance that things would work out well for them. Maybe, just maybe, revealing her feelings would be worth the risk.

Sakura gathered her courage, pulling it into her chest as she gently squeezed his hand, her breath catching in her throat when Gaara tightened his own grip. All of the uncertainty and hesitation in his gaze vanished, only to be replaced with something soft and warm that sent the butterflies in her stomach into a frenzy.

They smiled at the same time as they linked their fingers together, and Sakura realized that this moment alone was more than worth the risk.

*****

Several days passed quietly without much happening, until one day Sakura and Kankuro were called in to a meeting in the Kazekage’s office. They’d left the labs together and entered the office, where Gaara and Shin stood quietly. It seemed like even Gaara’s ANBU had been forced out of the room, making Sakura more curious about why she’d been called here.

"The interrogation unit managed to figure out a motive behind Yori-san’s actions," Gaara said calmly, standing behind his desk and leaning against it on his palms. 

Sakura glanced around the room again and realized why his ANBU had been sent away. The only people who knew about what had happened were Gaara’s interrogation unit, and the four of them in the room. No one said anything at first, and the tension grew into something strong enough that it made it hard to breathe, until Kankuro finally broke and spoke up.

"It better be a fucking good motive, after everything you've done for her over the years."

Sakura watched as Gaara and Shin exchanged glances, seeming to communicate without speaking. The moment stretched between them until Shin sighed, looking down at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"When Yori and I were still kids, her parents were murdered," Shin said, glancing once toward Gaara before returning his gaze to the carpet. Sakura watched them curiously for a moment, but then the pieces slowly started fitting together when she noticed the regret in Gaara's eyes.

It was hard to imagine now, but she could still vaguely remember the type of person Gaara had been during the Chuunin exams. He'd almost killed her, and she could still remember the bloodthirsty expression he'd worn during his fights with Lee and Sasuke. No matter how much Gaara had changed, that didn’t just wipe away the things he’d done in the past. Judging from his reaction to Shin's words, she could only assume that the murder of Yori's parents was one of those things.

"Well what about everything else?" Kankuro asked, his voice less angry than before, but still frustrated. "How did she get past Sakura's chakra seals?"

"My seals were only set up to alert me if someone with unauthorized chakra entered the room," Sakura said quietly, her brows furrowed as she watched the metal pen on Gaara's desk glint against the light. She thought back to the time in the library when Yori had revealed that she had to open all of the doors with keys, and suddenly everything clicked. "Yori-chan didn't have chakra, which is why my seals didn't activate."

"That's what my interrogation unit has decided as well," Gaara said. There was something comforting in his voice that brought Sakura's eyes back to his. "Even the best seal-makers wouldn't have thought to make a seal that responded to someone without chakra since they’re so rare."

Gaara watched her, his eyes narrowed and serious as if trying to make sure she understood what he was saying. This was a situation that most people wouldn’t have taken into consideration. Sakura heard his words from the other day in her head, telling her that there was nothing wrong with her seals. Her fingers started tingling slightly as she remembered the way he’s held her hand that day in his bedroom, and she forced herself to look away. There were much more serious things going on right now; her feelings could wait.

“How did a girl with no chakra manage to kidnap you anyway?” Kankuro asked as he leaned against one of the large bookshelves, his arms folded across his chest.

“She used to study at our ninja academy, and continued to train her body even after leaving,” Shin spoke up, his voice distracted as if his thoughts were on something far away. “She was always fast, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she managed to get past his sand with her speed alone.”

“Why didn’t you fight her off?” Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side. She knew that Gaara wasn’t the fastest fighter, and she’d seen Lee get through his sand barrier many years ago during the Chuunin exams, so it definitely wasn’t impossible for Yori to have done the same. Gaara would have struggled against someone who was fast enough to get past his sand barrier, but he should have at least put up enough of a fight to wake her up earlier. 

“I woke up because of the pain where she’d cut my arm, but there was a poison of some sort on the blade. I wasn’t able to use chakra, and I barely managed to inject the poison counter before I lost consciousness.”

Sakura frowned, her eyes focused on the carpet as she let Gaara’s words float through her mind. Somewhere in the room, Kankuro was letting out a stream of curse words and Shin was berating him, but she tried to tune it out as best as she could. If Gaara had been keeping the poison counter on his bedside table, the lamp had probably crashed to the ground when he’d grabbed it. That much made sense, but…

“What do you mean you couldn’t use chakra?” Sakura asked, her eyes moving back up to Gaara as a hush fell in the room. Kankuro’s mouth was still open mid-yell and his middle finger was still up and facing Shin, but he’d more or less frozen in place. He apparently hadn’t heard that part of Gaara’s words and instead had focused on the part where Yori had cut his little brother with a poisoned blade. 

“The first thing I did when I woke up was try to control my sand to push her away, but nothing happened,” Gaara said, his voice calm and serious.

Sakura chewed on her lower lip as she thought back to the plant she’d read about in this very room many weeks ago. It was said to have been wiped out of existence after the first ninja world war, but it had been used to create a poison that both cut off someone’s ability to use chakra, and at strong enough concentration levels, had a sedative effect as well. Sakura remembered reading about it and having a bad feeling, and it was the entire reason she’d thought to suggest training Gaara in taijutsu. 

There was always a small chance that there had been another undiscovered means of creating a poison that would take away someone’s ability to use chakra, but it seemed highly unlikely that there were two different poisons she’d never encountered that did the exact same thing. If her suspicions were correct, then the plant she’d read about had never been eradicated. It had just been kept hidden for more than a century.

When Sakura had extracted the poisons from Gaara’s body, she’d noticed a second poison that she’d never seen before. She’d kept an eye on him for the next few days to make sure it hadn’t caused any permanent damage, but now that she knew almost certainly what it was, she wished she’d thought to take a sample of it from the cave floor where she’d dumped both of the poisons.

The real question here was: How did Yori get a hold of it? How did she get a hold of _either_ poison, for that matter? One was made from a plant that hadn’t been seen in over 100 years, and the other was rare enough that even Tsunade didn’t know about it. How did a girl from Suna come across them?

“Shin-san,” Sakura started, shifting her eyes to the where Shin stood by the window. “Did Yori-chan live in Suna her entire life?” Shin nodded his head. “Did she ever keep any plants?”

Shin frowned before shaking his head. “She couldn’t even keep a cactus alive.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Sakura hissed quietly. If her thoughts were right, then this situation was much more serious than they’d all initially thought.

“Sakura-san?” Gaara questioned, his voice hesitant and curious. Sakura looked up at him, taking in the frown on his lips and the concern in his eyes.

“How did you get the second cut on your arm that day?” she asked.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Gaara admitted. “When the sedative poison wore off enough for me to wake up, I was already in the cave and both cuts were there. It must have happened when I was knocked out.”

Sakura chewed on her thumb nail as she processed everything she'd learned so far. If Yori had been acting alone, she would have had to somehow stumble upon a plant that had been missing for more than a century, realize that it could be used for a poison that did specific things, and take care of the plant so that she could use it to carry out her revenge.

The issue with that theory was it didn't explain why she'd taken Gaara all the way out to the cave if she'd had both poisons on hand. She could have easily murdered him in his room, but she hadn't. That could potentially be chalked up to her not wanting to risk the possibility of Sakura finding him and rescuing him in time, but there were still more things that didn't add up. 

What did she gain by murdering Suna's medics? When they'd left the scene, Yori had only had one dagger on her, the one with the poison they already knew inside and out. So what had happened to the second dagger with the poison that cut off his ability to use chakra? 

"There's more to this than Yori-chan wanting revenge," Sakura muttered, her eyes dark as she glanced around the room. Shin was watching her with narrowed eyes, while Gaara's were as calm as ever, but it was Kankuro who spoke up first.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Sakura turned her eyes back to Gaara. "There are a lot of things that don't add up with the theory that she was acting alone for the sake of revenge. The poison that she used to take away your ability to use chakra was likely created with a plant that was thought to have been wiped out of existence after the first ninja world war, for starters."

"That could just be a coincidence," Kankuro retorted, though Sakura could tell from his voice that he wasn't entirely convinced about his own words.

"Even if it was, it doesn't explain why she would go out of her way to murder Suna's medics if she had a way to get into Gaara's bedroom and had the poisons on hand. She could have easily tried to take him out after his other personal guard was murdered, while you were also away from the village because you were in Konoha with me." 

The room was silent as Sakura tried to piece together the information she had in her head. A frown pulled at her lips as she realized that there was something no one had mentioned yet, something important.

"I think someone else showed up in that cave with the poison that was meant to kill him, and took the dagger with the chakra-blocking poison with them. It would explain why there was only one dagger but two cuts with two different poisons, and it would explain why she decided to move him to the cave."

"What are you trying to say, Sakura-san?" Gaara asked, his voice hesitant as he watched her. Sakura caught his eyes and immediately recognized the worry in them, but this time she wasn't sure that there was anything she could say that would make the situation easier. 

"I think there's someone else out there who wants revenge, and they're the ones murdering your medics. I don't believe that Yori-chan was acting alone, and I don't believe that she's the one behind everything."


	18. Imagine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TipsyRaconteur, cosipotente, and k.waifu for beta’ing… and yes I’m going to say that every time. ;o;

The Kazekage office had more people in it than Sakura had ever seen before. The Daimyo of Wind Country had come to visit and discuss politics, and they'd brought their entire entourage with them, in addition to requesting extra ANBU support.

Sakura leaned against the wall by the large window, surveying the room around her. Including Gaara, she could see seven people and five ANBU agents, but she knew that there were definitely more ANBU hiding in the shadows. She was the only personal guard Gaara had right now since Shin had decided to take a vacation after the things that had been revealed the week before.

If someone Sakura was close to had tried to murder Tsunade or Kakashi, she would have needed the vacation too; she could definitely understand Shin's need to pull away from everyone for a while after what Yori had done. The situation was only made worse by the fact that they didn't have any new information on who was murdering Suna's medics.

Yori's memories had been tampered with, using a forbidden medical jutsu that directly accessed the brain and blocked off the person's memories about specific topics. The thing that had been hidden in Yori's memories was likely a hint that would lead them to the person--or people--they were looking for. Whoever was behind all of this had left a small chakra bomb in Yori's brain where the memory was supposed to be. If Sakura or anyone in Gaara's interrogation unit tried to force Yori to remember who had cut off her memories, the chakra bomb would explode and she would die. Kankuro had suggested they do it anyway, but Gaara had refused to allow it.

The revelation that they'd never find out what was in Yori's memories had set them back more than they'd anticipated, but it did give them some new information. There was definitely at least one more person involved, and whoever had given Yori the poison that could stop Gaara's chakra and had blocked off her memories from them was highly skilled in medical jutsu and poisons. They also weren't afraid of using other people and manipulating their emotions instead of getting their own hands dirty.

Sakura sighed and folded her arms across her chest, wincing as the sun hit her eyes. Suna had started operating during the day again since summer was over and the days were no longer unbearably hot. Adjusting to the new sleep schedule again was proving to be more difficult than when she'd first arrived in Suna, and she was definitely struggling. She'd woken up late and hadn't had a chance to eat or get coffee before the Daimyo requested Gaara's presence, and by association, hers.

A yawn pulled itself from her lips, which she quickly covered with her hand. She blinked her eyes a few times until her vision cleared, her attention shifting to where Gaara stood in the center of the room looking as calm and poised as ever. With so many ANBU agents in the room, she didn't have to be quite as alert as normal, which gave her time to just watch him and think.

Since that day in his bedroom when he'd been recovering, they hadn't talked about what was going on with them, but there were a few subtle yet noticeable changes in the way they both behaved around each other. The way he looked at her had definitely become more open, and more often than not she could see the emotions he would have tried to hide behind his calm demeanor before. He wasn't anywhere as boisterous and loud as Naruto or Kankuro, but his laughs had become a little more open, his gaze a little more warm.

Sakura, in turn, had decided to stop trying to hide her feelings. She didn't emphasize them, instead choosing to let them be. When she caught her eyes lingering on him a bit longer than what would be considered normal, she let herself drink him in without forcing her eyes away before she'd had her fill. She let the warm fuzzy feelings she felt in the pit of her stomach show in her smiles, and he'd started responding with soft and gentle smiles, as if he knew exactly what she was trying to convey. Maybe he did.

Just then, Sakura's hunger from not eating that morning decided to make itself known as her stomach growled loudly. Her eyes shifted around the room to make sure that no one had heard it, but everyone seemed to be wrapped up in their own conversations thankfully.

When her eyes moved back to look at Gaara, she realized that some time while she'd been distracted he'd started staring at her curiously. She wondered if he'd heard her stomach growling, but quickly discarded the thought since he was so far away and surrounded by people who were all speaking. Gaara smiled at her softly before turning his attention back to the conversation he'd been having with the Daimyo about taxes on Suna exports.

Sakura sighed and rubbed her stomach, looking out of the window to watch the streets below as people milled about. A few moments later, she felt something touch her hand and she glanced down, frowning as she realized that there was a hand made out of sand floating by her fingers, its index finger wrapped around hers.

She glanced back to Gaara, but his attention stayed on the conversation going on around him. She thought she saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes as the sand hand began tugging her away from the wall, but it was hard to tell from this angle. The tugging became a little more insistent, and she smiled as she let herself be escorted across the room by the sand hand. Whatever Gaara was trying to do would no doubt be more interesting than anything that was going on in the room right now, and there were enough ANBU agents in the room to protect him if anything happened.

Sakura was lead to the back of the office to a small area next to the largest bookshelf, where she discovered that the room wasn't perfectly circular after all. There was a small path behind the bookshelf that the hand pulled her through until she stumbled into a narrow and dim hallway.

The sand hand pulled her down the empty hallway until she reached a small door near the floor that she had to crouch to get through. When she emerged on the other side, she smiled as she realized that this was basically a hidden room that was likely meant for the Kazekage to hide in if necessary, but it seemed to double as a break room. There was a simple circular table in the center surrounded by five chairs, and there were cabinets above the counter against the wall that she could only assume had food in them.

Sakura let the sand hand lead her to the counter where a coffee pot sat, surrounded by a small array of breakfast foods. The coffee in the pot smelled fresh, as if it had been prepared just moments ago. Had Gaara used his sand manipulation to... make her coffee? The idea was as absurd as it was sweet.

Gaara's sand hand began to pull away, but Sakura quickly gripped her finger around it, hoping it wouldn't disperse just yet. When it stopped moving to just hover mid-air, Sakura quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the table and wrote down a simple 'Thank you' on it, before folding the paper and placing it into the sands palm. She noticed the sand fingers linger on her hand for just a moment before it dispersed into a small block of sand only large enough to carry the note.

Sakura smiled as she watched the sand float out of the room, likely to return to Gaara with the note, before turning to find a mug for her coffee. She poured herself a cup and grabbed a donut, then sat down at the small table and began to eat, making a small note in the back of her mind to thank Gaara properly the next time she saw him.

It never ceased to amaze her how Gaara always seemed to notice the little things that most people would simply ignore. Things may have not changed all that much between them, and they hadn't discussed things yet, but she knew that part of that was because Gaara wasn't exactly the type of person to initiate physical contact.

There was no doubt in her mind that the sand's touch lingering on her had been something he'd thought about doing, but hadn't gathered the courage to do in person. Maybe he was still hesitant and unsure about where their boundaries lay.

Sakura swallowed a sip of coffee and smiled as she began to feel more alive, vowing that the next time an opportunity presented itself, she would try to take that first step forward.

*****

Sakura collapsed onto the mat, breathing hard as she closed her eyes. It had been ages since she'd sparred with someone for so long, and even longer since she’d fought with a sedative in her system. She could feel the exhaustion all the way down to her bones. Training on the weekends was going to be rough.

While she'd been with Gaara all week, Kankuro had managed to create a replica of the poison that had stopped Gaara’s chakra. He’d used information from the book that Sakura had borrowed from the Kazekage office several months ago, and focused on recreating the sedating effect of it so that they could begin to build an immunity to it. If the time came where it was used on any of them in battle, they'd be less likely to succumb to the sedative, which was where their training came in.

From now on, the weekends were going to be dedicated to training. Sakura would spend almost all day training with Gaara in the Kazekage residence while Kankuro went out to do Gaara’s usual patrol around the village with a few ANBU agents to protect him. 

Gaara collapsed onto the floor beside her, his body closer to her than she'd expected. Sakura peered through her lashes just in time to watch him push his hair back from his forehead, realizing slowly that he'd laid down close enough that their shoulders were touching.

Sakura opened her eyes fully as she watched him, wondering if he'd known how close they would be before he'd fallen to the ground. It was highly unlikely that he'd misjudged the distance, since he was used to having to measure distance visually with his long-distance sand manipulation. So why had he made sure they would be close enough to touch?

While Sakura had been caught in her thoughts, Gaara had shifted his gaze to hers and started watching her curiously. Sakura flushed and fought the urge to look away, instead offering him a smile that she knew would be awkward. He didn't seem to mind the awkwardness, because his eyes flickered with amusement before he smiled back.

The flicker in his eyes reminded her of the way he'd looked while in the Kazekage office earlier that week, just before his hand made of sand had lead her to the room with coffee and food. The sand hand's fingers had lingered on her just long enough to be noticeable, and she had promised herself back then that if the opportunity arose, she would push herself to initiate contact.

Sakura couldn’t help but get lost in his turquoise eyes. The openness in his gaze was still so new to her that it took her breath away, and subconsciously her fingers began to shift until they touched the back of his hand that was lying between them. Gaara watched her, obviously noticing what she’d done, and the small upward quirk of his lips gave her enough courage to push through her awkwardness. 

She moved her fingers to the palm of Gaara's hand, chewing on her bottom lip nervously for a moment. When Gaara didn't try to pull away, she slipped her fingers through his, pressing their palms together until they were holding hands.

Sakura watched as Gaara glanced down at their fingers, his gaze filled with a simple curiosity before he shifted his eyes back to hers. There was something behind the curiosity now, something soft and warm, and it made a smile pull itself across Sakura's lips fully.

Ever so slightly, Gaara tightened his fingers around hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter was a bit of a transitional chapter, but it felt necessary to show the full shift in their relationship. And I just needed to write that sand hand scene, since it was one of the first scenes I thought of and the one that made the rest of the pieces of the plot fall into place, and this felt like the perfect place for it.


	19. Bittersweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** The first scene contains mentions of past attempted suicide by an OC. It’s nothing graphic, but if that’s something you want to avoid, I’ll be putting a very basic idea of the plot in the end notes. So you can skip to the end to read the note before going to read the second scene if you want.   
>  Thank you to TipsyRaconteur and k.waifu for beta’ing.

The stairwell of the Kazekage tower was eerily quiet as Sakura waited outside of Gaara's office. He was talking to his ANBU about someone from another village coming to visit, and he'd let her listen in until they'd tried to mention the name of the person who was coming. It was definitely strange that he’d waited until then to ask her to leave, but she hadn't wanted to question it. Kazekage business wasn't her business after all.

Just then she heard movement down the stairs, and she glanced to her side just in time to see Shin moving up the stairwell. She was confused to say the least, since she hadn't seen him since the meeting in Gaara's office two weeks ago.

As he got closer to her, a frown pulled at her lips as she realized how exhausted he looked. There were bags under his eyes and dark circles that almost rivaled Gaara's, and his normally tan skin was pale. He'd always been a prickly bastard, but seeing him like this was still unsettling.

"Hey," Sakura said, her voice seeming to take Shin by surprise. She wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't known she was there, or if it was because he hadn't expected her to greet him first. Given how lethargic he seemed, she wouldn't be surprised if it was the first option.

Shin nodded his head toward her as a greeting, then glanced toward the door. "Is there something going on?"

"He's in a meeting with his ANBU right now."

Shin hummed thoughtfully and then leaned against the wall across from her. Sakura wanted to ask how he was doing, but she knew that there wouldn't be any point. It was obvious that he wasn't doing well after finding out that his girlfriend had tried to kill Gaara--he looked like a shadow of his former self, and she realized upon closer inspection that he'd definitely lost weight.

"What are you here for?" she asked instead, hoping that because it was a pretty basic question that it wouldn't bring up the things he'd gone through. The wry smile on his lips made her wonder if that was the wrong question to ask.

"I wanted to thank Gaara-sama for something. It's probably why he's meeting with his ANBU right now," Shin replied. Sakura frowned in confusion. "I take it you haven't heard, then?"

Sakura shook her head. "I'm a Konoha ninja. If it doesn't concern my mission, I don't ask questions."

"Smart." Shin sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Seeing as he's probably requested help from Konoha though, it may interest you."

"What do you mean?"

"He's decided to let Yori live in Iwagakure and requested an escort team from another village. Really, he's such an idiot," Shin scoffed, but Sakura could tell that he wasn't as disgruntled as he tried to seem. "Any other Kage would have had her executed for what she did."

"He probably feels guilty about her parent's death," Sakura said without thinking. Shin raised a single eyebrow in her direction, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I put the pieces together during the meeting in his office."

"I can't tell if you're actually smart, or if I'm just used to Kankuro."

"Why can't it be both?"

Shin chuckled quietly, and Sakura felt a small smile pull at her lips. From what she could tell, Shin was a decent guy despite how standoffish he normally was, and it felt good to make him laugh even when he was going through such a hard time.

The silence stretched between them before Shin spoke up again. "You know, Yori really isn't a bad person. She's just... been through a lot."

Sakura nodded her head in understanding, her mind immediately flashing to thoughts of Sasuke. The trauma he'd experienced when he was a child had definitely shaped him and been a catalyst for some of his actions, but... "That doesn't really make up for or excuse the things she's done."

"True enough," Shin murmured, his eyes shifting to the ceiling as if he was lost in thought until he spoke up again a few moments later. "You know, Yori was one of the best ninja in our class when we were kids. Her chakra control was perfect."

Sakura blinked, her brows furrowing in confusion as she recalled the keys Yori had worn on a necklace. "I thought she couldn't use chakra."

"Not anymore."

Sakura's frown deepened as she let Shin's words sink in. She'd always assumed that Yori's situation was similar to Lee's, and that she'd just been born without the ability to use her chakra. In all of her years of studying medical jutsu, Sakura had never heard of anything like this even being possible, let alone actually happening.

"How did she lose her ability to use chakra?"

Shin was quiet for a moment before he answered. “After Yori lost her parents, she came to live with my family. She always said that she was grateful that we took her in, but I think that deep down it hurt her to see us all together because it reminded her of how alone she was. Then, one day…” Shin trailed off, his brows furrowed and his muscles tense as if he was fighting to keep his composure.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened,” Sakura said softly, but Shin lifted a hand and shook his head in protest.

He took in a deep breath before continuing, “I came home one day and I found her on the bathroom floor. She… she wasn’t breathing. She’d tried to take her own life, and she was never able to use chakra after that.”

Sakura frowned and looked down, unsure of how she should respond to something like that. From a medical standpoint, it kind of made sense. Yori had tried to destroy her own life force, and since chakra was partially powered by a person’s life force, it made sense that she’d lost the ability to tap into it. She probably still had chakra, but she’d severed her connection to it, which would make it impossible for her to use it anymore.

“I think she’d like it if you went to see her once before she left,” Shin said quietly. Sakura lifted her eyes to him, but found that he was looking away pointedly, as if he couldn’t meet her eyes. “I know that what she did was unforgivable, but you were one of the few people who always treated her kindly. I’m not asking you to ignore what happened, but it would mean a lot to her.”

Before Sakura had a chance to respond, the door to the Kazekage office opened. She watched as Shin moved toward the office after being waved in by an ANBU agent. The door shut behind him, and Sakura glanced down to absently study her fingernails as she was left alone with her thoughts.

On one hand, Sakura was grateful for what Yori had done when she’d thrown herself into her research after she’d failed to save Aiji. Yori had been the one who’d made sure she ate and showered, and Sakura wasn’t sure how she would have gotten through that time without Yori’s support.

Sakura sighed, pushing her hair back just as she heard the door to the office open. She glanced up to see Shin exit the office and begin to move down the stairs, but he paused on the step in front of her.

“I let Gaara-sama know what I told you. It’s up to you what you do with the information,” Shin said, not looking at her even once before he began moving again.

*****

The jails in Suna were located deep beneath their jounin headquarters. The hallways were dimly lit, with corridors that twisted and turned in a seemingly random pattern that was hard to figure out. As Sakura followed Gaara through the hallways, she noticed what looked like earth jutsu marks on the walls, and she wondered if they frequently changed up the path to make it hard for people to learn the pattern.

They reached the end of another corridor and made a sharp turn into a hallway Sakura was sure she wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been looking for it. Gaara led her down the hall until they reached a large gate, where he pressed his chakra into five different seals before taking a step back. The gate swung open and he stepped to the side for her to pass.

Sakura's eyes lingered on Gaara doubtfully, wondering if it was really okay for her to visit Yori after what she'd done, but when Gaara smiled reassuringly at her, she relaxed immediately. If he was okay with it, then she should be too--after all, she wasn't the one Yori had tried to kill.

After taking a deep breath to gather her nerves, Sakura stepped through the gate, taking one last glance toward Gaara, before shifting her eyes to the dark hallway lined with cells. She moved forward alone, looking into the empty cells until she finally found the one she was searching for at the end of the hallway.

Sakura couldn't bring herself to say anything as she looked into Yori's cell, where she was currently curled into a ball on the floor. She was so small, and her long black hair was spread around her in a tangled mess. Her eyes were staring blankly at the wall as if she wasn't even there, and the bags under her eyes were even worse than Shin's had been. She looked... pitiful.

As if sensing eyes on her, Yori shifted her gaze to where Sakura was standing, her mouth opening slightly in surprise that didn't quite reach the rest of her face. Sakura watched as she got up slowly to her feet and then moved to the gate, gripping onto the bars as if they were the only thing keeping her standing. Maybe they were.

"Sakura-san, you came," Yori said breathlessly, her voice weak. Sakura nodded but didn't respond, unsure of what to say.

Hell, she wasn't even sure why she'd come. After what Yori had done, betraying everyone's trust and kidnapping and trying to kill Gaara, there was no reason for Sakura to come and visit her before she left Suna. But then Yori smiled sadly, and that one motion pierced Sakura's heart and she realized why she'd come.

Despite everything that had happened, Sakura had considered Yori a friend. Sure, they weren't nearly as close as she was to someone like Ino or Naruto, but Yori had been there for her when she'd almost fallen through the cracks. When she'd locked herself up in the library and hadn't been able to sleep or eat, Yori had been the one to bring her food and sometimes keep her company and help her find the books she was looking for. Yori was the reason she'd maintained her sanity at that time, and even though she couldn't forgive her for what she'd done to Gaara, Sakura was still grateful for her kindness.

"You hate me now, don't you?" Yori asked, her voice cracking and broken.

"I don't know," Sakura murmured, her brows furrowing as she tried to put her feelings into words. "I don't hate _you_ , but I hate what you did to Gaara."

"I understand," Yori replied. "I tried to kill your lover, and I would feel the same way you do now if you'd tried to kill Shin."

Sakura opened her mouth to say that Gaara wasn't her lover, but she stopped herself before the words could leave her lips. She and Gaara hadn't really talked about what they were to each other, but there hadn't been a need to. It was something they both seemed to understand without having to say anything.

"For what it's worth, I really considered you a friend," Yori said quietly.

Sakura watched the woman in front of her for a moment before nodding her head slowly. "Me, too."

Yori smiled sadly again and backed away, hiding in the shadows of her cell until Sakura couldn't see her face anymore. "You should get going. There's no point in spending more time with someone you'll never see again."

Sakura wanted to tell her that they would meet again one day, but she stopped herself when she realized that there was no way she could truly promise that. She still couldn't forgive her for what she'd done to Gaara, and there was no way of telling whether or not those feelings would change in the future.

Sakura frowned and nodded her head, hesitating for a moment before beginning to walk away. Near the end of the corridor she stopped, and without turning back to look at the row of jail cells, called out, "Take care of yourself, Yori-chan."

"You too, Sakura-san," Yori called back, her voice obviously choked up as she sniffled. Sakura knew that she wouldn't be able to truly comfort Yori in this situation, not while her feelings were so conflicted, so she continued on.

When she reached the end of the corridor, she saw a bit of Gaara's sand disappear under the gate just as it opened for her. She smiled, realizing that he'd probably been watching out for her, and stepped through the gate that he was holding open.

"Did you say everything you needed to?" Gaara asked, his voice calm and kind, clearly giving her space to decide whether or not she wanted to talk about it.

"I did. Thank you for bringing me here and waiting," she replied, watching as he smiled softly before leading the way through the corridors once again.

Sakura found herself getting lost in her thoughts as they made it through the twists and turns. She didn't want to think too much about Yori, because she already knew that her feelings were conflicted and that that wouldn't be changing any time soon, so she instead chose to focus on what Yori had said to her.

She'd called Gaara her _lover_. It seemed silly to use words like 'boyfriend' to describe someone with a title like Kazekage, but it wasn't like she really knew for certain what they were. Sure, they'd held hands several times since the day she'd first linked their fingers together, but that didn't necessarily make them lovers, did it?

When they reached the streets of Suna, they began to walk back to the residence together, and Sakura became aware of how close they were. Their shoulders bumped several times, and no matter how slowly or quickly she walked, Gaara seemed to keep walking along beside her at whatever pace she moved.

The door to the residence closed behind them, and Sakura automatically reached her hand out for his, smiling when he linked their fingers together easily. They moved through the residence quietly, but when they stopped in front of the door to Sakura's bedroom, she kept her fingers wrapped around his. He didn't move or even try to, and it seemed as if Gaara was perfectly content to stand outside of her bedroom for however long she wanted to keep him there.

"Hey, Gaara. Can I ask you something?" He nodded calmly in response, and Sakura took a deep breath to gather her courage before blurting out, "Are we lovers?"

Gaara didn't respond immediately, and just as Sakura was beginning to worry that she'd asked something ridiculous, he cleared his throat before replying. "I'm not entirely sure what being 'lovers' entails, but I know that I care for you deeply."

"Is it the same as how you care for your friends and family?" Sakura asked, trying her hardest to keep the insecurity out of her voice even though she knew Gaara would easily notice it. He always did seem to notice the subtle things that most people overlooked.

Gaara looked away for a moment, and Sakura watched as his cheeks flushed lightly. He still seemed calm on the surface, but when he looked back to her, she could see the nervousness in his eyes. He shook his head and murmured, "You're different, and I only realized it recently because of Kankuro's book."

Sakura wasn't sure what he meant at first, but then she remembered the book Kankuro had dropped onto his head all those weeks ago. The one she'd seen him reading again recently, and the one she remembered Kankuro referencing when he'd first suggested that Gaara might like her.

"You mean 'The Art of Love'?"

Gaara nodded. Sakura sighed with relief, smiling as the tension she didn't realize she'd been holding onto finally relaxed. She tightened her fingers around Gaara's slightly, her heart humming happily. His nod was a confirmation of what she'd hoped to be true, and she was suddenly glad that she'd asked.

"What about you?" Gaara asked, a playful lilt to his voice. Sakura blinked at him in confusion. "Do you care for me as a friend or sibling?"

Sakura watched Gaara's expression closely, wondering where the playful tone of voice had come from. He was as calm and aloof as ever, but when she noticed the nervousness in his eyes, she realized that he'd been trying to cover up just how unsure he was of her answer.

"I do care for you as a friend, but I also care for you as a lover," Sakura started, feeling a blush rise on her cheeks as she cleared her throat. "That is, if you'll have me."

Sakura forced herself to not look away as she searched Gaara's expression, watching as he visibly relaxed. He exhaled softly and smiled, and when he nodded she felt her breath catch a little. This entire time, they'd been worried about the same thing.

Her eyes moved across his face, taking in every tiny detail that she could, lingering at his turquoise eyes before moving to his smile that she was so weak to. Her heartbeat sped up as she subconsciously licked her lips, her eyes catching the way his gaze immediately flicked down to her lips.

Sakura's cheeks flushed bright red as the tension she'd felt earlier returned, but this time it was a good kind of tension. She felt like she was floating and her head was spinning as she moved closer to him, her eyes never moving from his lips. When she realized that Gaara hadn't tried to move away she lifted her hand to touch his face gently, watching as his lips parted slightly.

Sakura touched the edge of his mouth with her thumb, gently caressing just next to his lower lip before shifting her eyes back to his. Their gazes immediately locked and Gaara moved just slightly closer to her, even though she realized it was probably subconscious on his part. She smiled slightly, her heart pounding in her ears as she searched his eyes, looking for any hint of hesitation. When she didn't see any, she shifted closer still until their lips were almost touching.

"Close your eyes," she whispered, shivers shooting up her spine when their lips brushed against each other ever so slightly as she spoke. She watched as his eyes fluttered closed, letting her eyes linger on his face just a second longer before she closed her own eyes and leaned forward to close the distance.

The kiss was gentle and hesitant, his lips soft against hers. She wasn't sure how far to push things, because she didn’t know what Gaara would be comfortable with. She breathed in his familiar scent and a shudder ran down her spine.

"Gaara," she whispered into the kiss, only partially aware of the fact that she'd said anything. Gaara's fingers tightened around hers where their fingers were still intertwined and he shifted closer, pressing his lips more fully against hers.

Sakura's head spun as the world fell out from beneath her, and she found herself wishing that this moment would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who skipped it, in the first scene, Sakura runs into Shin who tells her that Gaara requested an ANBU team from Konoha to escort Yori to Iwagakure, so she can live there instead of being executed. Shin then suggest that she goes to visit Yori in jail to see her one last time.


	20. Long Time No See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TipsyRaconteur and k.waifu for beta'ing ♥

Sakura leaned against one of the bookshelves in the Kazekage office, skimming through one of the many medical texts she'd already read before. None of the information was jumping out at her as something that could help her though, so she placed the book back and picked out a new one before shifting her eyes to where Gaara sat at his desk.

He'd taken his Kazekage hat off at her request, and was currently signing off on what looked to be one of the last stacks of paperwork. Sakura let her eyes run along his face, taking in the slightly ruffled hair that had fallen across his forehead and the eyes that she could never get enough of. When he lifted his mug of coffee to his lips to take a sip, Sakura found herself gazing at his lips without thinking about it, unable to tear her eyes away.

"Sakura-san?"

Sakura blinked and forced her gaze up to meet Gaara's, her cheeks flushing bright red as she saw the flash of amusement in his eyes. He'd clearly seen where her attention had been, but she knew that his amusement wasn't there to mock her.

"I asked you not to use any honorifics when we're alone," Sakura mumbled, pouting her lips slightly. If she wasn't using honorifics with him, it was only fair that he did the same for her. There was no need to keep such a professional distance between them when they were alone anymore.

"Sakura, then," Gaara murmured, his mouth pulling into a smile. Maybe it was the fact that she'd just been staring at his lips, but there was something about the way her name sounded coming from them that sent a shiver down her spine. "Would you like some coffee?"

Sakura blinked in confusion, glancing from Gaara to the mug in his hand until she realized that he'd assumed she was staring at his lips because he'd been drinking coffee. She thumbed the spine of the book she was holding as her eyes momentarily flicked down to his lips again, before nodding her head and placing the book down on the bookshelf.

As Sakura approached him, she saw his eyes move to her lips and back so quickly that she thought she'd imagined it, but the slight flush on his cheeks told her otherwise. She smiled, moving to stand beside him and taking a sip of coffee after he gave her the mug. Young Sakura would have probably freaked out over the indirect kiss, but the Sakura of right now wanted a little bit more than that.

"Can we…?" Sakura began to ask, but before the question had fully formed, there was a knock at the door to the office.

Whoever was on the other side knocked in the set pattern to indicate that they were an ANBU agent, but they didn’t include the code for an emergency. Sakura sighed and moved to open the door for them.

"Kazekage-sama, the ANBU unit you requested from Konoha has arrived at the village gates."

"Understood. Please stand by with them until we arrive," Gaara replied. His ANBU agent nodded briskly before forming a few hand signs and flash-stepping away.

Sakura shut the door once again and turned back to face Gaara, a single eyebrow raised curiously. "I didn't think you'd actually requested help from Konoha."

Gaara didn't respond to her, choosing instead to smile almost mischievously before moving toward the door. He picked up his Kazekage hat from the coat rack by the door and placed it onto his head, gently touching her shoulder and letting his fingers linger before moving them to unseal the locks on the door. "Let's go greet our guests, shall we?"

Sakura frowned, wondering why he'd responded like that. As he left the office she followed him, making sure to shut and lock the door behind her. They moved down the circular stairwell together, keeping their distance as they walked through the streets of Suna. Sakura glanced to her side multiple times to try and figure out Gaara's expression, finding it strange that she couldn’t read him right now. It had been a long time since he’d kept his face neutral enough that she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

As they approached the village gates and the masks of the Konoha ANBU unit came into view, Sakura fought the smile that threatened to pull at her lips. She definitely recognized the ANBU agent standing in front of everyone else, but she had to keep her excitement to herself, even if this _was_ the first time she'd seen one of her Konoha friends since she'd started this mission.

"Thank you for arriving on such short notice," Gaara began, bowing slightly toward the ANBU unit. Sakura watched as they bowed back before Gaara continued, "You're all free to remove your masks if you wish."

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," the man in front replied. He lifted his ANBU mask to the top of his head to reveal pale skin and inky black hair, his expression as carefully blank as the last time she'd seen him.

"Gaa--Kazekage-sama, do you want me to confirm their identities?" Sakura asked, inwardly wincing at herself for almost forgetting to keep up their professional relationship in public. Gaara merely nodded his head, so Sakura turned her attention back to the man in front of her. "How do we always decide who writes the mission reports?"

"By playing rock-paper-scissors," Sai responded, his voice calm and confused, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"That's them. There's no way someone else would know that without extensive research," Sakura said. She saw Gaara's eyes narrow curiously out of the corner of her eye.

Sakura moved forward, wrapping her arms around Sai's shoulders in a hug. She was so relieved to see someone from her old life in Konoha--sometimes it seemed like she'd been in Suna so long that she felt like the Haruno Sakura of Konoha didn't even exist anymore.

Sai's body tensed in the hug, but after a moment he reached up and patted her back awkwardly. Sakura laughed softly, knowing that he'd probably read that in one of his books on how to interact with other people. It was comforting to know that some things hadn't changed.

Gaara cleared his throat quietly, bringing Sakura's attention back to the situation at hand. She pulled away from Sai and moved to stand beside Gaara again, noticing the slight tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there before.

"Sai-san, can I speak to you alone in my office?" Gaara asked. Sakura assumed that Sai nodded because Gaara then turned to her, smiling slightly. "My ANBU will escort us to my office, so will you please show the rest of Sai-san's unit to the hotel by the training grounds?"

"Of course."

"Thank you." Gaara's smile quirked up just a bit, and she saw the affection dancing in his eyes for a moment before he put on his calm and serene Kazekage expression. "I can have my ANBU escort me tonight and tomorrow, if you would like to spend time catching up with your friend."

"I can't leave you without a guard," Sakura replied, her brows furrowing slightly.

"I will be sure to have at least two ANBU by my side at all times, so please allow yourself to take a small break. You haven't taken a single day off since you arrived here."

Sakura glanced back at the two Suna ANBU standing behind Gaara to confirm that they'd be with him constantly. When both of them nodded their heads, she glanced back at Sai, who seemed only mildly interested in the conversation going on around him. For Sai though, an open mildly interested expression was the equivalent of Kankuro leaning forward in his seat far enough to tip over onto the ground.

"I'd like that," Sakura answered, grinning for a moment before clearing her throat and trying to rein in her excitement.

"I'll have one of my ink mice find you after the meeting is over," Sai said.

Sakura nodded her head and watched as Gaara, Sai, and two Suna ANBU agents began to move toward the direction of the Kazekage tower. She wasn’t sure what she would do with Sai later, but she had plenty of time to think about it before his meeting with Gaara ended.

Sakura turned back to the other Konoha ANBU agents, only vaguely recognizing the three of them. Even though she didn't recognize any of them by name, it was still nice to see more familiar faces that reminded her of home.

"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

*****

Sakura bit down on her lip, her eyebrows furrowed as she glared at the TV screen, furiously pressing buttons as she tried to read the movements of Sai's video game character. It had been a long time since she'd fought against someone who actually put thought into their attacks and bothered to learn the combos, and she was struggling.

"So," Sai began, his voice casual as his nightmarish character sent a high slash toward Sakura's character’s head. She just barely managed to evade, getting a bit of damage in before darting back. "How long have you been in a romantic relationship with the Kazekage?"

Sakura froze, her eyes widening as her fingers stopped responding. She watched as Sai took her moment of surprise to enter a long combo attack, his character crawling toward her creepily before moving into a series of slashes that sent her flying into the air. Sakura's character fell to the ground as the TV began to yell, "K.O”.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sakura grumbled.

"Yes you do. Your emotions always give you away."

Sakura clicked her tongue and glared at the TV for a moment, knowing that Sai was right, but not wanting to admit it out loud.

"You also never answered my question, though I suppose there isn't much need for that," Sai said, and Sakura could practically hear the smugness in his voice. She wanted to lie, but she also knew that even if she tried to say that there was nothing between her and Gaara, Sai would see right through her.

"I don't see any reason to answer you."

"You do realize that your refusal to answer is basically just confirming your relationship, right?"

Sakura fought off an embarrassed flush, reaching out and punching before she even realized what she was doing. Sai deflected easily, but she'd still connected with his palm hard enough that anyone else would have winced.

"You also get violent when you're embarrassed."

"Oh, shove it," Sakura grumbled, turning her attention back to the TV. She pressed the buttons to start up a new fight. "So, are you really only here for the escort mission?"

"Do you remember where we went before you came here?" Sai asked. Sakura nodded her head as vague memories of being completely covered in mud came to mind, wondering why Sai was mentioning the village they'd spied on so long ago. "I'm going back, after this mission is over."

"Why?"

Sai was quiet for a moment as he played, his character sending out a flurry of kicks and punches. "I suppose I could tell you, as this isn't strictly confidential and you already know of the situation there."

Sakura waited for Sai to speak again, her character countering one of his combos and sending his character flying into the air. Eventually he continued, "The people of that village have been spotted near the rainforests south of Konoha. They've been gathering small brightly colored frogs, and no one quite knows why."

"Wait, frogs?" Sakura asked, her eyes narrowing. She wasn't sure why, but there was something about the minimal description Sai had given her that was ringing a bell.

"Frogs."

Sakura let her thoughts wander as she tried to figure out why that description sounded so familiar, when she heard a screech coming from the TV. She shifted her attention back to the screen just in time to see her character go flying through the air, health bar depleted to almost nothing. Sakura shifted her focus away from her thoughts and back to the video game in front of her, somehow managing to come back from almost losing to destroy Sai's character.

They went through the rest of the night switching between playing video games and napping, not speaking any more on the frogs topic, until the time for Sai to leave on his mission finally arrived. They grabbed some coffee from Tsubaki's parents restaurant before moving through the streets of Suna at a leisurely pace. Dawn was slowly approaching, and despite the fact that the streets were still dark, there was a soft glow to the buildings that only really happened at this time of day.

They drew closer to the gates of the village until they finally spotted the large crack in the wall surrounding Suna. Standing just to the side was Gaara, and when Sakura saw him she felt her heart leap in her chest. She smiled softly, butterflies fluttering in her stomach when he discreetly smiled back.

"You're both terrible at being subtle," Sai murmured as he leaned closer to her, his voice quiet so that only she would hear him. She watched the way Gaara's smile faltered momentarily, and she wondered if maybe Sai had found out about their relationship because of one of Gaara's reactions.

Maybe Sai had found out when she'd hugged him after confirming that it really was him, since even she had noticed the tension in Gaara's shoulders afterward. Gaara wasn't the easiest person in the world to read, but Sai was used to reading even the smallest change in expression to see what matched up with the things his books had taught him. They were pretty similar, so it made sense that Sai could see the things that most people wouldn’t.

As they moved closer to the wall, Sakura took up her normal place beside Gaara while Sai moved closer to the exit of Suna. They stood there awkwardly with no one speaking at first, until Gaara lifted one of his hands to wave off his ANBU agents that had been hiding in the shadows.

"Thank you for agreeing to take on this mission, Sai-san," Gaara said suddenly, his voice calm and collected with the underlying tone of authority that he always used when speaking as the Kazekage.

"You don't need to thank me," Sai answered, his face neutral and blank. "It's actually quite convenient."

Gaara nodded his head, and then reached into his Kage robes. He withdrew a scroll and a capped syringe, handing them to Sai. "If your medic is attacked while you're traveling, this will stop the poison from spreading long enough to use this teleport scroll. It'll bring you to our hospital, where someone will draw out the poison."

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama."

"Please just call me Gaara."

Sakura could tell from the slight tilt of his head that Sai was confused by the request, so before he could question it she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

“Be careful out there, okay?” she asked, squeezing him tight before pulling away.

“Always,” Sai replied. His eyes flicked to Gaara before looking back at her seriously. “Stay happy, Sakura.”

Sakura opened her mouth to reply, but Sai had already darted back toward the gate. He joined his comrades and pulled his ANBU mask over his face, not glancing back even once as they quickly left the village. Sakura watched them, her brows furrowing slightly as she thought over the serious look in Sai’s eyes. His words had been simple enough, but that look had said a lot more, especially since he’d looked at Gaara first. Was he trying to say that he approved of their relationship?

"So, what's the plan?" Sakura asked as she turned back to Gaara, the soft smile from earlier reappearing on her lips. She took him in, pausing at the small smile on his own lips before moving back to his eyes.

"I have some paperwork to finish in the office. If I finish it quickly, we should have a bit of time before the meetings in the afternoon," Gaara said quietly.

Sakura watched him silently for a moment, wondering why his voice had sounded strange, as if there was another meaning behind his words. Before she could think about it too much, he'd turned and begun to walk in the direction of the Kazekage tower. Sakura took her place beside him, flushing slightly when he moved closer to her.

The streets of Suna were still dark and empty, and it seemed as if most people in this section of the village hadn't woken up yet. The sun still hadn't risen, so the residential district was full of people still sleeping in their homes, and the only people who would be awake this early were probably those who lived in the business district.

Sakura breathed in deeply, shifting her gaze to Gaara's face as they walked. There was something about the feeling of walking beside him at this time of day that sent a pleasant tingle down her spine. When they didn't have to hide away indoors or worry about the villagers seeing them, it just made everything feel so much more... _real_. It was as if they were just a normal couple out for an early morning stroll instead of a Kage and his bodyguard, and the thought made her heart race. How nice would it be if she could one day walk beside him just like this, out in the open for anyone to see, without having to hide their relationship?

"I don't sense anyone around us. Do you?" Gaara said suddenly, his soft voice cutting through Sakura's thoughts. She blinked in confusion, glancing around the empty streets and trying to feel anyone that might be nearby. When she neither saw nor felt any signs of life, she looked back at Gaara and shook her head. "Good."

Sakura watched as Gaara glanced around one last time before moving his gaze to lock eyes, a smile on his lips as his hand reached out to grab hers. Sakura wanted to look down at their hands but found herself unable to break eye contact, her lips parting slightly as he linked their fingers together.

After a moment, Gaara cleared his throat nervously and shifted his eyes to look directly in front of them. His shoulders were stiff and there was a soft flush to his cheeks, but when Sakura shifted her fingers to grasp his more certainly, his posture began to relax slightly.

Sakura felt sand on her arm and looked down, noticing finally that Gaara had created a cone of sand around their joined hands. The sand was swirling gently around them, blocking their hands from view. If someone were to glance at the sand, they likely wouldn't think anything of it because the sand blended in with the rest of the village.

They weren't exactly openly holding hands for anyone to see, but that didn't change the fact that they were out in public with their fingers laced together, like an ordinary couple that you would see in the streets of any village. Sakura felt her blush deepen as her heart raced faster in her chest.

It was such a small thing, and yet it felt so _important_. It was proof that their relationship wasn't just something easy and disposable. In this one moment, she became sure that this was something substantial and undeniable. It was real.


	21. Downpour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I barely managed to finish editing this in time and the only reason it was possible is because of TipsyRaconteur ;o; Thank you for being so awesome.

Sakura darted to the left, her breath coming out in harsh pants as she fell to the sand to avoid Gaara’s fist. Her eyes followed Gaara's movements to try and figure out where he would attack from next. The muscles in his right shoulder tensed slightly, so she quickly stood and moved to escape the incoming blow, her eyes widening when she found herself unable to move.

She glanced down, realizing that even with a dose of the chakra-blocking poison in his system, he'd managed to manipulate just enough sand to grab her arm and hold her in place. By the time she looked back to face him, he'd stepped forward and reached his arm out.

_Shit_ , Sakura inwardly cursed as Gaara grabbed her shirt. She shifted her body, trying desperately to keep her balance, but it was almost impossible to keep her footing on the sandy terrain. Gaara's eyes flicked down to her feet, obviously noticing her struggle, and then he quickly lifted his left foot to her hip and pulled on her shirt. Sakura's body tensed in resistance as Gaara fell back to the sand, his leg kicking her up and using her own momentum to send her body flying over his head. Sand flew into the air as Sakura landed hard on her back, the impact strong enough to cause the breath to leave her lungs.

A moment later she gasped, instinctively drawing in as much air as she could. That was a bad idea though, and she bolted into a sitting position and began coughing as the sand that had been in the air scratched at her throat, her eyes watering as it became harder to breathe.

"Are you alright?" Gaara asked from somewhere beside her. She couldn't see him, but she felt him place one hand on her shoulder, so he must have been close.

Sakura tried to speak, but just ended up coughing even harder, her hands moving to grab at her throat. She wasn't sure if it was because of the coughing, but she felt the sand begin to slowly move up her throat until it became easier to breathe again. Her eyes squeezed shut, the tears leaking down her cheeks as she tried to keep her breathing slow and even. 

When Sakura opened her eyes again, she blinked slowly, noticing that Gaara's hand was hovering just in front of her mouth. There was sweat on his forehead and his face was screwed in concentration as she watched sand slowly move from her parted lips to his hand. Gaara let out a heavy sigh when her breathing finally returned to normal, his hand dropping and letting the rest of the sand return to the training ground.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice still rough from coughing so much. She took in a few shaky breaths and laid back gently against the sand, being careful to make sure that no more sand flew into the air. Beside her, Gaara shifted so that his legs were stretched out, then he too laid down. "How long have you been able to use chakra even with the poison in your system?"

"Not very long," Gaara replied. "I felt it begin to return about an hour ago, but was unable to use it until the last ten minutes or so."

"So the poison only blocks your chakra for about an hour now?" Sakura asked, humming thoughtfully when Gaara nodded in response. "What about the sedative effects?"

"They only seemed to affect me for the first five minutes, but it's much easier to fight off now."

"I'm glad." Sakura smiled, shifting her eyes to the night sky, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

Silence fell around them as they watched the stars together. They were both exhausted; after training all day in the basement of the Kazekage residence, they'd waited until nightfall to move to the training grounds on the other side of the village. Gaara's ANBU had watched over them as they sparred with the chakra-blocking poison in both of their systems, even though all of the villagers had already gone to sleep for the night.

Sakura watched the way the stars twinkled in the inky black sky, shifting in the sand until she was more comfortable. There were no trees to obscure her vision, and the air was perfectly crisp and dry. She breathed in deeply, slowly, letting her eyes close as her entire body relaxed. When she opened them again a few moments later though, she frowned.

"Are those... clouds?" she asked, her brows knitting together.

"Yes," Gaara replied simply, and Sakura could hear the smile in his voice. She shifted her gaze to watch him as he stared up at the sky.

"How often does it rain in Suna?"

"Only about once a year, twice if we're lucky." Gaara shifted his eyes to her, and Sakura felt her stomach flip at the soft and intimate expression on his face. "We should get going if we don't want to be caught in it."

Sakura let the image of a wet Gaara float in her mind for a moment before quickly snapping herself out of it and nodding her head. She was kind of curious about how the rain would change the already beautiful scenery of Suna, but she could always watch it from her room.

With a sigh, Sakura stood and began to brush the sand from her pants. Gaara had already stood, and when Sakura glanced at him, she noticed that he was discreetly making hand signals. She immediately recognized them as the signals that called for his ANBU--she'd been taught those signals in case of an emergency--and shortly after, one of his ANBU appeared in front of them.

Gaara and the ANBU agent each made a flurry of hand signals that she didn't recognize, communicating silently in case anyone was watching them before the ANBU darted away and disappeared into the night. As she ruffled her hair to get the sand out of it, she watched Gaara begin to move toward where his overcoat and gourd lay in the sand.

"They're going to quickly check the perimeter one more time before leaving us for the night," Gaara said, as if sensing Sakura's curiosity.

Sakura nodded her head even though she knew that Gaara couldn't see it, before moving to where she'd left her items just a few paces away from where Gaara stood. She picked up her flak jacket and shook the sand away, her eyes following Gaara as he pulled his leather vest over his long overcoat. He then crouched, moving the leather straps attached to his gourd through the loops on his vest, his fingers deftly locking them into place.

She wasn't sure why, but she was entranced. Her gaze followed his every move, and when he looked up to see her staring at him as if he'd sensed eyes on him, she quickly looked away and back to the sky. The clouds had grown darker and thicker in the short span of time since she'd last seen them, and she wondered if they'd make it back to the residence in time to avoid the rain.

Before she could think about it too much, the ANBU agent reappeared by Gaara's side. She watched them make a few hand signals back and forth, only managing to recognize when Gaara motioned the sign for 'thank you' before the ANBU disappeared again.

"The coast is clear for us to return home," Gaara said quietly, a subtle smile playing on his lips. Sakura felt a small thrill run along her spine as she returned his smile, her mind lingering on the last word and wondering when the idea of the Kazekage residence being 'home' had started feeling... right.

"So they've all left for the night?" she asked, moving closer to Gaara. He finally stood from his crouching position and nodded. "Good."

Sakura reached her hand out, waiting for Gaara to return the gesture to lace their fingers together. The sand began to swirl around their hands, just as it had every time they'd walked back to the residence after Gaara dismissed his ANBU for the night for the last two weeks. Without another word, they began to leave the training grounds.

As they walked through the streets silently, Sakura tightened her fingers around Gaara's, her smile from earlier widening when he did the same. There was something about Gaara's presence that was so soothing, and yet it did nothing to stop the butterflies from fluttering in her stomach. If anything, the fact that he was always so calm made her react more easily to him.

They moved through the district with the ninja school until they reached the business district. There were only two more areas to pass before they reached the residence, but the wind had begun to pick up some time ago and was now swirling around them so hard that Sakura’s hair whipped around.

"It's going to start soon," Gaara murmured, and Sakura shifted her gaze to him, only to see that he was looking around the streets of the business district. "We may want to find shelter."

"It hasn't even started raining yet, though," Sakura said, but just as the words were out of her mouth, she felt the first few drops of rain land on her.

"The rain always picks up fast. We need to find somewhere to hide if we don't want to get drenched."

Sakura nodded her head, looking around at the buildings surrounding them to try and find somewhere they could stay until the rain passed. All of the businesses had already closed a long time ago, and she had no doubt that the doors were locked. She was wondering if it'd make more sense to just run to the residence when the light rainfall suddenly turned into a downpour. Within moments, the water began covering the streets around them as the ground struggled to absorb all of it at once.

"This way," Gaara said suddenly, his voice louder than normal to be heard over the rain. Sakura felt him tug on her hand and glanced down, noticing that the sand that had been swirling around their hands was now damp and heavy, its movements slow.

Gaara began moving forward and Sakura followed, running through the rain storm until she finally saw where Gaara was running to. There was an empty building at the very end of the street, if the lack of things in the windows was anything to judge by. The door to the building was open and swinging with the gusts of wind.

Once they'd run into the store, Sakura shut the door behind her. After taking a quick glance around the already dark room for a light switch, she quickly made a few hand signs and pressed her palms into the ground. She concentrated and drew some of the dirt from the streets under the door and then lifted it to form walls in front of the windows that were rattling dangerously, and then in front of the door to keep it from swinging open again.

After listening to make sure she hadn't missed any windows, Sakura stood and flipped the light switch, grateful that the electricity was still working. When she turned to take a look at the shop, the first thing she noticed was that the walls had been painted a pretty coral color with a dark brown, almost black, carpet. It stood out against the usual muted yellows and deep reds she'd come to associate with Suna.

The only things in the room besides the light fixtures was a large counter attached to one of the walls, which must have been where the store had kept their cash register. There was an open doorway at the very back of the room, and through it she could see a simple sink. That must have been the bathroom.

A strong gust of wind blew outside and slipped through her dirt walls, causing a shiver to run along her skin. Night time in Suna was always cold, especially when compared to the day time, and was only worse when standing in an empty room in soaked clothing. She saw Gaara shiver out of the corner of her eye and knew that they needed to get out of their wet clothes sooner rather than later.

Sakura moved toward the bathroom, realizing once she got closer that the door hadn't just been left open, and instead there wasn't a door at all. After stepping through the doorway, she bent down, sighing with relief when she realized that the pipes to the sink were still intact.

"There’s a bathroom over here," Sakura said, waving Gaara over to the bathroom before taking her shoes off. She placed them underneath the sink and began to remove her flak jacket just as she heard Gaara's sand gourd hit the floor on the other side of the wall. "We need to get as much water out of our clothes as possible."

After moving further into the bathroom to make room for Gaara, Sakura held her flak jacket over the sink and began to wring it out. To her side, Gaara had already taken off his long overcoat, and she watched the muscles in his arms shift under his skin as he began to twist the fabric above the sink. Her eyes shifted to the shirt he was wearing, frowning as she realized just how soaked Gaara was, even with his overcoat off. Clothing in Suna was designed to absorb as much moisture as possible to help with heat distribution during the day, so it had retained almost all of the rain.

Sakura slid past Gaara and walked back into the empty store, placing her damp flak jacket on the counter to dry as she heard more water hit the porcelain sink. She cleared her throat to get Gaara's attention and then leaned against the wall on the other side of the bathroom, making sure that there was no way her eyes would be able to see into it.

"Hey, Gaara..." she started, pausing to chew on her lower lip before continuing, "you should probably remove all of your clothing and wring out as much water as you can."

"Everything?" Gaara asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice. She nodded, then quickly realized that he wouldn't be able to see her.

"Everything," she confirmed. "You can put some clothing back on afterward, but you should really only wear what you feel is completely necessary."

The water being wrung into the sink stopped as Gaara hesitated before replying with a simple, "Alright."

A few moments later, the sound of wet clothing peeling off of his body hit her ears, her face flushing more and more with each item of clothing she heard being removed. Which was ridiculous. She'd seen more than her fair share of naked men in her life, given that she worked in a hospital and handled a lot of surgeries. There was no reason for her to blush at the thought of Gaara naked on the other side of the wall, especially when she couldn't even see him.

Still, that thought caused a brief image to flash through her mind of what Gaara might look like right now. Before she could think about it too much, she began to look around the room, desperate for anything that would keep her mind from following that train of thought.

Most of the lights in the store were dull, except for the one near the counter where the register had probably been. Sakura wandered over to it, holding her hands beneath it and smiling when the warmth from the bulb sent pleasant tingles along her arms. Her eyes fell to the floor as they caught sight of something colorful hidden behind the counter. She shifted to kneel, reaching into the back corner until her fingers grabbed the colorful fabric and pulled it out, realizing as she pulled that it was a blanket.

Sakura stood again, holding the brightly-patterned blanket in front of her. There was a large brown stain in the center that vaguely smelled like coffee, which she guessed was why the store had left it behind. The blanket wasn't very thick, but it was better than nothing and would help keep them warm.

"What's that?"

Sakura was only slightly surprised by Gaara's voice behind her. When she turned to face him, she kept her eyes determinedly on his face, not wanting to know how much--or how little--clothing he was wearing.

"Something the store left behind," Sakura replied, handing the blanket over to Gaara. "Wrap this around yourself and stay near the light to keep warm."

After Gaara nodded in response, Sakura moved past him until she reached the bathroom. She peeked her head around the doorway, making sure that Gaara was unable to see her before peeling off all of her clothing one by one. She wrung everything out over the sink together, and once she'd gotten as much water out of her clothes as she could, she placed the items on the sink. Her eyes skimmed over them as she tried to figure out what she actually needed to wear.

Sakura pulled on her black sports bra and panties, leaving her Suna uniform top and pants where they were. There was no way she’d be able to go out there in just her underwear, so she pulled on the shorts she’d worn under her pants as well and then left the bathroom with her top and pants in her arms.

After placing her clothing beside Gaara's to dry on the counter, she moved to the other side of the counter where Gaara was standing, his back leaning against the wall by the light. He had the blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his eyes were closed. Even like this, wrapped in a ridiculously bright blanket, he still managed to look almost serene.

As if sensing her gaze on him, Gaara's eyes opened, quickly moving up and down her body before looking away pointedly, his cheeks slightly red. She suddenly became aware of how little clothing she was really wearing, even though it was the same amount that she usually wore when they trained together, and ducked her head. There was something about the vibe in the room right now that made her feel like the clothes she was wearing weren't even there.

Maybe it was the soft lighting of the empty store, or the pattering of rain against the windows that she could still hear. Maybe it was the fact that they were the only ones in here, and that there was no way anyone would see them through her dirt walls or hear them through the downpour going on outside. Maybe it was all of those things, but the room was charged with energy and something felt different between them right now.

Gaara took in a deep breath and opened his arms, making space for Sakura to join him in the blanket. She couldn't help but glance down when she caught the pale expanse of skin that had been revealed, her mouth opening slightly. Gaara was more muscular than she'd expected him to be, probably from carrying a giant gourd on his back all the time, but his form still managed to be lithe and elegant. As her eyes took him in, she realized that he was shivering and quickly moved to step into the blanket, not wanting him to get sick because she made him wait.

After she was inside the blanket they slid down the wall until they were sitting side by side, legs folded against their chests. Sakura began to maneuver the blanket around her to keep as much heat inside as possible, and Gaara quickly followed suit and fixed the blanket on his side until both of them were almost completely wrapped in the fabric. Their heads were still above the blanket and exposed to the cold, something that Sakura was grateful for. The shock of cold against her face helped her to not focus on the fact that both of their barely-clothed bodies were so close to each other beneath the blanket.

Gaara shivered once more, and Sakura felt him move around under the blanket, glancing at him and frowning when she realized from his movements that he was rubbing his arms with his hands. It was a perfectly normal response to the cold, but when the temperature was this cold, it was dangerous.

"Don't do that," Sakura murmured. Gaara turned to look at her, clearly confused, and Sakura had to fight the urge to squirm at how close his face was to hers right now. "If you rub your arms, you could send cold blood to your vital organs."

Gaara nodded his head slowly and moved his hands away, but instead of putting them back where they were before, he lifted his arm, wrapping it around her shoulders. Sakura blinked in surprise when Gaara tugged her against him, flushing as her side was pressed against his.

"I’ve heard that body contact can help you keep warm," Gaara said quietly.

"Where did you learn that?" Sakura asked, her voice a little breathless.

"You taught me that several years ago when I visited Konoha during the winter, Sakura."

Sakura's heart beat faster against her chest as she became more aware of exactly how close they were right now. The vibe in the room was definitely affecting the way she was reacting to him, because her name on his lips sounded so incredibly _intimate_ that it sent a shiver down her spine that definitely wasn't caused by the cold in the room.

Her eyes searched his, immediately noticing the nervousness that lingered there, but there was something deeper in them as well. Gaara's hand that wasn't around her shoulder shifted beneath the blanket, but she didn't pay it any mind until he'd moved it to rest gently against her face. Her breath caught in her throat as the butterflies in her stomach began to flutter madly, the feeling only growing more intense when she felt him take in a deep breath. They were so, _so_ close.

"Sakura," he whispered, a question in his voice.

Sakura couldn't bring herself to say anything more than a simple, "Hmm?"

"Can I..." Gaara trailed off, his tone hesitant even as his eyes flicked down to her lips so briefly that she likely would have missed it if they weren't so close. Her heartbeat grew louder--or was that his?--as she smiled.

"Please do," Sakura said softly, pleasant tingles running along her skin as he smiled back with relief.

She leaned closer, grateful that she didn't have to wait long before their lips touched gently. Her eyes fluttered shut as Gaara pressed his lips more fully against hers, his hand that was resting against her face moving to slide into her hair, holding her there. The feeling of his fingers in her hair caused her to sigh into the kiss, her mouth parting slightly.

Sakura felt Gaara's body tense just before the tip of his tongue hesitantly touched her lower lip. For a moment she was taken by surprise, but when she shifted her hand to rest on Gaara's chest and felt his heart beating beneath her fingertips, she realized that he was just as affected as she was. 

She smiled into the kiss and parted her lips further, shivering when his tongue finally met hers. Sakura shifted closer to him, gently caressing his tongue with hers and melting as he responded, still somewhat shy but more eager than before. 

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before the rainstorm finally let up, but she could have stayed there in his arms forever.


	22. Knock Knock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TipsyRaconteur for beta'ing and being awesome~ ♥

Sakura jolted up in bed, her heart beating against her chest as she suddenly woke to the sound of someone pounding on her bedroom door. She stared at it for a long moment, wondering if an enemy would bother alerting her to their presence, until she heard a familiar voice begin to shout, "Sakura! Wake up already!"

Sakura groaned, throwing the blankets off of her as she shifted her gaze to the small crack in her curtains, eyes narrowing as she realized that it was still dark outside.

"Kankuro! It's way too early for this!"

The pounding on the door stopped, and she wondered what kind of expression he was making right now. He was probably debating opening the lock to her door with his chakra strings, but the last time he'd done that without her permission back in Konoha, he'd ended up with a broken nose and a face full of dirt.

"I promise it's important!"

Sakura glared at the door, and was wondering if Kankuro's idea of important was worth losing sleep over when he began to pound his fist against her door again, this time to the beat of an obnoxious song that always seemed to get stuck in her head easily.

"Fine, I'm coming!" she yelled, clambering out of bed and throwing a t-shirt on over her shorts before moving to open the door. Sakura ducked immediately as Kankuro's fist came barreling toward her face, apparently so excited about whatever he'd deemed important that he hadn't heard her come to the door.

"Good morning," Kankuro said happily, his tone of voice sticky sweet as he grinned mischievously.

"This better be an emergency," Sakura growled, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited.

"It is, if you consider the fact that your breakfast is getting cold an emergency."

"I don't."

"Oh... Well, too bad. Breakfast is getting cold, so wake up."

Sakura's mouth gaped open as she watched Kankuro move down the hall until he reached Gaara's bedroom door. He began pounding his fist against the dark wood, and when Gaara opened the door a moment later, he had to duck to avoid Kankuro's fist in the same way that Sakura had.

"Good morning, my dear little brother! Breakfast is waiting!"

There was a grumbled response from Gaara that Sakura couldn't quite hear. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept well, and Sakura kept her eyes on him as he yawned and lifted an arm to rub the back of his neck. The motion made his robe shift just enough for her to realize that he wasn't wearing a shirt beneath his robe. Her mind immediately flashed back to the way his chest had felt beneath her fingers when they'd found shelter from the rainstorm a week ago.

"Sakura-chan," Kankuro sang, his footsteps bringing him back to where Sakura still stood awkwardly in the doorway to her room. "Why are you blushing?"

"I'm not," Sakura answered, quickly schooling her features into a blank and tired expression. There was movement from Gaara's bedroom door, and from the corner of her eye she watched him go back into his room.

Kankuro hummed thoughtfully, ducking his head down to stare at her, his face tilted to the side and far too close to hers. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he studied her.

"You're a liar," he hissed, jumping out of the way when Sakura's foot went flying toward his legs. "I stand corrected. You're a _violent_ liar."

"It's way too early for this," Sakura growled, the fist she'd started to pull back falling to her side as she heard the door to Gaara's bedroom shut. She glanced over, watching as he began to move toward them--thankfully with a fresh shirt and his small gourd of sand around his waist. 

Kankuro used her brief moment of distraction to reach out, booping her on the nose before turning toward the stairwell and screaming, "Onward!" at the top of his lungs.

"What the hell," Sakura grumbled under her breath, wincing from the sheer volume of Kankuro's voice. She heard a soft chuckle from beside her and glanced over to see Gaara standing by her side, an amused smile on his lips.

"I imagine he's just excited to see us again. It's been quite a while, after all."

Sakura's eyes narrowed as Gaara's soothing voice threatened to calm her down. "That doesn't mean he needs to scream like a mountain goat, though."

"You're right," Gaara replied simply. Sakura watched the laughter dance through his eyes before sighing, giving in to the ridiculousness and letting herself chuckle softly. It really had been a long time since she'd been around Kankuro's somewhat obnoxious energy, and as much as it annoyed her sometimes, she'd also missed it.

"So, what kind of breakfast do you think he has planned?" Sakura asked as they began walking, following Kankuro to the end of the hallway and down the stairs. Gaara just shrugged his shoulders, though Sakura didn't miss the worry that flashed through his eyes.

When they reached the dining room and Sakura finally got to see the breakfast Kankuro had been so excited about, she wrinkled her nose. There were three seats with food in front of them, and everything looked like it was either overcooked or undercooked, or in some cases both.

"Are you trying to give us food poisoning?" Sakura asked seriously. Kankuro gasped and pressed a hand to his chest dramatically, his face contorting into a look of pure indignation.

"I would never!" Kankuro wilted as Sakura fixed him with a hard stare, saying, "I just heard that you guys haven't eaten breakfast in the residence since Yo-- well, it's been a while. I figured you might appreciate a nice home-cooked meal."

Sakura studied the concern--and something that looked almost like loneliness--in Kankuro's expression for a moment before sighing, giving in. She moved to sit where she'd always sat at the table before with Kankuro seated by her side, exchanging a look with Gaara from across the table as he poked at his fried egg with his chopsticks. It was definitely overcooked, if the way it didn't move even after being stabbed with a bit of force was any indication.

"I worked hard on this, so you both better eat everything," Kankuro declared. Gaara opened his mouth, maybe to object, but Kankuro cut him off before any sounds could escape his lips. "You may be the Kazekage, but I'm your older brother. You have to listen to what I say."

"I wish Temari was here to overthrow the evil dictator," Sakura grumbled as she poked at her own egg, which was definitely undercooked, if the slimy top of it was any indication. To her side, Kankuro slammed his chopsticks down on the table hard enough that her food bounced up from the plate.

"Why, you ungrateful little--"

Sakura never got to hear the rest of that sentence, because just then a sound came from across the table that had both her and Kankuro immediately shifting their attention. Gaara was laughing, and while it wasn't the loud and boisterous laugh that someone like Naruto usually had, it was definitely louder than his usual quiet chuckles.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kankuro gaping like a fish dangling on a hook, but she couldn't look away. Gaara seemed to notice the sudden silence in the room because he stopped laughing, his eyes widening as he glanced between them before awkwardly clearing his throat.

"Let's eat, shall we?"

*****

Sakura flipped the page of her book, leaning her forearms against the Kazekage's desk. Across from her, she heard Gaara flip through some of the paperwork he'd been going through. A soft groan escaped his lips as he stamped one of the papers before moving it to the side of the desk.

"Is Kankuro's breakfast still bothering you?" she asked. Gaara shook his head and smiled wearily.

"I'm alright."

"You know there's no point in lying to me, right?" Sakura questioned, raising a single eyebrow.

"Of course."

Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously, watching him as he continued to go through his paperwork. He was sweating and looked feverish, but she let him keep working until the last piece of paper from in front of him had been moved to the other side of the desk.

"Are you done with everything for the day?" she asked.

"Yes. We should be able to return home soon."

"Good," Sakura said, stretching as she stood. "Now, just stay there and let me heal you."

Sakura moved around the desk until she was standing just in front of his chair, standing on her tiptoes and scooting back so that she was seated on his desk. She grabbed at the arms of his chair with her feet and tugged him closer. Once he was where she wanted him, she dropped her feet to the floor, letting them dangle next to his knees.

"Lean back for me," she said softly, ignoring the way her heart fluttered at their close proximity. Gaara did as she requested and pushed on the back of the chair, giving her better access to his stomach.

She leaned forward, pressing her hands to the shirt over his stomach, blinking in surprise when Gaara lifted his shirt a little. Her eyes flicked up to his face to find him looking away pointedly, his cheeks flushed.

"It'll be easier for you if there's direct skin contact, right?"

Sakura smiled softly, nodding her head before realizing that he couldn't see her and instead whispering, "Yes, thank you."

She pressed her palm to his stomach, ignoring the way her skin tingled at the contact and forcing herself to focus on healing him. She closed her eyes, pushing her chakra into his system, moving it gently to search for the source of his pain. It didn't take long to find the mild food poisoning, and she quickly went to work using her chakra to speed up the white blood cells and help the gut flora flush out the food poisoning. She made sure that all of the harmful bacteria was gone and then made a mental note to make sure Gaara drank some liquids with electrolyte replacements later.

"All done," Sakura murmured. She pulled her hands back, but before she could lean her body away, Gaara returned his chair to a sitting position. His face was suddenly close to hers, and her breath caught in her throat as their eyes locked.

"Thank you," he whispered, his breath fanning softly across her face. Sakura nodded, her cheeks flushing slightly as she licked her lips, her heartbeat speeding up. After a moment of contemplation, she leaned forward, pausing when their lips were mere centimeters apart. She searched his eyes for any hesitation, but when Gaara didn't move away she closed the distance, her eyes fluttering closed.

Sakura pressed her lips against Gaara's gently, keeping the kiss as innocent as possible in case anyone decided to walk in. She lingered there, resisting the urge to deepen the kiss, before pulling away and smiling softly. "I'll take that as my reward."

Gaara chuckled softly and lifted his hand to cup her cheek, returning her smile easily. Something flashed through his eyes as his fingers played with the loose strands of hair around her face. "Are you sure you don't want a better reward?" 

Tingles ran along Sakura's skin as Gaara's voice poured into her, his words causing all sorts of images to briefly flash through her mind. She knew logically that they should be as professional as possible while they were in the Kazekage office, but the other part of her argued that he was already done with his work for the day. No one would be able to enter the room without unlocking the door first, and the only people who currently had access to the office were her and Gaara. She knew that his ANBU were hiding in the break room waiting for orders, but they were far away and sworn to secrecy. There wasn’t really any reason to keep herself on such a tight leash right now.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked, her voice more breathless than she’d thought it would be.

Gaara's free hand moved to rest on her thigh as he moved closer once again, and she responded by leaning into his palm, a soft gasp escaping her lips as he kissed her again. This time, he pressed his lips fully against hers, his head tilting to deepen the kiss. 

Sakura whimpered quietly, all thoughts escaping her as she pushed her fingers into his hair, fingers gently gripping onto the soft red strands. When Gaara lightly sucked on her lower lip she melted, pressing as close to him as she possibly could. Just as she was about to slide down from the desk and into his chair, though, someone knocked on the door.

It took a moment to gather enough self control to pull away from the kiss, but when she did she watched Gaara closely, immediately recognizing the desire that flooded his eyes, just as it had likely flooded hers. Her skin tingled as she realized that right now, he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

The person on the other side of the door knocked again in a strange pattern that she couldn’t identify. She watched as Gaara listened intently, and then he was sliding his hands into his lap and nodding to indicate that he knew who was on the other side. He leaned back in his chair, and Sakura groaned wordlessly. She knew that it was probably a good thing that they were interrupted, but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.

With a sigh, Sakura stood and ran her hands over her clothes to make sure she was presentable before moving to the door. Her eyes shifted back to Gaara as her hand hovered over the seals, noticing that he was sitting very still with his legs crossed awkwardly. He’d already fixed his hair, and even though she could tell that he was very tense, he had his usual calm expression pasted onto his face.

Sakura pressed her chakra into the seals on the door, waiting for all of them to unlock before turning the physical lock they'd had installed. When she finally opened the door, her mouth dropped slightly in surprise when she saw Shin standing on the other side of the door. 

His eyes glanced her over and then locked onto her open mouth curiously. His gaze narrowed as he glanced toward Gaara before turning back to her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Sakura asked. She was trying to keep calm, but there was something about Shin’s presence that rubbed her the wrong way, and it seemed that that hadn’t changed since the last time she saw him.

"Oh, nothing," he replied nonchalantly, moving further into the Kazekage office without waiting for Sakura to move. His arm bumped her shoulder hard, and Sakura had to grit her teeth and fight the urge to kick him as she closed the door a little harder than necessary.

_"Oh, nothing,"_ Sakura mocked quietly, rolling her eyes before glaring at him.

"You really don't have any sense of self-preservation, do you?" Shin asked, turning his head back to smirk at her knowingly.

Sakura's mouth was already open to throw back a retort, but the words died on her lips when she really looked at him. The smirk on his lips was the closest thing to a smile that she'd seen from him since Yori had kidnapped Gaara over a month ago. She looked him over, her agitation dissipating somewhat when she realized that he'd put on some of the weight he'd lost. The bags under his eyes weren't nearly as bad as they'd been, and his skin was back to its normal tan color. He looked a lot healthier, and the medic side of her couldn’t help but be happy for him.

"Kazekage-sama," Shin began, moving closer to Gaara's desk and bowing. "With your permission, I'd like to be reinstated as your personal guard."

"Have you taken care of everything you needed to address?" Gaara asked seriously.

Shin straightened from his bow to nod, before glancing back to Sakura. His expression was carefully blank, but Sakura could practically hear the smirk that wanted to be on his lips when he said, "It seems that you two have grown rather... _close_ in my absence. I would understand if you didn't want me to get in the way."

Sakura's face flushed with embarrassment as she clenched her fist, digging her nails into her palm to keep from actually punching him. "Are you sure you're not just saying that because you aren't up to the task?"

This time, Shin turned fully to face Sakura, a single eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest defiantly. "Are you suggesting that I'm no longer strong enough to protect Gaara-sama?"

"I never saw you fight before, so I don't even know if you were strong enough to begin with," Sakura replied flippantly, smirking when his eyes narrowed into a glare. Now that Shin was finally back to his sarcastic self, she found it hard not to poke at him a little harder than necessary. 

"You sound like you want me to kick your ass."

"Like you even could," Sakura snorted, hands resting on her hips. "Prickly bastard."

From further into the room she heard Gaara clear his throat and immediately shifted her gaze to find him standing by the hallway hidden behind a bookshelf. He tapped on the wall exactly four times, and suddenly two ANBU agents came through the opening and into the room.

"All of you, come with me," Gaara said, his tone hard and serious, giving no room for argument.

Sakura felt her frustration soften as Gaara moved past her, his sand gently brushing against the back of her hand before he moved into the stairwell. Shin and the two ANBU agents followed him, and after a moment of hesitation Sakura followed as well, making sure to shut and lock the door behind her.

The five of them moved through the streets of Suna, drawing attention from the few citizens who had yet to turn in for the night, but no one came up to them. It made sense, of course; two ANBU agents, two personal guards, and the Kazekage himself were not the type of people that citizens usually tried to make casual conversation with.

The further away from the Kazekage tower they got, the more curious Sakura became. They'd already passed several housing districts as well as the business district, and there weren't very many places of interest on this side of the village. The only areas left in this direction were the ninja shops and the--

_Oh_ , Sakura thought to herself, a grin pulling at her lips as she realized exactly where they were going. _We’re going to the training grounds._


	23. Escalate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta’ing and being amazing. Idk what I would do without you two in my life.  
> Also thanks to xfayewrites for bringing back my inspiration for this fic, and auroskhai for making my entire month with all of your uwus.

Moonlight covered the sand of the training ground, the chill of the night brushing against the thin sheen of sweat that had started forming on Sakura's skin as she warmed up her body. Across the large expanse of sand Shin was stretching his legs out, while Gaara and his two ANBU agents hovered above them on clouds of sand.

"It's not too late to back out!" Shin yelled, his voice echoing against the walls of dirt that Gaara's ANBU had erected to surround the training ground. Apparently, they were expecting this fight to get messy, because they'd created the walls to keep debris from flying out of the training grounds and hitting the buildings nearby.

"You've already said that three times!" Sakura yelled back while stretching her legs. "Are you sure you're not afraid of me?"

Shin laughed as if that was the most ridiculous idea in the world, the mirth in his laughter causing a scowl to fall on Sakura's lips. She'd thought about going easy on him since he was still recovering, but he seemed to be antagonizing her on purpose. If he wanted her to fight him all out, she would do it, and she'd prove that he was wrong to underestimate her.

Just as she finished warming up, Gaara floated down to hover just above the training ground, his arms crossed over his chest as he glanced back and forth between her and Shin before asking, "Are the two of you ready?"

Sakura and Shin nodded at the same time, and Gaara floated back into the sky to watch over them. The tension in the air was palpable as Sakura stared Shin down, her fists clenched at her sides. She shifted into an offensive position, narrowing her eyes when she realized that Shin hadn't moved at all.

"Begin!" Gaara's voice boomed from the sky, and before the word was fully out of his mouth, Sakura had sent chakra to her feet and charged toward Shin.

From across the sand, she could barely see that Shin was making signs with his hands, though it was impossible to tell what kind of jutsu he was preparing to use when it was this dark out. Just then he dropped to the ground, pressing his palms into the sand.

Sakura halted in her tracks as a tall dirt wall rose up in front of her, blocking her path. She gritted her teeth and sent chakra to her fist, throwing a punch to break through the wall. When a large dirt spike went flying through the hole she’d just created she immediately jumped out of the way, hissing as the sharp tip grazed her arm.

The fact that Shin was trying so hard to keep her away probably meant that he was a distance fighter, and Sakura knew that she needed to close the distance between them. A shiver of excitement ran along her body at the promise of a proper challenge. She ran through her options quickly before forming a series of seals, pushing her palms to the ground to summon a shadow clone made of mud. 

The clone moved toward him rapidly, and Sakura smirked when Shin threw his kunai at it. The kunai were immediately swallowed by the mud, and with his weapons now gone, Sakura wasted no time shoving chakra into her hands and feet. She darted around the wall Shin had raised earlier just as her clone grabbed onto one of Shin’s arms to hold him in place.

“Fuck!” Shin yelled, lifting his free arm to try and make hand signals for a jutsu, but he was too slow.

Sakura closed the remaining distance and pulled her fist back. Just as her clone let go of Shin’s arm, she threw a punch directly at his face, sending him flying across the training grounds. He slammed into one of the outer walls and slid down to the sand, coughing as the wind was knocked out of him.

Sakura watched intently as Shin reached into his hip pouch, dismissing her clone to conserve as much chakra as possible. She tensed as she prepared to dodge his projectiles, then frowned when she realized that he'd withdrawn a scroll. Shin flicked his wrist and the scroll unraveled with a flourish, and suddenly a kusarigama appeared. Sakura eyed the weapon cautiously, realizing that the iron weight on one end of the long chain seemed heavier than all of the ones she'd seen before. The sickle blade on the other end of the chain gleamed in the moonlight, and she could tell even from this distance that Shin kept it meticulously sharpened.

She began to think through her options, trying to figure out how to get close without her own weapon, but Shin gave her no time to come up with a plan. He closed in on her swiftly, and she jumped back to dart out of the way, but he'd already started moving again. The heavy end of the chain flung out toward her, wrapping around one of her ankles and sending her stumbling as he yanked her toward him.

Sakura yelped as she fell back into the sand, her ankle screaming in pain as she sent chakra to her legs, pulling at the chain until it started to unravel, managing to pull her leg free. She debated moving in on him and trying to force close combat, but he would be expecting that. Her fighting style wasn't exactly a secret, and if she was going to fight someone who was strong enough to be a Kage's personal guard, she needed a plan.

She jumped back, trying to gain as much distance as possible while she figured things out, but the pain in her ankle slowed her down just enough for Shin to go on the offensive. He swung the sickle end of his chain toward her, the blade grazing her side just as she darted away, hiding behind the dirt wall Shin had created earlier.

"Shit," she hissed quietly, leaning against the wall as she glanced at the wound on her side, frowning when she realized that the blade hadn't just grazed her earlier.

The cut was deep and bleeding so much that it had started soaking through her shirt. Her fingers hovered over the open wound, pushing healing chakra into her skin to try and stop the bleeding. The last thing she needed was to be light headed from a loss of blood right now.

"Running like a coward now, are you?" Shin called out, attempting to egg her on.

Sakura stayed silent, instantly recognizing the way Shin was having trouble speaking through the way his voice was stuffy and his words slightly slurred. She'd definitely broken his nose earlier, and even though she knew he was angry about it right now, she also knew that he wouldn't act recklessly anymore. Hopefully his hesitation would buy her enough time to figure out a plan.

Her eyes shifted around the dark training ground, narrowing as she caught a glimpse of a faint light moving against one of the walls. Seeing as the walls were surrounding them completely, there was no way that it was coming from an outside source. As the light moved closer to her, the sound of the chain on Shin’s weapon grew louder, and suddenly the realization hit her.

_Of course. He's using wind chakra,_ Sakura thought to herself, realizing why the cut on her side had been so deep when it'd only grazed her. Asuma-sensei’s blades had always glowed when they absorbed his wind chakra, and they’d always done far more damage than what should be possible. She took her fingers away from the wound once it was healed enough to stop the bleeding.

The fact that Shin had called out to her even with a broken jaw meant that he was getting impatient, and would no doubt attack her soon. He would be using his weapon to attack, but there was no way he would attack blindly with the sickle end, and the movements he could make with the heavy end without knowing her exact location were limited. He could make approximations because of the glow from her healing chakra earlier, but that wasn't nearly enough information.

Shin would come to her on his own, full of half-baked confidence from _kind of_ knowing where she was. And when he did, that would be her chance to strike.

Sakura crouched low to the ground, her body tense as she prepared to push chakra into her feet and lower arms. The sound of Shin's chain swinging grew closer to her right side, and moments later there was a loud 'boom' that rang against the walls surrounding them.

Sand went flying into the air as the ground shook violently, no doubt absorbing the shockwaves from the heavy end of Shin's weapon smashing into the ground. He was likely aiming to lower her visibility since the sand was _his_ territory, but she kept her her focus, relying on her other senses to make up for her sight being obscured.

Her ears caught the rattling of Shin's chain as it moved closer to her right side, and when he finally reached the other side of the wall, she shoved chakra into her feet and arms. Shin came bursting through the sand cloud, his face swollen and weapon raised to strike, but Sakura had anticipated this.

She pushed against the ground, moving too quickly for Shin to keep up as she dashed behind him. Before he had time to turn, she slammed her arm that was coated in chakra against the back of his head, sending him flying face-first into the sand. As he fell, he shifted his grip on his weapon, swinging the chain behind him.

Sakura screamed as the chakra-enhanced sickle cut through the back of her legs, the pain searing through her and causing her vision to blur around the edges. She fell to her knees, clenching her teeth as she summoned every last ounce of willpower to remain kneeling. There was no way that she would allow herself to fall--not when she was so close to winning.

There was movement above her and suddenly Gaara was floating down to her, his two ANBU agents behind him. One of the ANBU darted toward her with glowing green hands while the other went to Shin to check his vitals. The medic pressed their chakra into her, stitching her ligaments and veins back together so quickly that even through the pain and blood loss, Sakura was surprised.

"Can you heal the rest yourself?" the medic asked, their voice soft and ambiguous enough that Sakura couldn’t tell if they were male or female. She nodded her head and watched as they immediately moved to take care of Shin, glowing green chakra hovering over the back of his head where Sakura had hit him.

Sakura winced as she shifted to a sitting position, the partially healed wounds tugging painfully as she pulled her knees to her chest. Once she had a better angle, she moved her hands to hover over the back of her legs, pressing her healing chakra into the deep slashes and trying to focus.

"He has a grade three concussion and his nose is broken pretty badly, but he'll be okay," the medic said, and Sakura saw Gaara nod out of the corner of her eye as she continued healing herself, moving to her side once the wounds in her legs were healed.

"You should bring him to the hospital for observation anyway," Sakura stated as she stood, stretching her arms above her head. The skin she'd just healed pulled slightly like it would have if it had scarred over, but considering how deep the cut had been, she was lucky it wasn't worse. "If the concussion was bad enough that he passed out, complications might pop up later."

"Mountain can bring him, then. I'll escort you both back to the residence," the medic replied as they turned Shin over onto his back. Sakura was confused for a moment before realizing that Suna ANBU didn’t use animal code names like they did in Konoha, and that ‘Mountain’ must have been the ANBU who was now standing beside Gaara.

"Shin-san is unconscious, and would only be a burden if Mountain were to be attacked while taking him to the hospital alone. Go with them, please,” Gaara said. “Haruno-san and I are both well enough to fight if we need to."

“I don’t know,” the medic murmured. Sakura caught their eyes darting to the pink skin on the back of her thighs before shifting back to where Shin lay in the sand.

"How about this,” Mountain began, clapping a hand onto the medic’s shoulder. “I’ll go make sure that Kazekage-sama’s path to the residence is clear. That way you don’t have to worry so much, okay?”

The medic shifted their eyes between them, glancing from Gaara to Mountain, and then back to Shin before they sighed and nodded. “Alright.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Mountain said, smiling reassuringly before darting off into the night, climbing the wall surrounding the training ground. Once he’d disappeared behind the wall Sakura moved over to where Shin still lay in the sand, frowning as she realized how bad the damage to his face really was. 

"Let me help," Sakura said quietly as she crouched down, blinking in surprise when her hands were quickly but gently pushed away.

"Conserve your chakra. We'll be relying on you if Gaara-sama is attacked."

Sakura couldn't refute that, so she pulled her arms back, her fingertips pressing into the sand to help keep her balance as she stayed crouched. She watched with fascination as Shin's nose was slowly healed, the swelling and bruising going down as the bones were moved back into place. Normally, she would be the one in charge of healing the patient, and it had been a long time since she'd been able to watch someone else do the healing.

Just as the skin near Shin's nose healed into a shiny pink color like a scar, Mountain appeared beside them. He pressed his palms into the sand, and the walls that had been surrounding them suddenly disappeared beneath the sand as if they'd never been there.

"The coast is clear, but we should head out soon. It won't be long before dawn breaks, and we could all use some sleep."

Sakura glanced around her, realizing for the first time that the smallest hint of orange had appeared in the sky, softly illuminating the training ground. She could make out the large dip in the sand where Shin had slammed his weapon into the ground. The places where she'd been hit by the sickle-end of his weapon stood out as well, her blood soaking into the sand changing it into a dark shade of vermilion.

She hadn’t expected the fight with Shin to be so difficult, but she was glad that it had been. He was strong, and there was no doubt in her mind that he would be able to protect Gaara if the situation ever called for it. She’d also gotten to properly spar for the first time in ages, and the burn in her muscles felt _good_.

“We’ll be off, Kazekage-sama,” Mountain spoke up, and Sakura shifted her eyes to where he was standing. The medic was beside him with Shin draped carefully over their back, though Sakura wasn’t sure how they were managing to stay standing. The medic’s small and slender frame looked as if it would be crushed under the weight of Shin’s height.

“Thank you,” Gaara said. “Keep him safe.”

“Of course, Kazekage-sama.”

Mountain bowed toward Gaara before darting off into the night once again, this time with the medic by his side. Sakura watched their backs for a moment before shifting her eyes to Gaara, her heart fluttering when she saw the soft affection in his gaze.

“You fought well tonight,” Gaara said. His voice was calm and composed, but Sakura thought she detected a hint of pride in there as well.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling as a light flush rose on her cheeks.

After a moment of silence, Gaara cleared his throat before asking, “Shall we go?”

Sakura nodded, her eyelids suddenly feeling heavy at the thought of finally getting to lay down and get some proper sleep. She hadn't fought anyone this strong while going all-out in a long time, and she was definitely feeling the exhaustion that had begun to seep down into her bones.

They left the training grounds and began moving toward the residence, running at full speed and taking the shortcuts along the top of the buildings. The ache in Sakura’s legs from the freshly-healed wound kept her from going as quickly as she normally would, but it didn’t take them long to reach the residence.

As the door to the residence closed behind them, Sakura reached out to grab Gaara's hand, lacing their fingers together. They began to head in the direction of their bedrooms, keeping close to each other as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and when they stopped outside of Sakura's bedroom, she leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Gaara's cheek. Her lips lingered, and when she pulled away, Gaara was smiling softly.

"Goodnight Sakura," Gaara murmured quietly, kissing her forehead tenderly before beginning to walk toward his bedroom at the end of the hall. Sakura squeezed her fingers around his as he moved away, refusing to let go until she couldn't hold on anymore without following him.

"Goodnight Gaara," she called back, watching him as she pressed her palm to the seals on her door to unlock them. Gaara smiled softly before turning away and entering his bedroom.

Sakura stared at the place Gaara had disappeared for a moment longer before finally moving into her bedroom, tugging her shirt off as soon as the door behind her was shut. She stretched her arms above her head and winced as her sore muscles pulled. If she went to bed like this--sore and covered in sand and dried blood--she would regret it in the morning, even if all she wanted right now was to get some sleep.

After letting out a long-suffering sigh she moved to the bathroom, tossing her clothing into the laundry basket before jumping into the shower. While she was cleaning herself off, she steadily increased the temperature of the water, letting the heat soothe her aching muscles. Once she was clean, she wrapped herself in a towel and moved back into her bedroom, grabbing another towel on the way to dry her hair.

Sakura's eyes fell to the bed as she dried herself off, but felt her attention shift from the prospect of sleep to the bedside table where the poison journal she'd found in the residence's library lay on top of the book she'd borrowed from Gaara's office months ago. She'd read everything in the book that she could find on poisonous plants and desert animals several times over, but there was something in the back of her mind that made her reluctant to look away. Was there something she’d missed?

_They've been gathering small brightly colored frogs, and no one quite knows why_ , she heard Sai's voice say in the back of her mind.

Sakura’s heart raced in her chest. Sure, she had researched every plant and every animal from this area more times than she could count, but she'd only skimmed information about other areas. Could it be...?

Sakura quickly threw on her pajamas and sat down on the bed, pulling the book out from under the journal and flipping through the pages. She passed the section on plant life and the following section about scorpions and spiders. She nearly passed the section on jellyfish and octopuses but decided to place a bookmark there, figuring that she should go back and read the sections she’d merely skimmed before more thoroughly, just in case she’d missed something.

When she reached the section on rainforest animals she paused, reading every bit of information on every frog she could find. None of them were brightly colored like Sai had mentioned, but she read anyway, frowning when none of the poison symptoms matched up with what she was looking for.

And then she turned the page and her breath caught in her throat.

Taking up the entire page was a picture of a bright yellow frog. The word 'exclusive!' was written across the top in large, bold font.

"This new species of frog that we found in the rainforests of Fire Country are typically a golden yellow color, though a mint green morph was recently found," Sakura read out loud, her eyes widening slightly as she continued reading. "Like many poisonous frogs, the poison is stored in its skin glands as a deterrent for predators. The poison itself is a steroid alkaloid that is both neurotoxic and cardiotoxic in nature, preventing its victim's nerves from transmitting impulses, leaving the muscles in an inactive state of contraction, leading to heart failure and death."

Sakura fell back onto the bed, gazing up at the ceiling as her mind began to race. Every symptom she’d just read was exactly the same as the symptoms caused by the mysterious poison that had been targeting Suna’s medics. There was just no way that there was more than one poison out there that caused those exact reactions, because it would have been utilized as a tool of war a long time ago if it wasn’t so rare.

Her heart was pounding against her chest as she realized that this was the first real break she’d had since finding the journal. 

Sakura pulled the book back to her and continued reading the section dedicated to the frog, poring over the pages that described where it was found, what its eating habits were like, and how small they really were. And then at the very end of the section, she found the words that she’d been looking for since arriving in Suna.

“We theorize that an antidote could potentially be created by combining foxglove and tetrodotoxin, which is found in a rare species of puffer fish, but further research is needed.”

She immediately began flipping to the section on marine life, her heart pounding so loud she could hear it. This was the breakthrough that would allow her to create an antidote--she was determined to find more information on this rare puffer fish, no matter how long it took.


	24. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing, you beautiful human beings.  
> Also thank you to everyone who's been leaving comments. I know some of you say that I make your days better but honestly, all of the love and support I've received has made writing this such a fun experience. Thank you all so much.

Sakura gulped down the rest of her coffee, grimacing as the bitter liquid slid down her throat. She knew that she should have slept the night before, especially since her muscles hadn't had enough time to properly heal from her fight with Shin. But it had been impossible to sleep after finally finding out more information about the tetrodotoxin she'd read about in the poison journal so long ago.

"You said we’re supposed to be looking for a puffer fish with black stripes, right?" Kankuro asked from his place on the floor against Gaara's desk in the center of the Kazekage office.

"For the hundredth time, yes," she replied, grabbing another book from the large pile that she'd gathered beside her. Kankuro tossed the book he'd been looking through dramatically across the floor, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he stared at her.

"Are you sure you're not making shit up? I mean, we've gone through at least 50 books so far today and we haven't found _anything_ indicating that the book you found wasn't made of lies and deceit."

"I already told you, I learned about the frogs before I found that information. My sources are reliable."

"Your _sources_ ," Kankuro mocked, making air quotes around the word 'sources'. She hadn't told him that she'd heard about the frogs from Sai, because she didn't want to potentially compromise his mission.

Sakura rolled her eyes and tossed a book toward Kankuro for him to read through next, ignoring the look he shot her as her eyes lifted to find Gaara smiling at her from where he sat behind his desk. She knew that no one else in the room could see his smile, since Kankuro was turned away and Shin was standing behind him, which meant that it was only for her to see. She smiled back softly, letting her gaze linger until Gaara turned his eyes back to the document in front of him.

"I'm with Kankuro on this one. It's pretty obvious that you're just wasting your time," Shin said suddenly, his voice curt.

"This is _not_ a waste of time," Sakura bit back. "And if you wanted us out of your hair faster, you could always, I don't know, _help_ us find the information we need."

"My job is to protect Gaara-sama, not sit around reading books like we're back in the academy."

"Finding this information could be the difference between life and death for Suna's medics. I don't know why you're so against helping us."

"Like I said, my responsibility right now is to protect Gaa--"

Before Shin could finish his sentence, he was cut off by a tapping sound from the back of the office. Sakura looked up to see Gaara's sand tapping against the wall by the bookshelf, and then suddenly two ANBU agents appeared in the room, standing on either side of Gaara.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" the ANBU on Gaara's right questioned.

"I'd like for you to stand guard in Shin's stead while he assists Sakura-san and Kankuro with their task," Gaara stated calmly, never once looking away from his document.

"Understood, Kazekage-sama."

"Are you serious?" Shin asked, his expression quickly changing into one of bewilderment. When Gaara merely nodded in response, still without looking up, Shin let out a resigned sigh.

Sakura grabbed a book from her pile and threw it at Shin a little harder than she needed to. It hit him on the stomach with a 'thud', and Shin shot a sharp glare her way. Sakura ignored him and opened the book in front of her, hiding her face behind its pages and grinning when she heard him begin to grumble to himself.

A few moments passed, and once she was convinced that Shin was looking away, Sakura shifted her gaze to Gaara. She watched him scribble something down on his document for a moment before silently mouthing 'thank you' his way. Even though his eyes were still focused on the paper in front of him, a smile pulled just at the edge of his lips, as if he'd still seen her.

Sakura opened the book closest to her and hid behind it, not wanting to get distracted by Gaara. It didn't take her long to get lost in the book, her eyes skimming over every word rapidly as she looked for even the slightest mention of the animal they were looking for.

Time passed slowly and the room fell into near silence as Sakura went through book after book. Occasionally someone would flip a page or Gaara would write something down in his documents, but other than that, the office was eerily quiet. Sakura yawned, and when she opened her eyes again she was surprised to see a mug of coffee being held out to her.

"I figured you could use this," the ANBU said, and Sakura immediately recognized their voice as the medic who'd healed her and Shin after their fight the night before.

"Thank you," Sakura whispered, smiling gratefully as she reached out to take the mug. The first sip of coffee tasted like heaven, and Sakura felt the warmth spread through her as the caffeine hit her.

Just as she was taking her second sip of coffee, a strangled gasp sounded from the other side of the room. Sakura's body tensed as she shifted her eyes to where Kankuro was sitting, raising an eyebrow when she realized that he wasn't in danger like the sound he'd made suggested.

Kankuro didn't seem to notice the look she was giving him however, because he just pressed his face closer to the book he'd been reading. From this angle Sakura could tell that his lips were touching the pages, and it looked like he may as well have been trying to eat the book.

"I found it!" Kankuro screamed, shoving the book away from his face and tossing it onto Gaara's desk.

Sakura immediately stood and moved to the desk, placing her mug on the desk and bending over to stare at the pages that had been left open. There were no pictures in this book, so she skimmed frantically over the words until she finally found what she was looking for.

Near the top of the second page was a small description of a rare species of puffer fish that matched what they were looking for. Reading further, she realized that not only had they found proof of the animals existence, they'd also found a _location_.

"So far this species of puffer fish has only been sighted near Nanakusa Island during the early winter months," Sakura breathed out, her eyes wide. "That's... now."

"I'll send a team out to gather samples of the poison for you," Gaara said as he grabbed a blank scroll. He opened it and quickly wrote down the name and description of the animal they would need and where it could be found, and then handed it to one of his ANBU. "Take this to headquarters and have them get a team together, and make sure they have teleport scrolls that can handle the extended distance to get back here quickly."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama." The two ANBU bowed toward Gaara and then flash-stepped away.

"Thank you, Sakura," Gaara spoke again, his voice more quiet than before. He glanced at Shin and Kankuro who were both standing near his desk before shifting his eyes back to Sakura. Sakura's breath caught in her throat as Gaara smiled, his eyes filled with warmth. "We would have never made this progress without you."

"Yeah yeah, Sakura’s great and all, but since when do you know how to smile like that?" Kankuro asked, his voice both offended and shocked at the same time, as if he was surprised that Gaara could smile so openly and annoyed that he hadn't seen it first.

Sakura scowled in Kankuro’s direction before shifting her attention back to Gaara. His eyes locked with Sakura's meaningfully; there was a seriousness in his gaze, and Sakura was taken aback by the weight that that one look carried.

"Someone has been teaching me how to recently," Gaara replied airily before looking away, fixing his eyes on the documents he'd been going over before. "Though I'm not sure if they're aware of how much they've really taught me."

A light flush rose on Sakura’s cheeks as she ducked her head avoiding Kankuro’s eyes as he whipped his head to stare at her.

“You mean you two finally--”

“Finally what?” Sakura challenged, cutting Kankuro off and gathering herself before shifting her eyes up to glare at him. He seemed completely unperturbed by her tone and expression though, if the shit-eating grin on his face was anything to go by.

“I have to go tell Tsubaki-chan,” he said suddenly, practically bouncing in place before darting over to the other side of the Kazekage office. He opened the glass door leading out to the balcony and jumped off of it, his chakra strings attaching to the closest building so he could swing across the street like some kind of weird human-spider hybrid.

“Is Tsubaki-chan one of his new puppets?” Shin asked curiously.

“Tsubaki-chan is his girlfriend,” Gaara replied, his voice as calm as ever.

“That doesn’t mean she isn’t a puppet,” Shin scoffed. His response caught Sakura off guard and she snorted, hiding her mouth behind her hand.

Gaara shook his head, but Sakura could tell that he was holding back his laughter. “She’s human, so far as we know.”

“Huh… that’s really weird.”

“If you’re so curious, why don’t you follow him and see her for yourself?” Gaara suggested, just the barest hint of humor edging into his voice. “While you’re at it, could you make sure he doesn’t tell the entire village as well?”

“With his big mouth that’ll be hard, but I’m sure I can think of something to keep him quiet,” Shin smirked, and Sakura had a sudden image of Shin using his kusarigama to whip around Kankuro’s puppet room, destroying every single one of them. “I’ll be back soon.”

Sakura watched as Shin followed the same path Kankuro had, except he actually shut the glass door behind him before moving to the balcony. He glanced back at them one last time before dropping to the streets below.

Sakura waited with bated breath until she was sure that Shin was finally gone and then shifted her eyes back to Gaara, grinning when she saw the laughter in his eyes. 

“I didn’t expect him to be so excited,” Gaara chuckled.

“He’s been hinting at the idea of us getting together ever since he dropped ‘The Art of Love’ on your head,” Sakura said, thinking back to the conversation she’d had with Kankuro in the poison research lab what felt like forever ago. She’d turned the conversation back around to him and Tsubaki, but even back then he’d hinted at Gaara having feelings for her.

“I’ll have to thank him for that book one day,” Gaara said thoughtfully as he leaned back in his chair.

“You can’t,” Sakura laughed, shaking her head. “If you thank him once, he’ll demand a ‘thank you’ every day and be completely insufferable.”

“You raise a good point. Maybe in a few years, then. We have time.”

Despite the calm tone of Gaara’s voice and the nonchalant way he’d said it, Sakura could see the question in his eyes that he hadn’t wanted to ask. His words had been a statement, but he’d also been asking her, _“We’ll be together for a few years at least… right?”_

Sakura watched his face carefully, her heart warming at the concern etched into the tiniest changes in his face that he likely wasn’t even aware of. He was letting her know that he wanted to be together for years to come, and even though she wasn’t sure what would happen in the future, her heart had already decided on an answer.

“Yeah, we have time,” she said quietly, smiling softly. 

The tension in Gaara’s expression immediately dissipated, until all that was left was a quiet happiness and the gentle affection that never seemed to leave his eyes when he looked at her. Sakura felt her heart flutter as she reached out to link their fingers together, the smile never leaving her lips.

_Yeah, this is the right decision._

*****

Sweat dripped down her thighs as Sakura jumped back, barely evading the kick Gaara had been trying to send to her side. She lowered herself into a defensive position, her eyes watching for any slight movement from him while she caught her breath.

They'd been sparring all day with a larger dose of the chakra-blocking poison than normal, and she was exhausted. From the way that Gaara was breathing heavily across from her, she could only assume that he was just as worn out as she was. The basement of the residence had become uncomfortably warm a long time ago, and Sakura knew that they couldn't keep sparring much longer.

Sakura blinked as sweat began to trickle down dangerously close to her eyes, and in the split second she'd had her eyes shut, Gaara had decided to dart forward and close the gap between them. The muscles in his right shoulder tensed and Sakura immediately threw her leg out while lifting her hands to parry his oncoming punch.

The heat in the basement must have delayed Gaara's response time because he continued moving forward. Sakura took the small opening and dropped down to sweep her foot behind his ankles, effectively tripping him. Gaara began to fall, but managed to reach his hands out just in time. He grabbed at her shirt, pulling her down with him.

Sakura tried to send chakra to her feet to regain her balance, but the chakra-blocking poison had affected her more than she'd thought it would. As she fell she reached out to grab Gaara's shirt, trying to gain the advantage, but then she felt sand wrap around her wrist and stop her movements. Before she could process what was happening, Gaara’s sand had let her go. He used their momentum to flip them, and Sakura landed hard on her back.

Sakura hissed sharply, her eyes squeezing shut as her already-sore muscles hit the mat. The impact knocked the wind out of her, but she refused to give up without a fight. Her legs were still entangled with Gaara's, and she moved to try and flip him, but stopped when she opened her eyes.

Gaara was hovering above her, his arms holding up his weight on both sides of her shoulders, effectively caging her in. Sakura's eyes ran up and down his body, from the thin sheen of sweat on his neck to the lithe muscles of his arms that had become more pronounced since they'd started training. She drank in the way his chest rose and fell rapidly, and the way his breath softly fanned against her face, and shivered.

Without thinking about it, Sakura reached up to gently run her fingertips along the muscles of Gaara's arms. She parted her mouth to lick her suddenly dry lips as her eyes shifted back to Gaara's neck, wondering what would happen if she leaned up right now and kissed just beneath his ear.

Would he push her away, or would he let her? Would she be able to push their boundaries even further and run her tongue along the shell of his ear? Would he be uncomfortable if she pulled his body down to press against hers, or would he encourage it and even respond on his own?

"Sakura?" Gaara's voice suddenly broke through her thoughts, his tone curious and a little rough.

It was only then that Sakura realized that her fingers had stopped running along his arms and had instead moved up to grip at the back of his shirt. She debated trying to play it off like she'd been trying to continue their fight, but the heat in his gaze halted her words before they even began to form. The way she'd been looking at him had been less than innocent, and he _knew_ it.

"It's pretty late," Sakura whispered as she removed her hands from his shirt. "We should stop training for the night, I think."

Gaara studied her for a moment before nodding. He moved off of her awkwardly and then stood, holding his hand out to help her.

Sakura grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled herself up, smiling when their fingers linked together naturally. Gaara's sand floated around them and Sakura watched with fascination as it picked up their water bottles and the small gourd from the other side of the room. She'd seen his sand do menial tasks before, but right now she needed the distraction from the thoughts that were still tugging at the back of her mind.

They moved through the residence quietly, never once letting go of each other’s hands. When they finally reached the door to her bedroom they stopped, neither of them speaking as they turned to face each other. Sakura's heart was still racing from earlier, and as she let her eyes sweep across his face, she realized that she didn't want him to go.

Subconsciously, her fingers squeezed around his, as if trying to let him know that she wanted him to stay even just a moment longer. Gaara glanced down at their entwined fingers and smiled softly before leaning down. He kissed her gently, and Sakura practically melted right there on the spot.

Before Gaara could pull away from the kiss Sakura stepped forward, making sure to keep her lips pressed to his. She lifted her free hand, gently touching his neck before sliding her fingers into his hair, lightly gripping the soft strands. Gaara's fingers tightened around hers, and then suddenly Sakura felt him step forward to close the remaining distance.

Sakura took his movement as encouragement and swept her tongue along his lower lip, rubbing it against his when he opened his mouth almost immediately. A quiet sound that was almost a moan escaped his lips as he kissed her back, his free hand finding its way to her waist. His fingers lingered there for a moment, hesitant, before tugging her somehow even closer to him, and when Sakura felt the first hint of his arousal pressing into her hip, she gasped.

Sakura fought to keep herself from gripping the strands of Gaara's hair harder and instead kissed him more insistently, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Her head was swimming as the desire and heat began to build within her, and when Gaara nibbled on her lower lip, tingles shot down her spine. She whimpered, and desperately tried to press herself even closer to him, _needing_ to be closer.

But just as she pressed against him, Gaara pulled away from the kiss, taking a small step back. Sakura could still feel his body heat, could still feel the electricity pulsing between them, and her body ached to close the distance again.

"Did I hurt you?" Gaara asked quietly.

Sakura blinked with confusion for a moment as she recalled what had just happened, trying to figure out where he'd gotten that idea. Maybe he thought that her whimper from him nibbling on her lip was because of pain? Her face flushed bright red as she remembered the sound she'd made, her embarrassment making it easier to think clearly again.

"You didn't," she replied, knowing instantly from the look on Gaara's face that he didn't believe her. Her fingers that were just barely still in his hair played with the strands nervously as she fought the urge to look away. "I... I enjoyed it."

Gaara's eyes widened minutely as realization flashed across his eyes. His lips parted slightly, but the only word that left his mouth was a soft, "Oh."

Neither of them spoke immediately after that, and the air around them grew awkward as the weight of what they'd been doing finally settled in. It wasn't like Sakura had never expected them to move past gentle kisses, but it was still the first time things had gotten so heated. Every step forward that they'd taken, they'd always taken the time to make sure the other person was comfortable first.

Still, the fact that they'd both lost themselves in the moment told Sakura everything that she needed to know about what had happened. Gaara wanted her, just as much as she wanted him.

"I apologize if I went too far," Gaara said quietly. "I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

"I wasn't uncomfortable," Sakura murmured.

"Are you sure?"

"I promise."

The tension and uncertainty slowly disappeared from Gaara's eyes, and the affection that was left there in its stead was enough to take Sakura's breath away. Slowly, she withdrew her hand from his hair and pressed her palm to the lock on her door, keeping her gaze on him even as she saw him begin to grow curious.

Sakura softly bit the inside of her lip as she watched for his reaction, her nerves standing on end when the lock suddenly clicked open. She held her breath, knowing that if she wanted to, she could turn in for the night and that would be the end of it.

But that wasn't what she wanted.

Gathering every ounce of courage from the bottom of her soul, Sakura took in a deep breath and pushed the door to her bedroom open. Her fingers tightened around Gaara's as she did everything she could to keep her gaze steady, wanting him to know that she was absolutely sure about what she was about to say. His eyes seemed to understand the meaning in her gaze but he still kept silent, patiently waiting for her to cross the invisible line between them.

Gaara never pushed her boundaries further than she wanted, and he was always so kind and considerate to her, more so than almost anyone she'd ever known. Sakura's eyes softened as she watched him closely, a smile pulling at her lips as her heart began to flutter. Warmth flooded into her chest and spread through her body as she became aware, once again, of why she had fallen for him.

In the steadiest voice she could manage she asked, "Would you like to come inside?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, two things. I KNOW I left it off on a that's-what-she-said joke and I'm sorry, but also not sorry :D  
> Also, after the next chapter I'll be taking a small break from posting. I'm not entirely sure how long it'll be for, probably close to a month, but I promise that I haven't lost interest in this story and I 100% plan on finishing no matter what.


	25. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve edited the tags and rating to reflect the contents of this chapter, but for those who don’t want to read it, or those who do but not around family or something, this chapter has smut. Like, it’s most of the chapter.  
> Also thank you to TipsyRaconteur, cosipotente, and ohayohimawari for beta’ing and helping me with this chapter.

The door shut behind Sakura quietly, and the moment she heard the lock automatically click into place, the air in the room became tense and awkward. She'd been so confident when she'd invited Gaara into her room, but once the door was shut and they were actually alone together, she wasn't sure what to do.

"Do you want coffee?" she blurted out. She’d heard stories from Ino about how she’d invite people to her room for coffee when she was trying to lure them in, and although the order of things was a bit different, the intention behind the words was essentially the same.

"I'm alright but thank you."

"Okay... honestly, I didn't want any, either," Sakura said, shifting in place and looking to the floor as a blush rose on her cheeks.

"If you're uncomfortable, I can leave," Gaara said quietly, his voice calm.

"No, no, no. I'm not uncomfortable, just..." She trailed off, struggling to think of a word that would describe the underlying tension currently coursing through her.

"Nervous?" Gaara offered.

"Yeah, that’s the word," she said, hesitating before continuing. "Which is ridiculous, really. I shouldn't be this nervous."

"I don't think it's ridiculous."

"No?" Sakura asked, looking up to see Gaara shaking his head. Her eyes searched his, and she could see that there was no judgment in his gaze.

Sakura stepped forward, watching him for a moment before pressing a kiss to his cheek. She didn’t pull away immediately and instead lingered, wanting him to know just how grateful she was that he understood. When she leaned back slightly, Gaara turned his head, and suddenly their lips were so close that any small movement would make them touch.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, her words so quiet that she could barely hear them herself over the beating of her heart, but somehow she knew that Gaara would hear her. She lifted her hands to rest on his chest, and they were so close that the back of her hands almost touched her chest as well.

“Sakura, I…” Gaara began, but his voice trailed off as he pressed his lips together thoughtfully. Sakura could practically hear the words on the tip of his tongue, and even though she wasn’t sure what they were, she wanted to know.

“Yes?” she asked, keeping her voice as steady as possible.

Gaara didn’t finish his thought and instead stayed quiet for a moment before gently pressing his lips to hers. Sakura’s eyes fluttered closed as they kissed; it was soft, slow, and so full of emotion that it took her breath away. When he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, she slid her fingers up and into his hair to thread through the silky strands. His tongue swirled around hers before he pulled back just enough to nip at her lower lip, just like he had in the hallway.

Sakura whimpered, tingles running along her skin as she gripped Gaara’s hair tighter, pressing her body fully against his. Gaara lifted his hand, brushing it over her hip before sliding just under her shirt as if testing the waters. Sakura gently sucked on his lower lip before kissing him again, and he responded by slowly moving his fingers up her side, stopping at her waist.

Tingles spread across her skin from the places he touched, and she shivered, massaging his tongue with hers. He groaned quietly as his fingers slid further up her waist to her ribcage and she keened, eager for his touch.

“Gaara,” she whispered into the kiss. Sakura felt him tense up and begin to pull his hand away, but she quickly slid one of her own hands out of his hair to stop his movements. When he pulled back from the kiss, she could see the confusion etched into his expression. “It’s okay, you don’t have to pull away. I… I want you to touch me.”

A flicker of desire flashed through Gaara’s eyes as his hand on her waist tightened slightly. "Where?"

"Anywhere," she breathed out, leading his hand slightly higher until it was just beneath her bra. "Everywhere."

Gaara's jaw tensed, but he gave no other sign of being affected by her words. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she answered, keeping her voice steady as she let go of his hand. She wrapped her arms around his neck, moving one finger across the sensitive skin gently enough that she was barely touching him.

Sakura watched as he shivered, his gaze flashing with something darker that sent tingles down her spine. Her mouth parted as his fingers slipped beneath her bra, the digits stopping momentarily as he watched for her reaction. When she just smiled, he leaned down to kiss her again, slow and sensual as his fingers slipped under her bra and brushed over her nipple.

Sakura gasped into the kiss, and Gaara took the opportunity to swirl his tongue around hers, his fingers moving over her nipple a little more confidently. He flicked his fingers against the hardening nub, pinching it gently and smiling against her lips when she moaned.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Sakura's hands slid down to Gaara’s shirt, tugging the fabric up as far as she could. She wanted--no, _needed_ \--to feel more of him, and when he pulled away and took his hand out from under her shirt, she whined at the loss of contact.

"Trust me," he whispered, kissing her softly before taking a step back.

Sakura watched his movements carefully, her eyes fixing on Gaara's fingers as gripped the hem of his shirt. He lifted his shirt over his head slowly, and with every bit of skin that was revealed, Sakura felt her heart race faster.

Gaara placed his shirt on the nearby chair, and Sakura licked her lips as she drank him in, her eyes moving from the jut of his collarbone to the smooth expanse of his chest, which was broader than she'd imagined. Her gaze continued moving down over his abs, before finally settling on the 'V' beneath them with a thin line of red hair that dipped down beneath the waistband of his pants.

Her body seemed to move on its own as she reached out to run her hands along the same path her eyes had followed. Her fingers gently moved along his collarbone and over his chest, tracing the ridges of his abs before pausing just above the ‘V.’

A shuddering breath left Gaara's lips, and Sakura lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. The desire that burned in his eyes was enough to make her breath catch in her throat. She could tell that he was trying his best to keep his emotions under control, but he was starting to crack.

“Gaara,” she said softly, reaching out to take his hand as she licked her lips. She hesitated for a moment before moving backward slowly, pulling him along with her until the back of her legs hit the bed. Her heart pounded in her chest as she drew in a deep breath before speaking again, “I want you, Gaara. Do you want me?”

Gaara paused to think for a moment as he watched her before nodding. “I want anything you’re willing to offer, Sakura.”

Sakura smiled as her body relaxed. It was just like Gaara to stay respectful and offer her a way out if she was uncomfortable, even though the tension in his limbs gave away exactly how much he wanted her right now. Which was exactly why she wanted to give herself to him.

“What if I wanted to offer you everything?” Sakura asked quietly, trying not to let her nerves show as she slipped her hand out of Gaara’s grasp to pull her shirt over her head, grabbing her bra with it and tossing them on the floor. “Would you still want it?”

Gaara’s gaze flicked down and back so quickly that Sakura wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it, but the growing hunger in his eyes let her know that he’d seen what she’d done.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice terse and rough. She watched as he gulped, his hands clenched into fists by his sides as if that would help him keep control over himself.

Sakura smiled, butterflies flitting around in her stomach nervously as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of her shorts. If she took this next step, they would never be able to go back to just being friends. If they ever broke up in the future for some reason, because the council in Suna didn’t approve of their relationship, or because she couldn’t stand to be away from Konoha for long, or any number of reasons that were completely plausible, she would be heartbroken. She wouldn’t be able to go on missions to Suna, and she wouldn’t be able to attend Kage meetings with Naruto anymore, because it would hurt too much.

Even so… he’d subtly told her that he wanted to be together for years back in the Kazekage office. He was in it for the long haul, and so was she. There was no telling what would happen to them in the future, and she’d learned that the hard way when he’d been kidnapped and had almost died. She didn’t want to ever regret the chances she didn’t take.

Slowly, Sakura bent over and tugged her shorts down, making sure to leave her panties on. A flush rose on her cheeks as she kicked the shorts to the side, her face reddening further when she stood straight again and saw the passion in Gaara’s gaze. His eyes devoured every inch of her before rising to her eyes again.

The look he gave her was so intense that it caught Sakura off guard. Her eyes never left his as she sat back on the mattress, licking her lips before scooting back so that her legs were no longer dangling over the edge.

“Come here, Gaara,” she said quietly, holding a hand out for him. “You can have all of me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me,” Sakura said, mirroring his words from earlier as she smiled. “I’m sure.”

Gaara watched her for a moment before taking her hand, slowly stepping toward her. He hesitated a bit and then crawled onto the bed beside her. Sakura smiled as he sat beside her and leaned back on one arm so that she could turn to face him, catching his eyes as he did the same. Gaara squeezed her hand gently before moving his hand to tilt her chin up, and Sakura leaned toward him.

The kiss was so soft and tender that it sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach, and Sakura mewled as his fingers slid to her neck before moving over her shoulder. When he reached her waist, she shivered at the feeling on her bare skin, her hand moving to massage the nape of his neck. He responded by sucking lightly on her lower lip, and when she softly moaned, his fingers twitched a little before sliding just a little bit lower to her hip.

“You said anywhere and everywhere, right?” he asked against her lips.

The husky tone of his voice distracted her for a moment before she remembered her own words from earlier when she’d said she wanted him to touch her. She flushed slightly from embarrassment and whispered, “Yes.”

Gaara’s fingers moved to her stomach, tracing down her abs and pausing just above her panties. “What about here?”

Sakura’s breath caught in her throat as she realized what he was asking. She hadn’t expected him to be so bold, but she wasn’t about to question it. “Please, yes.”

The anticipation began to build as his fingers slowly moved over her panties, down to where she needed him to touch her. She held her breath, and then his fingers pressed down through the fabric, gently searching until he found her clit. The breath she’d been holding escaped all at once as her back arched slightly, and she felt him smile as he leaned in to kiss her. He rubbed a small circle over it experimentally, and she moaned at the sensation.

Sakura’s hand slid into his hair as she kissed him harder, squirming as he grew more confident in his movements and moved his fingers a little bit faster. She pressed her hips up, trying to find even a little more pressure from his fingers. When his movements suddenly stopped, she whined, pulling back from the kiss to protest as he moved his fingers away.

She opened her mouth to ask why he’d stopped, but the words caught in her throat as his fingers slipped into her panties. Her eyes fluttered open to see him watching her intently, fire burning in his eyes. His fingers twitched but stayed where they were as if he were afraid of moving any lower.

“Please, Gaara,” she whimpered, pushing her hips toward him as she licked her lips. His gaze darkened as his fingers moved down to touch her directly.

She was already sensitive from the touches over her panties, and the direct stimulation was enough to send little shocks through her body. Her head fell back on its own accord and Gaara immediately attached himself to her neck, sucking and licking the sensitive flesh before slowly dragging his tongue lower. He nibbled her collarbone and moved to tease her nipple, suckling the sensitive nub before gently pulling it between his teeth. She gasped as her hips jutted forward, and then she gripped his hair, pulling his mouth to hers as she fell back onto the bed.

Sakura softly bit his lower lip before crashing their lips together. The low and guttural groan that he let out sent tingles through her, and she parted her legs as his fingers slid lower to tease at her entrance. When he didn’t move any further, Sakura lifted her hips to encourage him and let him know it was okay.

Gaara let out a shuddering breath before slipping one finger inside of her slowly. Sakura moaned, her fingers tightening in his hair as her back arched.

“You’re so wet,” Gaara groaned, his voice strained as he slid his finger out and back in slowly.

Sakura whimpered at his torturously slow movements, sucking on his lower lip as she placed her free hand on his chest. She could feel his heart beating beneath her palm before she moved it lower, sliding it down over his abs and pausing as her fingers reached his pants, staying above the fabric. Gaara shivered and inhaled sharply, and she pulled back from the kiss.

“Can I?” she asked, smiling when he immediately nodded. She moved her hand lower until she felt his length through his pants, shuddering when she realized that he was already half-hard without being touched yet.

Sakura locked her eyes with Gaara’s, watching his reaction as she slowly moved her hand down his length. He licked his lips and then smirked slightly as he slowly pushed another finger into her. The feel of him stretching her gently made her ache for more, and she gripped him just a little tighter as she moved her hand again. A groan escaped his lips, and his fingers started moving again, a little faster this time.

Sakura gasped, her head falling back a bit. Gaara moved in quickly to kiss her neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive spot just below her ears as his fingers curled inside of her. Her head swam slightly, but she continued to move her hand, pulling it up to the top and thumbing over the head of his cock through his pants.

Gaara growled, licking up her neck before biting softly on her earlobe. The sound was so dangerous and so close that it sent a shiver down her spine. As she continued to move her hand, she felt Gaara’s carefully contained restraint start to crack. His fingers moved harder and faster as his thumb moved to press on her clit, and the sudden change in intensity flooded her senses, leaving her breathless.

Sakura grabbed onto Gaara’s hair and pulled him up to crash her lips against his again. The kiss was reckless and passionate, and she could feel the heat coil low in her stomach as tingles ran along her body. She kept stroking him, though she wasn’t able to keep the pace even anymore, shuddering as Gaara groaned into the kiss, low and deep.

“I’m gonna--” she gasped as her body tensed.

Gaara kissed her harder, almost desperately, as his thumb started moving quickly over her clit. She whimpered, trembling as waves of pleasure began to wash over her, and then his fingers stroked the perfect spot inside of her as he bit on her lower lip, and suddenly she was coming undone.

Her head fell back as she cried out, twitching and trembling as the shockwaves pulsed through her. She could feel Gaara murmur her name into her neck as his fingers continued to move, drawing out her orgasm until it overwhelmed her and she finally fell down from the high.

Sakura’s body was fully relaxed as the haze began to set in, her eyes opening slowly to watch Gaara. She wanted to say something, anything, but the only thing she could manage to do was smile at him. He smiled back and leaned forward to kiss her forehead as he pulled his fingers out of her, the sensation sending tingles down her spine again because of the aftershocks.

As she slowly became aware of the things around her, she realized that the hand she’d had in Gaara’s had moved to grip the bed sheets. Her other hand was still around his length, and she squeezed gently, fighting back a giggle when he shuddered.

“Sakura,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. Her hand immediately stilled, as she watched him closely, the giggly feeling dissipating as she tried to figure out what was going on in his mind even though her thoughts were still fuzzy.

Concern was etched into Gaara’s face, but there was still a fire in his eyes, a deep desire that he was trying to conceal. She studied every minute change in his expression and then smiled, leaning up to kiss his chin affectionately.

“I meant it when I said that you can have all of me,” she whispered, moving her hand to cup Gaara’s cheek. She lifted herself just enough so that she could nuzzle his nose with hers as he let out a breath he’d apparently been holding. “What do you want, Gaara?”

He didn’t reply right away and instead moved to kiss her, and it was so tender and intimate that she melted into it. Gaara shifted his hips forward, gently nibbling on her lower lips as he pressed himself into her palm.

“I want to be inside of you, Sakura.”

The rough tone of his voice seeped into her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. She slid both of her hands to his hips and tugged him toward, gasping softly as he pressed against her.

“Then take me,” she breathed out, gripping the waistband of his pants and tugging them down slightly. His eyes darkened, and she watched with fascination as he licked his lips, wanting to feel his lips on hers again.

“Are you--”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she interrupted, her heart fluttering when Gaara chuckled softly. She wasn’t sure if she would ever get used to that sound.

“Alright, but stop me if you feel uncomfortable at any point,” Gaara murmured quietly.

Sakura nodded as she felt Gaara’s sand grab her hands in a gentle hold that she could easily break out of if she wanted to. It moved her hands away from his pants to rest on his shoulders as she felt Gaara shift his legs around. The sand tugged lightly at her panties, not with enough force to actually move the fabric, but it was just enough to let her know what Gaara wanted. She lifted her hips so that the sand could pull her panties off of her hips, the coarse granules so different from what she’d felt so far that it made her shiver.

The sand moved to the outside of her thighs, gently pulling at them with no real force behind the movement. The fact that Gaara was using his sand to communicate things he was probably too shy to say was somehow endearing.

Slowly, Sakura parted her legs, watching as Gaara moved between them. Her eyes fell to his erection, a flush rising on her cheeks as she took in his size and shape, realizing belatedly that he must have used his sand to help him take his pants off.

His gaze searched hers as if trying to make sure that she was okay before they moved forward. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and even though she was still nervous, she knew that with Gaara this was right. She wanted this--she wanted _him_.

After a moment Gaara smiled, apparently content with what he’d found in her eyes. Sakura smiled back and linked their fingers together, her mouth parting in surprise as he gently pinned her hands by her head before shifting so that he was by her entrance. Her breath caught in her throat as she kept her gaze locked with his, lifting her hips slightly to help him find an angle, and then slowly, slowly, he moved.

Sakura’s eyes fluttered as the tip of his dick entered her, but she stubbornly kept them open, wanting to watch his expression. His mouth parted slightly as he pushed himself in a bit more. Sakura shuddered, her fingers tightening around his. She gasped as he moved again, pressing forward slowly until he was fully inside of her.

Gaara’s forehead dropped to press against hers as they both let out heavy breaths. The tingling pressure from being filled so perfectly was enough to send pleasure throbbing through her. She smiled softly, nuzzling his nose before leaning up to kiss him.

Everything that Gaara was feeling was clear in the way he kissed her back. She felt the nervousness, the tension, and the adoration that he felt toward her. It was so strong, but it was something she knew well because she felt it for him as well. Sakura tilted her head, pouring every emotion she felt right now back into him, knowing that he understood when he inhaled sharply.

“Sakura,” he murmured against her lips, and somehow her name on his lips was so much more than just that. She shivered, pulling her hands away to splay across his chest, both of them touching just over his heart. There was no way to convey exactly how she felt right now, but this would have to do for now.

Gaara moved his hips, slowly pulling himself out of her before pushing back in fully. Sakura mewled into the kiss, her back arching slightly as she slid her tongue into his mouth. He moaned appreciatively as he rocked his hips again carefully.

His movements were a bit awkward initially, but Sakura pushed her hips up with his until they found a rhythm together. It was slow and sweet at first but gradually increased in speed, every movement sending small shocks through her as he filled her completely.

Gaara pulled out almost all the way, his sand moving beneath her and lifting her hips slightly. When he thrust back in again, waves of pleasure washed over her as he hit her sweet spot. She cried out, fingers digging into his chest as tingles ran along her skin.

Gaara growled into the kiss and picked up the pace, hitting all the right places as he moved harder and faster. Sakura whimpered, her back arching off the bed as her head began to fall back, but his sand caught her. He kissed her hard as the sand cradled her head, biting on her lower lip as he pushed back into her roughly.

“Gaara, I--” she began, her words catching in her throat as the pleasure built up within her. She whimpered, her hands moving to grip at his arms desperately. “--I’m so close.”

Her admission brought a growl from his lips as he said, “I am, too.”

Gaara pulled away from the kiss and shifted so that he was leaning all of his weight on one arm, hitting her at a new angle as his free hand moved to rub at her clit as he kept thrusting into her. His lips moved to her neck, kissing and nipping until he reached her ear, sucking on her earlobe before whispering into her ear, “Come with me, Sakura.”

She whimpered, her hands grasping desperately at his arms as he continued to push into her until she was falling apart again. Her body clenched, shockwaves rippling through her as all of her nerves stood on end, and she dissolved into pleasure.

Gaara’s movements faltered as his sand that was holding her up fell to the bed, and then he thrust once more and groaned into her ear. Sakura felt the warmth inside of her as he came, and lifted his chin so that she could kiss him again.

A few moments later Gaara pulled out, collapsing next to her on the bed. They were both still trembling and breathing heavy, but when Sakura turned her head to look at him, she smiled at the soft and sleepy expression on his face.

“We should probably shower before we pass out,” Sakura murmured.

“Yeah,” Gaara breathed out a bit shakily. “Just give me a minute.”

Sakura laughed softly and turned her body toward him, laying her arm over her stomach and snuggling her head onto his chest. Gaara shifted and placed his arms beneath her shoulders, his hand running up and down her side slowly.

A few moments later his hand stilled, and Sakura glanced over at him to find a contemplative look on his face. He looked at her, and she could see the conflicted feelings in his eyes.

“Sakura, I…” he began but trailed off as he frowned.

Whatever Gaara was thinking about right now was serious, and Sakura wondered for a moment what it was, but the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. There was an emotion in them that had been there for a while; it had been something small at first, but it had quietly grown over the last few months.

Sakura smiled softly and nuzzled into his shoulder, kissing it before resting her cheek against it once more and whispering, “I know.”

The depth of the affection in his gaze was clear as day to her, and the meaning behind it was unquestionable. Her heart began to race for reasons that had nothing to do with anything that had happened today.

Sakura moved her hand to rest on his chest above his heart, feeling it beat beneath her palm just as fast as hers as she said, “Me, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now for the bad news. After this chapter I won’t be updating for a while, due to several reasons that I will explain on my writing tumblr ([nyxako-writing](http://nyxako-writing.tumblr.com)) BUT that does not mean that I’ll be giving up on this story. If everything goes well, I should be back to posting regularly starting March 28th, and if for some reason I’m unable to, I’ll let you guys know on that same tumblr account.  
> Thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments and supporting me so far. I really appreciate it more than you know.


	26. Déjà vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I've missed you all, and I seriously can't believe it's already been a month lol. Time really flies. I have some stuff to say but I'll wait until the end notes so you can just jump right into it~  
> Thanks as always to the amazing TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente for beta'ing ^^

The faint morning light shifted across Sakura's skin as she pulled her shirt on, nerves fluttering in her stomach. After she'd showered the night before, she'd grabbed clothes to change into from her room, and even though she'd woken up in Gaara's arms, there was something about being in the sunlight that made her more acutely aware of what they'd done.

_Gaara pulled out almost all the way, his sand moving beneath her and lifting her hips slightly. When he thrust back in again, waves of pleasure washed over her as he hit her sweet spot. She cried out, fingers digging into his chest as tingles ran along her skin._

A flush rose on Sakura's cheeks as she shook her head, trying to clear the night before out of her thoughts. As she turned around, she spotted Gaara standing by the door across the room already fully clothed. His eyes slowly lifted from her chest to meet her gaze, his face reddening with embarrassment.

Gaara coughed awkwardly and cleared his throat before speaking. "Do you have any plans for the day?"

"Kankuro and I came up with a few possible formulas for the antidote, so we're meeting with Tsubaki-chan to go over what plants and herbs we'll need her to grow for when the tetrodotoxin comes in," Sakura answered, shifting on her feet as she tried to not feel embarrassed. She would have watched him get dressed too if she'd finished first, and after what they’d done, there really wasn’t a reason for her to suddenly get shy now. 

"That sounds like a good plan," Gaara murmured, nodding once before holding his hand out for her.

Sakura moved closer to the door, linking her fingers together with his and watching as the sand began to swirl gently around their hands. At first, they'd only held hands outside of the residence at night when it was unlikely that anyone would be around to see them, but lately it seemed like Gaara had stopped wanting to hide their relationship so much. She wondered if there would be a day where they could walk around openly without the sand hiding them. It was unlikely since he was such a private person, but she couldn't help imagining it.

They moved through the otherwise quiet residence together, staying close even as they left and began to walk through the streets of Suna. There weren't many people out this early in the morning, but those who were out just waved or bowed toward them. Sakura wasn't sure if they just didn't notice her hand linked with Gaara's, or if they noticed and didn't think it was anything worth reacting to.

Time passed too quickly and they reached the Kazekage tower in almost no time at all. Sakura frowned, not wanting to let go, and squeezed his hand lightly before she could stop herself. Gaara turned around to face her, his expression confused at first, but it was quickly wiped away by understanding and a soft smile.

Sakura watched as he glanced around them as if looking for danger, her senses heightening as she wondered if he'd noticed something that she hadn't. Just as she was about to ask what was wrong, two sand walls rose on either side of them, and he leaned forward to kiss her.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she melted into the kiss that was both gentle and quietly urgent. It was far too short for her liking, and when he pulled away she leaned forward to peck his lips once more.

"I'll see you tonight," Gaara murmured, kissing her forehead softly before pulling away.

"Have a good day," Sakura breathed. 

"You, as well," Gaara said softly, the faintest of smiles on his lips as he turned away from her and pressed his free hand to the seals on the door to unlock them.

Sakura let go of his hand as the sand walls fell away, just in time for the door to open. Shin was standing in the entryway, obviously waiting for Gaara, and she nodded her head toward him to acknowledge him. He returned the gesture, and Sakura's eyes moved back to Gaara, watching as his eyes shifted toward her one last time before moving into the tower, the door shutting behind him.

Sakura stood there for a moment, biting her lower lip to keep herself from grinning stupidly, before turning around and pushing chakra into her feet. She began running to the opposite end of the village, wanting to get to Tsubaki's parent's restaurant for their meeting before she was late.

*****

"We're going to need foxglove, a _lot_ more than we already have," Kankuro said, his voice muffled by the scone he'd just shoved into his mouth.

Sakura grimaced and quickly shifted her eyes away to watch Tsubaki, who pushed her fluffy auburn hair behind her ears as she glared at Kankuro. The threatening look still somehow looked cute when it was coming from her.

"Do you realize how hard it's going to be to grow that much that quickly?" Tsubaki chastised, rolling her eyes when Kankuro shook his head. "It's going to be nearly impossible! Your samples are coming in, what, 2 weeks from now?"

"About that, give or take a week," Sakura commented before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Foxglove takes more than a week to germinate, and then another 3 weeks to grow to the size we would need." Tsubaki scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. "You guys are asking for something that just can't be done."

"I'm sure--" Kankuro started, his words halting as he began choking on his pastry. He pounded his fist against his chest and gulped the food down, eventually letting out a sigh before continuing, "--If anyone can do it, it's you. You're the best at this stuff."

Tsubaki grinned and Kankuro's face burned red, as if he finally realized that he'd complimented her directly. Sakura snickered quietly from the other side of the table, chewing the inside of her lip to stop herself from laughing when Kankuro turned his eyes to glare sharply at her.

There was movement under the table just before something hit Sakura's leg. She leaned back to look beneath the table, only to see Kankuro's foot moving back to his side of the booth. Sakura shifted her eyes up to glare at him, pushing a tiny bit of chakra into her big toe when she saw the smug look on his face, like he thought he'd won.

Sakura kicked her foot out toward Kankuro's leg, smirking when his mouth fell open in a silent scream. His hands quickly flew up to muffle the shriek that he let out as his head fell to the table.

"What's wrong?" Tsubaki asked as she placed her hand on Kankuro's back.

"Nothing. I'm fine," Kankuro groaned, his voice strained.

Tsubaki looked up and glanced at Sakura questioningly, to which Sakura responded by vaguely shrugging her shoulders. It took a moment, but Sakura knew that Tsubaki had figured out what happened when she rolled her eyes and smacked him on the back of the head.

"Why are you pissing Sakura-chan off when you _know_ she's stronger than you?" Tsubaki asked, baffled.

Kankuro groaned into the table and then shifted so that his chin was resting on it, though his eyes were still cast down. "She's not _that_ much stronger..."

Sakura grabbed a discarded straw wrapper, crumbling it into a ball and placing it on the table before flicking it at him as hard as she could without using chakra. It hit him right between his eyes and he hissed, bringing his arm up from under the table to rub at the spot that was quickly growing red.

"Don't you even think about retaliating," Tsubaki scolded, and from the way Kankuro pouted, Sakura knew that he'd been about to do exactly that. "You'll only get hurt, and if you do it I will take exactly one piece out of one of your puppets, and you'll have to tear every single one apart until you find what's missing."

Kankuro opened his mouth to protest, but snapped it shut as he glanced between them. There was a look of betrayal in his eyes as he glared at both of them before muttering, "Women are evil."

*****

There wasn't a whole lot for Sakura to do while she was waiting for the poison samples to come in, especially now that Shin had returned as one of Gaara’s guards. So she'd decided to gather information, wandering the streets of Suna and chatting with the villagers who now recognized her just as easily as any actual Suna resident. Even though she'd found out what kind of poison was being used and was on the way to figuring out an actual antidote, she still had no idea who was behind the attacks. It was unsettling, to say the least.

The bell above the door rang as she entered Yamane's, the civilian bookstore she'd been to many times before. She could see little specks of dust floating around the large room through the dim lighting, and the seemingly endless rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves gave off a smell that only old books could. Some people hated the smell, but Sakura loved it.

"Hello, Sakura-san," the owner of the bookstore suddenly spoke up from her left. "What brings you here today?"

Sakura glanced toward him, smiling kindly as she took in his slightly haggard appearance. His curly dark brown hair was messier than normal, standing up in random directions as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. There were dark circles and bags beneath his eyes from exhaustion, but they did nothing to diminish the bright and icy blue color of his eyes.

"Hey Yamane-san. I'm looking for books on aquatic animals, though I realize that might be a little odd to ask for in the desert," Sakura replied, grinning when he laughed. They weren't close enough to be considered friends, but he was one of the few villagers who hadn't been suspicious of her when she'd first arrived and started asking questions.

"I don't hear that request very often, that's for sure," he chuckled before leaning over the counter, pointing down one of the aisles. "It should be down there to your left, all the way toward the back."

Sakura thanked him and began moving down the aisle he'd pointed out, glancing at the sections she passed. There were more romance novels than she'd expected, and right beside them was the self-help section, which was mostly filled with books on how to get and keep a relationship. It made sense, considering that most people finally had time for romance now that the war was over, but it was still a bit surprising to see just how many books there actually were.

Once she reached the shelves she was looking for she glanced over the titles, trying to find ones that she hadn't read before. There were only three, which was less than she would have liked, but maybe one of them would have more information on the tetrodotoxin or the puffer fish. She wanted to be as prepared as possible before the sample came in, so that she would know exactly what to do with it.

Sakura grabbed the three books and headed back to the counter, placing them on the dark wood surface. As Yamane-san rang them up for her, she caught the glint of a ring on his finger and tilted her head curiously.

"Are you married?" she asked, a little surprised when he nodded his head. He was young, and looked like he was about her age, so she hadn't really expected it.

"I've been married almost four years now. This is actually my wife's family's bookstore."

"Did you take her name, then?" Sakura questioned, digging into her hip pouch for some money before handing it over.

"Yeah, that's how things work in my family," he replied, his gaze darkening so slightly that Sakura wasn't sure if she was imagining it. "The men are seen as useless and are married off at the first available opportunity. Only the women get to keep the 'Hoki' name."

Sakura frowned, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to figure out where she'd heard the surname 'Hoki' before. She had the feeling it was something important, but couldn’t quite remember why.

"Ah! That reminds me, I had something I wanted to ask you, Sakura-san!" Yamane exclaimed suddenly, his bright and friendly smile back in place as he held his hand over the counter.

"Ask me anything," she said, opening her hand beneath his to catch the change.

"Does the Kazekage have a girlfriend or something?"

Sakura nearly dropped her change all over the counter, only managing to catch it by sheer force of will and trained ninja reflexes.

"Why do you ask?" she inquired, lowering her eyes and keeping her voice as steady as possible. She quickly pocketed the change, zipping her hip pouch closed before she could nearly drop anything else.

"He stopped by about a month or two ago and bought a few books from the self-help section," Yamane-san answered. The tone of his voice made Sakura look up at him, only to find mischief dancing in his blue eyes. "I'm sure you saw what most of those books are about when you passed them, right?"

"That's not a definitive reason to suspect that he's in a relationship, though."

"He also asked me to recommend a few romance novels, and when I asked why, he said it was to 'collect information'."

Sakura fought to keep her cheeks from flushing bright red as she realized why Gaara had been such a good lover, despite never hearing about him being in any kind of relationship before.

"Even if I knew the answer to that question, I'm afraid I can't tell you," Sakura finally answered.

Yamane-san narrowed his eyes suspiciously for a moment before he leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head and grinning. "I suppose you're right, sorry about that."

"It's not a problem," Sakura said as she grabbed her books. "Have a good night, Yamane-san."

"You too, Sakura-san."

Sakura smiled kindly before turning to walk out of the store, only glancing back at him once over her shoulder before pushing the door open. She realized quickly that she must have been in the bookstore longer than she'd thought, because the sky had darkened considerably. Her feet carried her along the now-familiar streets to the Kazekage tower, her body moving instinctively.

Her footsteps slowed as she began moving closer to the tower, frowning slightly when she saw someone leaning against it with their arms by their sides. From this distance she could only make out the ashy blonde hair and slender frame, but as she approached them she noticed the Adam's apple along with soft facial features and large doe-like brown eyes.

_He's beautiful,_ Sakura thought to herself, bowing slightly when he did the same.

Sakura leaned herself on the wall of the building across from the tower, her arms folded across her chest as she subtly kept her attention on the man who was now watching a scorpion move along the ground. There was something familiar about him, but she couldn't place her finger on what.

Just then, the door to the Kazekage tower opened and Shin emerged from the tower. He nodded slightly toward Sakura to greet her and then moved to the young man, who surprised Sakura by turning his body to face her fully. He smiled kindly and bowed before saying in a voice that was surprisingly calm and feminine, "Have a good night, Sakura-san."

"You, too," Sakura replied, her brows furrowing. She felt like she recognized his voice, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she watched them leave. Shin placed his hand over the other man's shoulder blade, which the other man responded to by resting his head on Shin's shoulder for a moment.

The door opened behind her and she shifted her attention to it, smiling when she saw the familiar shock of bright red hair. Gaara glanced down the road Shin had just disappeared down, and Sakura thought about asking if he knew what the relationship between Shin and that man was, but when Gaara smiled at her, all thoughts of other people disappeared.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked, his calm and soothing voice rolling over her. She nodded, reaching out for his hand and lacing their fingers together. The sand swirled around them as they began moving toward the residence in comfortable silence.

It was then that Sakura realized that, no matter where she was in the world, as long as she had Gaara's hand, anywhere would feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry that this chapter isn't anything huge or ground-breaking, especially since it's the first one I've posted in a while. I promise that there's a reason for everything though :3  
> Also, from here on, I'll be updating every two weeks instead of every week. I'll still post at the same time on Thursdays, but with everything going on, I figured it'd be better to give myself a bit of leeway instead of potentially having to make you guys wait a month again at some point. I hope you can understand~ and thank you to everyone who has still stuck with me. I really appreciate it.


	27. Senses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, my thanks go to TipsyRaconteur for beta’ing, and to cosipotente for reading everything over to make sure I didn’t fuck something up. :D

The sun was slowly lowering in the sky as the soft murmur of the crowd surrounded them. Sakura glanced over the crowd, eyes sharp as she studied the faces of the people around Gaara, only letting her body relax when she recognized all of the villagers. Shin cleared his throat quietly beside her, using their secret code to let her know that he also didn't see anything suspicious.

"Sakura-san!"

Sakura shifted her eyes in the direction that the high-pitched voice had come from, and smiled when she saw the little girl pushing through the crowd. She glanced toward Shin to make sure he was keeping watch over the crowd and then knelt down to greet the girl.

"Hey, how have you been?"

"I'm good! The bike thief hasn't come back at all!" the girl answered, bouncing on her feet before bringing her arms out from behind her, holding out a headband made from braided ribbons with little cactus flowers tied into it. "I made this for you!"

"You did?" Sakura asked, grinning when the girl excitedly nodded her head. "Thank you so much, I love it."

The girl giggled and watched with sparkling eyes as Sakura placed it onto her head, tying it over her own ribbon. Once the knot by her neck was tight, the girl twiddled her fingers together nervously for a moment before jumping toward Sakura.

Sakura blinked in surprise as the girl quickly hugged her before pulling away and running down the street she always seemed to arrive from. Sakura waved once the girl reached the end of the street, and even from here she could hear the high-pitched giggle that rang through the air as she turned down the corner.

If Sakura hadn't seen the transformation herself, she never would have guessed that the little girl who'd been hiding behind a lamp post the first time she'd gone on patrol with Gaara was the same one who'd just given her a flower ribbon and hugged her.

"Is that what you've been doing on patrol while I was gone? Making friends with little girls?" Shin scoffed to her side.

Sakura tensed as she stood, glancing at him once before turning her attention back to the crowd. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your job is to keep Gaara-sama safe."

"It's not my fault the villagers don't want to be friends with you," Sakura smirked, glancing at Shin to see him glaring at her with eyes like daggers. She sighed, rolling her eyes before continuing, "Look, I only relaxed a bit because you're here. I know you'd never let anything happen to him."

Shin seemed taken aback by the compliment, but he quickly covered up his surprise with a dismissive laugh as he turned his head away from her. Sakura smiled, finding it amusing that she could embarrass him, before going back to watching the crowd until it thinned out.

They moved to the next district of Suna, which was also full of people waiting to talk to their Kazekage. She again recognized all of the villagers, but after a few moments, a strange chill ran down her spine. As casually as possible, she shifted her eyes across the crowd, her heart leaping into her chest as she noticed movement from the shadows of a far-away building.

Sakura kept her face as neutral as possible, quietly clicking her tongue 3 times to give Shin the location of what she'd seen, which he responded to with a sigh, letting her know that he'd seen it as well. She breathed deeply to try and calm herself down so that the person in the shadows wouldn't know that they’d been seen. Sakura’s fingers rested casually at her sides, poised and ready to grab her kunai if she needed to.

The person in the shadows didn't move, but when they walked to the next section of the village, Sakura felt them begin to follow again. The person followed them all night, through seven different districts, until they neared the Kazekage tower. As soon as the tower was in their sights, the presence disappeared, but Sakura didn't let her guard down in case they'd only masked their chakra.

Sakura noticed the curious look in Gaara's eyes when Shin followed them into the tower, but he didn't say anything. They began to move up the spiral stairwell along the inside of the circular building, none of them speaking until after they'd entered the office. Sakura was the last one inside, so she shut the door behind her just as Gaara turned to look at both of them.

"What happened?" he asked, his expression serious. Shin normally parted from them before the tower was even in their sights, and up to this point he'd never followed them into the tower.

"We were followed all night by someone who was hiding in the shadows and trying to keep us from noticing them," Sakura stated.

"They weren't very _good_ at hiding themselves, but I figured it'd be best to not leave you guys alone," Shin added, glancing once at Sakura before shifting his eyes back to Gaara.

Gaara hummed thoughtfully for a moment before nodding his head. "I'll try to finish these documents as quickly as possible then, so that we don’t take up too much of your free time."

As Gaara sat at his desk, Sakura moved further into the office and leaned against one of the bookcases near the window. She watched as Shin mirrored her movements and crossed his arms over his chest, then shifted her eyes outside of the large window. If the person who was following them all night decided to attack at any point, they would almost definitely come at them from the window. All of the doors to get into the Kazekage tower, as well as the door to the office, had an expansive system of locked seals set up.

Sakura watched as the moon rose slowly further in the sky, only looking away from the window when she heard Gaara begin to organize the documents on his desk.

"Would you like to stay in the residence tonight?" Gaara asked as he stood, directing his attention to Shin.

"We don't want to risk whoever was following us figuring out that we're on to them," Shin answered, shaking his head. "Besides, I..."

Sakura glanced at Shin when he trailed off, her eyes widening when she saw what she thought was a faint blush on his tan face. What on earth was _that_ about?

"I understand," Gaara answered, and Sakura whipped her attention back to him. Knowing that Gaara knew whatever was making Shin blush just made her want to know even more.

"I'll still shadow the two of you and wait until you get inside the residence before going home, though. Maybe I'll check the perimeter to make sure they're not still creeping around."

"Thank you," Gaara said. "Send us a message when you return home safely."

"Of course."

Sakura shifted her eyes to Shin just long enough to see him nod before he opened the door to the balcony. He walked onto the balcony, closing the door behind him just before jumping off of it to the streets below.

"Shall we go?" Gaara asked.

Sakura nodded and moved toward Gaara, slipping her fingers into his outstretched hand. As they left the tower and began moving back to the residence, Sakura noticed that his grip on her hand was a little more loose than normal. He hadn't seemed phased by the fact that they'd been followed earlier, but maybe he was more shaken up than he let on. He'd never kept his grip this loose before, and was probably doing so now to give them a better chance of reacting if they were attacked.

Fortunately, Sakura didn't sense the presence again, and before she knew it they'd reached the second floor of the residence. She stopped outside of her bedroom and leaned up to kiss Gaara softly, whispering against his lips, "See you soon."

Gaara nodded and squeezed her hand once before continuing down the hall to his bedroom. Sakura watched him go until the door shut behind him, a soft smile on her lips as she entered her room. Her hip pouch was the first thing she took off, and her bra was a close second as she started getting ready for bed.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she changed into her pajamas and peeked out of the curtains, smiling at the small cougar sitting patiently on her balcony. She gave it a thumbs up, and it meowed cutely before disappearing into a puff of smoke. She would definitely have to buy some snacks for Shin's cougars tomorrow.

Sakura readjusted the curtain to cover the window fully and moved to get into bed, but just as she pulled the covers back, there was a quiet knock on her bedroom door. She smiled, her heart beating a bit faster even though she knew exactly who was on the other side of the door as she called out, "Come in."

The door was pushed open as Gaara moved into her room, dressed in his pajamas with a small gourd of sand in one of his hands. He shut the door behind him and moved to what Sakura now considered his side of the bed, placing his small gourd on the bedside table next to him.

Sakura crawled into bed and leaned her weight on her arm as she watched him pull the covers back on his side. Once he'd gotten into bed and moved to the center, Sakura scooted over so that she was laying close to him.

Gaara shifted so that he was laying on his back with one arm out, which Sakura responded to by draping her arm over his waist and cuddling against him, resting her head against his chest. Even though she was getting used to sleeping beside him, there was still a small thrill of excitement running down her spine from how new everything felt. If they hadn't had to wake up early tomorrow to train, she would have tried to stay up with him even just a little bit longer.

"Goodnight," Gaara whispered as he leaned to kiss the top of her head.

Sakura sighed contentedly and lifted her head to press a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling away and nuzzling her nose against his skin as she whispered back, "Goodnight, Gaara."

Gaara's arm around her shoulders pulled her closer against him, and Sakura listened to his heart beat slow and steady until she finally fell asleep.

*****

After they finished training the next day, Sakura found herself sitting on the kitchen floor in the Kazekage residence, legs crossed with a bowl of raw meat in front of her. She had disposable gloves on both hands, and cut off a piece of chicken with the meat scissors. After a moment, she looked up at the three cougars waiting patiently for food in front of her, and yelled, "Sit!"

From the other side of the kitchen, Shin rolled his eyes and said, "Sakura-san, they're not _dogs_. They're not going to--"

"Good girl, Momo!" Sakura exclaimed, tossing the meat in front of the small cougar who'd calmly sat down on the kitchen floor. It was the same cougar who'd been sitting on her balcony last night, and Sakura was quickly becoming attached to her. She shifted her eyes to Shin and smirked triumphantly. "You were saying?"

"You're insufferable," Shin said, rolling his eyes.

Sakura grinned, sticking her tongue out at him before turning back to the cougars. She looked at the one whose back she'd ridden months ago, then held her hand out with her palm up and said, "Give me your paw."

"Are you kidding me?" Shin balked, but the big cat immediately placed its paw into her hand.

"Good boy!" Sakura said excitedly, tossing some meat toward him and grinning when, after finishing the meat, he rubbed his face against her shoulder while purring.

Sakura heard Shin mutter 'traitor' from the other side of the kitchen, but her attention had moved to focus on Gaara, who was walking toward her.

"Can I try?" he asked. Sakura nodded and pointed toward the disposable gloves, which he put on before sitting beside her. She handed him a piece of meat and watched curiously as he regarded the cougars before saying, "Roll over."

The cougars stared at him with confusion, obviously not understanding what he was trying to say. Sakura nudged at Gaara's shoulder and made a small rolling motion with her finger when he turned to look at her. He watched her finger for a moment before nodding understandingly and turning back to the cougars, making the same motion with his finger that Sakura had as he repeated, "Roll over."

The two larger cougars looked confused still, but the little one immediately dropped down to the floor and rolled over. Gaara smiled and tossed the meat toward Momo, who meowed happily before eating. Sakura found herself smiling while watching Gaara. It wasn’t that long ago that his facial expressions had been small and barely noticeable, so seeing him smiling this openly was something she was still getting used to.

Just then, there was a knock on the front door. The pattern was one that Sakura recognized as the one that ANBU agents would use at the Kazekage office when they had important but not urgent information. She looked up at Shin, who had already started moving out of the kitchen to answer the door.

When Sakura glanced at Gaara, she could tell that he was concerned. He probably hadn't been expecting any ANBU agents to show up at his residence on a Sunday afternoon, after all.

"Go on," Sakura whispered, quickly cutting off a bit of meat for all of the cougars, giving a little bit extra to the boy who hadn't gotten any from doing tricks. Beside her, Gaara stood elegantly and took his gloves off before following Shin out of the kitchen.

Sakura began cleaning up, putting the meat in the fridge and throwing her gloves out, before washing the scissors and her hands. As she was drying her hands, she heard Gaara's voice carry from the hallway as he said, "Yukime-kun?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt you on your day off, Kazekage-sama," the person who must have been Yukime said, their voice soft and calming. Sakura frowned, feeling like she'd heard that voice somewhere before.

"It's quite alright," Gaara answered. "Is everything okay?"

Sakura glanced at the cougars who had grown curious at the conversation and were staring into the hallway. For a moment she wondered if she should move further into the residence so she didn't eavesdrop, but then the new voice said, "That depends on how you look at things. Is Sakura-san here? This concerns her as well."

Sakura's eyebrows knitted together as she wondered what that could mean, and when she glanced up from the cougars, she noticed that Shin was poking his head into the kitchen. He raised his hand to point his thumb toward the hallway, motioning for her to come with him. She nodded and followed him, patting one of the cougar's heads as she passed them.

When she reached the entryway, she recognized the smaller man standing near Gaara as the same one who'd been waiting for Shin outside of the Kazekage tower. Since he'd used the knock patterns that only ANBU knew and used, that meant that he was ANBU as well.

"Hello, Sakura-san," the man--Yukime-- said as he bowed respectfully. Sakura returned the gesture and the greeting, straightening her back as she heard Shin speak.

"What's going on?" he asked, and Sakura immediately noticed that his tone of voice was a lot less abrasive than it normally was when he spoke to anyone else. Interesting.

Yukime glanced between them and then sighed, as if reluctant to say his next words.

"Sai-san has returned, and I'm afraid he's brought some very bad news with him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is curious, Yukime is based on this beautiful man: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/409149128430321674/566008461440188426/Yukime.jpg. He’s the other character that cosipotente created, along with Shin.  
> ALSO, if any of you lovely readers also like Hero Academia, I uploaded a one-shot the other day where Bakugo literally turns into an angry pomeranian. ^^


	28. Answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million and seven thanks to cosipotente and TipsyRaconteur for beta'ing and keeping my head afloat.  
> Also, this chapter is dedicated to Lilou here on AO3~ ^^

"What do you mean they're planning an attack?"

The air in the Kazekage office was completely still as the words seemed to ripple around them. Everyone's eyes were focused on Sai as they tried to understand what he'd told them just moments ago, and Sakura was no exception.

Across the office by the large window, Sai simply stood there unphased, as if he was used to having multiple people stare at him like he was crazy. Maybe he was.

"I'm not sure that I understand why you're confused, Kankuro-san," Sai said, tilting his head slightly to the side.

"I mean, they have to be a fucking tiny village since I've never heard of them," Kankuro answered.

Sakura half-expected Shin to make some smart-assed remark about how Kankuro not knowing about a village didn't mean it was tiny since he didn't know a lot of things, but Shin said nothing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hand brush Yukime’s ashy blonde hair to the side before resting it on his slender shoulder. Sakura still couldn’t figure out where she knew Yukime’s soft voice from, but since he’d used an ANBU knock at the residence and Gaara hadn’t questioned him walking in with them, she could only guess that he was someone to be trusted.

"Do you remember when you came to visit me in Konoha last time, right before we came here?" Sakura asked, finally tearing her gaze away from Sai to look at Kankuro. His eyes were watching her curiously as he nodded. "Sai and I had just returned from an information gathering mission, and the village that we were watching over back then is the same one that's now planning a large-scale attack on Suna."

Sakura clenched her fist as she tried to keep herself calm, knowing that it wouldn't help anyone to lose her cool now. Still, that didn't help how _frustrated_ she was at this entire situation. 

"We'd suspected that they were planning something nefarious even back then, but we had no idea that they were murdering your medics to try and gain an advantage in preparation for an attack," Sai said from the other side of the room, drawing everyone's attention back to him.

"You heard them say this?" Gaara asked, and Sakura felt a shiver run down her spine at the hint of anger in his voice. He was normally almost perfect at keeping his emotions out of his voice when handling official Kage business, so for him to let that slip meant that his control over himself was slipping.

"Yes," Sai answered simply before adding, "They're the ones behind the poison attacks."

Sakura frowned as she looked to Gaara, her heart jumping into her throat when she saw the way his eyes were narrowed dangerously. His sand was slowly dancing in the air around him, sometimes flowing softly and other times jumping erratically, showing how much he was struggling to keep himself calm.

"How long do we have?" Shin asked, his voice surprisingly even despite the tension in his body and the way his fingers gripped Yukime's shoulder tightly.

"About a month."

Sakura inhaled sharply as her eyes widened. A month was almost no time at all, especially since they _still_ didn't have the poison from the pufferfish to create an antidote.

"Are you sure?" Gaara asked, his voice tight and controlled.

Sai nodded. "I have my ink mice stationed in their base to make sure the plan doesn't change."

"Why the fuck are they attacking Suna anyway?" Kankuro asked quietly, more to himself than anyone else.

Sai hesitated for a moment, his brows furrowed slightly in a rare display of emotion, before speaking quietly, "They said something about 'destroying Rasa's demon brat'."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed as he asked, "They knew our father?"

"It seems so."

The tension in the room grew thicker as everyone stiffened. Sakura glanced toward Gaara, chewing the inside of her lip when she saw his eyes. There were so many conflicting emotions in them, and while anger and frustration had been the most prominent earlier, the only thing she saw right now was guilt.

If this person really had been targeting Suna because of Gaara, there was no doubt that he would be blaming himself for the deaths of everyone who'd been murdered so far. Sakura fought back the urge to reach out to him, knowing that he wouldn't want to seem weak in front of this many people, especially not while he was supposed to be acting as Kazekage.

"That sounds like a personal vendetta," Yukime spoke up for the first time since they'd all arrived in the office. "Did you happen to get a good look at them?"

"Yes, but there was nothing about them that could really be used as an identifier," Sai said. "Brown hair, blue eyes, average height and stature, no scars or tattoos that I saw."

Sakura frowned as she wondered why that description sounded familiar to her. Sai was right; there was nothing unique about that description, and she'd met many people who fit it before. It was possible that she was just remembering someone else she'd seen recently, or even the man himself since she'd been watching the village with Sai before, but there was a feeling she just couldn't shake telling her that there was something far more important that she was missing.

For a few moments no one spoke, and the tension in their air was so thick that it was hard to breathe. Kankuro suddenly turned on his heel, mumbling something about herbs before leaving the office.

"I'll go with him," Shin said quietly, not waiting for anyone to respond before moving to follow Kankuro.

The door shut behind them quietly and Sakura turned her attention to the people left in the room. Gaara's eyes were narrowed and facing the floor, while Sai and Yukime both looked relatively calm despite the situation at hand. They were both ANBU though, so they'd probably seen things much worse than this. Sakura watched the three of them, her mind spinning slightly as she tried to take in the information that had been revealed. She wasn't sure what to do, or what to feel.

"Sakura-san, maybe you should return to the residence while we figure out a plan," Yukime said in what had to be the most calming voice Sakura had ever heard.

She opened her mouth to protest because she knew she could help them come up with a plan, but when she glanced at Gaara once more, her words stopped before they could escape her lips. His sand had stopped swirling around him angrily, and was instead moving slowly and low to the ground. His guilt was weighing heavily on him, and even though Sakura desperately wanted to help him, she was lost as to _how_ she could help.

"Sakura-san," Yukime began. Sakura shifted her eyes back to him to see him smiling gently at her. "You were given this mission because you're one of the best active-duty poison experts in all of the allied nations. Your talents would be much better suited to making sure we're as prepared for our enemies as possible."

A small wisp of sand brushed against her arm just then, and Sakura looked up to Gaara to find his eyes on her. He'd seemingly managed to pull himself back together, and his gaze was filled with a determination. But beneath that, there was a sorrow so deep that it washed over her and made her breath catch in her throat.

"I understand," Sakura said quietly. No matter how sad or frustrated Gaara was right now, he wanted to focus on making sure that no one else would die because of him. She crossed the room to wrap her arms around Sai's shoulders, telling him quietly, "I'm glad you're safe." 

Sakura turned back to Yukime and bowed politely before moving to leave the office. As she passed Gaara she slowed down, reaching out to touch his arm. The sand swirling around him parted for her, and she smiled gently. Even with everything going on, he wasn't shutting her out. 

Once she'd returned to the streets of Suna, she began walking toward the residence. She'd debated going to the research lab, but they'd already prepared as much as they could. There was nothing she could do until the foxglove was ready, and Kankuro had mentioned herbs on his way out, so he was likely checking on the foxglove with Tsubaki already. There was no reason for her to go there.

Her feet carried her to the residence, and once she'd reached her bedroom she began to pore over the books she'd accumulated so far, not bothering to take off her ninja gear. She went through book after book before picking up the poison journal she'd found in the residence's library so long ago. The chemical composition of the poison was far more detailed than anything in the books, but there was still nothing new to gain from it.

With a sigh, she tossed the journal onto the bed where it landed open to the first page. She laid down beside it, closing her eyes and placing her hands beneath her head as she tried to figure out what was nagging at the back of her mind.

For the last few weeks, she'd felt like she was on the verge of discovering something amazing, some kind of link that would tie everything together and make everything finally make sense. She'd learned a long time ago to trust her intuition, but it was still frustrating to know that there was something right in front of her, dangling just out of her reach.

Sakura groaned, running a hand through her hair as a scowl fell on her lips. She opened her eyes and shifted her gaze to the poison journal, glaring at it as if doing so would make it reveal all of its secrets. Just as she was about to close her eyes again, she noticed the two letters written in the top left corner, 'H. K.'

Sakura frowned and grabbed the journal, her keeping her eyes on the initials of the journal's owner as something in the back of her mind began to try and force its way forward. There was _something_ important about these initials, but what?

_"Hoki Katsuo was one of the closest bodyguards to the Yondaime Kazekage, but after the failed attack on Konoha, people found out that he'd had a major role in convincing the Kazekage to order the attack. He was also the only bodyguard to survive when Orochimaru murdered the other guards, but after the failed invasion he just... disappeared."_

Sakura sat up in bed, her heart racing as she heard Amano's voice in her mind, replaying the words he’d said all those months ago in Shin’s home when he’d answered her questions about the journal. Like Amano, Hoki Katsuo had worked for Gaara’s father. The only difference was that Hoki Katsuo had been his personal bodyguard, and had probably been close enough to refer to him by his first name. It wouldn't be completely out of the question for him to refer to Gaara as 'Rasa's demon brat', especially since he'd been ordered to be executed for treason before disappearing.

If Hoki Katsuo was still alive, if he really had managed to escape being being executed, he would no doubt harbor some kind of resentment toward Suna. And since he'd obviously been an expert on this poison, there was no doubt in her mind that he could have figured out a way to weaponize it. Still, there was something about his name that wasn't sitting right with her...

A flash of messy brown hair and blue eyes surrounded by a dusty bookstore appeared in her mind suddenly.

_"The men are seen as useless and are married off at the first available opportunity. Only the women get to keep the 'Hoki' name."_

"Shit," Sakura whispered.

She threw the journal back onto the bed as she unlocked the door to her balcony, closing it behind her quickly before jumping to the dark streets below. She ran as fast as she could to the business district, ignoring the strange stares of the villagers who were heading home, until she finally reached the bookstore.

When Sakura pushed the door open, the store was completely dark except for the faint light coming in from the window. She shut the door behind her, the hairs on her arm standing on end as the strange atmosphere surrounded her. The store was silent, _too_ silent, and somehow she knew that she wasn't alone.

She reached down to grab a kunai from her hip pouch, listening intently for any movement. She tried to keep her breathing as steady as possible as she gripped the kunai, her senses prickling.

Sakura shifted to the side quickly as a senbon flew past her, just below where her eyes had been, and she knew that if she hadn't moved, it would have landed between the C1 and C2 discs of her spine and killed her. Whoever was in the room didn't give her time to recover and quickly threw out five more senbon, all of which she barely managed to deflect. As they dropped to the floor with a clang, someone began to clap slowly from the shadows.

"Well done, Haruno-san. You're faster than your reputation gives you credit for."

Sakura frowned as she recognized the voice that had spoken, but she couldn't quite figure out who was on the other side of the shadows. They were definitely male, but that was the only thing she could gather.

"I bet I could crush you with my fist twice as fast as my reputation says, too," she replied stubbornly, keeping her senses on high alert.

The person in the shadows laughed, and something about it sounded so kind despite the situation that it sent a shiver down her spine. "You wouldn't really beat up an old man, would you?"

"If you're trying to kill me by severing my spine with senbon, then I damn well will. I don't care how old you are."

"I've always loved that spitfire quality in you, Haruno-san," he chuckled, and Sakura tensed as she heard their footsteps begin to move closer to her. "It's going to be such a shame to put that fire out, but someone has to do it if our plan is going to work."

The footsteps moved toward her again, slow and deliberate, until they finally moved out of the shadows. Sakura felt her mouth part in surprise as her eyes landed on the man she'd known for months, the same man who'd told her about Hoki Katsuo. His grey hair fell to his shoulders as his bright blue eyes shone in the darkness, eyes sinister despite the kind smile on his lips.

"Amano-san...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't remember, Amano was the person she bumped into in the Kazekage tower back in chapter 6, and the person who told her about Hoki Katsuo in chapter 14. Yes, I've been plotting this for a while, and all of the moving pieces are starting to come together.   
> This chapter is for Lilou for remembering the name 'Hoki' when the bookstore owner was introduced. (Also, the 'Hoki' clan is canon, from the Gaara Hiden book, if anyone wants to look into them further ^^)


	29. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always go to my sun and my moon, TipsyRaconteur and cosipotente. I have no idea what I would do without you two.

"Amano-san?"

Sakura's mouth parted as she stared at Amano. He stood in front of her calmly, his blue eyes twinkling in the darkness. He looked peaceful, but there was something sinister in his gaze that sent a shiver down her spine.

The shadows to her left shifted slightly, and Sakura just barely managed to jump back in time to avoid the senbon that came flying toward her. She'd been so surprised to see Amano standing there that she'd let herself get distracted, even though she knew that sometimes that split second could be the difference between life and death.

"Did you really expect that I would be alone?" Amano asked. He smiled kindly for a long moment before narrowing his eyes and whistling sharply once, the sound bouncing off the bookcases around them.

This time, Sakura sensed movement from her right side and managed to respond quickly, forming hand signs and slamming her palms against the ground. Two large earth walls rose on either side of her from the clay floor. Before the walls were tall enough to cover her, a single senbon from her right flew over the wall. She hissed, gritting her teeth as it sliced through the top layer of skin on her arm, causing blood to slowly pool in the cut.

"She's been hit!" Amano yelled, and suddenly the walls she'd erected around herself were torn down as several ninja broke through them and flew toward her from both sides.

_Damn it,_ Sakura thought to herself as she pushed her chakra to her feet before jumping back.

Almost immediately, she knew she'd been poisoned. The fact that she wasn't already paralyzed or dead meant that they'd only used the chakra-blocking poison, thankfully. She would just have to fight them off with her normal strength and speed alone. One of the ninja managed to land a punch onto her shoulder, but before anyone else could follow up on their attack, she kicked them away and rolled backward.

Her eyes darted around the dark room as her vision finally started to adjust to the lack of lighting. She looked to either side of her and realized that there were five ninja surrounding her, crouched and ready to attack. Amano was standing behind them casually, his arms behind his back as he watched the skirmish with a vague sort of interest, as if he thought he already knew what the outcome would be.

_If I can hold them off for three minutes, I'll be able to counter-attack,_ Sakura thought to herself.

She'd been building up an immunity to the chakra-blocking poison while training with Gaara, and she was almost certain that they wouldn't be betting on that since all of their training had been done in secret. Yes, she would be at a disadvantage because she couldn't use her chakra yet, but the bookstore was small, which would make it hard for them to take her by surprise. It also helped that they'd all jumped toward her when she was hit with the poison, which meant that it was very likely that none of them were good at fighting at a distance. She could do this.

Sakura shifted into a defensive position as the five ninja spread out in front of her exchanged glances, silently communicating with each other. She kept her attention focused, looking for any little sign of movement, and when all five of them darted toward her at once, she crouched low to the ground and swept her leg out in front of her.

Two of the ninja jumped out of the way to avoid her attack, causing one of the ninja from the other side of the room to falter in his movements just long enough to get tripped by her leg. He fell face-first to the ground, and Sakura smirked as she heard the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking against the hard clay floor.

"That fucking hurt, you bitch!" he yelled, his voice strained and nasally as he picked himself up and came barreling toward her.

Sakura quickly stood and straightened her arm, darting forward and slamming her arm against one of the ninja’s throats, effectively knocking them out, as she grabbed another one by the collar, throwing him roughly to the ground and kicking his side hard enough that he wouldn’t be able to stand back up. While she was preoccupied with the first two ninja, another one came up behind her and swung their fist into the back of her neck.

The pain hit her like a freight train as she stumbled forward. Her lips fell open in a soundless scream as her vision grew fuzzy and darkening around the edges. There was movement to her left and she shifted her body just in time to avoid a blow to the back of her knees.

Sakura glanced up and narrowed her eyes as they landed on Amano. He was standing on the other side of the room exactly where she'd left him, and even with her vision being unclear, she could still see the sinister smile plastered across his face as if he enjoyed watching her struggle. Anger bubbled inside of her as the world around her seemed to slow down. This was someone that Gaara had trusted, and here he was trying to have her killed. And he wasn't even bothering to do it himself. 

Sakura screamed with rage, throwing her fist out at the closest ninja to her, a grin pulling at the edges of her lips as they fell back against one of the bookcases harder than they should have. She flexed her fingers and felt the stirrings of her chakra returning to her. In another minute or so, she would destroy them.

With renewed vigor she jumped into the air, bending her knees and slamming both of her feet against the closest ninja's chest as she fell to the ground. She didn't have enough time to watch him stumble back as the ninja whose nose she'd broken flew toward her, apparently thinking that because she was on her back, she'd be an easy target. His blood dripped onto her shirt as she leaned up and grabbed him by the collar, using his momentum to throw him behind her and against the wall.

Sakura returned to her feet, flexing her fingers again and smirking when she felt the chakra pulsing beneath her skin. It wasn't as much chakra as she would normally use, but with two of the ninja already out of commission, the amount of chakra she'd be able to utilize was more than enough. It was time to counter-attack.

"Fight me yourself, you coward!" she screamed as she turned her eyes to Amano again.

"Where are your manners?" Amano asked, his voice light and airy, as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Sakura growled, pulling some of her chakra to her hand before bending and slamming her fist into the ground. The clay floor beneath the bookstore began to break, and all of the ninja around her that had still been standing lost their balance and fell to their knees, obviously not expecting her to be able to use her chakra already.

Using their moment of confusion to her advantage, Sakura pushed some of her remaining chakra into her feet and immediately darted toward Amano. She only had a split second to take in the shocked expression on his face before she pulled her fist back and plowed her fist into his face, feeling his jaw crack beneath her knuckles.

Amano went flying into the wall behind him just as the glass windows of the bookstore crashed around her. Sakura turned, her heart racing in her chest and her arms up and ready to defend herself against their reinforcements, but when she saw the ANBU operatives flood into the bookstore from the window instead, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed movement from where Amano had landed as he tried to escape. Sakura whirled around and ran toward him, grabbing the collar of his shirt and shoving him back up against the wall. When he began to squirm she lifted one of her legs, pressing her knee sharply into his thigh, smiling with satisfaction when a strangled scream died in his throat. His eyes were darting frantically around the room, but she could tell that the pain from having his jaw broken was starting to become too much for him.

She could have easily let him go, because there was no way he'd be able to leave now, but when she saw the fear in his eyes, her anger rose to the surface again. There was no doubt in her mind that this man had been responsible, at least in part, for the deaths of Suna's medics. He'd helped murder Tsubaki's sister and Gaara's original personal guard, the one she'd been sent here to replace, and he'd likely helped Yori kidnap Gaara all those months ago with the same poison he'd just used on her.

Sakura's eyes narrowed as she pulled some chakra to her knee, pressing it harder into his thigh as her hand that was fisting his collar pushed against his chest. 

"Enough," she growled.

Amano's eyes darted around for a moment longer before they slowly stopped, his body growing slack as he passed out from the pain. Sakura watched his body go limp before releasing him, her gaze following him as his body slid down the wall unceremoniously.

It was hard to believe that someone who'd been talking big about 'putting out her fire' had been so easy to defeat, but that was exactly the kind of scheming bastard he'd been. Never doing any of the dirty work himself, and crumbling to pieces when faced with someone stronger than himself.

"Sakura-san."

Sakura went to look over her shoulder at the ANBU who'd softly called her name. When she did, the pain from when she'd been hit on the back of the neck came back full force now that the adrenaline had started to wear off. She grunted as her vision blurred again, gritting her teeth when she realized that she didn't have enough chakra to heal herself.

"Sakura-san," the ANBU said again softly, in a voice that she couldn't tell if it was male or female, as they moved to stand in front of her. Their hands began to glow with healing chakra, and Sakura sighed with relief when she realized they were the same ANBU who'd healed her after her fight with Shin. "Where were you hit?"

"Back of the neck," Sakura said, hissing through her teeth as she leaned her head forward to give them better access to her neck. From how much it hurt, she knew that a bruise would have already started forming there.

"That looks like it hurt."

"Just a bit," Sakura chuckled humorlessly, watching through her lashes as the second ANBU who'd been there for her battle with Shin--Mountain, if she remembered correctly--grabbed Amano and roughly tied his hands together.

"Hey, Snow. We're gonna take these guys back to Interrogation," Mountain called out as he tossed Amano over his shoulder effortlessly. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'll heal Sakura-san and then escort her back to the residence before going home," the ANBU in front of her--Snow--replied calmly.

"Gotcha." Mountain moved away from them, and Sakura heard the soft chime of the bell above the entrance to the bookstore ring as Mountain no doubt opened the door. "See ya around, Sakura-san!"

Before Sakura could respond, the door to the bookstore slammed shut. The tension in the air began to dissipate as Snow's healing chakra gently worked at the bruise on her neck, the gentle hum of chakra filling the otherwise silent store.

"They poisoned you, too?" Snow asked quietly.

"Mm, but just with the chakra-blocking one," Sakura answered, letting out a heavy sigh as the pain slowly lifted from her neck. Once that was healed, Snow moved to the cut on her arm, drawing out the remnants of the poison that her body hadn't already broken down.

"How did you fight off so many people without any chakra?"

"They all sucked."

The soft chuckle that escaped Snow's lips was familiar. Sakura lifted her gaze, her eyebrows knitting together as she looked at Snow closely. They had a slender frame with short ash blonde hair, and their doe-like brown eyes looked an awful lot like those of the ANBU who she'd run into while they waited for Shin outside of the Kazekage tower. The same one who’d visited the Kazekage residence to let them know Sai had returned.

"Are you Yuk--" Sakura began to ask, but quickly cut herself off. She shouldn't let on that she knew him while he was in his ANBU uniform.

The man--Yukime--chuckled again, lifting his face to watch her with amusement flickering in his gaze. "I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out."

"Yeah, me too," Sakura chuckled, rolling her shoulder once Yukime was done drawing out the poison. She pushed her chakra into her fist to make sure the poison hadn't had any lingering effects and smiled when she felt it back at full force. "Thank you."

Yukime smiled gently before stepping back, his eyes looking around the empty bookstore that now looked quite a bit worse for the wear. Sakura followed his lead and pulled herself to her feet, brushing the dust off of her pants.

"Do you have some space in your hip pouch?" Yukime asked suddenly. Sakura blinked at him with confusion for a moment before nodding her head. "Would you mind if I placed my mask in your hip pouch? It might draw too much attention to you if you're seen walking around with an ANBU agent at this time of night by yourself."

Sakura nodded, realizing that he was probably right. At this time of night, she was almost always with Gaara in the residence. If she was seen out with Yukime as he was, anyone who saw them would likely think she'd just been meeting with a friend. Walking around with an ANBU agent was much more conspicuous and likely to raise questions.

As they walked along the now-empty streets of Suna, Sakura let herself think about everything that had happened in such a short span of time. Amano had tried to have her killed, but how had he known she would go to the bookstore looking for the owner? And what about the owner? Why hadn't he been there? There were too many questions she just couldn't figure out the answer to.

"How did you know to go to the bookstore?" Sakura finally asked, her voice quiet as she glanced at Yukime, her eyes widening at the expression that had taken over his normally-calm features.

Yukime was scowling, and he looked positively _furious_.

"We received a tip not long before we arrived," he began, his voice strained. It was strange to see him in such a state, when he'd always been so calm every time she'd seen him before. "Someone found his wife and child..."

Yukime didn't finish his sentence, but Sakura immediately knew what state they'd been found in by the way his eyes fell to the ground. Sakura's jaw clenched as she squeezed her fist by her side, cursing under her breath.

"And the bookstore owner?" Sakura asked tersely.

"Gone."

Yukime didn't expand on that, and he didn't need to. The rest of the walk back to the Kazekage residence was silent as Sakura reflected on what had happened. It was so frustrating. Yeah, they'd managed to capture Amano, who had likely been responsible for the death of Gaara's personal guard, and they were close to making the antidote so that no one would have to die from that poison ever again, but it just didn't seem like enough. An innocent woman and her child had been murdered, and if she'd only figured out who was behind the poison sooner, she could have prevented it.

When they reached the Kazekage residence, Sakura handed Yukime his ANBU mask and bowed respectfully as Yukime did the same. Neither one of them spoke as they parted, the air around them too heavy to speak into. For a moment, Sakura watched him walk in the direction of Shin's home, before she turned to open the seals on the door.

Sakura entered the main hall as quietly as possible, her eyes widening slightly when she saw Gaara standing by the staircase with his arms crossed over his chest. The sand swirling around him stopped suddenly as the door closed behind her.

“Hey,” she said quietly as Gaara looked up. His expression was completely neutral, and he was closed-off enough that she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

The sand around him returned to the gourd on his back as he uncrossed his arms and began to walk toward her. Sakura chewed the inside of her lip as he approached, fully expecting him to scold her for not telling anyone where she was going. 

Gaara didn't say anything though, and instead embraced her. Sakura froze for a moment and then breathed a shaky sigh of relief, her arms instinctively wrapping around his waist. She melted into his warmth and smiled softly, knowing that he was still trying to communicate with her without words. 

“ _I'm glad you're safe._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have some bad news. I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be able to start posting updates for this story again. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I’m just having a hard time trying to balance health stuff, work, packing/moving, and writing all at once. Hopefully once I’m all moved in to my new place, I’ll have a lot more time to write, but until things have settled I’m not sure if I would be able to keep any specific timeline for updates.
> 
> HOWEVER, I promise you guys: this story is still my top priority as far as writing goes, and I will **not** be abandoning it. I already have the rest of the chapters planned out, so now it’s just a matter of finding time to write them.


End file.
